Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
To *you* I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to acheive it through not dying.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.