A Month in the Country

By Elizabeth M. Lawrence (luckyliz@mindspring.com) and Kathleen M. Wilson
(Psistriker@worldnet.att.net). With lots of help by Carol Hardy and Kate
Conway. :-)


Raising her sword, Aria Andraven brought it down for the attack. Her opponent
quickly brushed it aside. "Think you're hot stuff, huh?" she taunted.

"I don't think. I know," Richie Ryan replied, slashing at her stomach.

Aria jumped back and twirled her sword in her hand. Circling around, she looked
for an opening. "Yeah, I don't think you know, either."

"Oh, funny," Richie replied sarcastically. He lunged forward. Aria side-stepped
his attack, kicking his feet out from under him. Richie landed hard on his
backside.

"You're rushing your attack again, love," Aria said, grinning at him sweetly.

"I'll show you rushed." He grabbed her ankle and yanked.

Aria fell, but recovered quickly. Before Richie could grab his sword again, she
was on her feet. "You really need to watch that, Halvan," she said.

"One of these days," Richie groaned.

There was a loud crash above them. Richie and Aria froze.

"Elaine's home," Richie commented.

They heard a few more sounds, small this time. Dish shaped crashes.

"Doesn't sound good," Aria added.

A few indecipherable words followed.

"Do you think it's safe to go up there?" Richie asked.

"Ida know."

It was only the sound of glass shattering that prompted the two immortals to
move.

"Not my crystal!" Aria cried, running upstairs.

Richie quickly followed. The pretend fight between the two women at Joe's had
been bad enough, as had the fight they'd had when Aria had found out his
headhunting spree had been Elaine's idea. He didn't want to know what would
happen if they were ever really pissed off at each other.



It wasn't quite as bad as they expected. Elaine was surrounded by broken glass,
but it wasn't from Aria's treasured family crystal.

Indeed, the glass apparently came from a couple of boxes at Elaine's feet.

"A'course, Ah wouldn' touch yah crystal, Aria," Elaine said, sweetly. "It's too
precious fah that. That's why Ah stopped at Cost Plus on the way home an'
picked up these." She gently nudged one of the boxes. The box went shooting
across the room, smashing into the wall.

"Now, do you mind if I go back to what I was doing?" Elaine picked a goblet up
in each hand and threw them.

"Of all the nahve...."

"Elaine?" Aria tried to get the blonde's attention.

"Couldn' pick a bettah time...?"

"Elaine?" Richie gave it a shot, with slightly better results. 

"An' Ah hope he chokes tah death on those stupid hats of his. WHAT?"

"What happened?" he asked.

"On the table," the blonde snarled.

Richie went over to it, ducking a couple of flying tumblers and picked up a
crumpled piece of paper.

"'To all employees,'" he read out loud. "'We regret to inform you that the
Starlight Club will be closed for the next six months due to earthquake retro-
fitting. Paychecks will be ready on Friday. Have a nice day. The Management.'
So...."

"Ah've been _fired_!" Elaine translated.

Aria and Richie looked at each other. So? She wouldn't be the first to ever
have been fired.

Sensing they didn't get it, Elaine paused, mid-swing. "No one _evah_ fires meh.
_Ah_ decide when tah stay an' when it's time tah move on. Not a bunch of money-
grubbin', back-stabbin', lyin', pettay-minded, bure'crats with theah heads up
theah asses." Each epithet was punctuated with a new crash.

"An' yah know what the wors' part is?" she continued. "_Ah'm_ the one paying
fah the damn refittin's! It's mah club! Ah told yah how the owner was havin'
trouble? Ah finallay decided tah go ahead an' arrange tah buy the place through
a third party. Ah nevah told yah because Ah didn' want anyone tah know.
People's attitudes change when they think yah can fire them.

"But it still doesn't mean they cn do this tah meh!"

Another glass smashed.

Richie and Aria waited for Elaine to work her way through her tantrum.

It soon became apparent that the box would give out before Elaine did.

"Maybe it's not as bad as you think," Richie suggested. "It might be nice not
having to do anything for a while."

The blonde shook her head "Yah don' understand. Ah _can'_ not do anythin'. Ah
tried that once. Ah lasted a whole week befoah goin' stir crazay. This is fah
six months. Six months, mah grannay's glass eye," Elaine corrected herself.
"Expect a yeah at least. What am Ah supposed tah do fah a yeah?"

"Ya can start by comin' to London with me," Aria suggested.

Elaine set down the tumbler she was holding. "London?"

"I've got a business meetin' comin' up in London next week and have to go home
for it," Aria answered, nodding. "Since I'm gonna be there for a while, I
figured I'd invite the two of you to come with me."

"You'll like her estate, 'Laine," Richie added. "It's real 'Masterpiece
Theater' stuff. Really huge, but really romantic." 

"Romantic is always good," Elaine said. "An' Ah haven' been tah London in a
lon' time."

Aria tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not exactly London proper.
Anda Savan is about two hours away. But with the way you fly, it's close
enough," she said. "And I know some great clubs out there, 'Laine. Maybe we can
drag spoilsport over there out on m'nights off and go dancin'."

"When do weh leave?" Elaine grinned. 

"Whenever we get tickets," Aria shrugged.

"Would yah mind if Ah make the arrangements?" the blonde asked. "Theah's a
certain airline Ah prefah when Ah have tah use a plane. They'ah verrah ...
accommodatin' tah night flyahs."

"Sort of a vamp airlines," Richie joked.

"Yah might say that."

"Would ya?" Aria asked. "The trip to London's long enough I was afraid we'd
hafta stick ya in the cargo hold like in 'Love at First Bite' or somethin'."

Elaine thought it over. Probably a two night trip then. "Ah'll go make the
calls."



Five nights later, the three were standing on the outskirts of the San
Francisco airport.

"Are you sure you got the time right?" Richie asked. "There's no one else
here."

"That's because weh'ah the onlay passengahs," Elaine explained. "Weh'ah just
waitin' fah the pilot."

They continued waiting. Soon, two figures walked up. Only one of them was on
two legs. The other was a Golden Retriever.

Elaine went to greet them and the two humans spoke out of range of Richie and
Aria's hearing before the three came over.

"Richay, Aria, this is Perray an' Joday," she said, introducing them. "Joday's
ah pilot."

"Nice to meet you." Jody held out a hand. 

Both immortals noticed how cold the hand was when they shook it.

"Honestlay, y'all. Do yah reallay think Ah'd let just anayone fly us across the
countray?" Elaine laughed. "A'course, Joday's a vampiah. So's Perray, fah that
mattah."

Richie, who had gotten down on his knees and was scratching Perry's head,
stopped. "Perry's a vampire?" He wasn't sure he liked that idea. Richie had
always been an animal lover and the idea of a vampire dog just didn't sit right
with  him. Elaine had enough trouble controlling the beast in her, how could a
dog deal with that without going completely feral?

"Don't worry," Jody smiled. "Perry used to be my seeing-eye dog before we
changed. He's well-trained."

"Seeing-eye dog?" Aria repeated. "You're blind?"

"Was," Jody corrected. "I see fine now."

"Jody used tah have multiple sclerosis," Elaine explained. "That's how weh met,
actuallay. She had sah manay medical records, Ah couldn' resist doin' a befoah
an' aftah comparison. An' Perray was nice enough tah allow it."

Perry left Richie and returned to Jody, nudging her in the knees.

"Thanks, Perry," she told him before turning to the others. "Perry says to tell
you we'd better get going. I'd like to be safely inside the hotel in New York
before morning."

"New Yahk?" Elaine asked as they headed for the plane. "Ah was hopin' fah
Torontah."

"Can't," Jody told her. "The thirty year rule, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"What's the thirty year rule?" Richie asked.

"Once yah leave a place, it's generallay a good ideah not tah return ah the
areah fah at least thirtay yeahs," Elaine explained. "Aftah that, should yah
happen tah run intah someone yah used tah know, yah can always pass yahself off
as yah kid oh grandkid."

"Oh yeah," Aria said. "We've got somethin' like that in case ya die in public,
only it's more unwritten than anythin' else."

The three vampires and two immortals boarded the plane. Elaine made sure Richie
and Aria were safely ensconced in their seats, then joined Jody and Perry in
the cockpit.



It was a remarkably _boring_ take off. 

Richie didn't know why, but somehow he had gotten the idea that since the pilot
was a vampire, it would be more spectacular than usual. No such luck, and now
he was bored. Elaine was up front talking with Jody, he could see her through
the door, and Aria was already asleep, which left the redhead with nothing to
do.

Fortunately, Elaine soon left the cockpit and returned to them, sitting in
Richie's lap.

"Yah look bored," she told him, reaching up to run her fingers along Richie's
eyes and face.

"I was." Richie slowly kissed Elaine, nibbling on her lower lip. "Know any way
of getting rid of it?"

"As a mattah of fact, Ah do." She unbuttoned Richie's shirt and slipped a hand
inside to play with his chest hair. "Ah asked Joday tah take us tah six
thousand feet an' she agreed."

"Oh?" Richie slid a hand up Elaine's leg, kneading the flesh through her skirt.

Elaine shifted her weight, straddling Richie's thighs. Then she unfastened his
jeans and moved her free hand inside. "Evah heahd of the mile-high club?"

All Richie could do was moan in response.

"Yah a membah?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"Would yah like tah beh?"

"What about Aria?" Richie groaned.

"Let hah sleep," Elaine answered. "Theah's plentay of time fah hah latah. Right
now, it's jus' yah an' meh."

"But Ari's a real light sleeper," he reminded her.

"Then weh'll give hah a show. Now, hush up. Theah's onlay one thin' Ah wan'
comin' out of yah mouth right now." Elaine's tongue flickered across Richie's
tonsils, darting around before disappearing.



"Can't the two of ya keep your hands off of each other for a blasted second?"
Aria grumbled, several minutes later. "I'm tryin' to sleep here, ya know."

"Sorrah." Elaine looked over Richie's shoulder. "Ah've just always found it
best tah find some means of distractin' mahself when Ah'm on a plane. Damn
thin's is unnatural, whatevah Joday says."

"You're kiddin' me, right?" Aria replied in disbelief.

"Why would Ah kid about somethin' like this?" Elaine asked. "Sorrah Ah
mentioned it." She rolled off Richie's body and back into her seat.

"Elaine, hon, I didn't mean it like that," Aria replied. "I just mean, well,
_you_ flyin' without a plane is unnatural, people just aren't supposed to do
that. This is science, I can understand how this works."

"That ain' what Ah meant," Elaine mumbled. "Ah know the science. It's the rest
of it Ah don' like."

"Raltra, hon, there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid of flyin'," Aria replied.

"Ain' it neithah. Don' like bein' in places wheah theah's no fresh air
flowin'," Elaine corrected.

Aria shrugged. "Ain't nothin' wrong with that either," she replied. She reached
over and took Elaine's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Yah willin' tah distract meh tomorrah night, then?" Elaine asked, squeezing
back.

"If I don't fall asleep first," Aria teased.

"Then Ah'll wake yah up. Besides." Elaine turned over and knelt on her seat in
order to look over it. "Since Ah inducted Richay intah the Mile-High Club, it
seems onlay fittin' Ah serve yah likewise."

"And what if I'm already a member?" Aria replied.

"An' who exactlay inducted yah?" Elaine asked. "Ah'm not sure Ah'd believe yah
even if yah did come up with a name, anayway, sah Ah'd jus' have tah do it all
ovah again mahself."

Aria shrugged. "I guess it depends on whether or not that time Methos and I did
it on top of that mountain counts," she answered. "Although the fact that I've
never done in on an airplane certainly wasn't from Cory's lack of tryin'."

"If that's all it took, most of Denvah'd belon'," Elaine pointed out. "Don'
count."

"I don't know. Methos sure thought it counted," Aria replied with a wink.

"Uh uh, gotta beh in mid-air," Elaine said, shaking her head. "Course, _some_
of us don' think it counts if yah use a plane, neithah, but weh must make
allowances fah the handicapped."

"Gee, thanks," Aria replied sarcastically. "That's very big of ya'll."

Elaine's face immediately fell. "Ah'm sorrah, Shalla. Ah didn' mean it that
way. Ain' yah fault yah can' fly."

"Elaine, hon, if'n ya start that again I won't distract ya tomorrow night,"
Aria replied, only half teasing.

"Fine. Sorrah Ah evah mentioned the idea." Before Aria could stop her, Elaine
moved to the other side of the cabin.

"What's going on?" Richie asked, waking up and noticing the movement.

"Elaine's sense of humor seems to be impaired by the altitude," Aria answered.

"Sure that's it?" he asked. "I've never known her to have problems with flying
before."

"Ain' nevah been with meh in a plane befoah," Elaine commented, just loud
enough for them to hear.

"See what I mean?" Aria replied.

"Someone's in a touchy mood," Richie said, signaling to Aria.

The two immortals got up and carefully made their way behind where Elaine was
sulking.

"Guess we better do somethin' about that, huh?" Aria replied as they got into
position.

"One," Richie counted.

"Two," Aria added.

"Wait, on three or after three?" Richie asked.

Aria shrugged. "I don't know, it's your ass, Halvan."

"Yah might try on three," Elaine suggested.

"Oh now she's takin' all the fun out of it," Aria teased with a wink Richie's
way.

"Guess we're going to have to teach her a lesson," Richie said. "Three!"

The two pounced, but Elaine was no longer there. 

"Hey!" Richie exclaimed.

"Yah say somethin'?" Elaine asked as a pillow hit Richie full in the face.

Aria quickly grabbed another pillow and tossed it at Elaine. "Oh, now she's
askin' for an all out war!"

"Ah am, huh?" 

Elaine disappeared. Aria was looking around for her when she felt Elaine tap
her on the shoulder. She turned and got a face full of pillow.

"Aye, you're gonna pay for that one, ducks," Aria replied as she bopped Elaine
in the back of the head with another pillow.

Elaine grabbed the pillow and swung. Only this time, Aria ducked and Richie
ended up getting it instead.

"All right, that does it!" Richie snapped. Before Elaine could react, he
grabbed her and began to tickle her.

"Aria, help!" Elaine screeched.

Aria shrugged. "All right, if ya insist." Then she proceed to help Richie
tickle the blonde.

Elaine gave another screech and retaliated, tickling both Richie and Aria.

Richie and Aria, of course, responded by stepping up their attacks.

After a few minutes, Elaine ducked out, leaving Richie and Aria to attack each
other. She then found a bottle of seltzer water and sprayed them with it from
across the cabin.

"Why you little...," Aria spat out.

"Ida know," Richie said, looking at her soaking blouse. "Looks pretty good from
where I'm standing."

Aria smacked him in the chest.

"What?" he complained. "You think 'Laine didn't do that on purpose?"

"Then she needs to aim a little lower," Aria replied with an evil look his way.

"Yah mean like this?" Elaine asked, spraying Richie below the waist.

"Exactly," Aria replied with an approving smile.



Danny Sullivan sat in the airport terminal, bouncing his foot in an extremely
bored manner. He tried to stifle a yawn while he waited for Aria, Richie and
Elaine to arrive, but finally gave up.

It was at that moment that the three finally arrived, naturally.

"Bettah beh careful theah, darlin'," Elaine teased. "Keep it open that wide an'
someone liable tah fall in."

Danny almost tripped over himself as he tried to get to his feet. "Oh man, I am
so sorry," he spat out in a rush, blushing. "Mum's gonna kill me for forgettin'
m'manners. You must be Miss Lambert. I'm Danny."

"A pleasure, Dannay," Elaine said, holding out her hand, which he took.
"Although, if yah insist on usin' mah propah name, the correct title is Missus.
Ah'm a widow."

"Oh. I'm sorry," he answered, not letting the hand go.

"Don' beh. It took two tries, but Richay an' Ah finallay managed tah whack the
bastard an' make it stick. Howevah," Elaine took back her hand and slowly ran
her eyes up and down Danny's body. Not bad. "It is just possible Ah might beh
persuaded tah change mah mind abou' that some day."

"Why, er, um, I, uh," Danny stammered.

Patting Danny on the shoulder, Aria came to his rescue. "Relax, Danny. She's
just teasin' ya," she laughed. "I know we're keepin' ya up past your bedtime.
'Laine's just got some ... travel restrictions."

"Oh, it's no problem, Auntie. It is m'job, after all," Danny replied. He
continued looking at Elaine, blushing even deeper.

"C'mon, Danny," Richie said, figuring he'd better save the poor guy before all
of Danny's blood ended up in his face. "I'll help you get the van." He grabbed
Danny's arm and pulled the younger man away.

Elaine waited until the men were out of earshot, then turned to Aria. "Shalla,
Ah think weh have a problem. Does he do that a lot?"

"Does Danny do what a lot?" Aria asked.

"Fall head ovah heels fah someone," the blonde clarified.

Aria thought about it. "Actually, I think this is pretty much the first time,"
she answered. "At least that quickly. You have dealt with someone with a crush
on ya before, haven't ya?"

"A' course, Ah have," Elaine said. "That's not the problem. The problem is how
Ah usuallay deal with it."

"Which is?" Aria wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, but she had to ask.

"Either Ah tell them tah forget it," the blonde shrugged. "Oh...."

"Or?"

Elaine flashed Aria a toothy smile. "Ah invite them up fah suppah.
Unfortunatelay, neithah one's a viable solution heah."

"I think Danny shouldn't be too much trouble," Aria said thoughtfully.
"Although I would be grateful if'n ya didn't turn him into supper. I like the
boy too much."

"Don' worray," Elaine assured her. "He's not mah type." Lacing her fingers in
Aria's, the blonde pulled the other woman up tight against her. "Ah prefah
someone with a longah lifespan, remembah?"

"Ya do, huh?"

"Yeah, Ah do."

They were interrupted by Richie clearing his throat.

"If you two are finished," he said, "we can get going now."

"Party poopah," Elaine teased.

"Don't worry, 'Laine. We can pick up where we left off once we get there," Aria
said. "I always knew that big, four-poster, queen-sized bed would come in handy
someday."

"Four postah, Shalla?" Elaine asked thoughtfully as they headed for the van.
"Ah don' suppose it's been fitted fah handcuffs?"



The drive out to Aria's estate was uneventful, since Danny's presence forced
Elaine to behave herself. Two hours after they left the airport, they pulled up
the drive through the wrought iron gate on Aria's land.

The exact second they entered Anda Savan, Elaine sat bolt upright.

"Whoah! What was that?" she exclaimed.

"What was what?" Richie asked.

Ignoring him, Elaine turned her senses inwards, concentrating. "Yah weren'
kiddin' when yah named this place Holay Ground, were yah, Shalla?"

"Of course, I wasn't kiddin', 'Laine," Aria replied. "I was there when it was
consecrated. That's not gonna be a problem for ya, is it?"

"No, Ah'm a'right," Elaine answered. "It's not hostile,  jus' ... curious.
Correction, make that _she's_ curious. Definitelay a female presence."

Aria leaned closer so Danny wouldn't overhear. "'Laine, I told ya m'estate was
on holy ground before we came here," she whispered into Elaine's ear. "Why
didn't ya warn us this was gonna happen?"

"Didn' know it would," the blonde confessed. "The onlay times Ah've been on
holay groun', theah was always a cross on the wall, so Ah thought that was what
was causin' the heebay-jeebays."

"No crosses, just a couple of holy books and a couple hundred acres of
consecrated ground, plus a few graves here and there," Aria said. "Well, no, I
take that back. I think Emma has a few crosses in her wing of the house. At the
very least, I know Maggie has the one she got for Confirmation, but you already
know about that one. Although I think Danny's got one, too, he just doesn't
wear it. The only holy symbol the Andravens have is the sword pendant I gave
Richie."

"It wouldn't beh the crosses," Elaine decided after thinking about it. "Ah have
tah see them oh touch them fah them tah bug meh. An' Ah've held yah sword
pendant, sah it ain' that, neithah. Which leaves -- oh shit."

"What?" Aria asked.

"Ah don' think Andraven's gonna like meh," the blonde answered.

"Eew. That could be a real problem," the warrior agreed. "Although I doubt She
would have had our paths cross just so She could toss ya out on your albeit
gorgeous little bum."

"Would She?" Elaine asked. "As Ah recall, Ah didn' exactlay give yah much of a
choice in the mattah when weh first met."

"'Laine, trust me on this one," Aria asked. "I almost went to that office a
couple of times before, but somethin' made me wait for that day. And I almost
got there a couple of hours earlier, but somethin' made me show up at the
precise moment I did. Andraven moved m'path in the right direction at the right
time to make sure I was there when ya showed up. She's probably just ...
testin' ya out. I hope."

"Uh huh." 

Whatever else Elaine had been about to say was prevented as the van stopped in
front of a large house.

Danny turned the engine off and unlocked the car. "Welcome home, ladies and
gent," he said. "Mum's probably in there havin' a fit already."

"A fit?" Elaine asked as Danny opened the door for her and she got out. "Ovah
little ol' meh? Whatevah fah?"

"Aside from the fact that you're company and obviously important to Aria and
the odd hour and the fact that we're just a wee bit late?" Danny replied, only
half sarcastically.

"Meh?" Elaine repeated, turning to Richie and Aria.

Aria shrugged. "It's just Emma," she replied. "Get her schedule all outta whack
and she likes to pretend that she falls to pieces."

"Besides, I remember someone else doing something similar the first time Nick
and Nat came over," Richie pointed out.

"He's got ya there, ducks," Aria laughed.

Elaine lightly smacked both her lovers.

"Who's Nick and Nat?" Danny asked.

"Mah brothah an' great great granddaughtah," the blonde answered.

"M'compliments to your plastic surgeon," Danny replied.

"Ah appreciate that. Oh Ah would if Ah had one." Elaine smiled at him. She then
turned to Richie. "When did Dannay meet Realitay?"

"Who?" Danny asked, confused.

"Friend of mine," Richie explained. "She said pretty much the same thing the
first time she met Elaine."

"Oh," Danny replied. "Well it's just that Auntie here neglected to mention you
bein' immortal and all."

"Ah prefah not having it mentioned until Ah know a boday," Elaine said. "People
don' always take tah the knowledge kindlay, Ah've discovahed."

Danny shrugged as he opened the back of the van. "I've been around immortals
all m'life, it don't bother me none," he explained. "As long as ya aren't after
Auntie's or Richie's heads, I can deal with it."

"Trust me on this." Elaine gazed heatedly at her lovers. "Ah have more reason
then anayone tah make sure theah necks remain intact."

Danny proceeded to turn a rather lovely shade of red. "Um, why don't ya'll head
on inside. I'll take the bags up to your rooms," he said as he quickly began to
unload the van.

"Rooms?" Richie asked.

"Shalla, please say he's referrin' tah a private suite," Elaine echoed.

"Um, Danny, hon...." Aria leaned in and whispered something into the young
man's ear.

Danny turned an even deeper shade of red. "Oh dear."

"Yah know, if he keeps doin' that, Ah'm gonna have a problem soon," Elaine
mentioned to Richie.

"Um, why don't we head on inside and leave Danny to his work, huh?" Richie
suggested as he started hustling Elaine towards the front door.

"Gonna carray meh ovah the threshold?" she teased.

"If you insist." Richie scooped the blonde up and carried her inside.

"And just _what_ is goin' on here?!"

Richie quickly set Elaine down. "Uh, hi."

"Yah must beh Missus Sullivan," Elaine said, quickly recovering. "Richay
thought Ah'd bettah come inside befoah Dannay passed out."

"You're late," Emma pointed out.

"Plane was delayed," Aria explained as she entered. "Bad weather in New York,
it does happen, Emma."

"Uh huh," Emma humphed. "Then the least ya could have done is call so I
wouldn't go worrying m'old bones about ya. And you must be Missus Lambert."

"Please, it's Elaine," Elaine said, holding out a hand. "The onlay reason Ah
use Lambert is sah people won't get confused when Ah'm with familay."

Emma shook her hand, but gave her outfit a rather disapproving once over. "Well
get on with the lot of ya," she tsked. "Supper's long since ruined but I'll see
what I can whip up."

"May Ah help," Elaine offered. "Ah love messin' around in the kitchen, even
when Ah can' eat it mahself."

Emma raised an eyebrow.

"Um, 'Laine, hon, Emma's kitchen is sort of off limits," Aria said quickly.
"She won't even let me in there and I own the place."

"Oh," Elaine pouted. "Am Ah at least allowed tah store a few things theah?"

"Of course," Emma answered.

"Thanks," the blonde beamed. "Ah'm on a ... special diet an' some of it needs
refrigerated at times."

"Special diet?" Emma repeated. "Mistress Aria, ya didn't say anythin' about
your friend bein' on a special diet."

"Ah suppose she didn' say nothin' about' meh sharin' the same bed with Aria an'
Richay oh mah sun allergay neithah," Elaine grumbled.

"I was in a hurry," Aria replied. Then she looked pointedly at Emma. "Besides,
when I called to say someone else was comin' with us, _someone_ wouldn't let me
get in a bloody word edgewise."

"I thought it was because we were 'distracting you' at the time," Richie said,
kissing her on the cheek.

Emma just humphed and headed back into the house.

"Oh boy," Aria sighed.

"Is it just meh oh does anayone else think Emma doesn' like meh?" Elaine asked.

"I wouldn't say that, love," Aria answered. "Emma's just ... old fashioned. A
wee bit too protective of me."

"But weh'd nevah let yah beh hurt," the blonde answered. "If Fleah oh Ah didn'
manage tah save yah from somethin', one of the othahs would. Jus' like las'
time with that damn Slayah."

"But 'Laine, hon, I know that and you know that and Richie knows that, but Emma
doesn't know that yet," Aria pointed out, giving the blonde a kiss. "Besides,
once Maggie gets here tomorrow, we'll have her on our side and that'll help
convince Emma of the wonderful person we all know you are."

"Besides, you're irresistible," Richie added, giving Elaine a kiss of his own.
"Give Emma a few days and she'll fall for you, just like the rest of us."

"Exactly," Aria agreed.

Elaine shrugged. That was due more to the vampire than her. "Sah, wheah's the
bedroom?" she asked, changing the subject. "Anay chance weh can get ah clothin'
hung up befoah Emma finishes suppah?"

Aria thought about that for a second. "Maybe we should have taken that second
bedroom after all," she replied.

"Ah didn' brin' that manay clothes," the blonde protested. "Onlay three
suitcases worth."

"Big suitcases," Aria pointed out.

"Hernia-inducing suitcases," Richie corrected.

"Yah weaklin's," Elaine shot back. "_Ah_ had no trouble liftin' them
whatsoevah."

"That's because _you_ have vampire enhanced strength," Richie countered.

"Richay!" the blonde protested. "Not among outsidahs!"

"Danny's still outside and Emma's in the kitchen, so relax, will ya?" Richie
replied.

"An' neithah of them have eahs?" Elaine asked, slapping the air next to
Richie's head. "Yah've been in the citay too long."

"Not ones that are that good," Richie answered, trying to bat her hand away.

"They ah when theah's no othah noise tah compete with us," Elaine returned,
ducking his hands and sneaking in a kiss.

Aria turned back around from where she was standing on the grand staircase.
"Are you two comin' or what?"

Richie and Elaine looked at each other. "Sneak attack?" Richie suggested.

"Sounds good," Elaine agreed.

The two rushed Aria and picked her up, Elaine by the feet and Richie by Aria's
midsection. Setting her on their shoulders, they headed up the stairs.

Aria started smacking at the both of them. "Put me down, ya daft gits!"

"Richay, which way?" Elaine asked, ignoring her.

"Um, top of the stairs, hang a right, go past the library, take a left, it's
the door all the way at the end of the hall," Richie answered.

"Right" Elaine nodded and led the way. Once there, she opened the door and they
went in, depositing Aria on the bed.

"I am going to hurt you two, you realize that don't you?" Aria asked them
calmly as she sat up.

"Yah could always try bitin' Richay's rear," Elaine suggested. "Ah know fah a
fact it's veray delectable."

"Don't remind me," Richie replied, wincing at the memory.

"An' yah haven' thrown meh ovah yah shouldah again, have yah?" the blonde
pointed out. "Besides, it's Aria's turn tah bite us now."

An extremely evil look proceed to cross Aria's face. "Oh it is now, is it?"

Elaine pushed Richie onto the bed, then joined them. "It is."

"Well, his rear may be good," Aria replied, "but I prefer his ear." She then
proceeded to prove her point.

"May Ah try?" Elaine asked, noticing the way Richie reacted.

"Go right ahead," Aria replied before flicking Richie's earlobe with her
tongue.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Richie asked, pretending to argue.

Aria and Elaine both looked at each other for a moment. "Nah," they answered
together.

Shoving Richie down on the bed, they got on either side of him and started
nibbling.

There was a knock on the door. Naturally.

"Um, Auntie?" Danny called through the door a few seconds later. "I've got your
bags out here."

"Ah suppose weh have tah let him in?" Elaine grumbled.

"If you want clothes we do," Aria replied. "And you know the rule, clothing in
public."

"Sah weh'll stay in heah the whole time," Elaine said, licking at Richie's
neck. "What do yah think, Kaltock?"

"Food," Richie replied. "I mean, Emma's almost as good a cook as you are 'Laine
and I gotta eat sometime."

"Yah thinkin' with the wrong part of the anatomay," Elaine pouted, lightly
punching him in the stomach. "A'right, Ari, yah can let him in."

"C'mon in, Danny," Aria called, "it's unlocked."

"You decent?" he asked, opening the door and peeking around it.

"It's okay, Danny," Aria answered. "Ya showed up before we got to the good
part."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the young man opened the door. "It's going to take
two trips, I'm afraid," he said, pushing a cart full of suitcases. "Wasn't
expectin' ya to have this much."

"See, I told you. You brought too much stuff," Richie teased Elaine.

"Perray didn' mind," the blonde shrugged. "Looked rathah cute carrayin' the
suitcases in his mouth."

"Only because he got the light one," Richie countered.

"Yah think that because it was the smallest," Elaine answered. "That was the
bag holding all mah notes."

"You mean this one?" Danny pointed to a suitcase. "Felt like the heaviest to
me."

"One of these days I'm buyin' you a computer," Aria sighed.

"Have one at each of mah houses," Elaine answered. "Ah'm not allowed tah use
them fah this."

"What kind of notes are these, if'n ya don't mind m'askin' that is?" Danny
asked.

"Medical research," she answered vaguely. "Mah ... superiahs take leaks _veray_
seriouslay. If they thought Ah was telling thin's Ah shouldn', yah wouldn' even
find mah ashes by the time they was done with meh."

Danny paled. "Maybe ya need to find a different job."

"Two problems," Elaine counted them off on her fingers. "A, there's onlay two
other people workin' in mah field an' neithah of them have anywheah neah mah
knowledge. An' B, Ah enjoy it too much, even though Ah'm generallay takin' a
break these days. Ah like knowin' things hardlay anyone else does."

"If ya

"Aria?" Elaine asked. "Do Ah put mah clothin' with yahs oh do Ah get mah own
wardrobe?"

"Depends on whether or not they'll think they'll fit," Aria replied.

"Um, the three biggest ah clothin', the othah two ah personal items," the
blonde answered. "An' mah work, which needs tah stay neah meh.

"The personal items I can find room for, don't know about the clothes," Aria
replied. "M'closet's over there, check it out for yourself."

Elaine got off the bed and went over to the closet, opening it. "Not bad," she
said. "Wheah's the rest of it?"

"Ha ha," Aria replied.

"Maybe Ah should have mah own closet," the blonde said, ignoring the sarcasm.
"Got anothah this big that's close by?"

"Only other walk-in on this side of the house is in Duncan's master suite all
the way at the other end of the hall," Aria answered.

For a moment Elaine thought about it, smiling devilishly, then shook her head.
"Too fah," she decided. "What about next door?"

"Right or left?" Aria asked.

"Whichevah's largah," the blonde shrugged.

"What about cutting out a door in the wall and turning the room we decide on
into Elaine's closet?" Richie suggested.

Aria shrugged. "It's a thought," she answered. "We'll have to talk to a
contractor about it though."

"Why?" he asked. "I helped Mac fix up Anne's house. I'm sure Danny and I could
handle this."

"Well, for starters I don't remember which one is the support wall," Danny
pointed out. "And I don't think Mum would appreciate it if'n I brought the
bloody roof down on her head."

"Yah have the blueprints around someplace, don' yah?" Elaine suggested. "Should
beh simple enough tah look up."

Aria pinched her nose and groaned. "Look, can we discuss this when I'm just a
wee bit less jet-lagged?" she asked. "Especially since I don't exactly remember
where I put the blasted things right now."

"You mean you didn't enjoy the flight?" Richie asked, putting his arm around
Aria's waist and pulling her back against him.

"Dannay, why don' yah just leave mah bags by the door," Elaine suggested. "Ah
cn always saht them out latah."

"Alright," Danny replied. "I'll be right back with the second batch then." He
left the bags behind and then headed back out.

"No hurray," Elaine called out to his fleeting figure, then returned to the
bed. "Now, wheah wah weh?"

"Heading to the kitchen to see what Emma put together," Richie answered.

"Feedin' yah stomach instead of mine?" the blonde teased. "Ah'll meet yah down
theah, then. Need tah powdah mah nose first." She kissed first Richie's, then
Aria's noses, and headed for the bathroom.



"I think I'm in trouble," Richie said, taking another bite of his hot roast
beef sandwich.

"Why?" Aria asked.

"Because Elaine's going to want to know if it was as good as her cooking," he
explained. "I say yes, no sex. I say no, Emma spikes my food the whole time
we're here."

"Why would she be upset if you said it was as good?" Aria asked.

"You know what she's like," Richie reminded her. "She'll be hurt."

"Guess you're on your own then, ducks," Aria replied with a shrug.

"On Richay's own abou' what?" Elaine asked, coming into the room and sitting in
the redhead's lap.

"Oh, he's afraid he'll royally piss ya off he admits to likin' Emma's cookin',"
Aria explained, going back to the pile of mail in front of her.

"Course Ah won' beh pissed," the blonde answered, toying with Richie's shirt.
"Just as long as he doesn' like Emma's cookin' _bettah_ then mine."

"Of course, I don't like it better," Richie replied nervously.

Aria tossed a piece of junk mail into the trash can beside her and picked up
another envelope. "I think 'as well as' were his exact words," she said.

Richie shot her a dirty look. "You're just _so_ not helping," he replied
sarcastically.

"Maybeh Ah should make Emma spike yah food then," Elaine threatened, nipping at
Richie's nose.

"You were eavesdropping again," Richie mock-scolded.

"Course Ah was," the blonde smiled. "How else do yah think Ah managed tah find
mah way heah?"

"Why do you do this to me?" Richie sighed.

"Because it's fun. An' because yah tend tah fahget what Ah am," she answered.
"Richay, Ah always keep an ear on yahself an' Aria. Didn' yah know that?"

"Guess I forgot that, too," Richie replied with a touch of pout in his voice.

"That's all right," Elaine slowly kissed him. "Weh didn' fall in love with yah
for yah memoray."

Aria tossed a bill onto another pile and then picked up yet another envelope.
"Right, that's m'job," she answered. "You're the one who's supposed to sit
there and look cute."

"So what's Elaine for," Richie asked her. "Besides death by boon-ga?"

"To sit there and look drop dead gorgeous," Aria answered. "You guys are the
looks in this relationship, I got the brains." Then she picked up yet another
bill. "And the headaches."

Elaine left Richie and moved over to her other lover. "Anything weh can help
with?" she asked.

Aria shook her head. "Just the usual mumbo jumbo that builds up when I'm away,"
she answered.

"Can' yah hire someone tah weed out the junk sah yah onlay have tah deal with
the important stuff?" Elaine suggested.

"That's part of Emma's job," Aria answered. "But she leaves me a few things for
when she knows I'm comin' home."

"Just sah yah know yah loved?" the blonde teased.

"More like to make me feel like I actually have some say around here so I won't
catch on to her usurpin' m'power," Aria replied. "Either that or to try and
tempt me to come here more often, I haven't figured out which yet."

"Can' yah do it latah?" Elaine asked. "When you're in a better mood or
something?"

"I prefer not to let it build up," Aria answered. "If I get it done now, then
it's finished and I can enjoy m'trip more."

"A'right." Pouting, Elaine returned to Richie. "So what's theah tah do around
here, in the few hours left until dawn?"

"Well, there's always Ari's video game collection," Richie teased.

"Ain' nevah played a videah game befoah," the blonde mused.

Richie shrugged, deciding to just go with the flow. After all, it was much more
fun when Aria felt like playing too and that wasn't going to happen for at
least another hour. "Actually, with your reflexes, you should be a natural," he
replied.

"Lead the way then," Elaine agreed.

"Try not to make a mess," Aria replied absently as they headed upstairs.

"We'll be sure to clean up the blood after killing Danny and Maggie," Richie
assured her.

"Have fun," Aria said, reaching for another envelope.



"Dammit, Elaine! You just killed me. Again," Richie complained, tossing down
his controller.

"Sorray," Elaine said, squinting at the screen. "Yah sure that wasn' anothah of
them Martians?"

"Positive," Richie replied. "I'm the one in the red, remember?"

Elaine sighed and put down her own controller next to Richie's. "Richay, most
thin's ah red tah meh. Weh'ah colah-blind, remembah?"

Richie sighed. "Maybe we should try another game."

"Actuallay, Ah have a bettah ideah," Elaine said, moving over closer to Richie.
"It's gettin' close tah mah bedtime anayway, so why don' weh move the game
theah?" She unbuttoned his shirt, pausing long enough to kiss him.

"Ahem."

"'Bout time yah joined us," Elaine said, rolling over and looking at the figure
in the doorway. "Weh was just about tah head fah bed without yah."

"Uh-huh," Aria replied. "And how'd ya do?"

Elaine went over to Aria and pulled her into the room and onto the floor.
"Rathah go tah bed," she said.

"That bad, huh?" Aria replied. "Oh well, they're just games, love."

"Which yah'd think Ah'd beh good at, all thin's considered," the blonde shot
back. "Haven' done this badlay since Ah was eight."

Aria shrugged. "You're probably just faster than the system," she replied.
"You're just too brilliant for you own good."

"She killed me five times because she's too brilliant?" Richie asked.

"Yep," Aria answered, shooting him a "you wanna argue with that?" look.

"Of course, why didn't I think of that," he immediately agreed. "You wanna try
a round?"

"I would, but 'Laine here seems to be gettin' bored," Aria replied.

"It's bed time," Elaine reminded her. "Ah'm Hungry."

"See?" Aria replied. 

"Then perhaps we should head for bed," Richie suggested, smiling at his two
lovers.

"Ah thought yah'd nevah ask," Elaine said, rolling over and curling up against
him.

"Looks like you're gonna have to carry her," Aria laughed.

"An' tomorrah, Shalla an' Ah carray Richay," Elaine agreed.

"Works for me," Richie replied with a wicked grin.

"Then get carrayin'," the blonde ordered.

"Okay." Richie stood up, grabbed Elaine, and threw her over his shoulder.

"Shalla, would yah please fetch meh some salt an' peppah," Elaine requested.
"Ah have meh a hindquartahs that need seasonin'."

Richie proceeded to flip her over so that she was now facing out instead of
towards his backside. "Wanna rephrase that, toots?"

Elaine kicked him in the chest. Hard. "Wanna think that again, _bud_?"

"OOF!" Richie stumbled, nearly dropping her. "Do that again and I _will_ drop
you on your head," he wheezed.

"Keep carrayin' meh this way an' you won't _have_ a head," she threatened.

Richie turned her around again, this time placing her against his chest with
her legs draped over his arms. "We have _got_ to work on your sense of humor,
'Laine," he replied.

"Wasn' meh," Elaine answered, shaking her head. "Didn' say that."

"Okay, then we need to work on _their_ senses of humor," Richie amended.

"She don' have no sense of humah," she answered. "Don' like hah. Mean."

"Ah, but we got you back, and that's all that matters to me," Richie replied
with a smile.

"Ah love yah, too." Elaine gave Richie a quick kiss. "How abou' puttin' meh on
the bed, now that yah carrayin' meh propah?"

"'Kay." Richie proceeded to drop her straight on to the bed. "Gotcha!"

Elaine kicked Richie's knees out and pulled on his arms so the young immortal
fell on top of her. She then flipped him over and climbed on top. "Theah. Much
bettah. Except weh'ah missin' Ari."

"Oh, Ida know," Aria replied. "It looked like ya'll were doin' quite fine
without me a minute ago."

"Here that, Richaya?" Elaine said, turning to her lover. "She thinks weh don'
need hah, she does."

"Then we'll just have to do something about that." Putting Elaine to one side,
Richie got up, went over to Aria and threw _her_ over his shoulder. "There.
How's that."

"Much bettah." Elaine laughed and smiled at them.

Aria grabbed Richie's belt and started rocking back and forth.

"Ari, what the hell are you doing?" Richie asked.

"THIS!" Once she had enough momentum worked up, Aria yanked, causing Richie to
fall forward. She fell on the bed, but he kept going until he fell flat on his
back on the floor.

"And that, m'love, is how you get out of that," Aria replied.

"Awwww, but that's cheatin'," Elaine pouted.

"I think ... I prefer Elaine biting me," Richie said slowly. "That ... didn't
hurt ... quite this much."

"Ah think yah hurt him," Elaine commented to Aria. "Ah heard three ribs
crackin' when he landed."

"Maybe we should move him to the bed," Aria suggested.

"It is his turn," Elaine agreed.

They both got up and gently helped Richie to his feet.

"Thanks." Richie said. He then pushed the two women onto the bed and jumped
after them.

"Somebody sure heals fast," Aria teased.

"Considering the way you two keep trying to wear me out, I'd think you'd be
grateful for it," he shot back.

"Aye, well, if that's the way you feel, maybe we should just go entertain
ourselves for a wee bit then, hmm?" Aria countered.

Richie pulled Aria on top of him so she was straddling his hips. "I said
_trying_ to wear me out, not wearing me out."

"That teenage libido thing again, huh?" Aria teased.

"And you love it, admit it," he returned.

"Nope," Aria replied. "I just love you."

"So it's okay if Elaine and I make passionate love and leave you out then,
huh?" the redhead taunted.

"That's what ya did on the plane," Aria shot back.

"An' weh made up for it aftahwards, too," Elaine reminded her. "Plus some."

"Sure that wasn't just 'cause I caught ya?" Aria teased.

"Weh didn' get caught. Weh was tryin' tah give yah a show," Elaine corrected.
"Didn' yah like it?"

"Of course I like it," Aria replied. "Just not when I'm tryin' to sleep."

Elaine pulled Aria's head over for a kiss. "Then it's yah fault weh was at it,
because if yah hadn' been sleepin', Ah wouldn' have been sah bored."

"Maybe next time we need to get ya a better in-flight movie," Aria teased with
a wink.

"Like what? 'Debbie Does Dallas'?" Elaine snorted. "Ah've seen those movies.
Eithah Ah've done it, an' bettah, oh it's sah unreal, it's no fun."

"Tweren't exactly what I meant there, love," Aria replied.

"Then what?" the blonde ask, pulling Aria's shirt out of her pants. "Somethin'
like this?"

"It's a step in the right direction," Aria answered.

"Speaking of direction, maybe I should go ask Danny if I can borrow his video
camera," Richie teased. "I mean, we were talking in-flight movies here after
all."

"Great Mother, I didn't realize I threw him _that_ hard," Aria replied. "I
really must have done some serious brain damage if he honestly thinks he's got
a snowball's chance in hell of that one goin' over."

"Ah wouldn' mind, if it weren' fah what _They_ would do if They found out about
the tape," Elaine shrugged. "In which case, They'd kill everyone on the
estate."

"Hey, I'd erase the tape," Richie replied.

"Yeah, right," Aria shot back.

"Still wouldn' work. Yah'd beh amazed how easilay an erased tape can beh un-
erased," Elaine pointed out. "Besides, one of us would have tah hold the
camera, an' where's the fun in that?"

"Yeah, I guess you've got a point there," Richie replied.

"Reallay?" Elaine teased. "An' here Ah thought...."

"You were the one with the point," Aria finished. Then she stuck her hand down
Richie's pants. "Oh yeah, there it is."

"Can I see?" Elaine asked.

Richie grabbed his two lovers and then proceeded to spend the rest of the
morning showing them both his point.



"Evenin', Emma," Elaine said from the kitchen door. "Anaythin' Ah cn do tah
help?"

"That's quite alright, Miss Elaine," Emma replied, "I've got everythin' under
control here."

"Oh, but Ah insist," the blonde said, entering the room. "Please, it'd beh mah
pleasure."

"Don't worry yourself, Miss Elaine," Emma repeated. "You're a guest here,
you're not expected to help out."

"But if Ah'm a guest, then Ah'm allowed tah do what Ah want, an' that's helpin'
yahself," Elaine pointed out. "'Sides, it's not like Ah have anaythin' else tah
do around here an' that was part of the reason Ah came, fah somethin' tah do." 

"Well, Mistress Aria is in her study and I believe Master Richie is in the
library, perhaps one of them can help ya," Emma suggested.

"They'ah both busay," Elaine answered, frowning. "Is it all right if Ah go take
a walk?"

"You don't need m'permission to do that, Miss Elaine," Emma replied, confused.

Instead of answering, Elaine shrugged, opened the kitchen door and left.



A short time later, Richie appeared. "Emma, you seen Elaine? I can't find her
in the house."

"She's out takin' a walk around the grounds, Master Richie," Emma answered, not
looking up from her pot.

"Thanks." Richie headed for the door, then stopped. "Was she okay?"

That made Emma look up. "What do you mean, Master Richie?"

"Elaine tends to get these ... mood swings," he explained vaguely. "She's so
worried about you not liking her that I was afraid she might have slipped into
one."

"She seemed quiet, but that's about it," Emma replied. "Although I did find it
a wee bit odd that she asked m'permission to go for a walk."

"Quiet, huh?" Richie thought it over. "She say anything else while she was
here?"

"She asked if she could give me a hand," Emma replied. "That was awful nice of
her, of course, but you know it's just not proper."

"Damn!" Richie swore under his breath. "Emma, it's more than just Elaine being
nice. Did I ever tell you what happened the first time she came over to my
place? She spent the entire night doing my dishes. It's important to her for
some reason."

"Important or not, it's not proper," Emma replied. "I wasn't much older than
you are now when I started taking care of Mistress Aria's home, and I have
always done it my way. And _nothin'_ is goin' to change that, do we have an
understandin', Master Richie?"

"Even if it means driving Elaine away?" Richie asked quietly.

"Forgive me for outsteppin' m'place, Master Richie," Emma began, "but just
_what_ have you gotten Aria into?"

Richie ran his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out  how much to say.
"Elaine ... has a lot of problems," he finally said. "It's not something she
can help, she had a rough life before she found me. Aria and I are trying to
help, but it's not easy, you know? And it's not like she can go to a shrink or
any of that. I know it's your kitchen, but if you could just bend the rules a
little? Just this once?"

"But it's not proper!" Emma protested again. "The master and the mistress of
the manor and their guests are not supposed to do things like that. It's not
that it's m'kitchen. It just wouldn't be right for her to be doing that sort of
thing. That's what I'm here for."

"But Elaine doesn't understand that," Richie explained patiently. "All she
knows is that she wants you to like her and you're sending her away. You really
want that?"

"It's not m'place to comment on Mistress Aria's relationships," Emma replied
pointedly.

"But you're still worried about what kind of person Elaine is and I don't blame
you," Richie continued for her. "You don't know a thing about her and now I'm
telling you she's nuts. But have you ever known Aria to screw up?"

"I canna speak on what she does when I'm not around," Emma answered.

"But you can for when she's here," he quickly pointed out. "And she's always
done her best to take care of Anda Savan, hasn't she?"

"I canna speak on the years before I came here," Emma countered.

"What? And you only came here last week?" Richie counter-countered. "Emma,
you've been here longer than I've been alive."

"And Mistress Aria's been here longer than the both of us put together," Emma
reminded him.

"Exactly my point," Richie said, seizing the opportunity. "And with all that
experience, do you really think she'd fall for a bad person?"

"Stranger things have happened," Emma replied.

"Yeah, like three people falling in love and becoming totally devoted to each
other," he answered. "And Elaine wasn't the one keeping secrets there, I was."

"Oh don't be worrin' about that one, Master Richie," Emma replied rather
pointedly. "I know exactly who to blame on that one."

"Then why are you blaming Elaine for my mistake?" Richie asked.

"I'm not," Emma answered coolly. "But as I said before, it's not really m'place
to comment on Mistress Aria's relationships."

"And I'm not asking you to comment of Mistress Aria's relationships," Richie
reminded her. "I'm asking you to go a little easy on Elaine. Five to one, she
out there somewhere thinking you hate her."

"How can I hate her? I barely know the wee thing," Emma pointed out.

"That's the way Elaine thinks at times," he shrugged. "If you don't love her,
you must hate her. At least until you can straighten her out."

"And all this is truly supposed to make me feel better about the whole
situation?" Emma replied with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Not really," Richie admitted. "Mostly I just want you to give her a break."

"I still don't think a guest doing chores is proper," Emma said.

"Then don't think of her as a guest," he suggested. "Elaine doesn't really like
it anyway."

"But it's not proper for the friends of the mistress of the manor to do chores
either," Emma countered. "Or are you now gonna tell me she's not Mistress
Aria's friend."

"No, they're definitely ... friends." Richie paused to remember the last time
they were 'friendly' and smiled. "It's just ... Elaine thinks it's just as
improper for her _not_ to do chores. Unless she's not part of the family."

"I'll think about it," Emma finally replied reluctantly.

"Thanks," Richie said with relief. Surprising Emma with a kiss on the forehead,
he then went outside to find Elaine.



After a few minutes of searching, Richie discovered a light coming out of the
horse barn. Since it wasn't bright enough to do any good for mortal eyes, he
headed for it, hoping Elaine was in there.

Once he reached the stables, he stuck his head in and tried to look around.
"Elaine?" he called.

"Ovah here," the blonde's voice came from one corner. "Ah think he likes meh."

Richie turned the corner and spotted Elaine petting one of the few stallions in
the barn. "He's letting you pet him?"

"Don' tell meh yah believe that old myth abou' vampiahs scarin' horses," Elaine
chastised. "Horses aren' bright enough tah sense us, believe meh. Unless they
smell blood, but most of us ah more fastidious then that."

"Actually I meant 'cause he's a stallion," Richie replied. "Danny says this one
in particular has a bit of a temper. They mainly just breed him because of his
height and his build."

"This pussaycat?" Elaine blew the horse a kiss. "Had tah growl at him a little
when weh first met, but othah then that he's been a real sweetheart." She
paused again for a scratch behind the ear. "Yah know, Lucien's been breedin'
horses for centurays, mainlay fah night vision. Think Ari'd like some new
stock?"

"The horses aren't Aria's, they're Danny's," Richie answered. "You'd have to
ask him."

"Oh." Elaine removed her hand from the stallion. "Nevah mind then."

"Why?" Richie asked. "Danny might be willing to give you a shot and he
obviously likes you."

"Dannay likes meh a little too much," she said. "Plus Ah'd have tah explain why
these horses are sah special."

"He might be a little more accepting than you think," Richie pointed out.
"After all, Maggie didn't have any trouble with what you are."
 
"An' have him run off tah Mama?" Elaine countered. "She alreaday hates meh
enough as it is."

"She doesn't hate you, Elaine," Richie answered. "She's just looking out for
Aria. Once she gets to know you better she'll love you just as much as the rest
of us, I'm sure of it. Besides, the kitchen thing is just Emma. She can be
really too proper, ya know?"

"Richay, Ah'm old enough tah know when Ah see an' smell hatred," she reminded
him. "An' even if it weren' fah Emma, Ah don' belong here. There ain' nothin'
fah meh tah do."

"Elaine, she doesn't hate you," Richie replied again. "She told me so herself.
And as for that, you could always go play in the library. Aria would be
thrilled to have you check out some of her histories and learning texts."

"Don' want historays oh learnin' texts," Elaine pouted. "Wanna play."

"What do you want to play?" Richie asked.

Elaine thought it over. The hay loft was tempting, but.... "A hunt," she
decided. "Ah want a hunt."

"A hunt?" Richie repeated.

"Yeah." Elaine grabbed Richie's shirt playfully. "Yah get a ten minute head
start, no comin' back tah the barn oh goin' intah the house."

"Got a better idea," Richie replied, kissing her passionately. "How'd you like
a _real_ hunt?"

"What kind of a hunt?" she asked, moving her arms to his neck and wrapping a
leg around Richie's thigh.

"A real hunt," Richie repeated. "See, I don't know my way around here very well
yet. I'm liable to run into a tree or twist my ankle over a tree root or
something and kind of take myself out before you get me. But _Aria_ grew up
around here and has lived here on and off for all her immortal life. She could
give you a real run for your money, if you're interested."

"It has possibilitays," Elaine said, running over the idea in her head. "Yah go
fetch Shalla?"

"I'll even try and talk her into her leathers," Richie promised.

"Mmmm. Keep sayin' that an' Ah may end up killin' yah befoah yah cn go," she
answered, swaying against him.

"Then I guess you better let go so I can go find her, huh?" Richie
teased.

"Oh Ah could kill yah an' then let yah go find hah," Elaine whispered, nipping
at his nose.

"Then you'd have to wait longer for your hunt," Richie smirked.

"But yah look sah delicious," she pouted. "Promise to run?"

"Cross my heart and hope to live," Richie teased. He gave her one last kiss,
untangled himself from her grasp, and then proceeded to head back to the house.
 
 

A few days after her talk with Richie, Emma came downstairs to fix breakfast
and found Elaine in the kitchen. The petite blonde was just walking through the
door and carrying a large box.

"Good mornin', Miss Elaine," she greeted her, all chipper and smiles. "Nice to
see you up so bright and early this fine mornin'."

Elaine glared at her. Morning had never been the blonde's favorite time of day
and she liked morning people even less. Still, manners were manners. "Who's
up?" she asked. "Ah still haven' gone tah bed yet."

That was obvious from the way Elaine was, or rather wasn't, dressed. It was a
lot ... wilder than anything Emma had seen her in before. The whole outfit
consisted of a skirt short enough that Emma had to wonder how on earth Elaine
sat down in it, a piece of lingerie that should never been seen outside of a
bedroom, a rose vine tattoo entwining down her left arm, and not much more. The
poor dear was going to catch her death of a cold, if she didn't die of
embarrassment first.

In sharp contrast, Emma was very prim and proper with a freshly starched and
pressed apron and her hair in a bun with not a strand out of place.

Emma pursed her lips in thought, but refrained from commenting. "What's in the
box?" she asked instead.

"Red wine," the blonde answered. "It's a gift from some friends."

"You could put it in the mistress' wine cellar if ya'd like," Emma pointed out.

"Ah was ... hopin' tah keep them in the bedroom," Elaine said, setting the box
on the counter and taking one out.

"Whatever for?" Emma asked, confused. "It would keep much better in the
cellar."

"It nevah lasts that long," the blonde shrugged. "May Ah borrah a corkscrew?"

"House rule, it goes in the cellar," Emma replied. "But the corkscrew's in the
drawer behind ya there."

Elaine opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. "Yes, ma'am," she said instead.
"Theah a glass Ah can use?"

"In the cupboard, Miss Elaine," Emma answered. Then she picked up the box. "Be
a dear and watch breakfast for me while I take this downstairs, hmm?"

"A'right." Elaine burst into a big grin and walked over to the stove. Then she
quickly found the corkscrew and a glass and opened up the bottle, pouring
herself a drink. "Much bettah," she said, after emptying it.

Emma held her tongue as she headed down to the wine cellar. After all, her
husband had done stranger things in the search for a hangover cure.

"Sah what's fah breakfast?" Elaine asked when she returned. Another glass of
the wine was sitting next to the stove, Emma noticed.

Emma went back over to the stove. "Oh, eggs and biscuits and some nice garlic
sausage for Danny, Maggie, and Master Richie," she answered. "It's one of his
favorites and I never have been able to resist a young man with a good
appetite."

Somehow, Elaine managed to turn a shade paler than normal. "_Garlic_ sausages?
Ah think Ah'll skip breakfast, if yah don' mind." Picking up the glass, she
took a long swallow. 

**I think I better be havin' a talk with Mistress Aria about this woman's
drinkin',** Emma thought, raising an eyebrow.

But before Emma had a chance to comment, the other woman brightened and
finished her glass. "Richay an' Aria ah up," she announced. 

Elaine washed out her glass and set it upside down on the counter, just as the
two immortals entered the kitchen. "Mornin', y'all." She went over and kissed
them both on the cheek. "Ah'm goin' up tah bed. See you this evening. An' by
the way," she added, looking pointedly at Richie, "if eithah of yah sah much as
touches those sausages, Ah don' touch yah fah a week. Girl's got tah protect
hah stomach, yah know."

That said, the blonde disappeared up the stairs.

Richie looked at Aria. "What the heck was that all about?"

"I don't know," Aria shrugged. "But somethin' tells me we best be watchin' our
breakfasts."



That evening, Emma was running around the kitchen, constantly examining the
controlled chaos that would become dinner. She was making pasta that night, and
the sauce still didn't taste right.

She added a little salt, stirred, and tasted it again. **Ack, it's still
missin' somethin',** she sighed mentally. **Perhaps a splash of red wine is all
she needs, hmm?**

Emma started to go down to the wine cellar, then remembered the bottle of
Elaine's wine she had found in the refrigerator. **Well, you're not supposed to
refrigerate red wine, but it beats draggin' m'tired self all the way down to
the basement. And I'm sure Miss Elaine won't mind if I borrow a wee dab.** She
opened the refrigerator and took out the bottle.

**Perhaps I better taste it, just to make sure the cold hasn't ruined it.
Wouldn't want to destroy m'sauce, too, now, would I?** Emma opened the bottle,
got a glass out of the cupboard, and poured a little of the wine into the
glass. She held the glass up to her nose and sniffed. **Such an odd smell.**
She took a sip, and then spat it clear across the kitchen.

"MISTRESS ARIA!"

The others came running into the room at Emma's scream.

"Emma, what's wrong?" Aria asked.

Emma shook the bottle at them. "It's blood!" she bellowed. "This damn bottle is
full of blood!"

"Oh shit," Richie sighed as he slipped into a chair at the table.

"Blood?" Danny repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Aria dropped into the chair next to Richie. "I knew we should have gotten a
small refrigerator for the bedroom," she sighed.

"Wasn't time, remember?" Richie answered. "Besides, we also would've needed a
micro to get it back up to room temp."

"Mum, I assure ya there's a logical explanation for this," Maggie said, trying
to calm her mother down.

"Logic explanation?!" Emma snapped. "Logical explanation, my arse! I won't
stand for this! I've overlooked Mistress Aria's pagan ways, because she's a
good and kind person, but I won't be havin' this sort of thing!"

A very irate Elaine suddenly appeared behind Emma. Bad enough she had been
woken out of a sound sleep. Worse, it had been done by shouting loud enough to
wake the dead. But this ... this _person_ was waving her bottle around like it
was ribena! She knew Emma was important to Richie and Aria, but this was
putting the blonde into just the right mood to kill someone.

"An' Ah would appreciate it if yah'd leave mah breakfast alone," she said.
"That particulah vintage is from a thirtay yeah old male virgin an' not veray
easay tah come by anaymore." Elaine grabbed the bottle from Emma hand and took
a long drink from it. It put her in a slightly better mood.

Emma, on the other hand, was totally disgusted. "Mistress Aria, I know this is
not my place, but I refuse to stay under the same roof with that. Either that
... that _witch_ goes, or I do!

"Ah am _not_ a witch," Elaine corrected. "Soulless, Ah'll grant yah. Ah'll even
throw in damned fah all eternitay, though Ah have yet tah beh convinced of
eithah. But Ah am _not_ a witch. An' Ah'll beh glad tah leave as soon as it
gets dark. Ah may even take _Dannay_ with meh."

Aria stood, slamming her hands down on the table. "Will the two of you knock it
the bloody hell off?! Elaine, nobody's goin' anywhere, and that includes you,
Danny, and Emma. Emma, I know you're concerned, but there's a very simple
explanation to all of this, and it's not what you're thinkin'. Elaine is not a
Satanist or some such thin'. She's just a vampire. That's all."

"A vampire? She's a blasted vampire?" Emma replied. "Oh, what a relief. You
wouldn't believe the thin's that were goin' through m'mind, Mistress Aria. But
a vampire I can live with. Just as long as Miss Elaine here remembers that I
make the midnight snacks, I am _not_ a midnight snack. An' neither is m'son."

"A vampiah's a relief?" Elaine repeated, astonished. "Emma, Ah wish yah'd have
been in the village when Mama died. Yah might have prevented a whole lot of
trouble. Course, yah might have ended up dead, jus' as easilay. An' don' worray
abou' yahself oh Dannay. If Ah want a bit of varietay, Ah'll head fah London.
That's part of what Ah was doin' last night befoah Ah came in this mornin'."

Richie and Aria shared a glance. This was more than Elaine had ever said about
her mother before. Beyond the fact that she had one.

Emma smiled, much more warmly than any she had given in the previous few days.
"Believe me, Miss Elaine, when you've heard as many of Mistress Aria's horror
stories as I have, a vampire begins to look pretty bloody normal," she laughed.
"I may be old fashioned, but that doesn't mean I buy into all that superstition
rubbish. Besides, I know Mistress Aria and she never would have let you into
her life if you were the monster type."

Elaine smiled in return. She was beginning to like Emma. "Well now, now that
that's all settled, does anayone mind if Ah get dressed? It's late enough Ah
might as well stay up."

For the first time, everyone noticed Elaine's clothing. Or rather, lack of
them. To her credit, the blonde _had_ managed to remember to put on her robe.
But she hadn't done a very good job of tying it.

Emma humphed in what everyone called her "mother tone". "Aye, please do cover
yourself, Miss Elaine," she said. "We may be family, but it's not proper for a
young lady to be runnin' around half dressed in mixed company. Ya don't want to
be givin' somebody the wrong idea about ya now, dearie. Pretty little thing
like you has to be careful these days, vampire or not."

Richie and Aria braced themselves for another fight. It was way too soon for
Elaine to have settled down completely, and she was not a person to take
criticism kindly. 

Instead, the blonde went ... meek.

"Yes, ma'am," was all she said.

"And while we're on the subject," Emma continued, totally missing what had just
happened, "what was with that tattoo this mornin'?"

"Oh, that?" Elaine looked down at her left arm. "A couple of friends Ah hadn'
seen in ages had just flown in an' someone suggested it. Seemed like a good
ideah at the time. But it's all gone now, see?" She held up her left arm. Sure
enough, the tattoo had vanished.

"That's why Joe nevah made meh get one," she continued. "They nevah last more
then a night."

"What do you mean, didn't make you get one?" Maggie asked, confused. "I thought
I knew all the Watchers in m'territory."

The vampire shifted from foot to foot. "Ah'm ... sort of ... Richay's Watchah."

"Oh, ain't this the funniest thing?" Maggie snorted. "Goes on and on about how
much she hates us poor little Watchers when she's been one of us all along.
Talk about the pot callin' the kettle."

"Ah onlay do it as a favah tah Joe," Elaine said defensively. "It keeps him
from havin' to break in a new one every time Ah catch one of yah. No offense,
Maggay, but weh do tend tah beh a paranoid lot. Comes from bein' chased by
people with wooden sticks too manay times."

"Well, ya could have at least told me," Maggie snorted. "Do you realize how
many times I could have just taken the bloody night off and let you handle
things? You're in the bloody well middle of it, and I do get tired of these
things sometimes. There's only so much of your makin' out I can take. And I
would like to have a life sometimes, ya know."

"Maggie, hon, I think we get the point," Aria laughed.

Maggie just let out another indignant humph.

"Mah deah, Ah don' want tah do it at all," Elaine told her. "Unfortunatelay,
weh have a rathah strict Code abou' certain thin's an' it's more then mah ass
is worth if the wron' thin' shows up in those damn Files of yahs."

"But," she continued, smiling softly. "Ah suppose Ah could take ovah the night
shift if yah promise not tah tell anayone about meh doing this."

"Doin' what?" Maggie asked, innocently.

"Bright gahl," Elaine answered.



Emma rolled over and glanced at the clock. **Three-thirty in the bloody mornin'
and I'm still wide awake,** she sighed. **Old age is not what it's cracked up
to be.** She finally gave up and got out of bed. "Maybe a glass of warm milk is
all I need. And if that fails, a glass of warm milk with a shot of brandy in
it." She put her robe on, cinched it tight around her waist, and headed down to
the kitchen.

She was a few feet from her destination when she heard noises coming from the
kitchen. Worried that it might be a burglar, she grabbed a vase off the table
next to her and started quietly sneaking up to the kitchen door.

"Evenin', Emma," Elaine's voice came from the kitchen.

Emma peered around the door. Elaine was hovering a few feet off the floor,
searching through the cupboards.

"Sorray Ah didn' ask befoah invadin' yah kitchen like this, but yah wah
sleepin' an' Ah didn' want tah wake yah. A-ha! Found it!" Elaine pulled a
bottle of vinegar out of the cupboard and lowered herself to the ground.
Setting it on the counter, she then looked at Emma. "Ah jus' had a hankerin'
tah do some bakin' tonight, an' Ah've been dyin' tah try out yah stove evah
since Ah first laid eyes on it, sah Ah decided tah make some cookies. Onlay Ah
guess Ah've blown that, haven' Ah? Ah'll put everythin' back now."

The whole time she had been speaking, Elaine's voice had gotten smaller and
smaller. That and the way she was dressed, black leather hot pants and a
crimson silk blouse knotted below the breasts, sort of a vampire version of
Daisy Duke, made her resemble nothing so much as a little girl.

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about it, Miss Elaine," Emma said as
she walked into the room. "Truth be told, I only say what I do about m'kitchen
to keep the others out of it. Danny makes too much of a mess and Maggie and
Mistress Aria just get in m'way."

Elaine smiled. "Yeah, Ah've seen what Aria calls cookin'," she laughed. "Worse,
Ah've tasted it. Even second hand, it's enough tah give a girl heartburn."

"Actually, it's not so much her lack of talent as it is her over-eagerness to
help," Emma replied. "She doesn't like lettin' anyone do anythin' for her and
it makes it bloody well impossible to do m'job." She put the vase down on the
counter and sat at the table.

"Ain' that the truth. Yah know, Ah can always tell when Ari's been in the
kitchen. _Nothin's_ in its propah place. Ah'm tryin' tah teach hah tah put
thin's back wheah she finds them, but every time it starts workin' its way
through hah head, Ah get called away an' have tah start all ovah again when Ah
get back."

Elaine looked at the ingredients on the counter. "Let's see, that's buttah, an
egg, sugah, flour, gingah, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, allspice, soda, bakin'
powdah, salt, molasses an' vinegah. What am Ah missin'? The watah." Elaine
grabbed the tea kettle from on top of the stove, filled it and put it back.
"Emma, wheah do yah keep yah mixin' bowls?" she asked, turning the stove on.

"Third cupboard from the left," Emma answered. "Interestin' mix of ingredients
ya got there' Miss Elaine. What kind of cookies are yah makin'?"

"It's an old recipe Mammay taught meh." Elaine found a bowl and dumped the
butter and sugar in it. "Jimmay used tah call them cow chips. Horrible name,
but yah know what little boys ah like. Ah imagine Dannay came up with quite a
few hair-splittahs when he was youngah. Wooden spoon?"

"Mixer's on the right," Emma pointed out.

"Don't need one," Elaine shrugged. "Ah've found Ah cn do it fastah by hand."

"Third drawer from the left then, love. So did your mum not cook or was she not
around long enough to teach ya? If'n ya don't mind m'askin', that is."

"Thanks." Elaine got the spoon and began blending the butter and sugar. Soon
her hand was moving so fast, all that could be seen was a blur. "Mammay raised
meh. She'd been Papa's Mammay, too, onlay he couldn' take hah with him when he
went tah college, sah he sold hah tah a friend of his. Onlay that put hah way
down on the peckin' order, being the new slave an' all, sah she was right glad
when Papa bought hah back fah mah fourth birthday." Elaine paused to add the
egg, molasses, and vinegar, then returned to stirring. "Now _theah_ was an odd
situation fah yah. Papa ran part of the Railroad, Mammay helped, an' she
_still_ wouldn' let eithah of us free hah. Said some people jus' weren' cut out
fah thinkin' fah themselves. Personallay, Ah think she just liked bossin' Papa
'n' meh around."

Elaine looked at the bowl and set it on the counter. "An' that's all Ah cn do
until the watah boils. Cn Ah get yah anaythin', Emma? A glass of warm milk,
perhaps?"

"That would be absolutely lovely, Miss Elaine. Thank you."

Elaine opened the refrigerator and got out a bottle of milk. "Ah noticed it was
a little past yah bed time. Couldn' sleep?" Searching the cupboards, she found
a pot and poured the milk into it. Then she set the pot on the stove and turned
on the burner.

"Ah must say," she continued, taking a wire whisk from where she had found the
spoon and stirring the milk. "It's veray nice tah taste real milk again.
Everythin' is sah full of chemicals these days it's a wondah people don' glow
in the dark."

"How can ya taste anythin'?" Emma raised an eyebrow at Elaine's remark. "I
thought you said you couldn't eat."

The look Elaine shot her was one of the _wickedest_ Emma had seen in a long
time. Not evil, just full of mischief. "Ah don'. But Richay an' Ari do. An'
Ah'm sure yah've noticed one oh the othah of them tends tah disappeah with meh
aftah one of yah wondahful suppahs."

"I had been gettin' around to wonderin' about that," Emma admitted.

"Ah've found that if Ah drink someone's blood right aftah they've eaten, Ah can
taste their meal," Elaine explained. "That's why Ah warned Richay off those
sausages this mornin'. Yah wouldn' believe the numbah garlic does on meh."

Elaine paused to check the milk. "Emma? Yah might want tah come ovah here.
Richay an' Ari'll tell yah, Ah have a problem tellin' when somethin's too hot.
Lord knows Ah've burned both of them more times then Ah care tah remembah. But
at least they heal right away. Yah won'."

Emma went over to Elaine and gingerly stuck her finger into the pot. "Just
about perfect," she proclaimed.

"Wondahful!" Elaine smiled. "Cup?"

Emma went over and got her favorite mug out of the cupboard.

"'Cooks like it hot an' well done?'" she read off, pouring the milk into it.
"Emma, Ah didn' know yah had it in yah."

Emma shrugged. "Present from m'late husband. Maggie inherited his sense of
humor."

"Sounds like yah husband was bettah then mine," Elaine noted. "In the second
half of the marriage, anayway."

"Aye, m'Edward was a real prize," Emma smiled. "I take it your dearly departed
wasn't?"

"Oh, Reese was a prize, a'right. Jus' not in the way yah mean." The teakettle
whistled, prompting Elaine to turn off the stove. Picking up the kettle, she
poured some of the water into the mixing bowl, just enough to soften the
molasses. "Fah startahs, the onlay reason Ah married him was because Ah was
three months pregnant, an' without a boyfriend in sight."

"Yes, I can see how that would be a bit of a sticky wicket." 

More stirring. "Bein' pregnant wasn' sah bad," Elaine said. "Ah knew several
girls who had rathah large premature babays. An' as long as Ah pretended tah
beh a widow, which in a way Ah was, no one raised an eyebrow. Mah problem was
that Ah didn' have anay means of supportin' myself, besides mah fathah."

"Also understandable." Emma took a sip from her mug.

"Sah yah cn understand when this man Ah hardlay knew informed meh he was
lookin' fah a wife who could provide him with a familay when he nevah managed
tah have one on his own, it was an offah Ah found impossible tah turn down,"
the blonde continued.

"Aye, I could see where it would be difficult," Emma agreed.

"Perfect husband, at first. Helped meh around the house an' didn' press meh fah
mah wifelay dutays, though Ah found mahself fulfillin' them anayway." Elaine
paused to add the rest of the ingredients and resumed stirring. "Then the babay
was born an' Reese decided it was time fah him tah return home."

"Now why doesn't that sound very good?" Emma asked.

"First thing Reese did was throw all mah books into the fireplace. Said Ah
didn' need them anaymoah," Elaine told her.

"How dreadful." 

"Ah know. Most of those books had been dragged cleah across the continent, sah
yah cn imagine how Ah felt," Elaine nodded. "But Reese wanted more children,
an' he didn' want anay thinkin' on mah part to interfeah with the process."

"My word. No wonder Mistress Aria doesn't like to talk about that time period
very much."

"It wasn' all bad," Elaine stated. "Most men weren' quite as bad as Reese. Ah
jus' found it was bettah tah go along then argue."

"You poor dear." 

"Ah'd been through worse," Elaine shrugged. "An' the marriage wasn' that bad,
believe it oh not. Reese an' Ah got on fairlay well, all things considered, an'
Jimmay kept meh busay most of the time. Would've been nice if Ah'd had anothah
child, but that wasn' in the cards."

"Such a shame. I'm sure you must have been an excellent mother."

"Ah tried. Mostlay Ah spoiled him rotten, since Ah knew Ah probablay wouldn'
see him grow up. Alreaday startin' tah become a vampiah, even then, though it
wasn' as bad as latah on." Elaine looked at the bowl and held it out to Emma.
"Would yah mind tastin' tah see if Ah have enough spices?"

Emma grabbed a spoon and used it to take a bite of the dough. "Needs more
cinnamon," she replied after a moments thought.

"A'right." Elaine added more of the spice and folded it in. "How's that?"

"Perfect," Emma declared, after tasting it again.

"Great," Elaine smiled. "Mind helpin' meh roll the dough up?"

"I think I can swing that," Emma winked.

"Thanks." Elaine moved aside to make room at the counter. "Theah a cookie sheet
around here?"

"Of course," Emma answered. "In the cupboard above the stove."

"Great." Elaine floated up to get it, then stopped. "It doesn' bother yah when
Ah do this, does it?"

"It does take a wee bit of gettin' used to, Miss Elaine," Emma admitted.

"Ah was afraid of that," Elaine sighed, getting the sheet and coming back down.
"Yah heart speeded up as mah feet left the floor."

"Well it is a bit of a shock, Miss Elaine," Emma pointed out. "Ya don't expect
someone to start flyin' suddenly. Although, if it's any consolation, I had a
faintin' spell the first time Mistress Aria died and came back in front of me."

"Actuallay, Ah think theah's more tah it then just shock. Yah might want tah
have yahself checked out by yah doctah for an irregulah heartbeat sometime,"
Elaine suggested, grabbing a hunk of dough. "It's probablay minah, sah no
hurray."

"Really now," Emma replied, intrigued. "And you heard all that, just now?"

"Among othah thin's," Elaine nodded. "Ah've learned tah keep mah ears open ovah
the yeahs."

"Must come in handy." 

"Saved mah life a couple of times," Elaine agreed. "An' it's great fah
huntin'."

"Hunting?" 

"Sometimes the prey runs," Elaine shrugged. "Oh sometimes weh decide tah spice
thin's up a bit. Oh someone sees somethin' they shouldn', an' needs tah beh
taken care of befoah a problem develops."

"Oh my." 

"Yah don' think weh always drink bottled blood, do yah?" Elaine asked, amused.
_So_ like a mortal.

"Well it's not exactly something your average proper Englishwoman thinks about,
Miss Elaine," Emma answered. "I don't go around dwellin' on what Mistress Aria
does either."

"immortals don' go around turnin' yah into suppah, neithah," Elaine pointed
out. "Place as isolated as this, yah should take a few precautions. 

"Such as?" 

"Few crosses scattahed about the place, maybeh some furniture that'll break
intah stakes," Elaine suggested. "Not that it would do anay good, but it might
make yah a less attractive meal. An' careful where yah place thin's, oh _Ah_
may not beh able tah stay here."

"Well, I have the crosses in m'own room," Emma replied. "Don't know what
Mistress Aria would think about the furniture though."

"Ah'm sure as long as yah explain the reasons why, she won' mind. Yah don' even
have tah change the style much, just have Dannay make some end tables an' the
like." Elaine paused and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked.

"What am Ah supposed tah do abou' Dannay?" Elaine bit her lip. "Ah was hopin'
finding out abou' meh would turn him off, but sah far, it hasn', as far as Ah
cn tell."

"Aye, you just leave that one to me, Miss Elaine," Emma suggested. "He may be
all grown up now, but I am _still_ his mother."

"Thanks," Elaine said with relief. "When Ah was mortal, Ah would've just
screwed Dannay an' let him get ovah meh, Reese willin'. But that ain' possible
now."

"You have such an ... interestin' way of puttin' things, Miss Elaine." 

"Ah was an interestin' Victorian," the blonde shrugged. "Which particulah
aspect were yah referrin' tah?"

"Just ... how easily you say that sort of thing," Emma explained. "Not that
there's anythin' wrong with it, it's just that it's a bit of a shock."

"It got easayah the more Ah did it," Elaine shrugged. "Reese had some ...
variations on the marital duties that Ah was obliged tah fulfill."

"I think you're tryin' to be a bit too polite there, dear." 

"He turned meh intah a whore, if that's what yah mean." Elaine's eyes
momentarily blazed red.

Emma patted the blonde's hand in a motherly way. "It wasn't your fault, dear,"
she replied. "And whatever you were then, it made you the woman you are now.
The woman Mistress Aria and Master Richie fell in love with, and knowin' them
the way I do, that has to count for somethin'."

"Yah like meh?" Elaine asked in the little girl's voice Emma had heard earlier.

"Of course I like you, Miss Elaine," Emma answered. "At least now that I
finally know what's been goin' on around here at any rate."

"Good. Ah like yah, too." Elaine kissed Emma on the cheek. "Yah 'mind meh of
Mammay. Onlay yah ain' no Negress."

"I'll try and take that as a compliment," Emma laughed.

"It's supposed to beh," Elaine nodded enthusiastically. "Papa says theah ain'
no difference between Negroes an' regulah folks, which is why weh're not
supposed tah call them niggahs, even when they go about makin' trouble."

"Well your father sounds like a very smart man," Emma replied. "Especially
since he managed to raise himself such a smart daughter."

Elaine frowned. "Papa don' like meh. Say meh look too much like Mama."

"Oh I'm sure that's not the case, Miss Elaine," Emma said. "It can just be
hard to have reminder of a lost loved one around like that sometimes. Lord
knows it was a mite hard on me to have Danny around after his father passed
away."

"Papa hate 'Laine!" Elaine insisted. She then shook her head and looked at the
cookie sheet. "This thin's full. Wan' meh tah put it in fah yah?"

Emma raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Might as well, Miss Elaine,"
she answered. "They are your cookies after all."

"But it's yah kitchen," Elaine teased as she opened the oven door and slid the
cookie sheet inside.

"But ya would have done it yourself if I'd managed to stay asleep," Emma
countered with a wink.

"But yah might not have woken up if Ah hadn' been here, makin' noise," Elaine
said.

"Trust me, dear, if I can sleep through m'Danny's midnight snack raids, I can
sleep through a wee bit of bakin'," Emma assured her. "Although the actual
bakin' process might have woken me up if ya know what I mean. I've always had
just a wee sweet tooth."

"Yah luckay. Anay noise in the house, especiallay from Jimmay's room, Ah'd wake
up in a shot," Elaine remembered. "'Nothah tray oh wait til this one's done?"

"I got out of that habit after Maggie moved out and I quit havin' to try and
catch her sneakin' in past curfew," Emma replied with a wink. "And I think
there's room for another tray."

"Ah ... nevah got that far with Jimmay," Elaine said, barely above a whisper,
as she floated up for another cookie sheet. "Had tah abandon him when Ah became
a vampiah."

"Oh you poor thing." Emma's voice took on her mother tone again. "That must
have been so hard on you, but I'm sure you did what you felt you had to do to
protect him."

"Ah almost killed him," Elaine whispered. "Was sittin' on the edge of his bed,
an' Ah just got all Hungray again. Lucien said it was best jus' tah leave mah
old life behind meh an' move on. That was right, wasn' it?" 

"Of course it was, love," Emma reassured. "Every mother just wants to do what
she can to protect her children, it was just that in your case that obviously
meant leaving him. But I'm sure if there had been any other way, you would have
found it."

Elaine nodded, the words sinking in a little more than usual. "Ah found him
again, on the night he died. Called me an angel an' said he understood why Ah
left him."

"Children understand more than we think sometimes," Emma replied. "And he may
have been closer to the mark with the angel comment than you'd like to think."

"Honey, the onlay way in which Ah resemble an angel is in that neithah of us ah
technicallay alive," Elaine snorted. "An' that's onlay technicallay. Mah heart
still beats occasionallay."

"But you were still his mum, and that was all that mattered to him," Emma
reminded her.

"Then Ah should have been theah!" Elaine insisted. "Ah should have been theah
when he fell in love an' got marrayed. Ah nevah even saw mah own
grandchildren."

"But you were protectin' him, dear. And maybe even protectin' yourself if'n ya
thought he wouldn't want ya back into his life," Emma replied. Then she yawned.
"Oh dear me, I can't believe I did that. Here you are pourin' your heart out to
me and I go and start fallin' asleep. Please forgive me, Miss Elaine."

"Fah what? Tah beh honest, Ah'm surprised yah managed tah stay up this long,"
Elaine answered. "Go on tah bed. Ah cn help if yah don' think yah can sleep
yet."

"Will you be all right, Miss Elaine?" Emma asked.

"A'course. Ah'll even wash up when Ah'm done," Elaine promised. "Theah
someplace Ah can put the cookays when they'ah cool? Oh, an' Ah'll need a couple
racks, as well."

"It's all in the cupboard there," Emma answered. "And ya can just leave 'em on
the counter to cool there."

"Thanks." Elaine got out a rack, then opened the stove and pulled out the
cookie sheet. "These look done tah yah?"

"Look perfect to me actually," Emma answered.

"Great." Elaine opened a drawer, found a spatula and moved the cookies to the
rack. "That's one of the annoying things about bein' a vampiah. Food doesn'
smell right, an' weh can' tell temperatures fah the most part. Not careful,
Ah'll go out in fiftay degree weathah in a minidress."

"Or take out a hot cookie sheet without an oven mitt?" Emma added.

"Exactlay," Elaine smiled. "Sunlight'll burn us, but that's about the onlay
thin' that can."

"Ya might want to learn to watch that in mixed company though, dear," Emma
suggested. "And ya might want to consider the checking out the telly before you
head out to fix the weather thing." Then she yawned again. "Okay, that bloody
well settles it. I'll see ya in the evenin', Miss Elaine."

"That's why Ah have eithah Richay oh Aria help meh cook, an' Ah always check
with someone before Ah go out," Elaine agreed. "Mornin'."

Emma gave the smaller woman a motherly squeeze on the shoulder and then
shuffled off to bed.



Over the next several days, Elaine noticed several changes. Supper was delayed
until after sunset, and it now included a glass of blood warmed up to human
body temperature. And little notes would be left for her, usually lists of
things to pick up in London, since it barely took her fifteen minutes to get
there. She didn't mind. It made her feel useful, and Elaine needed to feel
useful. She was even allowed to help Emma in the kitchen.

It was when fried chicken, mashed potatoes with giblet gravy, and corn on the
cob appeared on the table one Sunday that she finally had to say something.

"Emma, you're spoilin' meh," she protested. "If yah keep this up, Ah'm goin'
tah have tah change mah opinion about y'all. Ah may even end up likin' some of
yah."

"I'm not quite sure how to take that," Maggie said, half offended and half
teasingly.

"It's the downside of what Ah am," Elaine said. "Get too comfortable around
mortals, even ones who know what yah ah an' don' care, an' yah'll inevitablay
make a mistake around someone yah shouldn'. Then yah forced tah move on befoah
yah readay, leavin' everythin' yah own behind."

"Still," Maggie replied, "it's not very fun to hear, ya know."

"It's better than a stake in the chest an' an involuntaray sunbath," the blonde
pointed out.

"We are not discussin' this at the dinner table," Emma commanded.

"Yes, ma'am," Elaine and Maggie immediately agreed.

"So, Danny, did Elaine tell you she's made friend with Murder," Richie asked,
trying to fill the silence.

"Really?" Danny asked, surprised. "No offense, Elaine, but how'd ya manage that
one?"

"Growled at him a few times, smacked him upside the head an' told him if he
evah tried anaythin' with meh, Ah'd bite his ear off," she answered. "Yah'd beh
amazed how well that works. Horses can be sah vain at times."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Never considered that road before," he replied.

"Yah have tah beh willin' tah follow through with yah threats," Elaine warned.
"No offense, but even if yah were, which Ah doubt, yah teeth aren' reallay good
enough tah tear flesh. All he'd do is laugh at yah."

"How'd you learn so much about horses?" Danny asked, interested.

"Rode on one most of the way when Papa an' Ah crossed the prairays," the blonde
answered. "Decided _veray_ quicklay Ah didn' like walkin', didn' feel like
ridin' with Papa, sah when one of ah guides took a likin' tah meh, Ah took
advantage of his offer. Plus Lucien's been breedin' 'em for centurays."

"Really?" Danny asked, perking up.

"They make a nice investment," she shrugged. "Need some money, sell a couple
hundred horses. Plus he's developing a line with bettah night vision, with
considerable success. Ah don' suppose yah'd beh interested in a couple of
them?"

"I'd love to have some new breedin' stock," Danny answered. "Do you think he'd
be interested?"

"If Ah ask him," Elaine said. "Just make a list of what yah want an' how
manay."

"Just a couple to start out with, I'm sure," Danny replied. "I'm strictly small
time these days, what with it just bein' me and all."

"Mares oh stallions, dearheart," the blonde reminded him. "An' make sure tah
specifay colahs. Lucien tends tah take thin's literallay."

"I'll give it some thought and let ya know," Danny promised.

The next few minutes were taken up by eating, then Maggie decided to speak.

"I got an interestin' phone call today," she said.

"Oh really now," Emma replied.

"It was from someone named Simon," Maggie answered. "He wanted to speak to
Elaine."

Elaine choked on the drink she'd been taking. "Simon? What'd he want?"

"Somethin' about notes, he wouldn't say more than that," Maggie answered. "Well
that and he seemed awful distracted by somethin'."

"An' Ah suppose he couldn' have said anay more, even if Ah had been on the
phone," Elaine sighed. "Anayone mind if Ah take a couple days tah go see him?"

"If you insist," Richie answered. "Still don't see why you put up with the
little shit though."

"Simple." Elaine glared at him. "He's a brilliant scientist, even befoah Ah got
mah hands on him, he's not much trouble, despite what y'all think, an' above
all else, mah responsibilitay."

"Who's Simon?" Danny asked.

"Mah ... protege, Ah guess yah could call him," Elaine answered. "It's thanks
tah him that Ah found Natalay an' Amay."

"And they would be?" Emma prodded.

"Mah great great, and great great great granddaughtahs," the blonde beamed.
"Natalay's single," she then added, looking at Danny.

"And a little too old for Danny, no offense to Nat, and definitely not likely
to be happy livin' over there," Aria replied, trying to nip things in the bud.

"But Natalay's not that much oldah than meh, physicallay," Elaine said
defensively. "An' she ain' likelay tah kill Dannay in bed, neithah."

Danny paled. "Um, that's okay, Elaine," he said. "All in all, I'd still rather
have a local girl. Maggie there is the world traveler, I'm the homebody like
Mum."

"Careful," Richie teased. "'Laine might take it in her head to start
interviewing the local girls for you."

"Ah will not!" Elaine crumpled up her napkin and pelted the young immortal's
head with it.

"Matchmakin' must be a mother thing," Maggie replied. "That's one of the perks
about bein' a Watcher, it finally made Mum quit tryin' to marry me off."

"Part of it's from growin' up," Elaine said. "Weh weren' uppah class, by anay
means, since Papa worked with his hands, but it would have been quite
acceptable fah him tah have picked mah husband fah meh. Befoah weh moved west,
anayway. Rules were different theah. An' Ah'm still not convinced that havin'
the children make theah own matches works anay bettah then when the matches are
made for them."

"What about your mum?" Danny asked. "Wouldn't she have had any say in it?"

"Mammay might've locked meh in my room if she didn' like mah beau, but she
wouldn' have done anay arrangin', even if she had survived Sherman," Elaine
shrugged. "Slaves an' former slaves just didn' do that sort of thin'."

Emma gently put her hand on Elaine's. "Elaine, dear, we didn't ask about your
mammy, we asked about your mum," she said.

Elaine wrenched her hand away. "Ain' got no Mama!" she snapped.

"Of course, you had a Mama," Danny said. "Everyone has a Mama. Except for
immortals, I mean."

"It's a little complicated, Danny," Aria replied tactfully.

"She abusive or somethin'?" he asked, taking a bite of his potatoes.

Maggie hit him in the back of the head. "She died, ya daft git," she replied.
"And ya'll keep sayin' I'm the tactless one."

"And you're the Watcher," Danny snorted. "If that's all that happened, Elaine
wouldn't have reacted like she did."

"Danny!" Aria hissed, trying to cut him off before he shoved his entire leg
into his mouth instead of just his foot.

But it was too late. Elaine was slouched in her chair, eyes squeezed shut,
jerking her head from side to side, and mumbling under her breath.

Emma gently touched the blonde's shoulder. "Elaine, dear, are you all right?"

Elaine opened her eyes, straightened up and looked at Emma. "Papa says I'm not
supposed t'tawk t'people I don't know," she stated.

Emma glanced over at Aria and Richie, confused.

"You're the one who dealt with her last time," Richie reminded Aria.

Aria shot Richie a dirty look. "Gee, thanks," she replied sarcastically. Then
she turned back to the blonde. "It's alright, 'Laine, we're friends of Thomas'.
He asked us to look after ya for a bit."

"But I don't know ya," Elaine frowned. "And yous tawk funny."

"So do you," Aria pointed out with a teasing wink.

"Naw. I tawk like everyone else, 'cept Papa," the girl corrected. "And yous
still strangers."

"Well I'm Aria," the English immortal replied, pointing to everyone in turn.
"And this is Richie, Maggie, Danny, and --"

"Mama Em! Yous Mama Em!" Elaine cut Aria off, looking at Emma. "Why're yous
Mama Em?"

Being a proper British servant, Emma had no trouble concealing how confused she
really was. "I don't know, dear," she answered instead. "Why do you think I
am?"

"Don't know," the girl admitted, smiling. "You
calls them old bats, cuz they don't like him."

Emma bit back a grin. "Not exactly, love," she answered. "And would I be your
papa's friend if I didn't like him?"

"They family, not friends," Elaine corrected. "They don't like us 'cause Papa's
from some place else. An' wes don't like them 'cause--" Instead of finishing
her sentence, she grabbed a chicken leg and bit into it.

"Why don't you like your aunts, sweetie?" Emma asked gently.

Elaine began kicking the table and her chair with her feet. "Papa says I'm not
supposed t'tawk about it," she said, with a full mouth.

"It's all right, ducks, you can tell us," Aria replied. "We promise we won't
tell him you told."

"Papa said t'forget about it an' pretend it didn't happen," the girl answered,
shaking her head.

"But your mum wouldn't want ya to forget," Emma replied, deciding to take a
chance.

Instead of answering, Elaine increased her kicking. "Papa says better
t'remember Mama when she was alive, then what happened after she died," she
said a few minutes later.

"Why don't we start over," Richie suggested, after several more minutes went by
with no one speaking. "Elaine, where was this?"

"New Yawk, silly," she answered. "Where else would I be?"

"You mean she's a Yank?" Maggie snickered.

"Maggie...," Richie glared.

Elaine shook her head. "Mama and all thems is Yanks. Papa says I'm a ha-- ... a
ha--"

"Half-breed?" Danny guessed.

"Yeah, ha-breed," Elaine nodded. "But Papa says when we move, I ain't supposed
t'be Yank no more."

"Why not?" Aria asked.

"Cuz of what theys did t'Mama," the girl answered. "Papa says people supposed
t'respect dead and not do what theys did."

"What did they do, sweetie?" Emma asked.

"It's ... don't know," Elaine said, scrunching her face. "Think theys make Papa
make Mama dead, but Papa say Mama already dead."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, confused.

"Theys make Papa 'n' me go t'where Mama sleeping," Elaine explained. "Mama
there, all pretty, like when we say goodbye."

"You mean somebody dragged you to the cemetery where they'd taken your mom out
of the ground?" Richie translated, turning a little green.

The girl slowly nodded.

"What happened next, sweetie?" Emma prompted.

Elaine squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, as if to escape the memories.
"Papa an' theys fight. Papa says don't wanna do it. Theys push stick in Papa's
hand, and--" She paused and made an up and down motion with her fist.

"They hammered the stick?" Danny offered, starting to match Richie in coloring.

Elaine nodded again. "Papa put stick on Mama, an' take ... take hammer an'--
NO, PAPA! DON'T!" Scrambling off her chair, she ducked down next to Emma and
hid her face in the housekeeper's skirt.

Emma smoothed the blonde's hair gently. "Oh you poor dear," she whispered.

"Kind of ironic, considerin' her current condition and all," Maggie, the morbid
one of the bunch, replied.

"And no wonder she hates Yanks," Richie noted. "If they did that to her
family."

"It explains a lot of things when ya get right down to it," Aria added.

"You think that's why she's...?" Richie made a few motions with his fingers
next to his head.

"I'm not a psychologist, but it probably had a lot to do with it," Aria
answered.

"So what do we do?" he then asked. "And how do we get her back now?"

Aria shrugged. "Let her cry herself out for now and then kind of see after
that," she answered.

"She's not cryin', she's terrified," Emma corrected. "Poor dear keeps shakin'
like a leaf."

The older woman patted the blonde's back gently. "It's all right, dearie," she
whispered soothingly. "It's just a bad memory is all, no one's gonna hurt ya."

The girl didn't hear her. "No .... no," she kept repeating, shaking her head.

"You know, I don't think it's over yet," Richie realized.

"Obviously," Aria replied.

Elaine stood, swaying from side to side. "No, no, no, no."

"Elaine, hon, what's wrong?" Emma asked.

"Smoke. Smell smoke," the girl answered. "Theys burnin' Mama!" Elaine stepped
back from the table, then ran for the door.

As one, Aria and Richie lunged forward, grabbing the blonde.

"Let me go!" Elaine shrieked. "Don't wanna!"

"Come on, Elaine, back to the table." Richie picked her up and carried her
over.

Elaine struggled, then froze as they reached the table.

"What's the matter, Elaine?" Aria asked.

"Is it this?" Richie added, picking up a glass of water.

Elaine nodded and took the glass. "Don't wanna drink," she murmured, just
before downing the contents. Then, making a face, she shoved the glass back at
Richie. "Mama taste yucky."

Danny started turning green again. "Oh God, Auntie, they didn't...?" he asked.

Aria shook her head. "No, they didn't. At least, not what you're thinkin'," she
answered. "The proper cure for a 'vampire' induced plague was to stake and burn
the offendin' corpse and then to mix the ashes with some liquid and drink it.
It worked to a point because it did kill off the germs causin' the disease and
the ashes did help tuberculosis, but it was still a lot of bloody rubbish."

"So you think 'Laine's mother had tuberculosis?" Richie asked, putting the
pieces together.

"Mama had c'nsum'tion," Elaine supplied, trying to be helpful. "Ain't no
vampire. Papa say so."

"That's right, sweetie," Emma said, patting the blonde's hand. "You're father
is a very smart man."

"Papa doctor," the girl boasted. "Me gonna be doctor, too."

"And you'll be a darn good one too," Richie agreed with a grin.

"Mama Papa's nurse, but me gonna be real doctor," she continued, nodding.
"Grandpa doctor, too, where Papa meet Mama."

"Well if ya want to grow up to be a right good doctor, ya need to eat," Emma
replied. "And that goes for the rest of you all, too."

"Yes, Mama Em." Elaine dutifully took Emma's hand and let her lead her to the
table.

Aria and Richie followed suit, returning to their own places.

A few minutes later, Elaine froze, made a face and put down the chicken leg
she'd been chewing on. "Emma, Ah'm not feelin' too well. May Ah please beh
excused from the table?"

Emma raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Of course, Miss Elaine," she
replied.

"Thanks." Elaine got up and left the table.

Richie waited until she passed him, and grabbed her hand. "Are you okay?"

"Ah'm always 'okay'," she answered coldly.

She waited for him to release her, then left the room.

"I'm so, so sorry, Mistress Aria," Emma said. "I truly didn't mean to upset
her."

Aria waved her off. "It's all right, Emma. It's not your fault," she said.
Getting up, she went after her lover.



She found Elaine in their bedroom, in the middle of changing clothes.

"'Laine, hon, you okay?" Aria asked. "And don't give me any of that 'I'm always
okay' bull you pulled on Richie, 'cause I ain't buyin' any of it."

Elaine turned and glared at the brunette. "Ah have no ideah what yah talkin'
about."

"You had another one of your episodes, Elaine," Aria replied. "Funny how you
spend so much time insultin' Yanks only to have one of your personalities go
and prove you are one."

"Ah ain' no Yank!" Elaine snapped. "That was an accident of birth. Nothin'
more."

Aria shrugged. "I can understand why you'd feel that way, what with happened to
your mum and all, but facts is facts, Elaine," she replied.

"Funny how most facts seem tah change ovah the yeahs," the blonde remarked.
"Ah'd've thought an _Andraven_ would understand abou' that."

"Ooh, that was _low_," Aria replied. "I'd almost be offended if it wasn't proof
that I've succeeded in starting to piss you off." She leaned up against her
dresser and crossed her arms over her chest. "Now are you gonna start talkin'
to me or should we trade a few more insults first?"

"Neithah." Done dressing, Elaine gathered her hair behind her head and pinned
it in place. "Ah'm leavin'."

"Think again, Elaine," Aria said. "I ain't lettin' you outta this house until
we settle this."

"An' how exactlay ah yah plannin' on stoppin' meh?" Elaine crossed her arms in
front of her chest.

"Well, for starters, if you do leave you'll never get back into this house,"
Aria replied. "Bein' a good Catholic woman, Emma has quite a collection of
crosses that could probably cover every window and door in this place. This, of
course, is assumin' that 'presence' you felt earlier actually lets you off the
property. Andraven can be pretty stubborn when it comes to Her Daughters and
the women they love. And since I know at the very least that you don't want to
screw up your meal ticket, that make you at least think twice before takin' off
on me."

"What makes yah think Ah'd beh comin' back?" Elaine countered. "Who wants tah
live with a damn hypocrite?"

"Depends," Aria replied. "If it's the psychotic, gorgeous, intelligent
hypocrite I happen to be madly in love with, I do."

"Yah forgot vampiah," Elaine pointed out. "Which ain' all that surprisin',
seeing how yah tend tah forget it excep' when weh're in bed."

Aria shrugged. "I don't think of Richie as just an immortal or Emma and the
others as just mortal either unless something reminds me," she replied.

"It don' mattah what Richay oh Emma ah, most of the time," Elaine said. "Yah
reallay have no clue about the vampiah, do yah?"

"Only because you won't tell me," Aria pointed out. "You treat me like a
bleedin' pet instead of your lover, not worthy of knowin' a blasted thing
unless I can trick it outta ya. You keep forgettin' somethin' too, Elaine. I'm
not just a mere mortal, hell, I'm not even _mortal_. And I'm not like Richie.
I'm every bit the predator you are, I just didn't need some blasted virus to
make me that way."

"This ain' about the predatah," Elaine hissed. "It's about the _othah_ "gift"
of the vampiah."

"Then tell me about it, damnit!" Aria snapped.

"It's ... hard tah explain. Not sure if Ah have it all quite worked out yet."
The blonde paused, and sat down on the bed. "A couple of yeahs before Ah met
Neeki again, there was a hold up at the Raven, while he was visitin' Janette.
Afterwards, all Neeki could see was the one mortal that'd been killed, not that
he'd saved everyone else's lives, plus the Community wasn' revealed. Onlay
Neeki couldn' handle all the guilt ovah that one mortal, so he ended up
creatin' a whole 'nothah world fah himself, until Lucien beat him back tah
realitay. Then about a yeah latah, Janette went an' fell in love with a mortal.
He was killed, an' she was sah overwhelmed with the loss, that she became
mortal again. An' yah know what happened when Ah saw that photah of the Yank.
Ah had tah become a ten year old again befoah weh could deal with it. Ah don'
think the vampiah can handle veray strong emotions."

"Well, in your case, I'm not quite so sure that that was the vampire, but I get
what you mean," Aria replied.

"Doesn' mattah. Ah've been like this sah long Ah no longah react like a
mortal," Elaine shrugged. "Which is why Ah'm leavin'. The vampiah gets upset,
it tends tah like blood. Ah figure yah'd prefah it if Ah _didn'_ kill everyone
on the estate."

"You could always take me out, ya know," Aria told her.

"Yah that anxious tah lose yah head?" Elaine smiled predatorily. "Ah have a
feelin' this is goin' tah get fairlay blooday."

"Nope," Aria answered. "However, I am that anxious to make sure you stick
around."

"Trust meh?" Elaine asked in her little girl's voice. "Ah'd leave yah mah
knife, onlay Ah'm goin' tah beh needin' it."

"Only if you promise me that you'll be back by sunrise," Aria answered. "And
that you'll stick around long enough for me to give ya somethin' first."

"Ah'm afraid it's goin' tah take longah then that just tah get wheah Ah'm
goin'," Elaine replied. "But Ah cn stay a few minutes longah."

"Good enough, I guess." Aria sat Elaine down on the bed and pulled a long box
out from underneath it. "Let me tell you somethin', 'Laine. As an Andraven
warrior, there is only one material possession in the entire word that I hold
above m'life, and that's m'sword. See, to an Andraven, a sword isn't just a
weapon, it's an extension of our very being. It's as if a piece of our soul is
drawn out of our bodies and shaped and reformed into steel. Because of that,
the formation of a sword is a very intimate process and is something that
should only be done by the warrior who is going to wield that sword. You're not
just forging the steel, you're bonding yourself to it, remakin' a part of
yourself inta that weapon.

"The soulsword pendant is a part of that. Unlike our swords, we're only allowed
to make one pendant in our entire life and we can give that pendant away only
once. Even if the person you give it to dies, you can never give that pendant
away again. I've ... I've never actually told Richie that. Truth is, I just
don't know how. All I've ever known is that he was the one I wanted to give it
to. I knew it almost the moment I laid eyes on him actually. But it never
crossed my mind that some day I'd meet someone else that I'd want to give it
to. Until I met you, that is.

"I don't regret givin' Richie m'pendant. Either way I would have ended up in
this pickle, 'cause one of you would have gotten the pendant, and one of you
would have gotten squat. But I want you to have a piece of me, 'Laine,
something you can carry with ya always as a reminder of how much you mean to
me. So, after a little work, I found me a loophole." She handed the box to
Elaine.

Curious, Elaine opened the box. "This a knife or a sword?" she asked.

"It's a short sword," Aria answered. "No offense, Elaine, but you're a little
too on the petite side for a blade like mine."

"Don' worray about it. A knife's more practical fah meh anayway." Elaine stood
and made a few passes with the blade. "Feels different then Richay's. Aside
from the size, Ah mean."

"That's 'cause it's balanced strictly for you," Aria explained. "At least, I
hope I got the balance right. I've never made a sword for another person so I
kinda had to guess. Anyway, Richie's is sorta generically balanced so anyone
can use it. Yours is just for you."

"Oh, that makes sense, Ah suppose." The blonde frowned. "Does this mean Ah have
tah do them sillay yoga thin's yah an' Richay's always doin'?"

Aria shook her head. "This wasn't exactly the reaction I was goin' for here,
love," she said. "But, no, ya don't have to do any katas if'n ya don't want to.
Just because Richie and I find them relaxin' and productive doesn't mean you
gotta do it. Although, us practicin' together could make things difficult, if
interestin'."

Elaine put down the sword and kissed Aria. "That more in the line of what yah
were expectin'?" she asked, eyes glowing.

"That was definitely more in the line of what I was expectin'," Aria answered,
smiling. "So, do you like it?"

"A' course, Ah do, yah made it fah meh." After kissing Aria again, Elaine took
her knife out and handed it to Aria. Then she picked up the sword and hid it in
her dress. "An' now, Ah reallay do have tah beh goin'."

Aria grabbed the blonde in a tight hug. "Ah do love ya, 'Laine," she said. "I
know how hard all this is for ya, but I do love you. No matter what. Just
remember that, okay?"

"Ah'll try," Elaine promised. That said, she went to the window and left.



The little dog jumped up and licked Richie's face.

"Down boy," Richie said, laughing. "You'll make my girlfriends jealous."

"Boy?" the doggie answered. "Yah been playin' with Methos again?"

"A talking dog?" Richie asked, confused.

"It's yah dream," it pointed out. "Yah decide what Ah look like."

"Then why do you sound like Elaine?" Richie asked.

"Why do yah think Ah sound like Elaine?"

"'Cause ya got that gorgeous Southern accent," Richie answered, grinning.

"But yah the one that decided Ah sound like hah," the doggie pointed out. It
began licking Richie again, this time uncomfortably not on the face.

"Well, it's probably 'cause I miss her," Richie admitted.

"Badlay?" The little dog looked up at him sadly.

"I always miss her badly when she's not here," Richie answered. "Oh, sure,
having Aria around helps, just like having Elaine around helps when Ari's not
here. But I still like it better when all three of us are around."

"Then why don' yah wake up an open yah eyes?" it suggested. "There's a surprise
waiting fah yah."

It took Richie a while, but he finally broke free of the dream and managed to
wake up and open his eyes. "'Laine!" he exclaimed. "But what's with the hat?"

"It's a present fah Dannay," the blonde explained, taking it off. "Yah'd beh
amazed what yah cn find on the black market in Saint Petersburg these days."

"Is that where you went?" Richie asked.

"Uh huh," Elaine nodded. "Lucien bought a house there right befoah the Russian
Revolution. Decided tah go see how badlay it's handled the yeahs."

"And?" Richie asked.

"Could've been worse," she shrugged. "Ah think the Lermantovs have kep' it up
quite well, all things considahed."

"So what'd ya bring me?" Richie asked.

For an answer, Elaine reached into her bag and produced a large, flat, black
enameled box, with a painting of a man fighting a dragon on the lid. "It's to
put yah watch an' all in when yah go tah bed."

"It's beautiful, 'Laine," Richie replied, taking the box. "But you really
didn't have to bring me back anything, I'm just glad you're back. We missed you
like crazy."

"Ah know Ah don'. Ah just like tah," she pouted. "Besides, all yah've done is
say that yah've missed meh. Yah ain' done nothin' tah show it."

"That's 'cause Ari's already up and out at her gym working out and I can't do
it proper like without her here, too," Richie replied with a wink.

"But yah could start." Elaine ran her hand down his chest and under the covers. 

"Any ideas in particular?" Richie asked, leaning in for a kiss.

"As a mattah of fact...." Raising her head, she paused, then went over by the
door, motioning for Richie to keep quiet.

"Well, it's about bloody time ya woke up, ya lazy bones," Aria teased her lover
as she entered the room.

Elaine drew her sword and placed it next to Aria's neck. "Yah money, or yah
virtue."

"Considerin' ya already got both those things, I think you're plum outta luck,"
Aria replied. "How 'bout a kiss instead?"

"It's a start, Ah suppose." Elaine removed the sword and put it back in its
hiding place. "As long as a start is all it is."

"Ain't it always?" Aria replied with a grin. Then she went in for her kiss.

"Usuallay." Elaine eagerly responded to the kiss, then broke off and pulled
Aria over to the bed. "Got somethin' fah yah."

"Oh really now," Aria replied, wiggling her eyebrows.

Setting Aria on the bed, Elaine dug into her bag and pulled out a Russian
nesting doll. The figure on the outside was blonde, and had fangs. "Mind you,
yah can' show this tah anayone, on account of the first figure. This may count
as empirical evidence, Ah'm not sure."

"Elaine, this is adorable," Aria replied. "I just love it!"

"What's the next figure?" Richie asked, looking over his lovers' shoulders.

Aria opened the first figure to reveal the second one, a red head with the
sword. "Hmm, looks vaguely familiar," she teased.

"Like Ah told Richay, it's amazin' what yah cn find on the Russian black market
these days," Elaine smiled. "Next."

The next figure had salt and pepper hair, a beard, and a guitar.

"That's gotta be Joe," Richie decided. "Is it just me, or am I detecting a
theme here?"

Aria went to the next figure, a long haired Scotsman in a kilt, only holding a
katana instead of a claymore. "Well, maybe just a little one," she laughed.

"Ah couldn' just buy off the shelf, now could Ah?" Elaine pointed out. "Take a
closah look at yah box, Richay. That one's been personalized as well."

Richie grabbed the box and did as she asked. "Hey, that's me and you," he
realized. "But why does the dragon have red hair?"

"What dragon did yah fight that held meh captive?" the former damsel in
distress reminded him.

"You made Reese the dragon?" Richie asked, surprised. "Isn't that kind of an
insult to dragons everywhere?"

"Probablay, but he wasn' uglay enough fah a troll," Elaine answered. "An' Ah
want Aria tah open the rest of hah doll."

Aria did as the blonde wanted, revealing the next figure to be a man with long
dark hair, half a blue face, and a book in his hands.

"No need to guess who that is," Richie smiled. "Who's next?"

The next doll was a female with dark hair and lots of jewelry.

"Good thin' I'm not angry with her anymore," Aria noted. "Otherwise, I might
have to kill you, Raltra."

Elaine stuck her tongue out at her lover.

The next doll, a man in a hat from the 1920's holding a tommy gun, made Richie
wince. "Did you have to put him in there?" he groaned.

"If yah don' like him, yah don' have tah look," Elaine said, pulling off the
top half. A woman with a camera and a blue tattoo on the inside of her wrist
was revealed.

"That's a good likeness of her actually," Aria grinned. "But I bet I can guess
who the next one is then."

"Has to be either Danny or Emma," Richie guessed, taking the head off.

The next doll turned out to be a young man holding a bridle and a saddle.

"Danny," Richie and Aria said in unison.

"Which means the next is...," Elaine led off.

"Emma," Aria replied as she revealed the next doll, an older woman with a
teapot and a broom.

"So what's left then?" Richie asked. "Isn't that everybody?"

"Oh, theah's a couple left," Elaine replied mysteriously.

Aria opened the next doll and then almost dropped. "How...?"

"Fleur's idea," Elaine said. "But weh both thought yah'd like it."

"She looks vaguely familiar," Richie pointed out, "but I'm not sure why."

Aria smacked Richie on the back of the head. "Her portrait's only been hangin'
in the library the whole time ya've been comin' here, ya git!"

"Yeah, well, Indala the nesting doll still looks different from Indala the
portrait," Richie pointed out.

"Different style of paintin'," Elaine shrugged. "Care tah guess the last one?"

"Well, so far everybody's been someone who's important to Ari," Richie thought
out loud, "so the last one would have to be...." He pulled off Indala's head.
"Aria herself," he announced.

Aria put the doll back together again. "It's absolutely lovely, Elaine, I just
love it," she said.

"Reallay?" Elaine asked. "How much?"

"This is the part where I show my appreciation, huh?" Aria teased.

"It'd beh nice. Richay, too," the blonde smiled toothily. "Ah did just fly back
from Paris."

"All the way from Paris, huh?" Richie replied. "Must have been an exhausting
flight."

"Extremelay," Elaine smiled. "Mah poor arms ah sah tired, Ah cn barelay move
them."

"Oh you poor thing, whatever shall we do?" Aria asked with a wink.

"What if we started by...," Richie carefully unzipped Elaine's flying jacket.

 

"Is Elaine ready yet?" Richie asked, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Who knows? She won't drag her gorgeous little bum outta her closet," Aria
sighed.

Richie went over to the closet door, unwilling to brave the mass of clothes.
"'Laine?"

"Few more minutes," ELiane called back.

"Few more minutes nothin'." Aria headed into the closet.

The warrior soon returned, carrying a legs-kicking and arms-flailing Elaine
around the waist. 

"But Ah ain' done yet!" Elaine complained.

"Only thing ya ain' wearin' are your dainties and since ya don't wear any
anyway, you're perfect," Aria replied as she put Elaine down.

"Don' like this dress." The blonde pouted, then brightened up. "Yah know, Ah
have the perfect dress in Paris. Why don' Ah go ovah an fetch it?"

"Aria's right, 'Laine, you look great." An invisible light bulb went on over
Richie's head. "Unless, of course, you're afraid to go out there."

Elaine didn't answer.

"Elaine, you _are_ afraid!" he challenged.

"An' just _why_ would Ah beh afraid of a little ol' lady?" the blonde
countered.

"Did you hear that, Aria?" Richie asked.

Aria nodded. "Very interesting," she agreed.

"Ah didn' say nothin'," Elaine said, too quickly.

"Yes, you did," Richie replied. "All I said was that you were afraid, _you_
brought up the little old lady."

"Which I wouldn't mention to Emma," Aria winked.

"Then maybeh Ah should stay in here an' she won' hear about it," Elaine
suggested.

"Oh no, you're goin' down to dinner even if we have to drag your gorgeous
little bum down those stairs." Aria.

"Don't you want to give Emma her present?" Richie looked into Elaine's bag.
"How on earth did you get that in there?"

"Practice," Elaine smiled. "Yah think she'll like it?"

"Are you kidding?" Richie replied. "She'll love it."

"Ah did try an' find somethin' that reminded meh of hah." 

Aria came over and peeked into the bag. "Well ya did a bloody good job of it,
love," she said.

"Ah have thin's fah Maggay an' Dannay, too." Elaine pulled the items out of the
bag.

"Danny should get a big kick outta this hat." Richie planted it on top of
Elaine's head.

"Yah sure?" Elaine asked. "Ah had the hardes' time figurin' somethin' fah him.
But it does have his name on it, in Russian."

"Hey, as cold as it gets out here durin' the winter, he'll down right love it
then," Aria assured her.

"Then yah'll beh sure tah tell meh his reaction when yah give it tah him." 

"Not a chance, love," Aria replied. "You're handin' 'em out yourself."

"Arm wrestle yah fah it."

"Nope." 

"Afraid yah'd lose?" Elaine challenged.

"Nope, afraid you'd cheat," Aria winked. "Vampire enhanced strength and all
that."

"But that ain' cheatin'. That's just usin' the gifts the deah Lord gave meh,"
Elaine protested.

"We could always move you down into Duncan's bedroom while you're hiding in
here," Richie threatened.

"An' Ah could always go back tah Paris where at least Ah'm appreciated," the
blonde countered. "Give meh one good reason why Ah should go out there."

"We love you," Richie said.

"Emma's been worried sick since ya left," Aria added.

"Murder hasn't been himself either," Richie continued.

"Danny's been sulkin'," Aria pointed out.

"Even Maggie's been worried," Richie agreed.

"They did?" Elaine asked, stunned.

"Yep," Aria answered.

"Then ... Ah suppose Ah should go out there an' relieve their anxietay," the
blonde decided.

"It would be the proper thing to do," Aria agreed.

"And we know how you like to be proper," Richie said, pulling Elaine to her
feet.

"It is the Southern way after all," Aria added.

"An' how would yah know?" Elaine teased, picking up her bag and heading for the
door. "Ah thought yah were in Italay at the time."

"Doesn't mean I wasn't there before the war," Aria shot back as she followed
the blonde out.

"Then why didn' yah come visitin'?" Elaine pointed out.

"'Cause I didn't know ya then, silly," Aria answered.

"That's no excuse. Is it, Richay?"

"Well, she does have a point there," Richie replied.

"She does? Funnay how Ah don' remembah hah havin' one befoah. Maybeh weh ought
tah search hah." That said, Elaine launched a vicious tickle attack, aimed at
Aria's midsection.

"Oh no, you don't!" Aria replied as she launched a counter-attack.

"'Oh no, yah don't' what?" Elaine asked, stepping under Aria's grasp.

"I'll get you for that!" Aria exclaimed as she chased after the blonde.

Elaine ducked around Richie, pushing him into Aria's path.

Aria tried her best to keep going after Elaine, but Richie kept getting in the
way. So she went after him, instead. 

"Hey!" Richie exclaimed, trying to get away.

"Fight back, sillay," Elaine said, sneaking a go at Aria from around Richie's
back.

"Okay," Richie replied. He then proceeded to attack _both_ women.

Elaine grabbed his right hand, held it above her head and went after him on
that side.

Aria proceeded to do the same on his left side.

"No fair!" Richie protested. "At least let my hands go."

"All's fair in love and tickle wars," Aria replied.

"Exactlay," Elaine agreed. "What's the mattah? Can' yah handle a couple of
girls?"

"Oh, I will get you for that!" Richie exclaimed as he tried to squirm free.

"Promises, promises," Elaine laughed.

"And I _always_ keep my promises!" Richie finally managed to break free and
went after the blonde.

Elaine gave a screech, then froze. "Evenin', Dannay."

"Yeah, right," Richie shot back. "Like I'm really falling for that one."

"Um, hi," Danny said, stepping into view. "Nice to see you back, Miss Elaine."

"Need somethin', Danny?" Aria asked.

"I was just...." Danny blushed, looked the three over and gulped. "Mum wanted
to know how many people for supper."

"I'd say three, wouldn't you, Elaine?" Aria asked the blonde.

"Ah say weh go tell hah ourselves." Elaine broke away from Richie, popped the
hat on Danny's head and surprised him with a kiss. "Merray Christmas, or
whatevah yah say around here."

"It's very becomin', Danny," Aria added. "Goes right well with your blush."

"Thanks, I think," Danny answered, taking the hat off and looking at it. "What
is it?"

"Think, Danny," Richie replied. "Piece of fabric, fits on your head."

"I know what it is." Danny batted Richie with it. "What I meant was, why?"

"It's a present," Elaine informed him. "Don' yah like it?"

"If it's from you, I love it," Danny answered.

"It even has yah name on it." She pointed out the letters in Russian. "It's
actuallay a last name, but Ah figured, close enough."

Danny looked at the odd Russian lettering. "If'n ya say so, Elaine." 

"Yah need tah travel more," the blonde laughed. "Shall weh go, then?"

"Emma does tend to get a bit peeved when we're late for dinner," Richie warned.

"Here, I'll be takin' that for ya." Danny took the bag from Elaine, and would
have dropped it if she hadn't taken it back. "What the blazes ya got in there?"
he asked, stunned.

"Presents fah yah mothah an' sistah," Elaine answered. "No peekin'."

"What'd ya get 'em, bricks?"

"'Course not," the blonde pouted. "Just a couple of baubles Ah picked up."

"Baubles usually aren't that heavy," Danny countered.

"But they'ah not heavay. Ah couldn' have flown with them back from Sain'
Petersburg if they was heavay," Elaine objected.

"Elaine, hon," Aria interjected, "you're forgettin' the enhanced strength thing
again."

"Danny is just a mere mortal, remember?" Richie added.

"Mortal, maybeh. But Ah wouldn' say anaythin' abou' Dannay was _mere_," Elaine
said, looking at him through half-closed eyes.

Danny started blushing again.

"C'mon, 'Laine, leave the poor guy alone before he blushes to death," Richie
sighed.

"Really, I've never seen him turn that red in his life," Aria added.

"Then maybeh weh should get him out more," Elaine declared, eyes twinkling
dangerously. "Have Ah evah shown yah a picture of mah great grand daughtah-in-
law?"

"Elaine!" Aria and Richie admonished in unison.

"What?" the blonde answered back. "Ah think they'd make a wondahful couple. An'
Amay would love all the horses."

"First off, I sincerely doubt either one of them would be all that happy livin'
in the middle of nowhere," Aria pointed out. "Second of all, if Sarah couldn't
handle vampires, what makes ya think she'll do any better with immortals?"

"The onlay vampiah Sarah couldn' handle was the one that attacked hah," Elaine
shot back. "She was just fine with Neeki."

"After Nick whammied her into forgettin' what he was," Aria countered.

"_Befoah_ he hypnotized hah," the blonde corrected. "And he onlay made hah
forget tah spare hah the pain of Richard's dyin' twice."

"There's still the age difference," Aria reminded her. "Danny's young enough to
be Amy's older brother."

Elaine thought that over and smiled. "What a wondahful idea, Shalla. It'll
onlay be a few more yeahs befoah Amay's old enough tah date."

Aria just groaned.

"She sounds nice," Danny said diplomatically. "Why don't we wait until it's
legal before bringin' her over, okay?"

"A'right," Elaine agreed. "Yah just beh sure yah free when she gets here."

"I'll do m'best," he promised.

"Best what?" Maggie asked, coming up to them. "'Bout time you came back,
Elaine."

"Trust me, Mags, ya don't wanna know," Aria answered. "Just be thankful
Elaine's male relatives are all hazardous to your health."

"Oh, that again. Honestly, Elaine, don't you ever get tired