DISCLAIMER: Okay, this is weird. But you were expecting that from me, weren't 
you? ;-) What we have here is two fanfic characters going to bat with a 
fictionalized real person for a TV show character. Richie, Duncan and that 
crowd belong to the HL people, though I'm not sure why cuz they've done such 
a good job screwing them up. Neeki, Danny and that crowd belong to the 
Forever Knight people, though, again, I'm not sure why since they tried to 
kill everyone off. Aria belongs to Kat Wilson and Elaine belongs to me, 
though I think both of them would come at me with knives if they ever knew I 
said that. Anyone else is a product of my own fevered imagination.

                       Meeting the Powers that Be

By Elizabeth M. Lawrence (luckyliz@mindspring.com) and Kathleen M. Wilson 
(Psistriker@worldnet.att.net)

Comments always welcome. (This is a hint, people <G>) Other stories in the 
Elaine Saga can be found at http://members.aol.com/psistriker/pubpage.htm and
http://www.mindspring.com/~luckyliz/.


This was not a good day for the receptionist.

All week long, she had been fending off calls. Would there be a sixth season? 
Would Duncan get a permanent girlfriend? How many episodes would Methos be 
in? Would Amanda finally be allowed to take someone's head? Can't the writers 
come up with decent female Immortals? Would Joe get some? Are they finally 
going to bump off Kenny?

The worst calls had been about Richie.

Someone had let slip that something was going to happen to the young Immortal 
at the end of season five. Needless to say, his fans were _not_ happy.

It had been enough to give her a splitting headache.

And to top it all off, this ... this harridan had shown up at her desk a 
half-hour ago demanding to see whoever was in charge.

She was determined not to let the battle-ax in. Even if she did carry a 
sword. A very _big_ sword.

"Listen, ya bloody bitch, I want to see the Powers that Be and I want to see 
them today. Are you going to let me in or am I going to have to get angry?" 
the hellcat said, trying to stare her down.

"I'm sorry, Miss Andraven," the receptionist said for the umpteenth time. 
"None of the people you want to speak to are in today. If you would care to 
come back tomor--"

A melodic laugh interrupted them.

Aria turned towards the voice. A blonde woman in a chic, brown wrap-dress and 
a matching ribbon around her neck stood by the door. "And what would you be 
laughing at?" Aria asked.

"Yah nevah goin' tah get past hah like that," the newcomer said.

"And I suppose ya think ya could do better?"

Instead of answering, the newcomer merely rolled her eyes. "Watch this," her 
expression said.

She strolled over to the desk and leaned on the edge, facing the 
receptionist. 

"Hello. Mah name's Elaine. What's yahs?"

The receptionist looked at her suspiciously, but she did give it. "Haversham. 
Melanie Haversham.

"Melanay. My, that's a pahday name," Elaine began in a sympathetic tone. 
"It's been a hahd day, hasn' it, Melanay? Ah bet the phone hasn' stopped 
rin'in' all day."

Haversham's eyes were beginning to turn glassy. "All week," she mumbled.

"All week then," Elaine corrected herself, reaching out to take one of 
Haversham's hands in hers. "An' Ah bet yah haven' had a moment's peace."

"No. No peace," Haversham said faintly.

"An' by now, yah mus' have the mos' hahrendous headache."

"Very bad."

"An' tah top it all off, this dreadful woman bahst in heah an' stahted makin' 
threats. Am Ah right?" Elaine cooed.

"Bitch," Haversham confirmed.

"Melanay, why don' yah take a nap?" the blonde suggested. "Ah'm sure yah'll 
feel be'ah if yah do."

"Can't," Haversham objected. "Gotta protect the boss."

"Is he the one who wan's tah knock off Richay Ryan?" Elaine's voice took on a 
decidedly harder edge.

Haversham nodded dimly.

"Is he up theah now?"

Haversham nodded again.

"Wheah?"

Haversham gave her the office number and told her how to get there.

"Melanay, lis'en verrah caahfulay tah meh. Yah abou' tah take a fifteen 
minute nap," Elaine said. "When yah wake up, none of th pas' half-hour will 
have evah happened. It was an ahdinahrah day with the usual phone calls an' 
_no_ _visitahs_. Got that?"

"No visitors," Haversham echoed after her.

"Good. Now go tah sleep, deah, an' when yah wake up, yah'll feel much be'ah."

Haversham very obediently laid her head on the desk and started snoring.

Elaine looked over at Aria. "Piece of cake." Then she turned and walked to 
the elevators. Aria quickly followed after her.

There was an awkward silence while the two checked each other out. Aside from 
their size, neither one of them being very big, they didn't seem to have much 
in common. Elaine was in her thirties, Aria in her twenties. Aria had the 
golden tan of someone who spent a lot of time in the sun. Elaine was so pale 
you could see the veins in her skin. Aria had the athletic body of someone 
who worked out a lot. This gave her movements a grace and practiced lightness 
of someone in complete control of herself. In short, a warrior. Elaine had a 
grace about her, too, but hers came from a different course. She was built 
more like Marilyn Monroe or Bridgette Bardot than an athlete. Every move she 
made, from the way she strolled instead of walked to the honey in her voice 
was an unconscious assault on the senses. There was an air of danger about 
her, which only added to her appeal. This was a woman who could have anyone 
she wanted and knew it.

Both of the women were intelligent and they knew it. They each knew how to 
get what they wanted, even if their means of doing so were different, and 
heaven help anyone who got in their way. Neither was very big, yet there was 
an aura of strength about them both. It was the source of the strength that 
made the difference between them.

Aria's strength came from several lifetimes of competing with men twice her 
size, an incredible faith in herself and the Great Mother, a deep devotion to 
honor and duty, and the fact that she could be a pig-headed little bitch 
whenever she wanted to be.

As for Elaine, Elaine was a Survivor. Her life had been filled with one 
horror after another -- things that individually would have destroyed a 
lesser person, let alone the combination. Yet Elaine had somehow survived it 
and this gave her a stubbornness and a strength to get through anything. She 
had even managed to face down Death -- quite literally telling Death to take 
a hike -- and won. There was simply nothing more that could be done to her 
and she knew it.

Aria broke the silence first. "So, you're a friend of Richie's."

Elaine turned away from Aria to wait for the elevator, essentially ignoring 
her. "Uh-huh."

"Good friends?"

"Yup."

"How good?"

Elaine took a deep breath and looked at Aria. "Le' meh guess, yah mus' beh 
the li'le tramp cahrentlay wahmin' Richay's sheets," she cooed. "Ah do hope 
yah bags ah packed. Yah leavin'."

"Don'cha think ya ought to be askin' Richie that?"

"Whai?" Elaine tilted her head almost innocently. "Ah alreaday know what the 
ansah will beh. Face it deah, Richay is, was an' always will beh mine."

"Ya think so?"

"Mah deah, Ah know sah." The elevator doors opened and Elaine stopped inside.

Aria snorted and followed after her. "Ya don't say. Funny how it's been m'bed 
he's been in lately. And now that ya mention it, I don't remember him ever 
mentionin' you in his list of old girlfriends. I wonder why that is."

"Do yah think Richay's tol' yah ev'rythin' abou' himself?" the blonde purred. 
"He talks a lot, but the reallay impahtant stuff? That he onlay shaahs with 
those he _truelay_ caahs abou'. Shoahlay yah noticed that." The tone in her 
voice carried a silent message: If yah reallay knew as much abou' Richay as 
yah say, yah ought tah know that. But since yah don', maybeh yah not as close 
as yah think. "An' as fah who's bed he's been in latelay, Ah don' caah who 
Richay's screwin' when Ah'm not aroun'. But Ah'm back."

Aria's eyes narrowed in anger, hiding the flash of pain that had been there a 
second before. "Aye, well that explains it," she said, her voice cold. 
"Richie's only told me about true loves. We're still gettin' around to all 
the little harlots that have shared his bed over the years. I'm sure that's 
wh--"

"AH'M NO WHOAH!" Snarling, Elaine lashed out with her right hand, catching 
Aria's cheek with her nails.

Aria put a hand to her face. It came back dripping blood. "You bloody BITCH!" 
The scratches were already healing, but they still stung. She took a step 
closer to Elaine, determined to teach her a lesson. Only Elaine was no longer 
in front of her.

She heard a giggle behind her. Turning, Aria found Elaine calmly licking the 
blood from her fingertips.

"How the hell?"

"Yah Immahtal," Elaine cut her off. The change in Elaine's voice took Aria by 
surprise. It was almost ... affectionate? "Yah reallay love him," she 
continued in between licks. "This isn' jus' a flin' fah eithah of yah. An' Ah 
cn see what he likes abou' yah. Did yah reallay know Mollay Pitcher?"

"How do you know that?" Aria asked, suspicious.

"Yah blood tol' meh," the blonde answered.

"My blood.... What are ya, some kind of vampire?"

Elaine smiled, showing off a pair of _very_ long canines. "What do yah think 
one of the thin's Ah love abou' Richay is? Ah can' kill him. Look, weh both 
caah fah Richay' an' in case yah've fahgo'en, weh'ah both heah tryin' tah 
save him. Sah why don' weh get his cute li'le butt out of the slin' fahst an' 
then weh cn go back tah killin' each othah la'ah. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Sah weh cn staht ovah?" Elaine asked hopefully. She held out a hand. "Ah'm 
Elaine Fahrestah an' Ah'm sahrah Ah slapped yah."

"Aria Andraven and it's already healed."

"Still, Ah shouldn' have done it."  She paused, staring at Aria. "Theah's 
still some blood on yah cheek. Why don' Ah jus'...."

Before Aria had a chance to answer, Elaine reached up and licked the spot 
clean. Elaine pulled back just enough to gaze at her with eyes that had 
changed from a deep blue to a warm gold.

Fortunately for Aria, anything else Elaine had planned was interrupted by the 
elevator doors opening. Aria quickly left, followed more slowly by Elaine.



The man behind the desk pulled out his sword and set it within easy reach. 
It'd been several years since he'd been challenged. Most of the time, they 
couldn't get past the several layers of secretaries he'd carefully set up.

The door opened and two women, one of them carrying a sword, stepped through.

He stood up, determined to take the advantage. "I don't know how you ladies 
got past my secretaries...."

"Yah know, it was the oddes' thin'," the blonde, the one without the sword 
interrupted. "Fah some reason, they all seem tah have gone home ahlay today. 
Ah do hope yah don' mind. It'll give us a chance tah talk." Blondie walked 
around the desk, shoving him back into his chair. "Sit down, Sugah. Weh'ah 
not aftah yah head." 

Leaning on the back of his chair, she turned to the brunette. "Aria, why don' 
yah staht. Yah be'ah at this then Ah am."

"We want," Aria started, "to talk about Richie."

Oh Gods, not more Ryan fanatics.

The blonde tapped him on the shoulder. "Ah hahd that. Beh nice."

He hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud.

"Yah didn'," she answered. "Now pay attention."

"So, you ladies want to discuss Ryan," the man said.

"It's about the rumors," the brunette recommenced.

"Rumors?" he asked.

"Abou' the las' episode." Blondie answered.

"The ones about Richie gettin' the chop," Aria clarified.

"Weh don' _like_ those rumahs." The blonde placed a hand on his shoulder and 
squeezed _just_ enough.

"What can I say, except they're all true." Smirking, he leaned back in his 
chair, shoving the blonde off him.

Aria's smile sent chills down his spine. "Oh good," she said. "Now I won't 
feel so bad when I rip your dick out through your nose."

"Now, Sugah, beh nice," the blonde admonished.

"I thought I was, Elaine," Aria replied. "After all, I did assume he had a 
dick. I could have just gone with m'original assumption that he was a 
dickless weenie with no balls and --"

"Ah think he gets the point, deah," Elaine interrupted. Of course, if she 
hadn't been playing good cop to Aria's bad cop, she would have been laughing 
her ass off at the warrior woman's on-target comments.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, I do have a wee bit of a tendency to get carried away 
sometimes," Aria said. "Now then, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to see 
how far I could shove m'broadsword up your arse before it popped out the top 
of your pointy little head unless you start talkin' and tell us how to fix 
this blasted thing."

The man sighed. "Look, ladies, I appreciate your complaints, but you're 
really taking this up with the wrong person," he said. "I'm just the 
producer, you need to speak with the writer."

Aria snorted. "Don't give me that, ya daft git," she replied. "I own a 
production company, I know how these things work. The writer, especially the 
really daft one who created this piece of trash, has no power. You okayed the 
script, you okayed the endin', and you're gonna pay for it."

"Ah'd lis'en tah hah if Ah was yah," Elaine said. "She has such a lousay 
tempah an' Ah don' know if Ah cn stop hah."

Aria leaned forward, her eyes flashing with a fire that could burn down half 
the city before she blinked. "And we're not on holy ground, bashta," she 
hissed. "So there's nothin' to stop me from --"

"Aria, look what Ah found," Elaine interrupted, pulling the man's sword from 
its hiding place. "Ah haven' seen one of these since, well, nevah mind."

"Hey, Doll. Be careful with that. It's sharp," the man warned. The last thing 
he needed was an amateur waving his sword around.

"The name's Elaine Fahrestah, not Doll, an' Ah do know how tah use one of 
these thin's," she snapped, laying the blade alongside his neck just long 
enough for him to start wondering what she was up to, then removing it. "Do 
yah know what the prahblem with some of these oldah blades is?" She ran a 
finger smoothly along the steel, carefully inspecting it. "The prahblem is, 
they'ah sah fragile. Sometimes, no ma'ah what yah do, all it takes is the 
right amoun' of presshah...." Gripping the sword with both hands, she 
suddenly flexed -- and it broke in two. "....An' they snap." She tossed the 
remains into his lap. "Now, Ah believe weh wah discussin' some script 
changes."

The man gulped nervously. That was Damascus Steel. It shouldn't have broken 
like that. "Look, ladies, the show's been shot. The actors have all gone 
home. Face it, the kid's toast."

Growling, Elaine grabbed the man's tie. "_That_ was the wron' ansah."

The man found himself flying across the room, landing in a heap against the 
far wall.

Elaine slowly stalked towards him, eyes blazing red. "Yah know, nahmallay, Ah 
try tah avoid killin', but in yah case, Ah'll make an exception." She yanked 
him up so they were face to face. "This is goin 'tah beh fun." Tossing him 
over her shoulder again, she raced ahead of him. Instead of catching him, 
though, she merely held out one hand.

Aria winced at the squelching sound made when his chest collided with 
Elaine's nails. "Ooh, that had to smart."

Fingers still embedded in his ribcage, Elaine walked forward, pushing him 
back until he bumped into the desk. She continued moving, forcing him to lie 
down as she climbed on top, straddling his waist.

"Do yah know why Ah don' like killin' mahtals? They die way too easilay. It's 
no fun." Blood spurted on the ceiling as Elaine yanked her hand free. The man 
screamed. "Immahtals, on the othah hand, yah cn keep alive fah days. Months 
even." Out of nowhere, a knife appeared in her hand as she turned to Aria. 
"Yah might wan' tah leave the room. This is abou' tah become verrah ... 
messay." She turned back to her prey, tapping the knife against her cheek. 
"Now, wheah shall Ah staht? Ah know. The chest. Such a nice, lahge areah tah 
play with." One by one, the buttons of his shirt went flying.

"Elaine, wait," Aria interrupted.

"Why?" Elaine snarled at her.

"Because there still may be a way out of this an' he can't answer questions 
if he's dead," the warrior woman answered.

Elaine growled, acknowledging Aria's point. Grabbing the man by his chest 
hair, she pulled him into a sitting position. "Congratulations. Yah ju' ahned 
a reprive. Now, yah goin' tah beh a good li'le boy an' ansah mah friend's 
questions." She twisted her grip, forcing an agonized yelp from him. "Right?"

He nodded frantically.

"Good." Elaine closed her eyes and concentrated. When she opened them again, 
they were back to their normal color. Climbing off him, she hopped from the 
desk, once more the gentile Southern belle.

"Go on, ask yah questions. Ah'm goin' tah the nex' room tah wash mah hands. 
Ah hate havin' tah dig dried blood out from undah mah nails," she explained, 
inspecing her fingers. "Oh damn. Aria? In mah pahse, yah'll find an em'ray 
bahd. Would yah mind ge'in' it fah meh? Ah chipped a nail on his stahnum."

Aria handed Elaine the file and watched her disappear into the bathroom.

"You said they've finished the shooting," she said after Elaine was gone. 
"What else has been done?"

"I'm not sure," he answered. "They're still in post-production."

"So nothing's really final then," she realized. "Right. I want to see what 
you have so far."

"That would take a little time to arrange," he said, trying to put her off.

Elaine reappeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on a paper towel. "Then Ah 
sugges' yah go 'n' arrange it."

The man nodded and headed for the door.

"An' Sugah?" she called him back. "While yah at it, change yah pants."

She waited until he had left the room, the strolled over to Aria. "Thanks fah 
stoppin' meh. Ah nahmallay don' go off the deep end like that, but Ah don' 
le' anyone screw with what's mine."

There was a thinly veiled threat in her words, but she was also smiling and 
her eyes were twinkling. Aria couldn't figure out if it was aimed at her or 
not, so she decided to ignore it.

"I didn't know vampires were telepathic," she said instead.

Elaine grinned impishly. "Got yah, too, huh? Weh'ah not. But he doesn' know 
that. Ah jus' wan'ed tah scaah the stuffin' out of him." She wrinkled her 
nose. "Onlay Ah didn' mean it quite sah li'trallay."

The man returned and escorted them into another room to watch the episode. 
When it was done, both women sat there in total shock.

Finally, Elaine spoke. "This is bad. Real bad."

"Uh huh," Aria agreed.

"Weh can' allow this."

"Nope."

"Got any ideas?"

"Yup," Aria said. "We're goin' to screw this episode so badly nobody will 
believe it."

"Um, how?" Elaine asked. "Ah hate soundin' ignahren', but the las' time Ah 
had anythin' much tah do with the film industray was when Ah was trapped in a 
movay theatah fah a day an' ended up si'in' through moah showin's of Ishtah 
then Ah caah tah remembah. Since then Ah've avoided the whole mess. Besides, 
mah specialay's medicine, not television."

"It's very simple," Aria told her. "I'll tell ya on the way to the office."



The man behind the desk sat up straight as the door flew off its hinges. Oh 
Gods, not again.

He had hoped that by showing them the video they would get the hint and give 
up. Instead, they were back and more determined than ever.

This time it was Elaine who look the lead.

"Hello, Sugah." She walked around the desk and perched on the arm of his 
chair, practically sitting in his lap. "My, that's a nice shaht," she said, 
running a slightly chipped fingernail down the front. "Aria 'n' Ah wan' tah 
have anothah chat with yah. Yah will beh a good boy an' lis'en closelay, won' 
yah? A would hate tah beh fahced tah ruin anothah one."

He nodded, fervently wishing he had not gotten out of bed that morning.

"Good. Now, that was a real nice episode, but theah ah a couple of thin's weh 
wan' changed." The blonde turned to Aria. "Aria, he's all yahs."

"Here's what ya gonna do...." With a very determined look on her face, Aria 
detailed the changes almost non-stop for the next several minutes. Only one 
time did she interrupt herself. "Elaine, do ya hafta do that? It's 
distractin' me an' it's makin' him nervous."

"Hmmm?" Elaine looked up from where she had been fondling the man's neck. 
"Oh, sahrah." She removed her hand, letting Aria continue.

The man's face lost color as he listened to Aria's plans, until he was paler 
than Elaine.

A giant red cloud? Glowing red eyes? This was going to change the whole 
episode. Before it had been a masterpiece of psychological terror, watching 
MacLeod descend farther and farther into madness until he finally kills his 
own student. Now? He wasn't sure there was a word to describe how bad it was 
going to be. Hammeresque came to mind. So did Edwoodsian.

And to remove that one scene between Dawson and Methos? That was the scene 
explaining _why_ they weren't helping MacLeod. Without it, they were going to 
come off looking like a pair of rats.

Even Elaine seemed shocked by that idea. "Aria, yah can' do that, not tah mah 
Joe. That's _hahrible_."

"I know," Aria admitted. "I hate doin' that to Methos, what with him and me 
havin' a history and all. And I really like Joe, I do. And as soon as I get 
back to Seacouver, I'm gonna give him a big ol' hug and kiss over the way he 
made that actor of his cry over Richie. But think about it, Elaine. We can't 
have anyone happy with this episode. If any character comes out smellin' like 
roses, it'll ruin everythin'."

Elaine thought it over. "What cn Ah say, when yah right, yah right. Ah like 
the way yah think, gahl," she grinned, then turned to the man next to her. 
"Do it!" It was not a request.

"Let me make a few phone calls," he said. He picked up the phone and began 
pushing buttons.

"Put it on speaker," Aria ordered. "I want to hear this."

Still cowed, he looked at Elaine, who nodded. "Yes, ma'am," he mumbled.

He finished dialing and the phone started ringing at the other end. Finally, 
someone picked it up.

"FX Department," a voice announced.

"How far have you gotten with Call to Glory?" he asked.

"We're almost done. Why?"

"There's been a change of plans." He carefully repeated Aria's suggestions. 
When he was done, there was a long silence at the other end. Then --

"I don't know.... Changes that big at this point.... Not only would it blow 
the rest of this season's budget, but half of next season's as well. There'd 
only be enough money for thirteen episodes."

"Dannay? That yah?" Elaine interrupted.

"Elaine?"

"What'ah yah doin' heah?" she asked. "The las' Ah hahd, yah wah in Torontah 
wahkin' as the night tech at some tv station theah."

"Yeah, well, Nick decided it was time for me to leave," Danny answered.

"Neeki? Whatevah did yah do tah get on his bad side?"

Danny mumbled something too low for the Immortals to understand.

"Yah ra'ed on Neeki?" Elaine laughed. "Yah goin' tah have tah tell meh abou' 
it. But la'ah," she added, remembering the others in the room. "Right now, 
weh have an episode tah change."



Several days later, Elaine and Aria were back at the studio, watching the 
finished episode. Again, there was silence when it was over, only this time 
it was for a very different reason.

"This is ... hahrible," Elaine finally said.

"Yup," Aria agreed.

"Think the fans will buy it?" the blonde asked.

"Nope."

"Good."

The two women looked at each other and collapsed into giggles.

Elaine watched Aria, waiting for the right moment. If this didn't work....

Praying she knew what she was doing, Elaine reached up and very softly kissed 
Aria.

Aria wasn't quite sure how she wanted to respond. She wasn't shocked; lesbian 
affairs were a common occurrence among the Andravens. She'd just never been 
interested before. But it was a very nice kiss. Not exactly passionate, there 
was a definite invitation in that kiss, but it also said the next step was up 
to her. If it weren't for Richie....

Elaine reached out to touch Aria's hair, then stopped, reluctant to push 
things any further.

"Yah know, weh make a pahday good team," she said. "It would beh a real shame 
tah kill yah. Ah don' suppose weh could go somewheah an' wahk this out? Say, 
ovah a drink? Ah know this nice li'le place downtown.... Weh could make it a 
vict'ray celebration." The words came out in a rush, almost as if Elaine was 
afraid Aria would turn her down.

"Sounds good to me," Aria agreed. "After all, where I come from, we always 
followed up a victory with a good drink. Or a bad drink, we weren't very 
particular."

"Ah know." Elaine smiled and just for a second her eyes flashed gold. "Ah'll 
even promise not tah drag out the pictahs of the gran'kids."

Aria perked up immediately. "You have grandchildren?"

"A couple. One of them's a coronah up in Torontah." Elaine wrapped her arm 
around Aria's waist and led her to theelevator. Aria didn't know it yet, but 
Elaine had plans for her and Richie.

THE END