DISCLAIMER:  Okay, here we go again. I'm sure you all know this, but just in 
case you don't, Kat and Liz didn't create all of these characters. Big 
surprise there, right? Of the three main characters, Aria belongs to Kat and 
Elaine belongs to Liz. Richie belongs to both of us and the rest of the Clan 
Denial because, hey, we're the ones who keep giving him a sex life. If you 
were Richie, would you want to go back to the idiots at Davis/Panzer? There 
are a few more Highlander characters mentioned in here, but none of them 
actually appear in this story. They don't belong to us anyway. There are also 
some Forever Knight characters mentioned in this story and just like the 
Highlander characters, they don't belong to us either. As for everyone else? 
Well, you got us there. Kat and Liz did create them all, but we forgot who 
did who exactly. Well, Kat did do Lou first and Liz pretty much created 
Markie (who, by the way, is based on a real friend of hers who died of AIDS 
several years ago), but beyond that? Who knows.

Oh yeah, and all cameo appearances are done with full permission of their 
ReaLife(TM) counterparts. Except for the idiot in chapter the twelfth. We 
didn't ask him. ;-)


                Two May Be Company, But Three's A Lot More Fun

By Elizabeth M. Lawrence (luckyliz@mindspring.com) and Kathleen M. Wilson 
(Psistriker@worldnet.att.net)


Comments always welcome. (This is a hint, people <G>) Other stories in the 
Elaine Saga can be found at http://members.aol.com/psistriker/pubpage.htm and 
http://www.mindspring.com/~luckyliz/.


The dark shape flew along the San Francisco skyline, checking her location 
with a map.

**Face it, gahl, yah lost. Street maps jus' ain' made fah vampiahs.**

She stuffed the map in her bag, then looked up just in time to stop herself 
from crashing into a building.

**Damn. When did they put this thin' up?** She circled around it, laughing 
mentally. **_This_ is supposed tah beh a pyramid? Has the ahchitect even been 
tah Egypt? Prahbablay not.**

She found a convenient ledge and sat down on it. Since the map was no help, 
that left only one way to figure out where she was going. She just hoped they 
were close enough to feel them.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated. It was faint, but it was there. Two 
little beacons of light in a sea of darkness. Of course, it had to be on the 
other side of town. Oh well, maybe she could pick up a bite to eat on the 
way.

It took her a while, but she finally found the new house with the skylight. 
It was real sweet of Richie to install it for her.

It would have been even sweeter if someone had bothered to tell her the code 
that unlocked it.

She sat down next to it and tried to figure it out. Since they presumably 
wanted her to use it, it ought to be something easy. She tried first 070275, 
then 100442. Nothing. So it wasn't Jimmy's birth or death dates. What else? 
Not her wedding date, she never told them that. Not the day she died. That 
left -- she quickly punched in 021453. The skylight quietly swung open.

Cute guys, real cute. They _knew_ she hated her birthday. Another friggin' 
reminder of things she'd rather forget.

She slipped inside and closed the skylight after her. Quickly locating Aria 
and Richie, she decided to look around before letting them know she was here.

Not bad. A little smaller and lower class than she was used to, but she'd 
lived in worse places. And it was just like Richie to not want to live off of 
her or Aria's money.

The kitchen was interesting. Apparently, the air conditioner had broken down 
earlier and someone had been trying to fix it. The reason why it was still in 
pieces was obvious. Neither Richie nor Aria had done a very good job of 
cleaning up.

She smiled and headed upstairs. Her two favorite Immortals were in for a 
surprise....



Richie pressed Aria up against the shower wall, kissing her passionately.

"Richie," Aria groaned. "Will you knock it off?"

"Why?" Richie asked as he nuzzled her neck. "You weren't arguing like this 
earlier."

Aria tried to push him away. "Richie, I mean it," she said.

"Ah, you're no fun," Richie sighed. "How's the spray?"

"Could stand to be a little to the left," Aria answered.

"Not a problem," Richie replied. "How's this?!" He pulled the shower massager 
out of its holder and pointed it right at her.

Aria let out a shriek. "Richie! Cut it out!" She held her hands up, trying to 
block her face from the spray.

"Okay, how's this?" Richie moved the spray around and hit her in the butt 
instead.

Aria jumped out of the way. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that," she promised.

"Oh yeah?" Richie countered.

"Yeah."

"I don't think so." Richie hit her with the spray again.

Aria fought her way through the spray, intent on tickling him. "Die, you 
male!"

Richie tried to fight her off while still spraying her with the shower 
massager. "Never, woman!" he laughed.

The two soon became so involved with their play that neither one of them 
noticed when the shower door opened just enough for a hand to slip in.

Aria screamed as the nice warm spray was suddenly replaced by ice cold water. 
"What the bloody --"

A familiar laugh filled the room. Richie pushed the door aside to reveal 
Elaine leaning smugly against the wall.

"Ah noticed what y'all had been doin' in the kitchen. An' on the staahs. An' 
the table. An' the couch," she said. "Don' yah _evah_ make it tah bed?"

"Not when you're around," Richie answered, turning the water on her.

Elaine squealed, trying to duck the blast. "Watch it! These ah mah fav'rite 
flyin' leathahs. It took meh ages tah get them broken in right."

"She's right, ya know," Aria agreed, squeezing past Richie. "Good leathers 
are hard to find. So...." Her eyes gleamed mischievously, causing Elaine to 
slowly back out of the room. "....We'll have to get rid of them."

Aria pounced on Elaine, dragging her to the floor. Richie joined them and the 
two Immortals proceeded to remove Elaine's clothing until she was as naked as 
they were. They continued the attack, tickling her until she begged them to 
stop.

"Give up?" Aria asked.

Not by half. "Still ahn' in bed, ah weh?"

Richie and Aria looked at each other, silently agreeing on a plan of action.

Despite being the smallest of the three, Elaine could easily lift the other 
two with one hand. It still didn't prevent her from being picked up and 
thrown over Richie's shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Not a good move on Richie's part. Halfway down the hall he suddenly yelped 
and hit his head on the ceiling.

"She bit me!"

"Then don' stick yah ass in mah face," Elaine snarled.

Aria very carefully lifted the blonde's head. Sure enough, there was a nice 
set of teeth marks embedded in Richie's rump, punctuated by two deeper holes. 

"'Laine, that's not very nice," Aria gently chided.

"Neithah's throwin' meh ovah a shouldah," Elaine shot back.

"Promise me you won't do it again."

"Why? Yah wan' tah do it yahself?"

Instead of answering, Aria found a spot on Elaine's neck and placed a finger 
on it. "Promise me."

Elaine sighed. That particular spot was the vampire equivalent of a Ferengi's 
ear. "No faah."

The touch turned into a stroke.

"A-riiiiiiiii," the vampire whined.

More stroking. "Promise me."

Elaine did try to resist what Aria was doing. Unfortunately for her, once 
Aria had learned about that spot, she'd gotten very good at it very quickly. 
The blonde never had a chance.

"All right. Ah prahmise," she said, giving in.

"Promise what?" Aria wanted to make sure.

"Ah prahmise not tah bite Richay's verrah adahrable ass as lon' as Ah'm in 
this verrah indignant an' highlay embarrassin' position," Elaine vowed. 
"Happay?"

"Very." Aria removed her hand.

"Yah don' have tah stop," Elaine pouted.

"Have patience, dear," Aria told her. "Patience is a virtue."

"Ah'm not that vahtuous," the blonde reminded her. "Ah thought yah knew 
that."

"Later," Aria promised.

Richie went back to walking.

True to her word, Elaine didn't bite Richie again. Still, a few steps later, 
he stopped.

"What now?" Aria asked.

"She's licking me," he answered.

"Ah prahmised no bi'in'. Ah nevah said nothin' abou' no lickin'," Elaine 
smirked.

Aria was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Well, it's not like 
she's hurtin' ya."

"No, but she's making it hard to walk," he replied.

"So I noticed." Aria eyed the effects of Elaine's efforts. "Then maybe you'd 
better hurry."

Richie carefully double-timed the rest of the way to the bedroom, waited for 
Aria to pull down the covers, then deposited Elaine on the bed.

"Well?" Richie and Aria asked.

Elaine pretended to inspect the sheets. "Ah admit, theah ah some signs of 
usage. But fah all Ah know, they could've been used elsewheah an' put on 
dahtay. Ah'm afraid yah jus' goin' tah have tah prove it."

Which, of course, was exactly what Aria and Richie had in mind.



That morning, Elaine came downstairs to find Richie and Aria in the kitchen. 

"Mahnin', y'all," she said, before spending the next several minutes kissing 
each of the Immortals. "Aria, what ah yah doin'?" 

What Aria was doing was obvious. She was standing in front of the stove, 
fiddling with something that looked vaguely like food. The question was _why_ 
she was doing it. "Fixin' breakfast," she answered.

"No, yah ain', Shalla," Elaine objected. "Ah've tasted the way yah cook. Give 
meh the spatula."

"One of these days I'm gonna fix you guys m'recipe for squirrel stew so 
you'll quit bitchin' about the way I cook," Aria grumped. 

"Actually, Ah used tah rathah like squahl," Elaine noted. "Coons wahn' bad 
eithah. It was the shoes Ah ha'ed."

Richie had to ask. "Elaine, you've eaten _shoes?_" 

"Yup, the blonde nodded. "A wahd of advice, Richay, Nevah beh on the losin' 
end of a wah. Espec'allay when the othah side has all the supplays."

Aria flopped into one of the kitchen chairs. "Never had to eat m'shoes," she 
said. "Ate m'horse once, but never m'shoes." 

Richie's eyes grew wide. "You ate your horse?" 

"Stringiest damn thing I ever tasted too," she nodded. "Muscular horses are 
good for ridin' and fightin', but they ain't worth shit for eatin'." 

Richie paled. "I think I may be losing my appetite," he groaned. 

The two women shared a glance. 

"Ah don' believe it," Elaine said. 

"What?" Richie asked. 

"The Bottomless Pit just lost his appetite," Aria answered. 

"Very funny, guys," Richie answered. "So what's the latest news from the 
studio?" 

Elaine groaned. So much for her good mood. "Would yah believe those idiots 
actually _bought_ that piece of crap Aria came up with? Theah people out 
theah who think Duncan reallay killed yah."

"Talk about losin' your appetite," Aria grimaced. "Disgustin'."

"Isn' it, though," the blonde agreed. "It's almos' enough fah meh tah break 
the Code jus' tah show them what reallay happened in Paris."

"What did happen anyway?" Richie asked. "I mean, one minute I'm in Paris, 
getting whacked by Mac, then I'm living in San Francisco and Paris was all a 
dream, then I'm a character on a TV show. Sometimes, I can't even keep the 
number of girlfriends I have straight." 

Elaine turned down the stove while she rummaged through a cupboard, pulling 
out several spice bottles. "Don' yah jus' love quan'um univahses? Heinlein 
would have had a field day with us. But Ah thought aftah las' night yah'd at 
least beh able tah remembah how manay gahlfriends yah have. Oh shall weh 
remind yah?"

"Later," Aria admonished.

"Yah takin' all the fun out of this, yah know that, don' yah?" Elaine pouted.

"I'm starvin'," Aria replied, burhisng her bands out of her eyes. "So if ya 
want anythin' more out of me than a bad attitude, you're gonna have to feed 
me first." 

"I thought that was my line," Richie teased. 

Aria stuck her tongue out at him. "Look, Richie, all you need to know is that 
you're alive and well and that we both love you," she said. "We'll fill in 
the rest of the details when you're older." 

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Richie asked, hurt. 

"It means that at twentay-two, yah reallay too youn' tah undahstand all 
this," Elaine answered, sniffing and tossing some of the spices in.

Hell, I didn't get it until I was two hundred," Aria added. 

Richie sighed. "I'm beginning to understand what Reality meant about 
dimension hopping being a pain in the ass." 

"Who?" Aria and Elaine asked. 

Richie shook his head. "Uh, nobody. So, 'Laine, other than dealing with the 
morons who used to control my life, what else have you been up to?" 

"Well, aftah Ah woke up an' lef' y'all in bed, an' Ah still can' believe Ah 
did that, Ah've nevah done it befoah without help, Ah made a phone call tah 
that fashion designah friend Ah tol' yah abou' Ari," the blonde answered. "Ah 
hope yah don' mind, but weh have an appoin'men' with him on Thahsday."

Aria snorted. "And just what in the bloody hell is wrong with m'wardrobe?" 
she asked. 

"Nothin', Shalla," Elaine assured her. "It jus' needs a li'le wahk."

"But I like the way Ari dresses," Richie said. 

"Obviouslay, since y'all seem tah beh shaahrin' the same wahdrobe la'elay," 
Elaine replied.

Aria shot her a dirty look. "Just because you dress like an out-take from 
Frederick's of Hollywood doesn't mean we all have to, 'Laine." 

"An' what's that supposed tah mean?"

"Nothing," Aria replied. "On you, sexy works. But if I tried some of your 
stuff, I'd get laughed out the bleedin' boardroom. It's nothing personal, 
love. It just ain't m'thing." 

Elaine tossed her a very fetching pout. "But Ah jus' wan'ed tah do this fah 
yah, Ari," she replied, running a hand down the other woman's side. "Yah got 
such a wondahful boday, an' Ah wan' ev'ryone tah see is."

"But I can't fight in your wardrobe," Aria pointed out. 

"What if Ah promise yah'll beh able tah fight in anythin' weh get?" Elaine 
asked.

"No," Aria answered. "Look, Raltra, your clothes are wonderful on you, but 
they're just not me." 

"Please?" Elaine pouted. 

"No," Aria replied. 

"Pahday please?" 

"No!" 

"Pahday please with choc'lat sahrup on top?"

"What part of no don't you understand, 'Laine?" 

Richie shook his head. "Ari, you might as well give in now," he said. 
"Elaine's even more persuasive than you are." 

Aria rolled her eyes. "All right, but I get final say on any outfit, got it?" 

"A'cahse, Ari," Elaine replied. Although something about the tone of her 
voice didn't leave Aria feeling very confident about her position in all 
this. 

"All se'led then. An' since yah the hungray one heah, yah get tah taste 
this." Elaine popped a spoon full of food into Aria's mouth. 

Aria let out a yelp. 

"Oh, too hot?" Elaine asked, concerned. 

"Dou could thay dat," Aria answered, fanning her burnt lips. "Ward thomebody dext dime, why don't da?" 

"Ah'm sahrah," the blonde repeated. "Ah fahget sometimes y'all have tah 
worrah abou' tem'ratuahs. Yah sah delicate.

"Anyway, that's all mah news," Elaine finished. "What've y'all been up tah? 
Yah tol' meh yah wah movin' tah San Franciscah, but yah fahgot tah give meh 
the address. Good thin' weh've shaahed enough blood Ah cn locate y'all without 
it."

"Only because you never called and asked for them," Richie pointed out. 
"There's this wonderful thing called a phone, you can use it to get in touch 
with anyone you need to. All you had to do was tell us you were coming and we 
would have been more than happy to let you know how to get here." 

"He's got ya there, love," Aria teased. "But we really haven't been up to 
much. Just fixin' up the house, hangin' out with Lou, same ol' same ol'." 

"Theah's alsah this thin' called a phone numbah, which is requiahed in ahdah 
tah use said phone," Elaine reminded them. "Who's Lou?"

"The original owner of the house," Richie answered. "He's a real sweet old 
guy, and, well, he doesn't have any family in the area anymore so we sort of 
adopted him." 

Elaine smiled. Yeah, that sounded like her two lovers all right. "But that 
can' beh all yah been up tah," she said. 

Richie blushed. "Well, I have been checking out a few a course catalogs," he 
admitted. 

Aria grinned. "Yep, I finally got him convinced he's college material," she 
said. "It's about time he started believin' he's as brilliant as we know he 
is." 

"Good," Elaine agreed. "Jus' because Ah ended up mos'lay self-educa'ed doesn' 
mean yah should beh as well."

The blonde thought for a moment. "Ah believe Ah know some of the people on 
the staff of San Franciscah State. If yah wan', Ah could talk tah them, 
maybeh see abou' ge'in' yah a scholahship. This is jus' tah get yah foot in 
the doah, yah undahstand. It's up tah yah what happens aftahwahds."

"And don't think we'll let ya get lax in your studies either," Aria added. 

"Yes, Mothers," Richie teased. 

"Oh, an' that reminds meh," Elaine realized. "Ah need tah see abou' ge'in' 
meh a job. Seein' as how Ah'm tah beh stayin' heah fah a while?"

"Of course you're stayin'," Aria replied. "Why'd ya think we got the king 
size bed with the reinforced steel frame?" That last comment was made with a 
wink in the blonde's direction. 

"That's good." Elaine put down the spatula and produced a ouple of small 
jewelry boxes from the pockets o her robe. "Because Ah'd shoah hate tah have 
tah destroy these aftah Ah've gone tah all the trouble of havin' them made 
up."

"What in the world?" Aria asked. "'Laine, you didn't go buyin' us presents 
now, did you?" 

"Why not? It's mah monay, Ah cn do what Ah wan' with it," the blonde pouted. 
"'Sides, these ain' exactlay gif's Ah'm givin' yah. Theah's a pahpose tah 
them."

Richie opened his. Inside was a gold ring, set with a medium sized amethyst, 
surrounded by six garnet bars. 

"Damn, wron' box." Elaine took the box out of Richie's hand and handed it to 
Aria, giving the one she held to Richie. "Try that one."

This time, the ring was definitely for Richie. The setting was wider, more 
masculine and the center stone was sapphire instead of amethyst. 

"Nice," Richie noted. 

Aria rolled her eyes, barely resisting the urge to make a typical male 
comment. "'Laine, they're absolutely beautiful," she commented instead. "But 
what's the purpose behind 'em?" 

"They'ah tah protect yah when Ah'm not heah," Elaine said. "Hol' them up tah 
the light."

The Immortals did. Inside each of the larger stones was a dark center. It was 
hard to see, but it definitely was there. 

"That's mah blood," the blonde continued. "If anay vampiah gets close enough 
tah attack yah when Ah'm not aroun', he'll sense that an' most' likelay run 
away screamin' when he finds out yah belon' tah meh."

Aria smiled. "Beautiful, slightly romantic, and down right practical," she 
said. "I love it." 

"Especially since that pretty much sums you up to, 'Laine," Richie teased. 

"Sah yah reallay like them? Aw hell! Han' meh a plate, quick!" Elaine turned 
back to the stove, hoping to save the Immortal's breakfast.

Richie held one out to her and she flipped the contents of the skillet onto 
it. 

"Thanks," she smiled at him. "Yah don' have tah weah them on yah fingahs if 
yah don' wan'. Aroun' yah neck on a chain's good enough."

"Now why in the world would I want to go and do that?" Aria asked as she 
slipped the ring onto her right ring finger. "Perfect fit." 

"Ah know," Elaine grinned again. "Ah measuahed yah fingahs while y'all wah 
both out back in Seacouvah. An' if yah'll excuse meh," she stifled a yawn, 
"Ah thin Ah'll go back tah bed. Ah don' wan' tah mess up mah sleep pa'ahns."



"I'll get it!" Aria called out unnecessarily as she headed to the front door. 
After all, she was the only one downstairs. She threw open the door and grinned. 
"Lou!" 

"Hello Aria," Lou Hoskins replied. He was the man who had owned their house 
before Aria and Richie had bought it. His wife was gone and all his children 
had moved out of town, so the young couple had sort of "adopted" him. "I hope 
it's all right that I'm a little early." 

Aria moved out of the way to let him in and then closed the door behind him. 
"No worries, I was just in the middle of heating up lunch." She took his coat 
and hung it up on the rack by the door before leading him towards the 
kitchen. 

"Where's Richie?" Lou asked. 

"Oh, he's upstairs," Aria answered. "I finally found the perfect tub for the 
bathroom and he's hookin' up all the gizmos for the whirlpool and whatnot." 

"Does he need any help?" he asked, brightening. "I used to be pretty handy 
with a wrench back in the old days. Of course, all I ever seem to have 
anymore is old days, but that's another story. Pray you never get old, kid." 

Aria did her best to fight off a snicker. Lou didn't know she was actually 
old enough to be his great great great grandmother. "Actually, Lou, I don't 
think that's such a good idea." 

"Don't think I can keep up with that boyfriend of yours?" Lou asked, hurt. 

Aria quickly shook her head. "Oh no, no, nothing like that, Lou," she 
answered. "More like he can't keep up with you." **Not to mention I don't 
want you findin' out about the naked blonde in m'bed.** 

Lou didn't really seem to buy that. 

Fortunately for Aria, the microwave dinged. 

"That'll be lunch," she explained. "Hope you're in the mood for lasagna." 

Lou raised an eyebrow at how jumpy the young English woman had suddenly 
become. Aria had never really been the type to treat him differently just 
because of his age, so he didn't really think it was that. 

The more he watched her run around the kitchen, chatting up a nervous streak 
while she set up for lunch, it seemed more like she was trying to hide 
something from him. 

Aria finally got everything together and they sat down to eat. 

Lou was rather familiar with her lack of culinary skills, so he took a 
tentative bite and then gasped. "Wow, Ari, this is fantastic," he said. 
"Although it could use more garlic." 

"Richie was just really in the mood for lasagna, but we're all out of garlic 
and neither one of us wanted to run to the store," Aria Shrugged. "But I 
still think it turned out pretty good. 

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream filled the room. 

Aria dropped her fork and ran upstairs. 

Lou followed. 

No wonder Aria had been acting funny. Richie was on the floor holding a naked 
blonde in his arms. The blonde was ... smoking? 

Not cigarette smoking, really smoking. Gray wisps seemed to be coming from 
her skin. 

"What happened?" Aria asked. "I dropped the hammer and the shade went up," 
Richie explained. 

Lou looked at the window. Sunlight streamed through it, landing on the bed. 
The bed was all mussed up, as if someone had been sleeping in it, and also 
smoking. Had the blonde been in it when it had somehow caught fire? Or had 
the sunlight set the blonde on fire? That would mean .... 

"Is she okay?" Aria continued. 

"A little scorched, but that's all," Richie answered. "I managed to pull her 
off before she burst into flames." 

For the first time, the blonde spoke. 

"Would someone mind doin' somethin' abou' the windah?" she asked. "It's sah 
brigh' in heah, Ah can' see."

Aria took care of it. 

The blonde blinked and looked around the room. "Louis?" 

Oh God, it _was_ her. "Mama 'Laine?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she confirmed. "What ah yah doin' heah?" 

"Richie and Aria invited me for lunch," Lou answered. "You?" 

"Flew in a couple nights ago," Elaine said. "Ah'm stayin' with Richay an' 
Aria. Who's mindin' the buildin' these days?"

"A nephew I'm not very fond of," Lou answered. "My youngest was for awhile, 
but he got a better job offer and moved."

"Younges'," the blonde repeated. "That'd beh Kevin, right? Oh did yah 'n' 
Ednah have anothah aftah Ah lef'?"

"No, Kevin was the last," Lou answered. 

Aria stood there, shocked. "Uh, 'Laine, why don't you get fixed up and then 
you and Lou can tell me and Richie what in the bloody hell is goin' on here?" 

"Shoah," Elaine agreed. 

Aria shooed Lou out of the room. 

Richie tried to get up to follow, only Elaine grabbed him arm, stopping him. 

"Stay heah with meh fah a momen', would yah, Kaltock?" Ah need a favah." Murmuring an apology, Elaine sank her teeth into Richie's wrist.



A few minutes later, Richie and Elaine, now dressed, arrived downstairs. 

Noticing that Lou and Aria were in the middle of lunch, Elaine headed for the 
kitchen. She returned carrying a plate and a glass of milk for Richie and her 
usual glass of red wine. 

Aria waited for them to sit down before speaking. "Okay, so who wants to be 
the first to tell me what in the bloody hell was goin' on up there?" she 
asked. 

Elaine and Lou looked at each other. 

"Well, Ah suppose the easayes' way tah staht is by sayin' that Lou is 
Geahge's fathah," Elaine said.

"George? That's the doorman at your building in Seacouver, right?" Richie 
asked. 

"What's that got to do with anythin'?" Aria added. 

"'Laine's a family tradition with us," Lou explained. "She saved my father's 
life and we've been taking care of her ever since." 

"You mean ya know?" Aria asked. 

Lou nodded. "So do all the kids," he answered. 

"Then why the bloody hell did I try to keep you outta the bedroom?!" Aria 
snapped. 

Richie squeezed her shoulder, knowing full well how Aria felt about being 
left out of the loop. 

Elaine winced, though only Richie noticed it. "If Ah'd've known yah Lou was 
mah Lou, Ah would've tol' yah. 'Sides, outside of Lucien, onlay yah 'n' 
Richay have seen meh naked."

Lou started at her words. "You've seen Elaine naked?" he asked Richie and 
Aria. 

"A'cahse they have," Elaine told him. "It'd beh hahd tah beh lovahs without 
it."

"You're LOVERS?!" Lou was surprised by her answer. "'Laine, I thought you 
said you couldn't make love without killing your partner." 

"Oh hell," the blonde sighed. "Richay, Ari, d'yah mind if Ah tell him? He 
alreaday knows mah secret. Yahs should beh safe, too."

"Might as well," Aria shrugged. "I mean, we only kept it from him 'cause we 
didn't think it was fair plus we wanted to keep him outta the Game." 

"Tell me what?" Lou asked. 

Aria grinned mysteriously. "Lou, hon, know how you're always tellin' me to 
never grow old?" 

Lou nodded. 

"Well, you're a little late, love," Aria replied. "I mean, three hundred 
seventy-three years is practically ancient." 

"But you're not vampires," Lou said, confused. 

"Right," Richie agreed. "We're Immortal." 

"Immortal?" Lou asked. This conversation was taking a weird turn. 

"'Laine, may I?" Aria replied. 

"Jus' try not tah make a mess all ovah the floah," Elaine said, pulling out 
her knife and handing it to Aria.

"Your concern is touching," Aria replied sarcastically. She grasped the knife 
in one hand and then sliced open her left palm. She held it out to Lou and 
then wiped away the blood with her napkin, showing that the wound was now 
gone. "Immortal." 

Elaine took her knife back and licked the blood away seductively. 

Aria grinned. "I love it when you do that," she flirted. 

Richie rolled his eyes. "You would." 

"Anyway," Aria said, getting things back on topic as she smacked him in the 
chest, "Richie and I can't die permanently as long as our heads are attached. 
So 'Laine can kill us as many times as she wants and we'll pop back up again 
like one of them kiddie punchin' bags with the clowns on 'em." 

"And you didn't tell me this because?" Lou asked. 

"To protect ya," Aria answered. "I don't like tellin' mortals anyway, it 
never seems fair to me. 'Guess what, pal? I ain't gonna die but you will.' 
Doesn't seem very nice ya know? Shoot, I only told the Sullivans 'cause they 
sort of found out after one of the horses bashed m'head in." 

"Exsqueeze me?" Richie asked, disgusted. 

"I never told you that story?" Aria replied. "Right after they finished 
buildin' m'house, I hired this young couple to look after the place for me. 
They had this son that was always gettin' into trouble and one day I caught 
him wanderin' into the corral and there was this one stallion in there that 
was bad news and the kid was headed right towards him. I ran in, pushed the 
kid out of the way, but the horse had already reared back and he came right 
down on m'noggin. He cracked m'skull open, killin' me instantly, and the 
couple had a fit. I mean, their son was saved but their employer had bit the 
dust. Then I healed and woke up again and sorta got forced inta spillin' the 
beans. And the Sullivan family has worked for me ever since. Kinda like your 
family and 'Laine, Lou." 

"That's verrah much like how Ah met Pe'ah," Elaine agreed. "Ah was comin' 
home from a pahtay on Nob Hill when Ah got this weahd feelin' an' all the 
buildin' stah'ed shakin. Sah Ah took tah the aah an' that's when Ah saw this 
kid abou' tah get squished."

"I remember Dad telling us kids about it," Lou added. "He described it as 
this golden angel coming down from heaven to save his life." 

Aria laughed. "Golden angel?" she asked in amusement. 

"Somethin' wron' with that?" Elaine sniffed. 

"Honey, there ain't nothin' angelic about you," Aria explained. "And that's 
just the way I like ya." 

"Yah be'ah like meh this way," the blonde smiled. "Ah think it had somethin' 
tah do with the gown Ah was weahrin'. Had a lot of gold trimmin' on it. 
Anyway, Ah pushed the kid out of the way an' ended up ge'in' caught mahself. 
Now, anyone in his right mind would've run right then 'n' theah, because 
whensomething like that happens tah a vampiah, theah ain' no way of hidin' 
what weh ah, if yah catch mah drif'. This kid? He spends the nex' hoah pullin 
debris off meh. Tahned out a beam had go'en meh in the leg an' by this time, 
the sun was appeahrin' ovah the few buildin's lef' standin', sah he dragged 
meh intah the sewah an' weh spen' the nex' three days theah wai'in' fah the 
fiahs tah die. Oh die ahselves, Ah nevah did undahstand how come the sewahs 
nevah caught fiah."

"So what happened with the beam that got you in the leg?" Richie asked. 

Elaine shrugged. "It stayed theah until Lucien got it out. Pe'ah wasn' stron' 
enough tah remove it an' Ah couldn' reach it. Ah couldn' even fly verrah fah, 
it 
haht that much. Poah Pe'ah spen' mos' of the time tryin' tah catch rats fah 
meh." She paused for a shudder. "Ah _hate_ rats. Nevah been able tah stan' 
the damn thin's evah since Ah came across one chewin' on the boday of a 
soldiah. Made a nice dinnah, though."

Richie gave a shudder of his own as he pushed away his plate. "Eew." 

Aria rolled her eyes. "You are so sheltered," she replied. "So what happened 
after that?" 

"Event'allay, the fiahs died an' Lucien was able tah ditch Neeki lon' enough 
tah come an' get the beam out," the blonde continued. "Then weh got intah a 
debate ovah what tah do with Pe'ah. Ah won. It wasn' hahd, yah may not 
believe this, but Lucien has a sof' spot fah children an' Ah've always been 
able tah tweak it."

"Ol' funny hair likes kids?" Aria asked in disbelief. "Huh, maybe there's 
hope for the jerk yet." 

"Aria, Lucien had a li'le gahl of his own befoah he became a vampiah," Elaine 
said softly. "He doesn' wan' it known, but he misses hah somethin' awful, 
even now. All Ah had tah do was tell him how much Pe'ah reminded meh of 
Jimmay an' poin' out that he alreaday had ample oppahtunitay tah kill meh of 
abandon meh an' he hadn' done eithah. Then Pe'ah wen' up tah him 'n' tugged 
on Lucien's pant leg, looked up at him with these big roun' puppay dog eyes, 
even then yah could tell what a lookah Pe'ah was goin' tah beh an' his son 
ain' bah eithah," she pointed to a blushing Lou, "an' said in this angel's 
voice, 'please don' take Mama 'Laine away'."

Elaine paused for dramatic effect. She wasn't disappointed. 

"Well don't just sit there, what did he say?!" Richie asked, exasperated. 

Aria rolled her eyes. "Well, considerin' that Lou's sittin' here, I think we 
got a pretty good idea." 

"Has anyone evah tol' yah yah no fun, Ari?" Elaine pouted. "Ah don' know if 
Ah wan' tah finish the stahrah now."

"You better make it up to her," Lou told Aria. "'Laine hates having her 
stories interrupted." 

"Funny, ya didn't mind it so much that night at Joe's," Aria teased her 
lover. "And I'll make it up to ya, love, just not in public." 

"If yah'd caah tah refresh yah mem'ray, Ah had a full bellay that night. Ah'm 
always in a good mood when Ah have a full bellay." There was a pause before 
Elaine continued. "Promise?" 

Aria winked at her. "Don't I always?" she teased. 

"Sah fah," the blonde conceded. "But Ah still wan' Richay tah staht ea'in' 
again befoah Ah continue."

Richie looked down at his plate and blanched. "I don't think I can," he 
groaned. 

"Fine. Then Ah ain' finishin' the stahrah," Elaine sulked. "Aftah all, Ah 
didn' have tah make dinnah today. Ah could've jus' le' Ari do the cookin' oh 
let yah fix somethin' out of the freezah oh ahdah pizzah, but no, Ah had tah 
go an' make the lasagna mahself, nevah mind how the smell of that stuff makes 
meh feel, Ah mean it's not like Ah cn eat anay of it anyway...."

Richie sighed. "Alright, but try and avoid the rat images and the like, 
okay?" 

Lou laughed as Richie began eating again. "You haven't changed a bit, 
'Laine," he said. "You still give the same guilt trips to get your way." 

"Ah killed a Jewish gran'mothah once an' some of it stuck," Elaine shrugged. 
"Anyway, tah get back tah mah stahrah, aftah Pe'ah had said 'don' take Mama 
'Laine away,' Lucien drew himself up tah his full height, which was reallay 
somethin' since he's a full foot tallah then meh, hissed 'you _will_ regret 
this' an' took off in a huff."

"That's all he did?" Aria asked, disbelief clearly written on her face. 

"I'm with Ari on this one, babe," Richie added. "From what you've told, that 
just doesn't sound like LaCroix." 

"Ah know. Ah was absolutelay stunned," the blonde agreed. "But Lucien can beh 
quite genahrous at times an' he knew Ah had tah do this. Weh spen' the nex' 
sev'ral nights sahchin' fah Pe'ah's pahren's. Ah fin'lay foun' theah names in 
a newspapah listed amon' the dead."

"Is that when you started looking out for him?" Richie asked. 

"Yup," Elaine nodded. "Neeki an' Lucien wah movin' abou' a lot jus' then an' 
Ah foun' it easayah tah have one place an' go tah him whenevah Lucien sen' 
fah meh. Then Neeki got right frendlay with the Romanoffs an' Lucien tol' meh 
ha wan'ed meh in Yahrope on a pahmanen' basis. Pe'ah, who was abou' 
seventeen, made this real lon'-winded speech abou' how this was his home an' 
he didn' wan' tah leave."

She paused for a smile. "The one thin' he didn' say, wen' out of his way tah 
avoid sayin, was that nex' doah tah us was a rathah fetchin' youn' thin' by 
the name of Kate Fitzsimons, who was abou' sixteen an' that he was rathah 
fond of. He hadn' acutallay asked hah out yet, but.... Yah get the pictuah. 
Sah he stayed behind an' kep' house fah meh while Ah moved tah Paris."

"So when did you end up becoming a Hoskins' family tradition?" Aria asked. 

"When Neeki did that numbskull runnin' away act of his," Elaine answered. 
"Lucien an' Jenette follahed him tah Los Angeles an' as usual, Ah got sen' 
fah once they all had se'led. Since Ah alreaday had a house heah, it made 
sense. Pahfec' timin', too, since Ka'ay had jus' died an' Pe'ah found himself 
alone with a pascal of kids."

"That was another time Dad used to like to tell us about," Lou said. 
"Apparently, we were causing a few problems that day." 

"A few problems?" the blonde snorted. "Bobbay 'n' Lauray wah figh'in' ovah a 
toy, Sillay was chasin' Sye up 'n' down the staahs, Misha was tryin' tah 
dress the dog up in the babay's clothin', Lou was plastahrin' the walls with 
his oatmeal an' Callay had a dahtay diapah an' was le'in' ev'ryone know abou' 
it at the top of hah lun's. No wondah the govahness had quit the day befoah."

"Who?" Aria asked, having a hard time keeping all the names straight. 

"Bobbie, Laura, Misha, Silvia, Sye and Calista," Lou answered. "My sisters." 

"Sye?" Richie repeated. 

"Well, hah real name was Sue," Elaine corrected. "But fah some reason no one 
could remembah, ev'ryone always called hah Sye."

"And I thought I had a weird name," Aria replied, snickering. 

"What's wron' with Aria 'n' Sye?" Elaine asked. "Lots of people had names 
that ain' bein' used any moah these days. Ah even knew a Cheysu once."

"Who's talkin' about Aria?" Aria countered. "I mean Aria, daughter of Indala, 
sworddancer and shieldmaiden, Last of the Daughters, Fulfiller of Prophecy, 
Blessed Warrior Who Cannot Die. You try puttin' that one on a driver's 
license." 

"That's your full name?" Lou asked. 

Aria nodded. "Yep," she answered. "And as important as m'name may be, it's 
still a bleedin' mouthful." 

"Yah know, that's one thin' Ah've wondah abou', how come y'all keep the same 
name decade aftah decade?" Elaine asked. "Ah mean, weh'ah always changin' ah 
names whenevah weh go from one life tah the nex', an' weh tend tah avoid the 
comp'nay of mahtals, keepin' amoun's' ahselves. But y'all live 'n' wahk amon' 
them an' hahdlay evah change yah names."

"Not all of us," Aria pointed out. "Connor changes his all the time and Adam 
changes identities like most people change socks. But my name is very 
important to me. To an Andraven, who we are, our entire identity, everything 
that makes us us, is wrapped up in our names. I've changed m'last name a 
couple of times since it's not really m'name, but to change Aria would be to 
change everything I am and I can't bloody well do that." 

"And Mac's just an unimaginative prick who couldn't come up with a new name 
if his life depended on it," Richie added, grinning. He scooped up the last 
bit of lasagna and polished it off. "There, I've finished everything. Now you 
have to finish the story, 'Laine." 

"Not quaite," Elaine corrected. "Theah's still dessaht." 

"Dessert?" Richie squeaked. 

The blonde moved over to Richie's lap and slowly kissed him. "That's dessaht. 
Now, let's see," she said, returning to her seat. "It took meh ten minutes 
tah get ev'ryone se'led down. Ah am afraid Ah had tah cheat a bit."

"Cheat?" Richie asked.

"Yeah." Elaine turned to Lou and told him to get up, stand on one foot and 
hop three times, then turn around five times, which he promptly did. "That is 
cheatin'." 

"Ya whammied poor, innocent children?" Aria replied. "Shame on ya, 'Laine. I 
mean, do you have any idea how much money you could make in childcare with 
that trick?" 

"An' do yah have anay ideah how much trouble Ah could get intah if it was 
found out?" Elaine countered. "Oh how nosay kids ah? Even as caahful as Ah 
was, it baahlay took a yeah befoah Pe'ah's fam'lay found out theah was 
somethin' strange abou' meh."

"And they didn't suspect that right from the beginnin'?" Aria teased. 

"Yah ain' nevah seen meh play human, Shalla." Elaine turned to Richie. 
"Richay, did Ah seem strange when weh fahst met?"

"You mean besides needing a cold shower every time I saw you?" Richie joked. 

"Richay, yah stuck in a nineteen yeah ol's boday fah etahnitay. The day yah 
not hahnay is the day weh staht worrahin' abou' yah." She reached out and 
ruffled his hair affectionately. "Ah mean besides that."

"Not really, then," he said, thinking back. "I mean, you did tell me about 
your family, but I thought you were talking about the Mafia or something. I 
never thought about vampires. That, and I wanted to kill your husband." 

"'Laine, darlin', who said I was talkin' about you bein' a vampire or playin' 
at bein' mortal?" Aria pointed out, winking in the blonde's direction. "Even 
as a vampire you're pretty dang weird." 

"An' yah ain'?" Elaine replied. 

Aria grinned smugly. "Never said I wasn't, love." 

The blonde went over to Aria, knelt in her lap and put both arms around her 
neck. "_You_," she emphasized the word, "grew up in a village of pagan wahiah 
women. A'cahse yah weahd. But as fah as vampiahs go, aside from mah 
predilection fah some mahtals, which still ain' all that unusual, Ah'm 
downright nahmal."

"If'n ya say so, love," Aria replied. Then she kissed Elaine hard and fast, 
distracting her from further argument. "Now you were sayin' somethin' about 
the kiddies figurin' out you were a vamp?" 

Elaine looked at her former foster son. "Oh, Ah think Ah'm gonnah let Lou 
ansah this," she said, smiling. "Seein' as it was him who stah'ed it."

The two Immortals stared at him. "Lou?" Richie asked. "What?" he asked almost 
defensibly. "Mama 'Laine had just read some of Peter Pan to me and I went to 
the window to see if I could see him. Like you never did the same when you 
were kids." 

"Well, considerin' the fact that Peter Pan hadn't been written yet when I was 
a wee one," Aria replied, "I don't think I did. I did go look for the fairies 
a couple of times, but they were just a tad different than Tinker Bell." 

"This is what I get for falling for older women," Richie sighed. "So what did 
you see when you went looking for Peter?" 

"Meh takin' off in the aah," Elaine grumbled. "Ah thought Ah couldn' beh 
seen, but appahren'lay Ah crossed a moonbeam enough fah Lou tah see meh. Not 
that he let meh know Ah'd been seen."

Lou shrugged. "It's not my fault," he said. "The eyes didn't start going 
until I was forty. Besides, I wasn't sure if I'd imagined the whole thing or 
if I really had seen you flying. So the next night, I woke Misha up and made 
her come watch with me. Night after that, we made everybody but Callie, since 
she was still a baby, get up and watch with us and after that the rest of the 
odd things about Mama 'Laine just seemed even stranger." 

"Like what?" Richie asked. 

"Like we'd see Elaine at breakfast, but hardly any time after that until 
nightfall," Lou said. "And whenever she'd cook for us, she'd have one of us 
tasting it instead of tasting it herself. In fact, none of us could remember 
her ever eating or drinking anything at all." He smiled. "I'm sure you've 
both noticed that already." 

"Just a bit, yeah," Aria answered. "Although I'm pretty sure us tastin' food 
for her is a wee bit more fun than when she had you do it." 

"Ah don' think weh reallay need tah go intah that right now," Elaine said as 
she returned to her chair. Lou was handling everything marvelously, he didn't 
need Richie and Aria being her lovers when he couldn't thrown in his face. 
Any more than it had been.

"Tah get back tah Pe'ah Pan," Elaine continued, "abou' a week la'ah, Ah came 
home tah find ev'ryboday up 'n' wai'in' fah meh. The nex' couple of hoahs wah 
spen' with Pe'ah 'n' meh doin' some verrah caahful explainin'."

"Such as?" Richie asked, curious. 

For a brief instant, Elaine found her mind going back to that night. Why it 
hadn't happened before, she didn't know. Then she dragged herself back to the 
present. Flashbacks were her brother's hobby, not hers. 

"Lou, what did weh tell yah?" she turned over the question.

"I was four years old, you expect me to remember?" he replied. "I don't know, 
something about Darwin and survival of the fittest and shit like that. Uh, if 
anyone asks you, you didn't hear me say that." 

Aria didn't bat an eyelash, but Richie seemed startled. It was kind of like 
hearing his grandfather swear. Not that he'd ever had a grandfather, but he 
was pretty sure it was the same kind of feeling. 

"Lou," Aria said, "I've heard and seen a few things over the years that would 
make Elaine blush. So you swearing is not that big a deal." Then she looked 
at Richie. "At least not to me at any rate." 

"You've never had Mama 'Laine wash your mouth out with soap," Lou shuddered. 

"You?" Aria laughed. "The original gutter mouth and you washed their mouths 
out with soap. Oh this is just too much." 

"She's got you there, 'Laine," Richie added, fighting a few snickers of his 
own. 

"Gutter mouth? Mama 'Laine?" Lou couldn't believe it. 

Elaine sighed. "Y'all may not believe this, but Ah _do_ know when tah keep 
mah mouth shut. None of the kids evah hahd meh sweah. That they remembah, 
anyway."

"Oh I don't doubt that ya know better than to swear in front of a wee one," 
Aria replied. "It just strikes me funny that you punished them for somethin' 
ya do yourself is all." 

"An' how else would yah go abou' raisin' kids?" Elaine cocked an eyebrow. "Ah 
jus' did what Mammay taught meh."

Aria shrugged. "Momma always taught me by example," she replied. "And the 
back of her hand if'n I got oughta line too much. Course, with my momma, you 
didn't do that very often. One look was enough to shut up half the kids in 
the village." Then she smiled wistfully. "Great Mother, I miss that woman." 

"Mammay had a right fast hand whenevah Papa oh Ah did somethin' wron'," 
Elaine nodded. "Although Ah nevah passed that on tah any of the kids. Rathah 
los' mah taste fah that by the time Reese was done with meh. 'Sides, didn' 
need it no moah."

"Yeah, I can see where being able to Whammy them in to behaving would 
definitely be a plus," Richie laughed. 

"Momma's look was close enough," Aria replied. "Although if'n ya ask Danny 
and Maggie about it, I managed to inherit the better part of it. I just 
happened to be thick- headed enough that I needed the occasional whap on the 
bum to get things into m'skull. Most of the time I was too afraid of 
disappointin' her to let things get beyond that." 

"Ah nevah had a chance of disappoin'in' Mammay," Elaine said. "She 
disappeahed abou' the time Shahman fahced ev'ryone out of A'lan'a. A lot of 
people wen' missin' from that. Is anyboday else ge'in' depressed as hell from 
all this?"

"Maybe we need to get back to how ya get them watchin' over you instead of 
the other way around," Aria suggested. 

"Good ideah," Elaine agreed. "As Ah recall, it was in the thahtays. Lou was 
jus' hi'in' pubahtay an' he wan'ed meh out of theah because Ah was scaahrin' 
all the gahls away," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Lou turned beet red. "Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. You know there was 
nobody besides you and Edna." 

"You and Edna?" Aria repeated, raising an eyebrow. "I'm beginnin' to think 
there's more to this story than you're tellin' us." 

Eyes glowing with adoration, Lou looked at Elaine. "You two weren't the first 
to fall for Mama 'Laine. I've spent most of my life in love with her." 

"Ah think Ah prefah bein' depressed," the blonde in question grumbled.

"Hey, you can't help it if you're gorgeous," Richie teased. 

Elaine turned and snarled at him. "Drink yah milk." 

Richie shrugged. "It's true, isn't it?" he asked. 

"Yes, it's true, but Ah don' have tah like it," she snapped. "Damn thin's 
cause moah trouble then it's wahth. Happay now?"

"So if Lou wasn't the problem, why did ya leave?" Aria asked, deftly changing 
the subject before Elaine really got angry. 

After a brief glare, Elaine answered. "Sev'ral reasons," she shrugged. "Fah 
one thin', the neighbahs wah beginnin' tah notice Ah wasn' agin'. Women have 
a shaht enough time as it is befoah people realize somethi's not right, an' 
heah Ah had a pascal of kids tah compaah meh tah. 'Sides, what with ev'ryone 
growin' up,the house was ge'in' real crowded an' with meh out of theah, that 
gave two moah rooms fah the gahls tah spread out tah."

"_Two_ more rooms?" Richie noticed. 

"Evah taken a look at mah closets back in Seacouvah?" she asked. 

"Good point," Richie agreed. 

"Sure those are the only reasons?" Aria added, sensing Elaine was hedging 
around something. 

"Weeelllll." After a moment of squirming, the blonde answered. "Lucien got 
tiahed of meh playin' house an' tol' meh tah get out of theah," she said as 
fast as Southernly possible.

"Mm-hmm," Aria grumbled. "I had a feeling old funny hair had somethin' to do 
with it. Every time you start gettin' happy he does seem to have a tendency 
to stick his nose in it all." 

"That's not it," Elaine said defensively. "He's tryin' tah protect us, that's 
all. It's not a good idea fah any of us tah get ovahlay involved in the 
mahtal wahld. It cn cause too manay problems."

"So you keep sayin'," Aria replied, "but I still don't believe it. Course, if 
he didn't treat ya like a dog every time ya disagreed with him, I might be 
more inclined to believe that he had your best interests at heart." 

"Ah believe yah ge'in' Lucien confused with Reese, deahhaht," Elaine said as 
her eyes narrowed. "An' anyway, how Lucien treats meh is none of yah 
bus'ness."

"It's only my business because I love you and I don't like seein' anyone I 
care about get treated that way," Aria shot back. "If I didn't care so much 
about you, I wouldn't get so worked up about it. Why do you think I get so 
pissed off at Duncan when he makes a jackass comment about Richie or when he 
says something about you?" 

Elaine almost imperceptibly sank in her chair. "Then weh won' discuss him any 
moah, an' yah won' get sah upset. 'Sides, if he was as bad as yah think, 
would he have bought meh mah own lan' an' tol' meh tah build whatevah kind of 
house Ah wan'ed?"

"Depends, did he do it out of the kindness of his heart or did he do it buy 
ya off?" Aria asked. 

"He did it fah meh," the blonde insisted. "Because Ah'm his responsibilitay. 
Y'all should beh glad he gave it tah meh. Ah was able tah feed sev'ral 
fam'lays dahrin' the height of the Depression an' since it didn' cos' neahlay 
what anyone expected, Ah was la'ah able tah give Lou 'n' Ednah theah own 
house fah a weddin' present."

Richie nearly did a spit take. "You mean...?" 

"This is the house Mama 'Laine gave us," Lou nodded. "Now you know why I 
wanted to find the right people to sell it to." 

"This is the place Ah bough' yah?" Elaine asked. "Intahrestin'."

"No wonder this place felt so right," Aria snickered. "Great Mother but 
Andraven does love to throw the occasional twist in m'path." 

"Who?" Lou asked. 

Oops. "Um, well, Lou, m'Immortality ain't the only thing I didn't tell ya 
about," Aria answered, trying to figure out how to best breech the subject. 
"To put it bluntly, I'm what ya'd call a pagan. I'm the last Daughter of 
Andraven, a religious culture of warrior women who worshipped a warrior 
mother goddess named Andraven." 

"Really?" Lou's eyes brightened. "Non-Christian religions happen to be a 
passion of mine." 

Three pairs of eyes stared at him. 

"What?" he said. "You guys got any idea how boring it was looking after 
Elaine's place during the day?" 

Aria laughed even harder. "All this time, I've been hidin' all this stuff 
from you. Why the bloody hell did I even bother?" 

"Beats me," Lou shrugged. 

Aria shook her head, trying to recover from laughing fit. "Well, Lou, I doubt 
you ever came across us in your research," she said. "Unfortunately, the male 
dominated world we live in saw fit to have the Andravens struck from the 
history books. And what little of us remains kinda got mixed up with the 
Amazons." 

Lou surprised them all again. "Amazons? You were grouped in with the Amazons? 
It's just that I always imagined Mama 'Laine as an Amazon so they've always 
been a favorite of mine. Not that you can find much on them." 

"Well, no offense, but 'Laine here is a little on the short side to be an 
Amazon," Aria teased. "Course, I'm a little on the short side to be an 
Amazon, so it's not like I can say much." She leaned over and gave the blonde 
a quick kiss before she could complain. "It mainly just came from bein' a 
culture full of warrior women. Since most history books were written by men, 
they sorta cut us out of the picture and decided one group of warrior women 
was the same as the next. And while the Daughters share some similarities, 
we're different in a lot of ways." 

"Like what?" Lou asked, curious. 

"Well, for starters, we don't go around cuttin' our boobs off just to improve 
our aim with a bow and arrow," Aria answered. "Ya get the same effect from 
strappin' the suckers in good and tight and it don't hurt nearly as much." 

Richie tried to think of Aria boobless and failed. Impossible. Not going to 
go there. They were too important, he liked them too much. "I think I'm glad 
you're not an Amazon," he said. 

"Men," Aria groaned, rolling her eyes. 

"It's not jus' men, Shalla," Elaine chimed in. "Ah'm alsah fond of those 
pahticulah featuahs of yah anatomay."

Aria shook her head. "I'm just not gonna win this particular argument, am I?" 

Her two lovers looked at each other, then at Aria. "Nope," they both said, 
then laughed. 

Lou shook his head. "I don't believe it." 

"What?" Richie asked. "Mama 'Laine," he explained. "I've seen her laugh 
before, like the time Callie put Bobbie's make-up on the dog, but you could 
always tell she was holding something back. She's not doing that anymore." 

"Blabbahmouth," Elaine teased. 

Richie grinned. "See? I told you we were good for you." 

Elaine stuck her tongue out at him.

"Funny how she keeps doing that," Richie commented. 

"Almost like she wants us to catch it or somethin'," Aria added. 

"Are you guys like this all the time or are you just putting on a show for 
the old timer?" Lou asked. 

"Pretty much," Aria answered. "And watch who you're callin' old timer around 
here, kid." 

"Then you watch who you're calling a kid. Anyone who's had five children, 
eight grandchildren and three great grandchildren is no kid," Lou countered. 
"Unless you can beat that." 

There was a small, awkward pause as Richie and Aria looked at each other. 

"Um, Lou? Immahtals can' have children," Elaine told him. "Much as Ari 'n' 
Richay would have it othahwise. Howevah --" She practically jumped out of her 
chair and left the room.

"'Laine, where are you goin'?" Aria called after her. 

"Wheah'd yah put the pictuahs?" the blonde called back. "Nevah mid, Ah found 
them."

She returned carrying a photo album. 

"Lou, yah remembah how yah used tah tell meh Ah should've had children of mah 
own?" Elaine opened the album, flipped a couple of pages and handed it to 
Lou. "Take a look. Ain' she gahgeous?"

"I shoulda known," Aria laughed.

"Getting predictable, isn't she?" Richie added. 

"Just wait until she tries to fix Nat up with one of your grandkids, Lou," 
Aria teased. 

"An' what's wron' with that?" Elaine asked defensively. "Lahd knows Ah don' 
like hah da'in' Neeki. She desahves someone be'ah."

"Are you saying this because he's technically your brother or just because no 
one's good enough for your Nat?" Richie replied, teasingly. 

"We don't mean anythin' by it, 'Laine," Aria said. "It's just you do such a 
three sixty whenever ya bring up Natalie that it's kinda funny." 

"In case yah haven' fahgo'en, Neeki may beh mah brothah, but he's alsah a 
vampiah. Ignahrin' the fact that he's moah likelay tah kill hah the longah 
they keep seein' each othah, Ah wan' gran'children!" Elaine turned to Lou. 
"Ah don' suppose anay of those great gran'kids of yahs would happen tah beh 
boys, would they?"

"A few of them," Lou answered. "Only, considering the fact that they're all 
under the age of fifteen, I don't think you're Natalie would be interested. 
Pretty though she may be." 

"Not fah Natalay." She turned the page to a young, blonde woman with an 
eleven or so year old girl beside her. Obviously, the two were mother and 
daughter. "Fah hah. That's Amay," she said, pointing to the girl.

"'Laine, she's just a wee lass," Aria said. "Don't ya think it's a bit soon 
to be findin' her a husband?" 

Elaine shrugged. "Middle Ages, people used tah get marrahed when they was 
bahn. It was nice, in a way. No da'in' problems, an' when the kids reached 
pubah'ay, they alreaday knew who they could take it out on."

"But they don't do that now, 'Laine," Richie reminded her. "Shoot, when I was 
Amy's age I was too busy playing basketball to notice girls." 

"Then maybeh it's time weh brough' it back," Elaine replied, then smiled. 
"Don' worrah, all Ah wan' tah do is introduce them. Ah couldn' whammay Amay 
if mah life depended on it."

"Thank the Goddess for her sake," Aria said, winking at her lover. 

"Elaine, I'm sure Amy is a wonderful girl, but I sort of learned long ago to 
stay out of my children's love lives," Lou added. "And that goes for their 
kids and their kids too." 

"Ah jus' found Nat 'n' Amay a few yeahs ago," Elaine answered, eyes 
narrowing. "Give meh time." 

"Well, if it's any consolation, ya can always meddle in my love life some 
more," Aria replied pulling Elaine into her lap for a kiss. 

"Mmmmm," the blonde snuggled. "Ah like it when yah do that." 

"Now you know half the reason why I keep doing it," Aria teased. 

"So tell us more about your house, Elaine," Richie suggested. 

"Looking for decorating ideas?" Lou replied, grinning. 

"Well, I am having trouble with Ari's bathroom," Richie laughed. 

"What problem?" Aria replied. "All I asked for was a bathtub big enough for 
three." 

"Is that why y'all wah in the gues' showah when Ah ahrived the othah night?" 
Elaine asked. "Weh became busay enough Ah fahgot tah ask."

Richie nodded. "I've got it all ripped up and the water turned off in there 
because we were waiting for the tub to arrive so I could install the damn 
thing," he explained. "I had no idea one piece of porcelain could be such a 
pain in the ass." 

"If it's takin' too lon' tah get heah, Ah cn have the people who built mah 
house look intah it fah yah," Elaine offered. "They'ah ... verrah good at 
ge'in' othahs tah delivah on time."

"Well, it's here now, that's what I was working on when I accidently fried 
you," Richie replied sheepishly. "But, uh, wouldn't the guys who built your 
house be retired by now or something?" 

"Not if they're like her, ya daft git," Aria pointed out. 

"A'cahse they ah," Elaine laughed. "Who be'ah tah create a sunlight-proof 
residence then someone who alsh needs tah avoid the sun?" 

There was a pause before she continued. "One of the thin's they specialize in 
these days is mechanical windah blinds that can onlay beh opened with a 
remote control," she said, looking at Richie through half-closed eyes.

Richie had the good sense to look ashamed. "I'll call 'em right after 
sundown," he promised. 

"Ah think it'd beh be'ah if Ah call them," Elaine suggested. "Las' Ah hahd, 
Bennay was rathah pickay abou' who all he'd accep jobs from. He wouldn' daah 
refuse meh."

"Then definitely call them," Aria replied. "And be sure to have him do 
whatever it takes. This is your home too, 'Laine, and I want ya happy and 
safe here." 

Elaine smiled at Lou. "Ain' they sweet?" she asked, yawning as she did. "Oh, 
excuse meh." 

"Late night?" Lou asked. 

"No moah then usual," she answered. "Ah'm jus' nahmallay asleep at this time. 
An' Ah spen' mos' of las' night lookin' fah some place tah sin' at."

"Why?" Aria asked. "Not that ya don't got a wonderful voice, 'Laine. I just 
didn't think ya'd want the publicity." 

"That's one of the reasons it took meh sah lon'," Elaine answered. "Ah wan'ed 
a place that was small enough Ah wouldn' attract much attention, but was 
still makin' monay. Think Ah've found one, too. Called the Stahlight Club an' 
the main sin'ah's jus' abou' tah go on vacation. She doesn' know it yet, but 
she is."

Aria shook her head. "You're impossible, ya know that?" 

"Sah yah keep tellin' meh. But Ah keep doin' it anyway," Elaine smiled. 

"Good thing we love you that way," Richie teased. 

"Yah keep tellin' meh that, too," she said, stifling another yawn. 

"'Laine, why don't ya go back to bed?" Aria suggested. 

"Yeah, there's no reason for you to be staying up on my account," Lou added. 

"Yah probablay right," Elaine agreed. "Ah'll see yah tonight."

She kissed Aria, went over to Richie and kissed him, then turned to Lou. "An' 
yah, youn' man, behave yahself, oh Ah'll send yah tah bed without suppah!"

"Yes, Mama 'Laine," Lou said, standing up.

The two hugged, with Elaine standing on tiptoe to reach him. Then Elaine 
headed for bed. 

"God, it was nice seeing her again," Lou said after she left. "You two have 
no idea how lucky you are." 


"Oh, I don't know about that," Aria replied. 

"Yeah, I think we've got a pretty good idea just how lucky we are, Lou," 
Richie added. "A pretty damn good idea." 

"I remember the day I told her I was in love with her," Lou continued, 
sitting back down. "It was my eighteenth birthday and she wanted to know how 
come I'd never had a date. That was one thing about Mama 'Laine, I don't know 
how she did it, but she always had kept track of whatever us kids were up to. 
You should have been there the first time Laurie spent the whole night with 
her boyfriend." 

"Elaine was upset about that?" Richie snickered. 

Lou shook his head. "Only when Laurie tried to lie her way out of it and did 
a horrible job. No, she just wanted to make sure Laurie was in love with the 
guy and she didn't get pregnant or anything. She even offered to get Laurie 
some birth control, even though that was illegal unless you were married. And 
then," the seventy-five year old man paled, "she started giving Laurie 
advice." 

Aria laughed. "Now that sounds more like our 'Laine," she said. 

"So what happened when you told her you loved her?" Richie asked, curious. 

There was a long pause. "She was ... real nice about it," Lou said finally. 
"I mean, she didn't laugh in my face or anything. She just sat me down and 
very carefully explained why it wouldn't work out. How she'd end up killing 
me and even if she didn't, she'd always stay thirty-three while I got older. 
So I asked her to make me like her." 

"And?" Aria prompted, by now as curious as Richie. 

"Turned me down flat. Said I was too innocent. Can you believe that? Too damn 
fuckin' innocent!" He slammed his fist down on the table, making the 
Immortals jump. 

Aria gently touched his hand. "Lou, by her standards, ya are innocent," she 
pointed out. "Hell, by my standards you're innocent. That kinda blood on your 
hands, does strange things to a body if'n ya ain't prepared for it." 

"Yeah, I realized that after Mama 'Laine told me about her mortal life," Lou 
agreed. "Did you know she killed someone when she was _ten_?" 

"Saw it in her blood once," Aria explained, nodding. "And she only had me 
beat by five years." 

"You were fifteen the first time?" Richie asked, surprised. He'd never heard 
about that. 

Aria nodded again. "Yeah, but I don't like talkin' about it," she answered. 
"Besides, this is Lou's story." 

Richie wasn't too crazy about letting it go, but he knew better than to pry. 
Aria could be as closed mouthed as Elaine, but she would tell him eventually. 
He just had to let her go at her own pace. 

"So what happened after that, Lou?" he asked instead. 

"Well, since I was about to enlist, and it looked like the US was about to go 
to war against Hitler, whether we liked it or not, we made a deal. If I saw 
combat, managed to live through it and _still_ wanted to become a vampire, 
she would go about finding someone to make me one, since she wasn't sure she 
could do it herself," Lou explained. 

"So what glitched things up?" Richie asked. 

"Got shot," Lou said. "And the brass sent me to London to convalesce." 

Aria grinned, figuring out where this was headed. "You didn't," she 
snickered. 

Lou nodded, blushing a little. "Am I just a walking cliche or what?" 

"What?" Richie asked, once again hating not getting it. 

"You never watched many World War Two movies growin' up, did ya?" Aria 
replied. "Edna was Lou's nurse at hospital." 

"Most beautiful vision I'd ever seen too, next to Mama 'Laine at any rate," 
Lou replied. "Plus now you know why I'm crazy about your accent, Aria." 

"You married your nurse?" Richie repeated. 

"Yep. Right in St. James Cathedral, believe it or not," the old man smiled. 
"Mama 'Laine arranged it after I wrote her. She even offered to fly the 
family in except we decided it was too dangerous. So Edna and I got married 
first in front of her family in England and then my family here. It was going 
great until Edna met Mama 'Laine." 

"They didn't get along very well?" Aria asked. 

"That's one way of putting it," Lou admitted. He dug his wallet out of his 
pocket and started flipping through it. "Did I ever show you two a picture of 
Edna and me before we got old?" Instead of waiting for their answer, he 
turned his wallet around and showed them something inside. 

"Oh dear," Aria replied. 

The picture was faded, but not enough that you couldn't see the images. It 
was of a young man in an army dress uniform with his arm around a young 
woman. The man was obviously Lou, but the woman looked a lot like a younger 
version of Elaine. 

"Oh God," Richie agreed with Aria. 

"Yeah," Lou agreed with both of them. "Edna took one look at Mama 'Laine and 
flipped." 

"And Elaine?" Richie asked. 

"She was too busy trying not to laugh." 

"Sounds like her," Aria remarked. 

"That upset Edna even more and it got worse when she found out I'd be working 
for Mama 'Laine and I'd be spending as much time with her as Edna," Lou 
continued. "It got so bad, Mama 'Laine had to have a 'talk' with her." 

"Whammied her up but good, huh?" Aria asked. 

Lou took on a hurt look. "Only enough so Edna wouldn't cause problems," he 
protested. "But that's why we never told her about Mama 'Laine. She wouldn't 
have understood." 

"Lou, relax," Aria replied. "Unlike m'annoyin' brother, I ain't got a problem 
with Elaine's whammy. The thing'd come in damn handy sometimes when it comes 
to dealin' with m'sword or hidin' a battle or whatever." 

"Brother?" Lou noticed. "If you can't have children, how can you have a 
brother? Or was he adopted?" 

"Well, not bein' able to have children has absolutely nothin' to do with 
havin' siblin's," Aria pointed out. "I mean, just because I'm adopted it 
doesn't mean Momma couldn't have had other kids. But Duncan's more m'brother 
in a metaphysical sense. It's kinda like how Elaine's always referrin' to 
Nick as her brother. I've just known him for so long that I've gotten to 
thinkin' of him as family." 

"Oh, you mean like how us kids have always thought of Mama 'Laine as being 
like our mother, even though our real mother died not long after Callie was 
born," Lou thought it through. "So, Richie, do you have any brothers or 
sisters?" 

"Depends, do foster siblings count?" Richie replied. 

Lou's face fell. "You were never adopted? A great kid like you?" 

Richie shook his head. "Nope, not officially at any rate," he answered. "I 
mean, Duncan and Tessa all but did, but since I was eighteen by then, it 
wasn't legal." 

"Too bad you weren't around here. We might have been a little on the old 
side, but Edna and I would have gladly taken you in," Lou said, scratching 
behind his ear. 

"Yeah, I think that would have been nice," Richie smiled. 

"And just think, you could have grown up knowing Mama 'Laine," the old man 
added. 

Richie tried picturing that and just couldn't. "Somehow I just don't see that 
working," he laughed. "Besides, if you guys had adopted me, I would have met 
Elaine, but I never would have met Aria. And quite frankly I can't see my 
life without them both in it." 

Lou's curiosity finally got the better of him. "If you don't mind my asking," 
he hesitatingly began, "do all three of you? At the same time?" 

"Occasionally," Aria admitted. "It all sort of depends on which of us is 
around and who Raltra bites first." 

"And you really let her kill you?" Lou continued. 

"Well, it's not like she gives us much of a choice in the matter," Richie 
answered. "But it's not too bad. I mean, it's better than a lot of the other 
ways I've been offed and we do pop up again a little while later." 

"Yeah, if ya gotta go," Aria added, laughing. 

"What's it like?" was Lou's next question. 

"Well, El's biting hurts a little at first, but after that, it's the most 
intimate and one of the most pleasurable experiences you've ever felt," 
Richie answered. 

"And dyin's kinda dull and usually very painful," Aria added. "'Cept when 
'Laine's the cause at any rate." 

"Do either of you know -- will I see Edna?" Both the Immortals could see the 
unspoken question in Lou's eyes. 

Aria tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to figure out the best 
way to word her answer. "Well, I don't know about Richie, but I don't really 
go anywhere when I die now. The first time though, I was definitely headed 
somewhere. Andraven just changed m'mind for me," she answered. "However, I 
can tell ya that Andravens do believe in an afterlife and we even believe 
that sometimes your loved ones come back for a visit from time to time to 
look after ya. I know m'momma's with me. I'm not one of the lucky ones who 
can actually see ghosts, but I feel her presence all the time. So I'm pretty sure you'll find her again, assuming she ain't already here." Then she 
squeezed Lou's hand and smiled at him. 

"Thanks," he said with relief. "That helps a lot. So, Richie, what'd'ya say we 
tackle that tub of yours?" 

"Sounds like a plan," Richie answered. "I could definitely use the help." 

"I only turned down your offer earlier 'cause I was tryin' to hide 'Laine 
from ya, Lou," Aria explained. "Forgive me?" 

"Of course," Lou said. "I don't even blame you for not telling me about her 
when we first met since I know how secretive Mama 'Laine is. Not that I blame 
her." 

"Then you won't mind keeping our secret too," Aria replied. 

Lou became the picture of innocence. "Secret? And what secret would that be?" 

"I knew there was a reason I liked you," Aria laughed. 

Richie finished the last of his milk and then stood up. "C'mon, Lou. 'Laine's 
probably asleep by now so we can get back to the tub." 

"Yeah, she's used to my voice so I doubt I'll keep her awake," Lou agreed as 
he got up. 

"And since I doubt we'll have the excuse of her being naked anymore, we 
better get started before the slave driver here cracks her whip," Richie 
added, winking at Aria. 

"Funny," Aria replied as she slapped him on the butt. "Now get movin' or I'll 
skin ya where ya stand." 

"See what I mean?" Richie teased. He gave her a quick kiss and then the two 
men headed upstairs. 



Naturally, once the tub was completely installed, it had to be initiated. So 
Richie and Aria waited until Lou left, then woke Elaine, who was already 
showing signs of stirring. 

"Oh Raltra," Aria sing-songed. "Wakey-wakey." 

The blonde rolled over and pulled the covers over her head. "Go 'way." 

So Richie gave it a shot. He reached under the sheet and began rubbing her 
neck. "Come on, 'Laine. Aren't you getting hungry?" 

That earned him a purr, but nothing else. Aria's fingers soon joined his. 
"We've got something fun planned, 'Laine," she pointed out. 

Elaine slowly opened her eyes and peeked out. "What kind of fun?

"Richie and Lou got the tub installed," Aria explained. "And since Lou's gone 
home...." 

"We thought it should be broken in," Richie finished for her. 

An idea with definite potential. 

Smiling, Elaine rolled over on her back and held out her arms. "Carrah meh."

Aria snorted. "Aren't we the queen of Sheba," she teased. 

"Yah queen of Sheba, meh Jane," Elaine shot back. "Ah wannah beh carrahed."

Richie and Aria looked at each other and shrugged. Then they grabbed Elaine, 
hauled into her the bathroom, and dumped her straight into the full bathtub. 

The blonde disappeared under the suds. Richie and Aria were beginning to 
wonder if she was going to stay down there forever when she popped back up, 
spitting a mouthful of water at Richie. The shirt she had been wearing 
followed, smacking Aria in the face. 

Aria grabbed the shirt and dropped it into the hamper. "That's what ya get 
for askin' to be carried," she replied sweetly. 

"Yah wahn' sah advahse tah carrahin' meh the othah night," the blonde 
reminded them. "Fahgiven?" She held out her hands, one to each of the 
Immortals.

"Until you bit me in the ass," Richie reminded her. But they took her hands 
anyway. 

Elaine yanked, pulling them into the tub. "Yah carrahed meh the wron' way," 
she said as soon as they surfaced.

"Oh you're gonna pay for that," Aria growled. 

"Promises, promises," Elaine laughed. 

"Promise this!" Aria tossed a handful of soapy bubbles at the blonde. 

Elaine gave a screech and retaliated by slapping the water, splashing Aria. 

Aria gave a much harder splash back, drenching the blonde again. 

So Elaine promptly pushed her head under the water. 

Aria grabbed Elaine and pulled her down under as well. 

Fearing that things were about to get violent, Richie slipped between the two 
women and separated them. "Hey, you two, stop that. You're getting water all 
over the bathroom." 

"Shall we?" Aria asked. 

"Definatelay." Elaine smiled wickedly. 

The smile was quickly matched by Aria, sending a chill down Richie's spine. 

"Oh shit," Richie replied. 

Aria barely perceptively nodded to Elaine and the two splashed, intending to 
soak Richie. Instead, he ducked and the women caught it. 

While he was down, Richie did a little mischief-making of his own and first 
Elaine, then Aria found their legs pulled out from under them. 

After that, it was all out war. Elaine drenched Richie, Aria splashed Elaine, 
Richie dunked Aria. Until there was more water outside the tub than in. 

Then Elaine decided to play dirty. The next time someone, who just happened 
to be Richie, got her, she ducked under his arms, grabbed him by his ears and 
planted a kiss on his lips. 

Caught off guard, Richie fell back against the wall of the tub. Then he 
wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss. 

The two lost interest in the water battle, their attentions caught up in an 
entirely different activity. 

Aria sighed and turned the tap on, refilling the tub. 

Taking Richie with her, Elaine rolled first into the corner, then into the 
back of the tub. 

Grumbling to herself, Aria waited for just the right moment. Once the tub 
level had risen, she slapped the water hard, sending a spray right towards 
her lovers. 

Only Elaine was no longer there, having picked that moment to disappear under 
the water. This left Richie to take the full force of the splash, right in 
the face. He didn't give the reaction Aria had hoped for, though, being more 
interested in what his other lover was doing. 

Not having to breathe other than to talk, Elaine didn't have to worry about 
coming up for air. Nor did she have to worry about choking on any part of 
Richie's anatomy. She just licked, sucked and nibbled to Richie's heart's 
content. 

Aria sighed again. This was just getting totally ridiculous. 

Richie moaned, his hands tightly gripping the edges of the tub. Something was 
missing and he knew exactly who it was. "Aria!" he gasped. 

"Well it's about bloody time ya remembered I existed," Aria replied as she 
headed over to him. 

As soon as she was within range, Richie grabbed her and pulled her against 
him. His tongue entered her mouth, causing her to silently moan. 

Aria pressed her body downward and found -- not what she expected. She looked 
and discovered she was sitting on Elaine's head. 

"Okay, this is gonna be weird," she said.

"Don't ... worry," Richie panted. "'Laine ... doesn't ... breathe." 



A short time later, Aria untangled herself from her lover's dead body as she 
came down from her own orgasm. "That's the only thing about this," she 
sighed. 

A hand reached up out of the water, pushing at the warrior's hip. 

"That's what ya get for goin' down there," Aria pointed out as she moved to 
the other side of the tub. 

A stream of water arced towards her, followed by Elaine's head rising out of 
the water. "What?" 

"I said, that's what ya get for goin' down there," Aria repeated. 

The blonde shrugged. "Ah was havin' fun. An' it's not like yah all that 
heavay tah meh."

"Then don't bitch about me sittin' on your pretty little head," Aria teased. 

"Ah wasn' complainin'," Elaine said defensively, misinterpreting what Aria 
had said. "Ah jus' wan'ed tah get up. Got a crick in mah back." She proceeded 
to stretch, cat-like, loosening up her vertebrae.

Aria gave a very appreciative whistle. 

The blonde looked down at the objects of Aria's affection. "Not bad fah all 
that they've been chewed on, ah they? Nice thin' abou' the vampiah, it put 
ev'rythin' back in its propah place excep' mah maidenhead. Even got rid of 
mah stretchmahks."

Aria shrugged. "To an Andraven, stretchmarks are a badge of honor, somethin' 
to be proud of," she replied. "Sometimes I really get pissed that I can't 
grow old. On the other hand, some of the side benefits are worth it." She 
winked at the blonde. 

"Reallay?" Elaine asked. "That was always one of the thin's Ah was lookin' 
fahwahd tah when Ah became a vampiah."

"Elaine, when ya live by the sword, dyin' of old age isn't always an option," 
Aria answered. "If'n you're one of the lucky ones who gets that chance, then 
it's somethin' to be proud of. One of our oldest sayin's is 'any idiot can 
die young, only a true warrior gets to die of old age.' Plus, you were older 
when ya died. When I was mortal, twenty was kinda old, but now I keep gettin' 
treated like a kid. I think it's one of the reasons I love Richie so much, he 
understands what that's like. It'd be nice to be able to have some of the 
years and wisdom I've managed to live to acquire showin' up on m'face." 

"Oh shoah, make meh feel like an' ol' woman," the blonde pouted. "But even if 
Ah didn' live by the sahd, Ah was still luckay tah make it as fah as Ah did. 
Almos' died twice when Ah was pregnan'."

She looked around the bathroom, discovering the results of their play. 
"Lahday, what a mess." 

"That's what ya get for startin' a splash fight," Aria replied. Then she 
wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. "And 'Laine, you are not an old 
woman. And even if ya were, I wouldn't love ya any less." Then she kissed her 
lover passionately. "Should we wait for Richie or start cleanin' up 
ourselves?" 

Elaine almost blushed. "Ah'm afraid Richay's not goin' tah beh wakin' up fah 
a while. Ah killed him a bit moah then Ah had intended tah. 'Sides, men nevah 
clean anythin' right."

"True," Aria agreed. "Men ain't good for much of anythin', 'cept that one 
important thing." Then she winked at Elaine. "C'mon, let's dry off and I'll 
try and see if I can remember where I put the mop." 

"All righ'." The blonde got to her feet and helped Aria up. "Wheah do yah 
keep yah towels? 

"Cupboard over there," Aria answered, cocking her head to the right. 

The two women got out and started cleaning up the water. A few minutes later, 
Elaine realized something. 

"Wheah's Richay?" she asked. 

"In the tub, silly," Aria answered. "You killed him and we left him there, 
remember?" 

Elaine tugged on Aria's arm, pointed to the tub full of suds and water and 
repeated. "Wheah's Richay?" 

"He's supposed to be in the tub," Aria replied. "But he's not in the tub. 
Where is he?" 

"He couldn've go'en pas' us," Elaine noted. "Sah that means...."

"Uh-oh," Aria said. 

They returned to the tub and checked. Sure enough, there was Richie, still 
dead, under the water. 

"Cute, ain' he?" Elaine remarked. 

"Down right adorable," Aria agreed. "You want to get the camera or shall I?" 

"Yah be'ah do it. The onlay time Ah evah used a cam'rah," Elaine paused, 
"mos' of it isn' verrah cleah."

Aria shrugged. "Whatever, just make sure he doesn't start floatin' towards 
the surface while I'm gone." 

So Elaine sat down on the edge of the tub and placed her feet on Richie's 
chest while Aria fetched the camera. 

Aria shook her head as she came back in. "I didn't mean it quite so literal 
there, love," she replied. 

"Then yah should've said sah," Elaine said, removing her legs and getting up. 
"Ah'm too used tah the way Lucien does thin's."

"What am I gonna do with you?" Aria sighed. She quickly snapped a couple of 
pictures and then grinned. "There, these oughta come in handy the next time 
he's bein' a stinker." 

"Yah know what yah cn do with meh," the blonde answered. "Don' yah think weh 
should beh ge'in' him out an' dried off?"

"Depends, is he startin' to prune up yet?" Aria asked. 

Elaine reached in and picked up one of Richie's hands. "He's stah'in' tah 
bloat."

Aria put the camera down on the shelf above the sink. "Give me a hand then," 
she answered. "We can hang him over the side of the tub at least." 

Handing the limb she was holding to Aria, Elaine got on the edges of the tub 
and grabbed his other arm. 

Aria turned to the blond. "On three, right?" 

"A'cahse. One." 

"Two." 

"Three." 

The two women pulled and lifted Richie out of the tub. 

"Bloody hell," Aria heaved. "As soon as he wakes up, we're puttin' him on a 
diet." 

Elaine held him up while Aria grabbed a towel and dried him off. "He ain' 
heavay," she smiled. "He's mah lovah."

Aria burst out laughing. "That is terrible!" 

"Then yah shouldn've set meh up sah nicelay," Elaine teased back.

"I swear, between you and Richie it's gonna be a race to see who makes me 
lose m'mind first," Aria replied. 

"An' what's wron' with that?" Elaine asked. "'Sides, since Richay was the 
las' one of yah Ah bit, he's wheah Ah'm ge'in' mos' of it from."

"Well, I figure it's a good idea for one of us to at least be able to pass as 
sane," Aria replied, grinning. 

Elaine returned the grin. "Ah'll whammay anyone who says anythin' agains' us. 
Move him tah the bed?"

"Sounds like a plan," Aria answered. "And I mean that in both respects." 

"Ooh, twice the respect," Elaine said, hopping down and catching Richie 
before he fell. "Ah guess Ah don' have tah worrah abou' how yah'll feel abou' 
meh in the mahnin', do Ah?"

"Nope," Aria teased. "I'll respect ya in the mornin', the afternoon, the 
evenin', and any other time ya can think of, Raltra." 

"Tea time?" Elaine asked.

"Yep," Aria answered, helping Elaine put Richie into a more comfortable 
carrying position. 

"Dinnah time?" 

The two moved into the bedroom.

"Yep." 

"Bed time?" 

"Yep." 

"Good." Elaine set Richie down on the bed and turned back to Aria. "'Cause 
that makes one of us," she teased. 

"Oh you're gonna pay for that," Aria shot back. 

"Ah am, huh," the blonde dared her to try anything. 

"Yeah, you are," Aria challenged. 

"Try it, Ah daah yah."

Aria got that wicked gleam in her eye and the matching grin that usually sent 
Richie running for cover. "With pleasure." Then she pounced, tickling the 
blonde. 

Elaine gave a screech and grabbed the pillow from under Richie's head. She 
hit her lover with it and when that had no effect except to make Ari tickle 
harder, hit her again. 

Increasing her attack, Aria pushed Elaine onto the bed and on top of Richie. 

Whether caused by Elaine's sudden presence, or it just being the right time, 
Richie jerked awake. "Hey!" 

"Do you mind?" Aria huffed. "Elaine and I are tryin' to have a little fun 
here." 

"Again?" he asked. "Didn't you get enough in the tub?" 

"An' heah Ah thought it was Richay ge'in' enough in the tub," Elaine teased.

"Not that kind of fun," Aria answered. "Just because you think with your 
pelvic region doesn't mean we all do." 

"I do not!," Richie protested. "Most of the time, anyway." 

"Right, the other half ya think with your stomach," Aria replied. "Course, in 
'Laine's case, that's pretty much the same thing." 

"Moah fun that way," the blonde shrugged. 

"Remind me again why I woke up," Richie sighed. 

"'Sides, it ain' jus' nahrishmen' Ah get from y'all," Elaine added, ignoring 
him. "Ah get othah thin's, too."

"Yeah, I know," Aria replied. "That memory thing is still takin' some gettin' 
used too." 

"That's paht of the nahrishmen'," the blonde corrected. "Ah was refahrin' tah 
ah emotions an' the like."

"You pick up on that kind of stuff too?" Aria asked, intrigued. "I mean, I 
know Diana does, but I thought that was because she's an empath." 

"It's a li'le moah complicated in mah case," Elaine slowly answered. "Ah need 
yah emotions in ahdah tah feel anythin'."

"What do you mean?" Aria asked, confused. 

When Elaine didn't answer, not knowing how, Richie did. 

"Being a vampire makes it hard for Elaine to feel some things," he explained. 
"Like love and happiness and the like. Or at least that's what she told me." 

Aria sighed. "Sometimes I'm rather thankful our Immortality is so much 
simpler," she said. 

"Sometimes," Elaine agreed. "But Ah like bein' a vampiah be'ah."

"True," Aria replied. "After all, you don't have to worry about everybody ya 
meet tryin' to chop your head off." 

"An' yah nevah alone," the blonde added. 

"Alone is definitely not fun," Aria agreed. 

"Ah hate bein' alone," Elaine said. 

"I thought that's what you guys had me for," Richie teased, trying to lighten 
the mood. 

"Fah the mos' paht," Elaine agreed, smiling wickedly. 

"When ya can actually make it through the event," Aria added. 

"Very funny," Richie shot back sarcastically. 

"Well, yah do have a ... limi'ed attention span at times," Elaine teased.

"Hey, I wouldn't have had any trouble if you hadn't killed me," Richie 
replied. 

"It's yah own fault," Elaine pouted.

"It is?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she answered. "Yah taste too good. Ah can' help mahself." 

Aria laughed. "She's got ya there, Richie." 

Richie reached out, grabbed Aria and pulled her down. "And I've got you." 

"What're ya gonna do with me?" Aria challenged. 

"Just this." Richie took the pillow from Elaine and hit the warrior with it. 



The night of the appointment with Marcus, Elaine decided she wanted to fly 
there. 

Aria had never flown before. At least, not without a plane. 

The warrior woman let out a snort. "Not a chance in hell!" she snapped. 

"Why not?" Elaine pouted.

"Because you're not the one who could end up a wee red stain on the ground 
if'n she got dropped!" Aria shot back. 

That hurt. "Ah can' believe yah said that. Shalla, Ah'd _nevah_ drop yah. But 
since yah feel that way abou' it, fahget Ah evah brough' up the ideah. It's 
jus', the Ci'ay is _sah_ romantic when seen from up above an' Ah wan'ed tah 
show it tah yah an' {sniff}"

Aria sighed. "'Laine, if it means that much to ya...." 

"No, Ah don' wan' tah heah anothah wahd," Elaine continued. "Ah'll go an' get 
the keys that he Cadday, even though theah's no pahkin' fah blocks, sah 
weh'll have tah wahk theah...."

"Raltra...." 

"An' it's in the Tendahloin, sah the Cadday will probablay get stolen an' 
weh'll get mugged, but at least they can' kill us, not pahmanen'lay, anyway, 
an' Ah'll get a meal out of it, sah it won' beh a total waste, an'...."

"Raltra...." 

"Not tah mention Mahcus' studio is at the top of the buildin' an' theah's no 
eleva'ah, sah weh'll have tah walk the fifteen flights of staahs, an' ....

"If ya shut up, I'll let ya fly me there, okay?" Aria had the feeling she was 
going to regret saying that, but -- anything to get Elaine to stop talking. 

On the other hand, Elaine usually made it worthwhile to give in to her. 

The vampire threw her arms around the older woman and spent several minutes 
kissing her. "Yah won' regret this, Shalla, Ah promise," she said in between 
kisses. "Yah'll enjoy ev'ry minute of it."

Out of the corner of her eye, Aria noticed the smirk on Richie's face and began 
to realize just how successfully Elaine managed to manipulate her. 

"You're a bitch, ya know that?" 

"Yup," Elaine agreed. "But admit it, yah wouldn' love meh have as much if Ah 
wasn'."

"Well...." 

Elaine kissed her again. 

"All right, you win," Aria laughed. "So what do I need ta do?" 



Elaine led Aria down to the middle of the beach in the back yard and left her 
there, explaining how she liked to "get a runnin' staht when Ah'm carrahin' 
someone biggah then meh."

A running start? Aria wasn't too sure she liked the sound of that. She was just 
about to go inside when there was a rush of air and a pair of arms scooped her 
up. 

Three hundred seventy-two years old and Aria discovered something new about 
herself. 

She was afraid of heights. 

Sure, she'd been in planes before and on the tops of skyscrapers before, but 
there had always been something under her feet before. 

Now only a pair of arms belonging to a rather small woman prevented her from 
plunging thousands of feet to her death. 

This wasn't natural, this wasn't right, and she wanted _off._ 

A voice under her arm mumbled something. 

Aria realized she had her arms in a death-grip around Elaine's neck and 
somehow managed to loosen them -- a little. 

"What?" 

"Ah said, weh'ah onlay a couple hundred feet in the aah," Elaine repeated. 
"Give oh take."

"Give or take?" 

"This _is_ San Franciscah," the blonde explained. "The hills make it hahd tah 
estimate."

That made Aria feel _so_ much better. Not. 

"Would yah please relax, Shalla?" Elaine continued. "Yah not makin' it anay 
easayah fah meh. Ah'm not gon' tah drop yah an' even if Ah did, Ah'd 
probablay beh able tah catch yah befoah yah hit the ground."

"Thanks." Aria wasn't sure if she believed her, but she did relax a bit. 

It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again. 

"Aria?" 

"What?" 

"Open yah eyes." 

Aria did -- and the sight took her breath away. 

"Gahgeous, isn' it?" Elaine said. "That's one of the reasons Ah wan'ted tah 
take yah this way. Verrah few people get tah see the Ci'ay like this. Han' 
on, weh'ah goin' down."

The landing wasn't quite as bad as the take-off. At least Aria was expecting 
it this time. 

Elaine slowly swooped down, straightening herself at the last moment. Then 
she lowered herself to the rooftop and let Aria climb down. 

Aria spent the next several minutes kissing the ground. Elaine found this 
hysterical. 

"Don' get too carrahed away, Shalla," she told her, trying very hard not to 
laugh. "Weh'ah not theah yet."

The brunette glared up at her. "More flying?" 

"Ah'm afraid sah. Sahrah." 

"Then why'd we stop here?" 

"Because weh need tah talk an' since Ah know yah not goin' tah like some of 
the thin's Ah have tah say, Ah wan'ed tah get yah wheah yah couldn' throw 
anythin'," Elaine explained.

"What kinda things?" 

"Dishes, glasses, silvahwaah...."

"No, I mean what do ya want ta say ta me?" Aria corrected.

"Oh, that." Of course Elaine had known what Aria had meant. But she wanted to 
distract Aria from her love-fest with the roof. 

Elaine scratched her head, wondering where to begin. "Yah've nevah met any 
othah vampiahs, have yah? Besides Diana, that is," she quickly added. "Since 
Di's a recluse, she doesn' reallay count.

"Weh tend tah beh an ahrogan' lot," she continued. "Mos' of us think of 
mahtals as food an' not much else. The onlay ones Ah know of who don' ah 
Diana an' mah brothah, Neeki."

"And yourself," Aria interrupted. 

"If Ah wan'ed tah include mahself, Ah would have," Elaine said, glaring at 
her. "Ah have a few exceptions, that's all. Which brin's meh tah how yah 
goin' tah beh seen."

"Which is?" Aria crossed her arms over her chest, already convinced that 
whatever came out of her lover's mouth, she wasn't going to like it. 

"As, um,  mah pet."

"Your pet," Aria repeated. "Is that how you think of me?" 

"The truth?" What a stupid question. Of course Aria wanted the truth. 
"Sometimes," Elaine admitted. "Mos'lay when Ah'm away. Befoah yah staht 
yellin', may Ah try tah explain?"

Aria glared at her, but didn't say anything. 

"Bein' a vampiah comes complete with its own mahral dilemma," Elaine said. 
"How do yah kill a human bein' night aftah night tah sahvive? Not killin' is 
not an option -- yah eithah do it oh the vampiah takes ovah an' yah kill 
anyway. But one way of the othah, weh'ah goin' tah do it, an' _that's_ what 
weh have tah deal with.

"Some of us, like Diana, nevah get used tah it. An' yah saw what she's like.

"At the othah end of the spectrum ah those who take tah killin' sah well they 
lose all sense of propahtion an' have tah beh destroyed befoah they reveal ah 
presence tah the wahld.

"Fah the rest of us, weh solve it by se'in' ahselves apaht from mahtals. 
Aftah all, weh _ah_ supahriah tah them. Weh'ah strongah, fastah, smahtah, weh 
live fahevah. Besides, mahtals all die soonah oh la'ah anyway, does it 
reallay ma'ah why?

"Mahself, Ah see us moah as caahtakahs. It is ah _job_ tah pick off the weak 
'n' the eldahlay an' tah keep the population down. But then, Ah was raised 
moah on Dahwin then the Bible."

"So where does bein' a pet come in?" Aria asked. She really wasn't liking the 
path this conversation was taking. She knew she couldn't really judge Elaine 
by her own set of moral standards. Hell, she couldn't judge most people by 
Andraven standards. But hearing her love talk about human beings the way the 
warrior woman used to talk about deer was not sitting well with her. 

"Like any good fahmah will tell yah, theah ah those animals yah raise fah 
food, an' those yah raise fah othah reasons," Elaine answered. "Occasion'lay, 
a vampiah will fahm a attachmen' tah cah'ain mahtals. An' the ones who live 
become ah pets."

"Like me and Richie," Aria said.

Elaine smiled. "Actuallay, Ah was thinkin' moah of Lou 'n' Joe. Yah 'n' 
Richay Ah think of as anothah type of vampiah, onlay yah don' drink blood an' 
yah eat 'n' cn go out in the sun 'n' all that. If that makes any sense tah 
yah.

"That's what Ah think of yah when Ah'm heah, anyway," she continued. "Thin's 
get muddled the longah Ah'm away."

"Then maybe ya should stick around more," Aria suggested. 

"It'd beh nice," Elaine agreed. "Unfahtunatelay, Ah have too manay 
responsibilitays elsewheah. Maybeh some day.

"Howevah," the blnode returned to the previous topic, "what Ah think abou' 
yah doesn' ma'ah right now. What ma'ahs is how _othah_ vampiahs will see yah. 
Which _is_ as mah pet."

She took Aria's hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "Ah haven' tol' 
_anyone_ abou' Immahtals. Not Neeki, not Nat, not Simon, not _anyone_. Lucien 
knows, because Ah can' keep secrets from him, but that's it. An' Ah intend 
tah keep it that way. Franklay, Ah'm not shoah how mos' of us would handle 
the knowledge.

"Anay vampiah weh meet is goin' tah think yah mahtal. An' that's goin' tah 
get yah a lot of condescension," she said. "A few of them know yah know abou' 
vampiahs an' that's goin' tah ahn yah even _moah_ condescension. Pah'lay from 
meh. When in Rome, an' all that.

"Ah have no right tah ask this, but Ah need yah tah take whatevah is said 
without ba'in' an eye," Elaine asked. "Ignoah what weh'ah sayin' an' fah 
God's sake, don' talk back. Because if it even _looks_ like Ah don' have yah 
completelay undah mah thumb, yah'll beh seen as a dangah tah the Communitay 
an' Ah'll beh fahced tah take caah of yah.

"Ah don' wan' tah do it, an' Ah'll ahgue as lon' as Ah can, but if the 
Enfahcahs ahdah it, Ah _will_ kill yah."

"What makes ya think ya could kill me?" Aria snorted. 

"What makes yah think Ah couldn'?" Elaine shot back. "Take a swin' at meh, Ah 
daah yah."

Aria took a half-hearted swing at Elaine. After all, she didn't want to hurt 
the smaller woman. 

Elaine casually batted it aside. "Oh, come on. Shoahlay yah cn do be'ah then 
_that_."

The next swing was a little more on target. 

This time, Elaine waited until the last second and just stepped aside. "Trai 
agin." 

Aria's third, fourth and fifth attempts also failed -- and Elaine had yet to 
put any effort into it. 

"Ah yah _shoah_ yah a wahiah, Shalla?" Elaine taunted. "'Cause Ah have yet 
tah see anay proof of it."

That did it. Now Aria was pissed. She swung at Elaine, fully intent on 
killing her. 

Aria's anger was what Elaine had been waiting for. Instead of ducking the 
blade like she had been, the vampire stepped _under_ it, grabbing Aria's 
sword hand in a casual, yet iron grip. 

Aria stared at the creature in front of her. This was _not_ the Elaine she 
was familiar with. Her eyes were cold, ruthless, with more than a hint of 
madness in them. 

This Elaine was a monster. 

The monster spoke. "Ah know yah don' trust meh. Yah right, yah know. Yah 
should _nevah_ trust meh. Right now, Ah could crush yah hand sah badlay, the 
bones would beh powdah. In five seconds, Ah could have yah sahd in pieces. 
Make no mistake, if it evah came down tah it, Ah _will_ kill yah. Ah don' 
wan' tah. Yah a pah' of meh now an' losin' yah would haht moah then yah could 
possiblay imagine, but Ah _would_ sahvive it. Ah will _always_ sahvive. Ah 
will do _whatevah_ it _takes_ tah sahvive. Yah have limits. Ah don'. _That_ 
is the diff'rence between us. _Nevah_ fahget it."

Some of the humanity returned to Elaine's eyes and she shifted her grip, 
running her hand along the edge of the sword. Then she held out the bloody 
palm as a peace offering. 

"Now that that's all se'led, cn weh go back tah bein' friends?" the blonde 
asked.

Aria used Elaine's momentarily dropped guard to her advantage. She knocked 
the blonde to the ground and sat on her, pinning her there with her the edge 
of her sword to her lover's neck. 

"First, you get one thing straight," Aria hissed, fire blasting behind her 
eyes. "I may not be a cold-blooded killer, but I will do whatever it takes to 
survive until after I have completed m'destiny. I don't want to be the last, 
but I _do_ want to survive. I love you, 'Laine, but if I have to rip your 
bloody heart out with m'bare hands to ensure m'survival, I'll do it. And if 
you ever do something like this again, I'll stake your arse to the nearest 
cross and leave you to sunrise." 

Aria sheathed her sword, took Elaine's hand, and licked away the blood, her 
anger gone just as quickly as it came. "However, if'n ya ever want to teach 
me that move, Raltra, I'd appreciate it," she said. "Might come in handy when 
I'm facin' somebody taller 'en me. Or was it a purely vampire thing?" 

Elaine _hated_ being thrown on her back -- it tended to panic her. Too many 
memories of it happening from her mortal days. 

Her usual method of dealing with it was to attack whoever was on top. But she 
didn't want to start another fight now that she and Aria had made their 
peace. 

Besides, something Aria said had caught her attention. 

"Yah reallay love meh?" she asked in a small voice.

Aria started, surprised that Elaine thought that she even had to ask that. 
"Of course I love you, Elaine," she answered. "You and Richie mean more to me 
than just about anyone or anything. Hell, if I didn't love ya do ya think I'd 
put up with ya so bloody much?" That last comment was made with a very 
flirtatious smile. 

"Good," Elaine agreed. "Because theah's somethin' Ah fahgot tah tell yah 
abou' flyin'."

"What?" Aria asked.

The blonde wrapped her hand in Aria's hair and pulled her down for a kiss. 

"It makes meh reallay, _reallay_ hahnay." 



Aria opened her eyes to find Elaine staring down at her. 

"Yah all right?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Aria answered. "What happened?" 

"Ah glammed yah," Elaine said. "Ah should've wahned yah, Ah don' take kindlay 
tah bein' thrown on mah back."

"Don't piss me off that much again and it shouldn't be a problem," Aria 
teased. 

Elaine sighed. "Aria, it may not sound like it, but Ah am tryin' tah save yah 
life. Even if yah manage tah get past meh, which Ah'll a'mit is highlay 
possible, since yah do have a way of distractin' meh." She paused to fondle 
Aria's left breast. "Yah'll nevah get pas' the Enfahcahs. _Noboday_ can fight 
the Enfahcahs. An' Ah won' even beh able tah help yah, because in all 
likelayhood, Ah'll beh dead. Sah it's both ah necks on the line. Now would 
yah please promise tah behave?"

"Ya know, I really don't like where all this is goin'," Aria replied. "I mean 
what's next, a leash and dog collar?" 

"A'cahse not! That would imply Ah couldn' control yah without 'em. 'Sides," 
Elaine's eyes took on a mischievous twinkle. "Ah'm savin' them tah put on 
Richay the fahs' time weh go club hoppin'."

Aria snorted, losing some of her anger. "You're impossible, ya know that?" 
she laughed. 

"'Cahse Ah am," Elaine laughed. "That's why yah love meh."

Aria smiled. "Yeah, love, that it is," she replied. "That it is." 



This time, Aria handled the flight a lot better. She didn't enjoy it, but she 
also didn't freak out. 

Elaine landed next to a door marked 'Stairs,' allowing the Immortal to 
disembark. 

"Remembah," she whispered so softly Aria could barely hear her. "Keep yah 
tempah, don' lie an' do take offense at anythin' Mahkay oh Ah say. An' 
hopeflllay weh cn get out of heah with ah necks intact." 

She placed a hand on the doorknob, then turned back to Aria. "An' if it 
helps, remembah Ah love yah."

There was a small pause as Elaine realized something. "Ah'm ge'in' be'ah at 
sayin' that, ain' Ah? Maybeh theah's hope fah meh yet."

A short kiss, and the two headed down the stairs. 



Elaine rapped on the door and opened it. "Mahcus?" 

"Hang on, dear. I'm just finishing the chapter," a tenor voice called out. 

Aria peered over the blonde's shoulder. It was a typical fashion designer's 
studio. Over on one wall was a bulletin board lined with sketches of figures. 
Several sewing machines and a cabinet full of bolts of fabrics and sewing 
notions filled another. A couch was pushed against the third wall, with a man 
reading a book lying on it. Aria thought she recognized the cover. **Great 
Mother, please, not that one! 'Laine'll never let me hear the end of it.** 
And in the center was a large table, covered in cork. 

The two women stood silently by the door, waiting for Marcus to finish his 
reading. Finally, the vampire put down his book and went over to them. He was 
a little shorter than Aria, the warrior noted, and slightly on the pudgy 
side. No vampire was ever overweight, but Marcus came close. His short dark 
brown head of hair had a huge bald spot in the middle which was made up for 
by a mustache and beard lining the edges of his face. As expected, he was 
impeccably dressed, black trousers and a black shirt with blue stripes and a 
Nehru collar. 

"Mahcus, Dahlin'!" Elaine said, entering the room.

"Elaine!" he squealed.

Aria watched as the two vampires gushed. First they held hands, then kissed 
each other's cheeks, then hugged. Not the way Elaine usually hugged, though. 
The two stood a foot apart, with only their upper bodies touching. A 
beautiful people-type hug. 

"How's my favorite inspiration?" Marcus asked. 

"How do Ah look?" Elaine took a step back and slowly turned. 

Marcus clapped his hands together. "Elaine, you've been feeding! If I didn't 
know better, I'd think you've gained weight!" 

"Mah-cus!" the blonde pouted. 

"Now don't get your knickers in a twist, on you it looks good." He turned 
towards Aria. "Still playing the generous hostess, I see." 

"Ev'ryboday needs a hobbay," Elaine shrugged off-handedly. "This is Aria. She 
needs a new wahdrobe sah Ah cn show hah off."

"And I was so hoping you'd bring that pretty boy of yours," Marcus sighed. 
"What was his name, Dickie?" 

"It's Richay an' yah know verrah well why Ah didn' brin' him. Yah tried tah 
take him away from meh las' time," she pouted. "Don' yah have enough boys of 
yah own tah play with?"

"Had, dear. I lost the last one to AIDS last year." He flamboyantly wiped 
away a non-existent tear. 

"Oh, Ah'm sahrah," Elaine said. "Ah hate when that happens. But someone 
always comes alon' la'ah, an' then yah find yahself fallin 'all ovah again, 
don' yah?"

"If my heart can stand it. I was absolutely devastated when I lost Franklin." 
He waved the thought aside. "Never mind. Let's take a look at your friend." 

Aria found herself being grabbed by the hands and pulled into the room. The 
fashion designer slowly walked around her. "Not bad. A little on the skinny 
side, perhaps, but I can work with it," he decided. "All right, dear. Off 
with the clothes." 

"Excuse me?" Aria asked. Oh she was not liking this. "And I thank ya to be 
watchin' your hands there, ducks. I don't even let 'Laine touch me there." 

"Aria," Elaine warned. 

Aria switched over to Andraven. "I do _not_ like any of this, Elaine," she 
hissed. "I'm a warrior, not a bleedin' dress dummy!" 

"Aria, please!" Elaine snapped back in the same language. "All he wants to do 
is see what you look like without clothes. Don't worry, he's not interested 
in you, believe me. Now _please_ don't embarrass me and do what he says." 

"That's not m'problem, Raltra, and you know it," Aria hissed. Finally she 
switched back to English as she started to untie her boots. "Look, it's 
nothin' personal and it's not like I've never been to a dressmaker before or 
whatever ya prefer to be called. I'm just not used to one who's so ... 
direct." 

"Impetuous little thing, isn't she?" Markie laughed. "Obviously you've never 
been to an artiste before, dear." 

"Well, I did spill a drink on Calvin Klein once, but that was only because 
Naomi Campbell tripped me." Aria took off her boots and then went to her 
shirt. "So I guess maybe you're right." 

"Calvin Klein?" Markie repeated, suddenly all eyes and ears. "You've met 
Calvin Klein?" 

"Yah jus' _had_ tah mention CK, didn' yah, Shalla?" Elaine groaned. "Now 
weh'll nevah heah the end of it. Mahkay's had a crush on him fah the las' 
twentay yeahs."

"Oh hush," Marcus told her. "Like you've never lusted after anyone." 

"True," the blonde admitted. "But as least Ah have the sense not tah make it 
a public figuah."

"As if I had a choice. The man is simply to _die_ for." He turned back to 
Aria. "Ignore her, she's just jealous. No, don't drop them on the floor. Hand 
your clothes to Elaine and she'll take care of them. Now tell me all about 
meeting CK." 

Elaine folded the clothes neatly and set them in a pile on the couch. Then 
she set about trying to find some means of distracting herself. Aria wasn't 
deliberately posing, but the sight of her standing there naked while Marcus 
measured her was still getting to the blonde. 

The book Marcus had been reading caught her attention. Especially the title 
and cover art. 

"_Blade of the MacLeods_" she read off. "Aria, did yah know abou' this?"

"Um, Amanda may have mentioned it once or twice," Aria replied vaguely, 
blushing. 

Of course the blush gave her away. "Aria," Elaine admonished. 

"Okay, so she mentioned it two or three times," Aria replied. "And she bought 
me a copy.... And I tagged along when they went to Carolyn's party.... And I 
did kinda help her put Carolyn and Terence back together. But that's it, I 
swear!" 

"An' yah didn' tell meh?!" the blonde asked.

"Well, I don't like it when you and Duncan fight, I keep feelin' like I'm 
caught in the middle," Aria answered. "So I don't give either one of ya any 
more ammo than I can help and I knew you'd never let him live that one down. 
'Sides, it sorta slipped m'mind." 

"Oh, yah sah righ' abou' that, Shalla," Elaine said, eyes taking on a 
devilish gleam. "Ah can' wait tah get MacLeod on this one."

"You _know_ that bronze god?" Marcus asked. 

"Unfahtunatelay," the blonde shrugged. "Ah don' like him, but sev'ral of mah 
... friends do, sah Ah'm stuck with him."

"Let me have him, please?" he begged Elaine. 

Elaine thought it over. She knew what Marcus wanted. It was _so_ tempting. 
Mac would be out of her hair once and for all and she wouldn't have to lift a 
finger. Still --. 

"Sahrah, Mahcus," she said, turning him down. "But anothah of mah friends is 
in lust with him an' Ah promised Adam that Ah'd help him get MacLeod. Maybeh 
aftahwahds."

"I knew I just shoulda kept m'big mouth shut," Aria sighed. 

"No, you were right to bring this to our attention," Marcus stated. "I've 
been dying to meet someone like him to sweep me off my feet." 

"Yah alreaday have," Elaine reminded him. "An' all five of them ah dead."

"Maybe he won't die this time," he shrugged. 

Elaine choked. "Mahcus, yah _can'_ beh serious," she sputtered. "Shoahlay yah 
not thinkin' of....?"

"Why not?" he asked in a huff. "He won't be pestering you anymore and I get 
my fantasy. It's a perfect solution." 

"Because Ah know Duncan MacLeod," the blonde growled. "Do it an' he's libel 
tah kill half of us befoah anyone could stop him. He'll beh even wahse then 
Neeki." 

She switched over to Andraven. "Help me out here, Shalla. We can't let this 
idea sink into his head. 

"Elaine, hush." Marcus snarled at her. 

The blonde immediately lowered her eyes, turning submissive. "Yeas, sah." 

Aria decided she'd better speak up. "Um, I don't know what you're talkin' 
about, but whatever it is, ya oughta know, that Carolyn wrote the book to 
make Terrence jealous. So Duncan's really been exaggerated." 

Marcus glared at her. "Spoil a man's dreams, why don't ya? You can get 
dressed now, I've seen what I need to." 

"Sorry," Aria said as she got down. "But believe me, I've known Duncan most 
of m'life, I love him as m'brother, but the guy can be a royal pain. I mean, 
you'd never get to really have any fun with him what with the stick up his 
arse and everythin'." 

Aria got dressed while the other two chatted. Marcus was making sketch after 
sketch while Elaine commented. 

"Oooh, Ah like that one. ... No, a li'le shah'ah. Ari's got great legs, might 
as well show 'em off. ... How 'bou' makin' that one a li'le moah 
professional? That's good. What abou'...." Elaine whispered into Marcus' ear.

"I _like_ that idea." Marcus flipped to a new page and began drawing 
frantically. 

"Theahs one othah thin'." Elaine searched for a way of explaining the Game 
without mentioning Immortality. "Yah've hahd of role playin'?"

"You mean those annoying people who pretend to be vampires?" Marcus asked. 

"Saht of," Elaine nodded. "Aria belon's tah anothah group that's intah 
figh'in' with sahds. Onlay this group isn' jus' a couple hoahs a week, it's 
all the time. Two membahs meet on the street an' theah's likelay tah beh sahd 
play."

"So anything I make for her, she has to be able to fight in," he mused. "An 
interesting challenge." 

"But that's why weh'ah heah," Elaine blatantly sucked up. "Because yah the 
onlay designah Ah know who cn do it."

"'Laine did say you're the best of the best," Aria added, knowing full well 
that sometimes it never hurts to kiss a little butt. "Although the real 
challenge will be in findin' places to hide m'sword." 

"Oh really?" Marcus asked, intrigued. 

Grabbing her leather jacket, Aria pulled her broadsword out of its special 
sheath in the back. "Never leave home without her," she replied. 

"My God," Marcus half-sang, eyes widening. "Talk about your phallic symbols. 
No wonder you like her, Elaine." 

Aria's grin was unreadable. "Oh, I wouldn't be sayin' that, ducks," she 
replied, her voice just as mysterious as her face. "I mean, if I want a 
penis, I just chop one off the nearest annoyin' male." 

Turning a shade paler, Marcus looked at Elaine. "She doesn't really, does 
she?" he asked crossing his legs. 

Elaine's eyes twinkled. It wasn't often she got a chance to tease someone 
older than herself. "Ah've nevah actuallay _seen_ hah do it," she assured 
him. "But Ah've nevah known hah tah lie, eithah."

"Yeep!" Marcus squeaked. "Maybe I should change a few of those sketches." 

"Well, just be thankful I don't find ya annoyin'," Aria replied, her tone of 
voice conveying the unspoken "yet." Then she smiled, genuinely this time. 
"So, ya think ya can do it?" 

"Of course," the man huffed. "_I_ can create _anything_." 

"Good, then 'Laine was right," Aria replied. "We did come to the right 
place." 

"Yah live lon' enough, Shalla, yah'll lahn Ah'm right abou' mos' thin's," 
Elaine told her.

"Oh really, now?" Aria asked. "And how many centuries will have to pass for 
that to happen, hmm?" 

"Jus' pay attention some time. Ah was right abou' yah, meh an' Richay, wasn' 
Ah?" the blonde pointed out.

"Once does not a lifetime make, lover," Aria teased. 

Elaine leaned in so her nose was a bout an inch from Aria's. "Wan' meh tah go 
intah details?"

Aria leaned forward and kissed Elaine right on the nose. 

"Excuse me!" Marcus interrupted. "Both of you. Out. Now! I can't work with 
you acting like that!" 

"Sorry," Aria replied, at least having the decency to look sheepish. 

"Sahrah, Mahcus," Elaine echoed, taking Aria's hand and standing up. "Weh'll 
leave yah in peace. When do yah wan' us back?" 

"Tuesday's good, for a first fitting," he replied. "Bring that little 
studpuppy of yours and I might have something for him, too." 

"Still tryin' tah take him away from meh?" she teased. "Ah'd tell yah he 
doesn' swin' that way, excep' Ah've seen him do it. But yah still not his 
type."

"You're never gonna let him forget that, are ya?" Aria asked. 

"Mmmmmmmmm." Elaine pretended to think it over. "Nope. C'mon, let's go." She 
pushed Aria towards the door. 

"Nice meetin' ya!" Aria called politely over her shoulder as Elaine hustled 
her out. 

"Women," Marcus said, rolling his eyes as soon as Elaine was out of earshot. 
Then he settled down to work, excited over the new challenge. 



Richie was still waiting up for them when Elaine and Aria got home. 

"So how'd it go?" he asked. 

"Well, Ah think," Elaine answered, going up for a kiss. "Mahcus took a shine 
tah Ari an' weh'all all supposed tah repaht back nex' week."

"No way!" Richie shot back. "I'm not goin' back there again. Not after he 
tried to pinch my ass last time." 

"Do yah blame him," she asked, straddling his lap. "It is, aftah all, a mos' 
delicious ass, jus' beggin' tah beh touched." She ran her hands down his 
chest, around the back and into his pants.

"And you would know since you tried to take a chunk out of it the other 
night," he retorted, squirming under her attentions. 

Elaine sat back, feeling hurt. "Yah jus' ain' gonnah fahgive meh fah that, ah 
yah?"

Richie thought about it for a second. "Nope, I'm not," he replied finally.

"Nevah, evah? In a million yeahs?" she asked.

"Promise not to do it again first," Richie said. 

"Ah alreaday promised Aria Ah wouldn'," she reminded him. "Yah tahn."

"Okay, okay. I forgive you!" he gave in.

"An' yah'll go with Ari 'n' meh tah Mahkay's on Tuesday?" 

"Okay, I'll go," Richie agreed. "But you and Ari had better protect me." 

"Don' worrah, Mahcus is aftah MacLeod now," she assured him. 

Aria came in then, towel drying her shower-wet hair. "Boy, I can't leave ya 
two alone for a minute, can I?" she teased. 

"Jus' tryin' tah keep thin's even," Elaine said, looking over Richie's 
shoulder. "Ah don' wan' noboday ge'in' jealous ovah nothin'." 

"Seems fair I suppose," Aria replied as she adjusted her kimono. "After all, 
I did get mine earlier." 

"Even if Ah was a li'le rough with yah," the blonde semi-apologized. "Ah 
should've wahn'ed yah. Bein' thrown on mah back tends tah brin' back ol' 
mem'rays. Some of the men Reese used tah find fah meh ... wahn' verrah nice. 
Yah hungray?"

"I told ya, love, it's alright," Aria replied. "I was just a little peeved 
and reacted without thinkin', I didn't mean it either. And actually I'm 
starved. Dyin' doesn't only make me tired, it makes me hungry." 

"No problem." Elaine got off Richie's lap, and went into the kitchen. "Anay requests?" 

Aria shrugged. "I usually just go for a sandwich or somethin' simple," she 
answered. "But if you're insistin', whatever you're in the mood for, Raltra." 

"Peanut bu'ah an' bananah?" the blonde asked, getting that little girl look 
Aria adored. 

Aria laughed. "If'n that's what ya want, love. Just don't deep fry it. I'm 
Andraven, not Elvis." 

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Yah don' fry peanut bu'ah, sillay. That's fah 
fri'ahs -- sweet Jesus." She looked at the TV. "Tahn that thin' up."

Aria shrugged as she picked the remote up from the coffee table where Richie 
had left it. "There ya go," she said as she hit the volume button. 

"....a two-thousand year old vampire," a woman's voice announced. "Police 
have taken him into custody." 

"Oh this oughtta be interestin'," Aria said. 

The news report followed, detailing how police had finally caught the man who 
had been cutting the throats of homeless people. The high point came, when, 
among other things, he claimed to be a two thousand year old vampire and that 
he drank the blood of his victims to stay alive. 

"Well don' that jus' beat all," Elaine said when the segment was over. 

"Yep, there are some real nut cases out there," Aria agreed. 

"What's happening?" Richie asked, having dozed off.

"That slashah fellah says he's a vampiah," Elaine answered. 

"What?!" Richie started, suddenly very much awake. "This isn't good, is it? I 
mean, what if people started learning about real vampires because of this 
creep?" 

"From that idiot?" Elaine snorted. "He ain' no vampiah. If he was, he 
wouldn've been caught."

"She's got a point there," Aria replied. "I mean, Immortal or vampire, ya 
don't survive that long by throwin' it in everybody's face." 

"Still," Richie said, worried. 

"Trust meh, love, if anythin', it makes us safah," the blonde assured him. 
"Anay fool who still believes in vampiahs aftah they get done disec'in' him, 
he's what they'll think of. Not a petite blonde sin'in' in a nigh' club."

"Or a gypsy playing violin in the streets," Aria added, referring to their 
friend Diana. 

"Oh a police officah," Elaine added, referring to her brother.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Richie laughed. "Nut case is good because he hides 
the real thing. I promise I at least won't worry about that anymore. All 
right?" 

"Exac'lay," Elaine smiled. "Yah hungray? Ah'm fixin' a peanut bu'ah an' 
bananah sandwich fah Aria."

Richie's face lit up with a touch of little boy glee. "I _love_ peanut butter 
and banana!" he answered. 

"Ah knew Ah'd made a good choice when Ah le' him catch meh," Elaine laughed 
before turning to Aria. "Can' yah imagine what a monstah he must've been 
growin' up?"

"Must have been a real terror," Aria agreed. 

"I was not," Richie pouted. "I was an obnoxious brat, but I was never a 
monster." 

"Richay, ev'ry li'le boy was a monstah growin' up," Elaine corrected. "But 
Ah'm shoah yah couldn' have been half the terrah Jimmay was. Lahd knows Ah 
spoiled that chil' somethin' awful."

Aria grinned. "Yeah, you strike me as the type," she teased. 

"Ah knew Ah wasn' gonnah see Jimmay grow up," the blonde shrugged. "Sah Ah 
tried tah make what mem'rays he had of meh good ones."

Richie, who'd finally gotten up and come over to join them, put his arms 
around Elaine's waist. "Then explain why you keep spoiling us?" he teased. 

"Simple," Elaine smiled wickedly. "Yah taste be'ah when Ah do. Gahl's go'ah 
protec' hah stomach, yah know."

Richie laughed. "I knew there had to be a logical reason." 

"Ah'm always logical," she answered, reaching up and touching his cheek. 
"Now, wheah did yah hide the bread this mahnin'?"

"In the pantry, where I always put it," Richie replied. 

"My, my, my, someone aroun' heah's actuallay lahned how tah put thin's back," 
Elaine teased. "But Ah can' go get it if yah don' le' meh go."

Richie stuck his tongue out at her as he reluctantly moved his arms. 

"Tryin' tah make meh catch it, huh?" she teased, going over to the pantry. 
Getting out the bread and peanut butter, she looked at them. How y'all cn 
stand ea'in' these thin's with all the chemicals they've got in them, Ah'll 
nevah undahstand."

Aria shrugged. "I've just gotten kinda used to it," she explained. "I mean, 
Emma always buys fresh bread when she doesn't have the time to bake it 
herself, but when I'm out on my own, I don't always have much of a choice. 
Besides, I let him do the grocery shoppin' last time." 

"What's wrong with Wonder bread?" Richie asked, confused. 

"What's wron' with it?" Elaine didn't know where to begin. "Ev'rythin'. No 
flavah, no real nutrients, an' Lahd knows what all those presahvatives ah 
don' tah yah insides."

"But I'm Immortal, my insides'll be just fine," Richie replied, still 
confused. 

"He's a child of his times, Elaine," Aria explained. "You'll have to forgive 
the poor boy for he knows not where from he speaks." 

Elaine shook her head. "Richay, as lon 'as weh've known each othah, yah 
_still_ haven' figahed out how Ah feel abou' yah ea'in' _real_ food?"

"Elaine, I don't need you lecturing me on my eating habits, all right?" 
Richie shot back, slightly hurt. "If you don't like what I eat and you don't 
like the way I shop, then why don't you take care of it yourself and get off 
my back?" 

The blonde paled and immediately set about making the sandwiches. "Ah'm 
sahrah, Ah don' know what Ah was thinkin'. Lahd knows Ah make enough demands 
on yah as it is."

"'Laine, you know I didn't mean it like that," Richie replied. "I'm just 
gonna hang myself until I quit sticking my foot in my mouth." He let out a 
deep sigh and rubbed at his face. "If it means that much to you, why don't 
you do something about it? There's gotta be some decent bakeries around here. 
Or tell me what you need and I'll get the ingredients for you if you want." 

Elaine opeend the jar of peanut butter and stuck the knife in. "Ah don' know 
anay of the bak'rays aroun' heah. Mos' of them ahn' open aftah dahk anyway," 
she said, spreading it on a couple of slices of bread. "Ah'd rathah make mah 
own, but the aahs too wet aroun' head. Yah know, that was the onlay thin' Ah 
like when Papa an' Ah moved tah Washin'ton. Aah was sah dry yah dough always 
rose pahfec'lay."

"You want wet air, try England," Aria teased. 

"Wait til yah've lived heah fah a while," Elaine answered. "San Franciscah's 
ju's as bad."

The little lightbulb went off in Aria's head. "I think I may have your 
answer, Elaine," she said. 

"Oh?"

"Yeah, see, Emma's gettin' to this point where she just doesn't have the 
patience to wait for her bread to rise right," Aria explained. "Not that 
you'll get her to admit it, mind ya, but that's beside the point. Anyway, a 
couple of Christmases ago, Maggie and Danny talked me inta buyin' her a bread 
machine. She won't actually bake anything in there, but it does make 
everythin' rise much better in a smaller amount of time." 

"A bread machine?" Elaine repeated, intrigued by the idea. "An' they reallay 
wahk?"

Aria nodded. "Trust me, Emma wouldn't go anywhere near it if it messed up her 
bread," she answered. "You shoulda seen the fit she gave me over the microwave." 

"Sounds like meh," the blonde smiled. "They ahn' too expensive, ah they?"

"Not really," Aria answered. "Not that it's a problem for me. Tell ya what, 
tomorrow after sundown, you and I'll go out and get ya one. Sound good?" 

"All right," Elaine agreed. "An' theah's something else weh need tah get 
while weh'ah out," she added, handing Richie and Aria each a sandwich.

"What?" Aria asked since Richie was too busy chewing the bite of sandwich 
he'd taken. 

"Moah bananahs," Elaine smiled.



It was impossible for Elaine to carry Richie and Aria at the same time. So 
when Tuesday came, they piled into the Caddie and went to Marcus' that way. 

Aria was quite relieved, enjoying the car ride much more than the flight. 
Even if the arrival was nowhere near as much fun. 

They got lost twice, Elaine not being used to navigating on the ground. 
Flying was a lot straighter -- you knew where you wanted to go and you went. 
Driving, there was all these lights and turns and one way streets and things. 
Very confusing. 

But they did manage to get there. Eventually. 

Richie got out and walked around to open the car doors, first for Elaine, 
then Aria. 

"You sure this is the right place?" he asked, looking around. "I'm almost 
afraid to leave to Caddie in case it gets stolen." 

"What if weh didn' leave it alone?" Elaine asked. "Beh right back."

The blonde looked around, went over to a street punk hanging out on the 
corner and spent several minutes talking to him. Then she returned with the 
punk in tow. 

"This heah's Fredday. He's agreed tah watch ovah the Cadday until weh get 
back an' make shoah nothin' happens tah it," she told them. "Ain' he sweet?"

"Bribe or the other way?" Aria teased. 

"What do yah think?" Elaine asked, feigning hurt. Then she smiled impishly. 
"Both."

"Shoulda known," Aria laughed. 

"A'chase," the blonde answered, going up to Aria for a quick kiss. She did 
the same to Richie and asked, "Ev'ryone readay?"

"Ida know, 'Laine," Richie replied. "Maybe ... maybe I should stay with the 
car too. Ya know, two of us making it a much less promising target than just 
the one guy." 

"Afraid of Marcus?" Aria teased. 

"Hey, you're not the one he's going to keep trying to feel up," Richie 
pointed out. 

"Richay, if yah stay heah, people will think yah 'n' Fredday ah boyfriends. 
An' this ain' the Castrah, if yah catch mah drif'," Elaine said.

"So?" Richie replied. "I'll heal. Eventually." 

Freddy took matters into his own hand by flicking open his switchblade. "Yo, 
man. Leave." 

"Who's says you get a vote in this?" Richie shot back. 

Sighing, Aria and Elaine grabbed Richie and dragged him into the building. 

Once inside, Richie calmed down, reluctantly going up the stairs. "You are 
going to protect my ass, right?" 

For an answer, Elaine and Aria reached behind him, crossing their arms and 
placing a hand in the back pocket of his jeans on the side opposite them. 

"Ha ha, very funny," Richie replied. 

"Ya did ask us ta protect it," Aria reminded him. 

"An' what be'ah way then makin' shoah he can' touch it?" Elaine added.

"Remind me again why I put up with you two?" Richie sighed. 

Elaine looked down the front of his jeans. "Ah think paht of yah alreaday 
remembahs why," she grinned.

"Care to show me in better detail?" Richie replied. 

"Later," Aria answered. "If I'm gonna have to play Barbie doll for ya'll, I'd 
kind of like to get it over with." 

"Don' worrah, it if gets too bad, Ah'm shoah Mahcus has a spaah room weh cn 
bahrah," Elaine assured him as she kissed him.

Aria rolled her eyes as they started back up the stairs. 

Even though it was still fourteen flights, it still didn't take long to get 
to the top. Which meant Richie and Aria had to wait while Elaine and Marcus 
gushed over each other. 

"Disgusting, isn't it?" Richie whispered in her ear. 

Aria shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time I met someone who does that," she 
answered. "Besides, as long as he ain't doin' it over me, I don't bloody well 
care." 

"I see you brought your little friends," Marcus said, looking at the 
Immortals. 

"A'cahse," Elaine answered. "Ah said Ah would. Sah what do yah have fah meh?"

"Just a few things. Ariel, I believe your name was," he told Aria, "if you go 
into the other room, you'll find several outfits on hangers. Put one of them 
on, then come back out here so I can adjust the fitting." 

"It's Aria," the English woman hissed. 

Marcus' face fell. "I did it again, didn't I?," he said too quickly. "What 
did I call her?" 

"Ariel," Aria answered. 

"Which is a lot closah then the time yah called Lucien Lahrence oh Jenette 
Natalay," Elaine reminded him.

"Oh that was a close one, wasn't it?" Marcus replied. 

"Oh meh Ahs." Her voice dripped venom. 

"You mean you do this all the time?" Aria asked, cutting Elaine off at the 
pass. 

Marcus nodded. "I just have this dreadful block on names," he answered. "I've 
even forgotten my own a couple of times." 

Aria smiled, her earlier anger forgotten. "I'm a little touchy about m'name. 
But as long as it ain't personal, I can live with it," she laughed. "Now you 
said they were in the other room, right?" 

"Through that door right th