DISCLAIMER: Okay, here's the score. Aria -- Kat's. Elaine -- mine. Reality -- Kat's. Simon -- mine. Diana -- Kat's. Jimmy -- mine. Sean -- Kat's. Everyone else you can figure out for yourself. WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! The following contains spoilers for the Elaine Saga. If you don't want to know what's going to happen in future stories, DON'T READ THIS!!!!!! (There, that ought to just about guarantee everyone reads it. ) The Christmas Party 1997 By Elizabeth M. Lawrence (luckyliz@mindspring.com) and Kathleen M. Wilson (Psistriker@worldnet.att.net). Richie went through the box, searching for his old lockpicks. He knew they were there someplace -- Duncan never threw anything out and this was the last of the boxes they had brought down from Seacouver. A-ha! Found them! Richie grabbed the picks and headed for the kitchen. This time he was _not_ going to be kept out. Shortly before dawn that morning, Elaine and Emma had gone into the kitchen locking the door behind them. That had been the last anyone had seen of them. It wasn't the last anyone had heard of them, though. Or rather, smelled. A short time later, heavenly odors invaded the rest of the house. By now, Richie was famished. And this time, he was _going_ to get in. He knelt down in front of the kitchen door and spread out the picks in front of him. The door opened before he had a chance to get started. "An' what do yah think yah doin', Kaltock?" Busted! "Elaine!" he stammered. "I was just...." "Abou' tah break intah yah own kitchen tah try tah get a sneak preview of suppah," Elaine finished for him. She stepped out of the kitchen, closing the door behind her. Richie got to his feet and put one hand on the door next to her head. "Aw, come on, Elaine. One little taste. I'm hungry." "No." He gave her a puppy-dog look. "Please?" Her refusal was weaker this time. She always did have a hard time resisting those baby blues. "Richay...." He kissed her neck. That got her. "Emma, is that plate readay yet?" "Almost," a voice came from inside the kitchen. "Keep 'im occupied for a few more minutes, there's a luv." "Weh figahed yah wah ge'in' hungray," Elaine explained. "Ah could heah yah stomach growlin' from the othah side of the house. Now, how do yah suppose Ah keep yah occupayed while Emma finishes that plate?" Putting her arms around his neck, she pulled him tight against her. The door opened _way_ too soon for Richie's taste. Until he got a look at the plate. Emma and Elaine had outdone themselves. "Do beh a deah an' set the table when yah done. The places ah all labeled, yah jus' need tah put plates fah the people who eat an' glasses fah those of us who don'," Elaine instructed. "Aria still in the tub?" Richie nodded. "Good. Ah think Ah'll join hah," she decided. "The gues's ough' tah beh ahrivin' soon an' it's high time weh all get readay." He watched her disappear up the stairs, half tempted to join her. He finally decided against it, though. Elaine could wait. His stomach couldn't. A short time later, Richie was glad he hadn't followed Elaine up the stairs. He wasn't _quite_ sure what the fighting was about, but it couldn't be good. Finally, the yelling stopped. Hopefully it was a good sign. "Richay?" Elaine called out. "Yah get the table all set?" "Yes, dear." "Good. Now close yah eyes. They closed?" "Yes, Elaine," Richie lied. "Verrah funnay, Richay. Caah tah try again." There was a fair amount of noise from the stairs as soon as his eyes were shut. "I don' know how ya talked me inta this, 'Laine. I feel ridiculous." "Relax, Shalla. Yah look great." "Can't I at least put on some underwear? This scrap of fabric you put me in is awf'ly short." "Absolutelay not! Yah'll ruin the line of the dress. Yah cn open yah eyes now, Richay." Richie's jaw dropped. It wasn't Elaine, he was used to seeing her dressed like that, even though he'd never seen her looking better. Rather, it was Aria that was the surprise. He had never seen, hell, just seeing her in a dress was a rare occasion, let alone one like that. Elaine's idea, it must have been. The two women were standing at the top of the stairs, hair up, make-up done to perfection and dressed almost identically. The only difference between the two was the color -- Elaine was dressed in a brilliant red and Aria in sapphire blue. Even their height was the same. Richie wondered about that until he got a look at their feet. Elaine was cheating, hovering a couple inches off the floor. The two had never looked lovelier. Richie was speechless, though a "wow" did escape his lips. "I am the luckiest man on earth," he finally managed to say. A pair of smiles rewarded him. "Still feelin' ridiculous, Shalla?" Elaine asked. Well...." Richie was about to show Aria how much he appreciated her, when Elaine stopped him. "No kissin'! Yah'll ruin Ari's make-up," the blonde said. "It's yah tahn tah get dressed. Yah have jus' enough time fah a quick showah if yah hurrah. Now scoot. Yah clothin's all laid out on the bed." Richie reluctantly headed upstairs. By the time Richie came back downstairs, most of the mortals had arrived. He didn't recognize half of them. He found one of his loves, went up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "Elaine, do we know all these people?" he asked, kissing her neck. "Not yet, but weh will," Elaine answered, snuggling in his embrace. "Do yah remembah mah mentionin' quan'um univahses a couple of stahrahs from now?" Oddly enough, Richie did. Even though he knew he shouldn't have. "The Crea'ah of this pahticulah univahse decided she didn' wan't tah wait til all the stahrahs wah done befoah havin' the Chris'mas pahtah," she continued. "Sah weh know ev'rybody, even though weh haven't met some of them yet." "Oh yeah, I know the Creator," Richie said. "Not that one, a diff'ren' Crea'ah," Elaine replied, shaking her head. "Although the one Ah'm talkin' abou' is friends with the one yah mean." "This is giving me a headache," Richiesighed. "Remind me to never take quantum mechanics." "Nevah take quan'um mechanics." "Real funny, Elaine." Richie had almost said 'real cute, Elaine,' but had stopped himself at the last minute. Elaine _hated_ being called cute. The last person who had tried it had almost gotten his arm ripped off. "A'cahse it's funnay. Ev'rythin's funnay tonight. It's Chris'mas. Yah cn even call meh cute an' Ah'll let yah live. C'mon, help meh with the drinks an' Ah'll introduce yah aroun'." Elaine handed him a tray filled with cups of egg nog, grabbed a place of hors d'oevres for herself and took him around the room. The first group Elaine led him to turned out to be Nick's partners. Richie had met Sean and Sam before, but Tracy and the Schankes were new to him. And to look at Myra Schanke -- wow! Blonde, statuesque, like something out of one of those German operas Mac had forced him to go to. How on earth did most of the men he knew end up with such gorgeous women all the time? Duncan and Tessa, Schanke and Myra, Duncan and Amanda, Nick and Nat, the de Valencourts.... "An' Richay Ryan, don' yah fahget," Elaine reminded him as they moved on to the next set of guests. "Yah livin' out mos' men's fantasays, yah know, havin' both Ari 'n' meh." Richie knew everyone in the next crowd. These were the ones who had flown down from Seacouver -- Duncan, Amanda, Joe and -- "Tessa?" "Joyeux Noel, Richie." "Merry Christmas. How --" Elaine pinched him. Not hard, just enough to get his attention. "Quan'um univahses, remembah? Ah'm goin' tah leave yah heah tah get reacquain'ed with Tessah while Ah go take ovah the doah from Aria. Neeki 'n' Nat jus' ahrived." Kissing Richie on the cheek, she left for the front door. She got there just as the doorbell rang. "Ah'll get it, Aria," she told her before opening the door. Elaine may have opened the door, but it was Fleur who greeted her brother. "Darling Nicholah!" "Dearest sister." The two embraced. "Is he coming?" Fleur continued. "Do you know?" "He'll be here later." "Wondahful." Elaine took control of her body again. "Think theah's enough time fah meh tah get drunk befoah he ahrives?" Visiting LaCroix in Toronto was hard enough on Elaine as it was. Trying to keep the peace between him, Aria and Richie was _not_ something she was looking forward to. "Nevah mind." She turned to the woman standing next to Nick and hugged her. "Ev'nin', Nat." "Hi, Grandma." "The kids have been askin' abou' yah all week," Elaine told her. "Why don' yah go greet them, then brin' them down sah weh cn staht suppah. They'ah upstaahs watchin' television with Amay 'n' Jennay. "Oh, an' Nat?" she suddenly added as the brunette was about to leave. "Han' meh yah sahd befoah yah go up. Simon said he'd beh heah la'ah an' it'll beh too much of a temptation tah cut his heah off if Ah le' yah keep it. Ah know yah still angray at him, but he reallay is sahrah abou' kidnappin' yah." Nat growled but she did hand over her sword. "Thanks. An' fah heaven's sake, drink somethin'," Elaine suggested. "Neeki may get away with stahvin' himself, but yah still too youn' tah do that. Go intah the kitchen befoah yah go up and tell Emma tah open one of mah bo'les up fah yah." "Yes, Grandma." Nick and Nat left. Elaine went over to the closet and opened it, intending to put Nat's sword inside with all the others. ::Well, it's about time! I tell him, pretty please, put me someplace so I can watch the party. But does he? Noooooooooooo--:: She quickly closed the door. Somebody had locked Truth in the closet. Tom, it must have been Tom. Certainly, Reality and Aria would never have done it. Well, she could easily fix that. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door again. "Hey, lovah." ::Cupcake! My favorite bloodsucker! I knew you'd come to my rescue.:: "If Ah agree tah fin a nice place on the wall fah yah, would yah promise tah behave yahself?" Elaine asked. ::Would you? Oh please, please, please, please. I'll be good, I promise. I'll even promise to concentrate all my insults on Kilt-boy and be completely nice to everybody else. Honestly and truly I will.:: "Promise tah keep yah mouth shut an' Ah'll beh happay," Elaine laughed. "An' yah do wan' tah keep meh happay, hmm?" Picking Truth up, she slowly ran a finger down his blade. Truth rumbled at her affectionately. Taking that as a yes, Elaine took her own sword off the wall and put Truth in its place. Time for supper. Supper, of course, was superb. The little sample Richie had tasted earlier was nothing compared to what was on the table now. Emma and Elaine hadn't been able to agree on whether to fix a traditional English or Southern meal, so they had decided to make both. Richie, sitting at one end of the table, was given the honor of carving the goose. Aria, at the other end, took charge of the ham. Emma sat in the chair closest to the kitchen, allowing her to bustle back and forth as needed. Elaine chose to sit with Jenny, Mary, Amy and the twins at the kids' table. There were still several guests to arrive and this allowed her to sit closest to the door. The rest of the guests were scattered about the main table. Conversation and food flowed freely. And everyone pretended not to notice when Nat snuck some of the cranberry sauce onto Nick's plate. At one time, the whole table ended up in a rousing debate over music. Joe, of course, led the side for American-based music -- the blues, jazz and rock. Much to everyone's surprise, it was Schanke who defended the classics. Schanke was proving to a surprise anyway, since to hear Nick describe him, Schanke had been a bit of a buffoon. Instead, he was cultured, well-educated and a wonderful conversationalist. Or maybe it shouldn't have been such a surprise, since he turned out to be the oldest person currently in the room. Methos and Diana arrived half-way through dinner. Elaine had been wondering if they'd show up. She'd hand-delivered the invitation herself, but Di was still the shyest person the blonde had ever met. Upon learning that Methos hadn't eaten yet, Elaine immediately sat him down in her place and fetched a plate for him. It wasn't like she had to eat anyway and something about having the oldest man alive at the kids' table appealed to her. Methos shot Elaine the most venomous look he could muster as he sat down, but he held his tongue. Mainly because he'd been worried about Diana being around all these other vampires, but she had immediately forgotten the presence of her fellow blood-suckers the minute she had laid eyes on the kids. Even now she was somehow managing to gush over Mary and the twins while laughing with Amy and Jenny. So as much as being the butt of Elaine's twisted idea of a joke got on Methos' nerves, he put up with it. After all, he would have put up with just about anything to hear his beloved Nightbird laughing. Diana and Methos turned out to be the signal for the rest of the guests to start arriving. Simon was the first. Out of everyone present, only Nick, Nat and, of course, Elaine had met Elaine's fledging before, so they were all surprised when he turned out to be the ultimate stereotypical absent-minded scientist. Tripping over his own feet and landing face-first in the sweet potato casserole didn't help the impression. "_That's_ Simon?" Richie finally had to ask. "He's so...." "Geekay?" supplied Elaine. "Yeah." Richie hadn't wanted to hurt Elaine's feelings, but geeky was the only word that fit Simon. "Hahd tah believe he chased meh half-way 'roun' the wahld an' had meh completelay tahrahrized, isn' it?" Elaine commented. "But yah should see him in the lab sometime, he's even smah'ah then Ah am. He was the one who fin'lay figahed out how tah make those embryos wahk fah yah 'n' Aria." That reminded Richie of something he'd been meaning to ask about all evening. "Elaine, about those embryos. How did we end up with a pair of tw--" The blonde put her hand over his mouth, cutting him off. "La'ah. Yah don' wan' tah get ahead of the stahrah, do yah?" By eight o'clock, the party was in full swing. Mary and the twins were upstairs napping so they could go to Church later. Jenny and Amy were getting their first tastes of champagne. Myra and Sara had been a bit worried about that, until they noticed Danny keeping a close eye on them. The two girls had developed crushes on him the moment they first set eyes on him, so they weren't doing _anything_ to earn his disapproval. Janette, Alexandra and Serena were off in a corner, talking. They had never met before that evening, but once they discovered that they had all been brought across by Nick against their wills and they were all still pissed at him for it, the three had become fast friends. Even if Janette couldn't quite get over the way Serena was dressed. The object of their discussion, Nick, was off in another room talking with Diana. Both of them had been thrilled to finally find someone who understood their hatred of being vampires. Natalie and Methos stood nearby, just in case the conversation got _too_ angst-filled. They needn't have worried. Every time things got too deep, one of the vampires would interrupt things to join Joe and Vachon in playing most secular Christmas carols. Nick traded off with Claudia on the keyboard, Diana played her violin and Joe and Vachon were on guitar. Exactly how Joe and Vachon managed to play on the same guitar at the same time, nobody was quite sure, but they did. Every so often, Elaine would wander over and join them for a song, though she and Diana made sure that they didn't sit in at the same time. Considering what happened the last time the two had performed together, it wasn't a good idea. Several of the guests were nearby dancing. The Schankes were there, of course, discoing away, as were Tom and Reality. Urs was in the thick of things, dancing with whomever grabbed her fancy. Duncan was being traded off between Tessa, Amanda and Anne, which earned him a few smirks from Elaine. While waiting for her turn, Anne sat on the couch with Sophia and the two Graces. The four had found they had a common interest in medicine. The second biggest surprise of the evening turned out to be Simon and Maggie. From the moment Maggie had wiped the marshmallow off Simon's face, the two had done nothing but blush and make goo-goo eyes at each other. By now it was so bad Emma and Elaine were wondering if they were about to become in-laws. Somebody needed to talk with those two before anything permanent happened. LaCroix arrived while Elaine was in the middle of singing O Holy Night. She managed to finish the song, but just barely. A word to her lovers, then she was in his arms, kissing him hungrily. Aria growled and Richie clenched his fists, but neither of them did anything. They both knew it was Fleur, rather than Elaine, in charge then, but knowing it didn't make it any easier. Sometime during a break, Diana had ended up being accosted by Reality. The rather outrageous mage had detected a few leftover traces of bardic magik in the reluctant vampire's aura and had insisted on talking to her about it. Diana hadn't been sure to what to make of the younger woman at first, and the red and green streaks in Reality's hair as well as the Christmas tree ornaments she was wearing instead of earrings didn't help matters any. But the enthusiastic way Methos greeted the mage and Reality's overwhelming curiosity and friendly smile finally caused Diana to relax. And since it was a long time since she'd actually discussed magik with anyone, the gypsy was more than happy to share what knowledge she had. Meanwhile, Joe and Sam were extremely nervous. Someone had let it slip to Amanda that Sean and Duncan had slept together after they had met in Chicago and the Immortal woman was not happy about it at all. Her response to that little tidbit of information was actually the main reason Joe was suspecting Elaine of being the leak, but he knew better than to call her on it. Amanda finally stalked up to the gorgeous redhead. "Listen you little...." "You must be Amanda," Sean interrupted. Amanda started, totally thrown off by the other woman. "How'd you know?" "Mac described you to me," Sean replied. "But he didn't do you justice." "He told you about me?" Sean nodded. "Oh yeah," she answered. "And I've been wanting to meet you ever since. You and I have got a lot to talk about." "Oh, really?" Amanda asked. "Yep," Sean answered. "For example, did you know that there's this spot on his back where if you stroke it just right he...." She leaned in and started whispering something. Amanda grinned. "You don't say? Hey, Tessa, Anne, you guys gotta come over and hear this!" she called. A few minutes later, Duncan glanced over at the tight little corner where his former lovers and sort-of-current lover were all standing and giggling. All four of them looked over at him, laughed, and then turned their heads back to each other. Richie clapped the Highlander on the shoulder. "Mac, my friend, you're screwed," he replied. "Actually, Richie, something tells me I'm not going to be screwed for a very long time," Duncan sighed, shaking his head. The biggest surprise of the night arrived shortly after eleven. The doorbell rang, even though all the expected guests were already there. Aria opened the door to reveal a man a few inches taller than her with a slim, wiry build and short brown hair. He looked familiar, even though she couldn't quite place him. "Excuse me, ma'am. I'm looking for --" A loud crash on the other side of the room interrupted him. Elaine stood in the kitchen doorway, a couple of broken wine bottles at her feet, looking for all the world like she had just seen a ghost. Which she just had. "J-Jimmay?" Elaine stood absolutely frozen as her son walked over to her. Finally he was close enough to touch, which she did. Solid. This wasn't a dream, he was here. Really here. "Jimmay, how?" she asked. "Yah shouldn' beh heah. Yah died in mah ahms. Mah God, yah look like yah fathah." The words came spilling out, finally ending with the words that she had needed to say for so many years. "Ah'm sah sahrah!" Jimmy held her as she got the tears out. "Mom, it's okay. You were just trying to protect me, I know." Elaine lifted her head. Now that she had heard the words from his own lips, she could finally accept it. "Yah still haven' explained how yah heah." "Does it matter? Call it a Christmas miracle. Don't worry about it." For some reason, Elaine found herself able to accept that, even though it was a-typical behavior for her. "Fine," she agreed. "Aria! Would yah mind wakin' the twins an' brin'in' them down heah? Theah's someone heah they ought tah meet." Elaine turned back to her son. "An' theah's someone else yah should meet. This way." Taking Jimmy's hand, Elaine led him into the next room. "Nat? This heah's yah great gran'fathah." This time it was Jimmy's turn to be astonished. "You look just like Madeline. My wife," he explained. "She was a doctor, like you. I met her in nineteen oh eight, while traveling through Wyoming. Prettiest little thing I ever saw. Took one look at her and decided right then and there I was going to marry her. Fortunately, she had a lapse of judgment the day I proposed." Jimmy kissed his great granddaughter on the forehead, then turned to her partner. "Nick, I have a message for you from the folks upstairs -- you're on the right track but you really need to lighten up. And lay off trying to become mortal again. We didn't go to all the trouble of having you become a vampire just to lose you with your job half done." That earned Jimmy several stares. The return of Richie and Aria prevented any questions, though. Each of the Immortals was carrying a sleepy little girl. The girls were identical, except for their hair. Aria held a brunette in her arms, while Richie's was blonde. Elaine took the blonde from Richie. "Cahrolyan, Emilay, this is yah brothah, Jimmay. Jimmay, this is Cahroline Indala." She indicated the one in her arms. "An' this is Emilay Elaine. Technic'lay, Cahrolyan's mine an' Emilay's Aria's, but since Richay's the fathah of both of them, weh figah it reallay doesn' ma'ah who the mothah is." The two girls looked at their brother. "Are you" "an angel?" they asked. The others waited for an answer. They wanted to know, too. Again, Jimmy was prevented from answering, this time by LaCroix. "My, isn't this a touching family reunion." If Jimmy really was an angel, he sure wasn't showing it now. "I remember you. You showed up right before the Bad Time started, when Papa started being mean to Mama." In a fit of temper worthy of his real father, Jimmy's fist flew. LaCroix landed across the room. Fleur was the first to react, the others being too stunned to move. Handing Carolyan back to Richie, she went over and checked on LaCroix. Satisfied he was relatively unharmed, she turned back to the others. "James, would you mind being a little more careful the next time you do that? That display almost cost you your wings." "It may cost him his wings, but actions like that'll always keep him welcome in m'house," Aria muttered under her breath. "Ari," Richie warned. "What? Just because I can't do it, I can't get happy when somebody else does?" Aria replied. A short time later, most of the mortals headed off to St. Grace's Cathedral for Midnight Mass. The vampires stayed behind, of course, as did Methos and Aria, since neither of them were Christian. Out of boredom, and an intense desire to keep herself occupied so she wouldn't hurt LaCroix, Aria talked Methos, Nick, Vachon and Screed into playing poker. By the time the others were scheduled to return from church, Aria was up ten thousand dollars and Nick was trying to figure out how to hock his Caddie. But since it was Christmas, Aria forgave his debts. When they returned, it was time to open presents. Everybody spread out around the living room while Aria, Elaine, and Richie played Santa Claus, passing out all the gifts. Once all the gifts had been passed out, everybody tore in, wrapping paper and ribbon flying everywhere. Elaine got Richie and Aria a custom-made CD of love songs that she had reworked for each of her lovers. After receiving her thank you kisses, she walked over to Duncan and handed him a box. "Heah, MacLeod. Ah got this one special fah yah." Duncan opened his present, then quickly closed the box so all the others could see was a flash of red lace. "What's the ma'ah, Duncan?" the blonde cooed. "Wron' size?" MacLeod just glared at her. The blonde vampire also got Emma a handwritten cookbook full of recipes from her mortal days, painting supplies for Nick, a shopping spree and new wardrobe for Nat, and a recording contract for Joe. After a bit of whispering, Nick and Elaine disappeared into the next room. They returned carrying a large, thin, brown-paper wrapped package, a present for LaCroix. "We know you're too old and powerful to celebrate Christmas," Nick began. "Bu we still want you to have this." "It's from all _three_ of us," Fleur added. Their Master took the present and unwrapped it. It turned out to be a painting, done by Nick, of Elaine and Fleur gazing at each other in a mirror. LaCroix was touched -- a blood tear formed in the corner of one eye, though everyone knew better than to mention it. "Thank you," he said. "Now Ah know that blow did somethin'," Elaine commented. "He's ge'in' sentimen'al on us." She then turned to Methos and handed him an envelope. "Ah got this befoah Ah met Diana. Othahwise Ah would've found somethin' else," she said, by way of an apology. Methos opened the envelope and showed its contents to Diana and Duncan. Inside the envelope had been a certificate for a weekend for two at a bed and breakfast in Napa. The reason Mac had been choking was because that particular B&B was well-known as having been one of the first in the area to accept same sex couples and they still made up most of the business. "You never give up, do you?" the Scot asked. "Like Ah said, that was befoah Ah met Diana," the blonde shrugged. "Now Ah suppose Ah'll have tah find somethin' else." "Is all right, Elaine," Diana came to her rescue. "I don't mind sharing as long as I know my Falcon vill come back to me." Duncan glared at her. "You just had to say that, didn't you?" The others ignored him. "All se'led then," Elaine squealed and sat down between Methos and Diana. "Yah won' miss him that weekend, Ah'll make shoah of it." Diana grinned. "Now I am sure I von't mind sharing," she laughed. Elaine kissed her elder, then turned and gave Methos one. "A'cahse, feel free tah come back ahlay if MacLeod tahns out tah beh a disappointment." MacLeod recognized the kisses Elaine was giving the couple. They were the ones she usually reserved for her lovers. He turned a shade of green. "Please don't tell me you two have --" "What's the ma'ah, MacLeod," Elaine cut him off. "Jealous cause Ah got him fahst?" Duncan was about to respond, but Aria hit him in the back of the head first. "Save it, brother," she said. "You know the rules." Duncan shot her a dirty look. "We're celebrating Christmas, not Mid-Winter." "You're celebrating Christmas, _I'm_ celebrating Mid-Winter," Aria replied. "And you'll abide by the Rules of the Feast if ya know what's bloody well good for ya." Duncan grumbled, but relented. "What ah the Rules of the Feast?" Elaine asked. "No Andraven is allowed to speak ill of others at the Mid-Winter feast," Methos explained. "If you do, the Great Mother won't bless you and you won't win a single battle for the next year. Since Mac is Ari's blood-sworn brother, the rules apply to him too. And I'd say that's probably the only reason LaCroix is still in one piece. Right, Miasta?" Aria just flashed him an imperceptible nod. "And 'Laine, love, Raltra, the rules apply to you too," she said. "So lay off of Duncan or I'm tossin' ya both out for the night." Elaine started to pout. "'Laine, trust me," Aria replied. "Be nice and it'll be worth it later." Elaine just grinned as she pulled Aria close for a kiss. Duncan still managed to get his revenge with his gifts to Richie and Aria though -- several gift certificates to the Olive Garden for Richie and a CD of bagpipe music for Aria. "Ah may have tah haht yah," Elaine seethed. "Especi'allay if yah evah use those." "Don't worry, 'Laine," Richie reassured her. "I'll wait and use these for when you're not here. That way you don't have to worry about the garlic." Aria was a little confused though. "The gift certificates I can understand. I mean, I like Italian food, but that place uses more garlic than even I can stand. But what's wrong with the pipes?" "Yah have got tah beh kiddin' meh," Elaine replied. Richie patted her shoulder. "'Laine, hon, I've been trying to hide this from you but, well, Aria actually likes bagpipe music." Elaine stared at her. "Please tell meh he's jokin'." "He's not joking. Why?" "Fine," the blonde pouted. "Jus' promise meh yah'll _nevah_ play that thin' when Ah'm aroun'." "I promise. But ya still haven't told me why yet. Don'cha like bagpipes?" "No, Ah don' like bagpipes," Elaine hissed. "No vampiah does. The blasted thin's _haht_. That's why yah'll nevah heah of a Scottish vampiah. None of us cn stand ge'in' neah the place." "Oh," Aria replied, surprised. "I never knew that. Well, in that case, love, I promise I won't play it when you're around." Elaine smiled. "Good. Now yah cn open Richay's gift." Continuing the tradition he had started on their first Christmas together, Richie got Aria a motorcycle charm for her charm bracelet. "There," he said as he put it on her bracelet, "we've got the sword for you and the motorcycle for me. Now I just need to figure out how to get a fang or something for 'Laine." Aria rolled her eyes. "Just shut up and open your present, ya git." Richie opened his up to reveal his very own laptop computer. "Ooh, nice choice, babe," he replied. "This thing does play Doom, right?" "As long as it keeps you off of mine, I don't bloody well care," Aria shot back. "Turkey," Richie teased as they met for a kiss. Then it was Elaine's turn. She opened Aria's first. Under the wrapping paper was a hand carved wooden box. Inside the box was the most stunning set of throwing knives and hand-crafted leather sheaths she had ever seen. "Shalla, these ... these ah gahgeous," she said. Aria smiled. "Well, I know your knife has sentimental value, but I figured ya deserved an upgrade, Raltra," she replied. Elaine grabbed a walnut from the nut bowl on the coffee table, cracked it open and tossed its contents in the air. Her hand twitched and one of the knives disappeared. The walnut fell to the floor in two pieces. The knife landed between Duncan's legs, about an inch from his crotch. "Sah sahrah," she smirked. "May Ah have mah knife back, please?" The Scot tried to make an equally dazzling shot, aiming directly at her chest. The vampire proved faster, though, catching the hilt in mid-air. The weapon quickly disappeared into Elaine's clothing, along with the rest of them. "Thanks, Shalla. These ah wondahful." Richie waited until the two were done kissing, then handed Elaine another box. "Wait until I explain the gift before you get mad at me," was all he said, but his grin was broader than the Cheshire Cat's. Intrigued, she tore off the wrapping and opened the box. "Yah shoah yah didn' get this mixed up with the gahls' presen's?" she asked as she pulled out a miniature stove. The three of them had gotten together and given the twins a doll house. Richie had made the house himself, Aria had bought the furniture and Elaine had supplied the dolls. "Keep looking," Richie told her. She did, finding a refrigerator, sink, microwave and cabinets to match the stove. "Ev'rythin' heah tah make a kitchen," Elaine realized. "Yah givin' meh a kitchen?" "Whatever you want, it's yours. Just try not to make it so complicated that Aria and I can't use it when you're not around." "Anythin'?" The wheels began to spin in Elaine's head. Her own kitchen. Exactly the way she wanted it.... "But, Richay, theis is bound tah get expensive. How ah weh goin' tah affahd it?" If it had been anyone else's present, she wouldn't have worried. But Richie didn't like using her or Aria's money. "The publishers gave me a thirty thou advance on my next book," Richie explained. "And after that, there's always my day job. I'm prepared to mooch off of you and Aria for a while if it'll make you happy." Elaine squealed and threw her arms around him. When they came up for air, she looked around the room. "Oh," she pouted. "All the presents have been opened. It's ovah." "Yup," Aria said. "An' ya know what that means." "The sex scene?" Elaine immediately brightened. "With Nick and Emma here?" the warrior snorted. "Get real. Besides, we're tryin' ta keep this story PG-13." "What on ahth for?" the blonde asked. "So the list {smerk} innocents can read this." "Oh, them." Elaine returned to pouting. "Then Ah sappose yah won' let meh kill Duncan, eithah." "Raltra," Aria warned. "Jus' kiddin'," Elaine teased. "Ah give up. What does this mean?" "It means we have to end this story." "Oh. Then cn Ah have mah sex scene?" "If ya insist. But off the screen, okay? I'm gettin' tired of havin' my sex life read by thousands of people." "Okay." Elaine brightened again. "So how do weh end this?" "Like this. Richie, Nick, I'm gonna need your help." "Sure. But why?" Nick asked. "Because you two are the favorite characters of the places this story is going to." "Oh." "You, too, Elaine." "What do Ah need tah do?" Aria whispered in Elaine ear. "Is that all?" The two Immortals and two vampires turned to the computer screen and said in very loud voices -- "THE END!"