DISCLAIMER:  Oh God. Do I really need to do this? I hate writing
disclaimers. Especially in stories like this. Look. You know the Highlander
characters. We didn't create them. And you presumably know the Forever Knight
characters. We didn't create them either. And you know at least some of mine
and Kat's characters. We did create them. There are more characters in this,
that don't fall in any of the previous three categories. We didn't create any
of them. Good enough?

                           The Christmas Party 1998

By Elizabeth M. Lawrence (luckyliz@mindspring.com) and Kathleen M. Wilson
(Psistriker@worldnet.att.net).


Richie went through the box, searching for his old lockpicks. 

He knew they were there someplace -- Duncan never threw anything out and
this was the last of the boxes they had brought down from Seacouver.

Hang on. Something wasn't right here.

"ELAINE!"

"Yes?" His lover appeared at his side.

It took a few minutes for Richie to put his eyes back in his head. Even as
long as they'd been together, there were still times when he was awed by
Elaine's beauty. Especially when she was dressed like that.

"Is that what you're wearing tonight?" he managed to ask.

"What this?" Elaine looked down at her stockings, drawers, chemise and
corset. "This is onlay the fahst layah of undahpinnin's. Ah still have the
petticoats an' bustle tah put on befoah Ah cn finish dressin'. But Ah don'
wan' tah do that until jus' befoah the pah'ay stahts. Theah some reason yah
called?"

"Oh yeah," Richie said. "Didn't we already do this story?"

"Saht of," the blonde answered. "But that was las' yeah. Weh have a new
storah fah this yeah. Which is why weh'ah at mah place instead of the house."

Richie looked around, noticing how in the few minutes they'd been talking,
their surroundings had changed. "How'd we get here?"

"The Crea'ah, a'cahse." Elaine smiled. "Appahrentlay, she wanted tah begin
the stahrah the way it did las' yeah, but the rest of it takes place heah."

Great. One of those stories. "So this is the part where I ask all the stupid
set up questions," he realized out loud. "Like, why're you dressed like that?"

"Exac'lay." She smiled again. "An' the reason Ah'm weahrin' this is because
the pah'ay is fancay dress. No modahn clothin' allowed. Prefahablay somethin'
from yah fah' mahtal lifetime."

Even Richie could see the problem  with that. "Elaine, this is my first
mortal lifetime."

"Which is why yah goin' as mah escaht," Elaine answered.

"But what about Ari?" Richie asked. "If I go as your escort, who's gonna go
with her?"

Elaine's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Don' worrah abou' that. It's been
taken caah of. Mah cahset tight enough?"

Richie shrugged. "It looks okay, I guess," he answered. "Not like I'd really
know. I mean, Ari told me she judges her leather jerkin by whether or not she
can still breathe and I'd assume it's the same thing for a corset, but since
you don't really need to breathe, it's not much of a guideline. However,
you're talking, so I guess it's right." He ran a quick hand through his hair.
"Okay, so the Creators are writing another one of these fark-me-up-with-those-
damn-quantum-universe stories where I get to spend the party looking like an
idiot. Which I guess I can tolerate since they are about the only ones who
give me a sex life. After all, some great nookie is worth looking like a
moron once or twice a year. However, I do have two questions before I totally
agree to go along with this year's performance as the village idiot. One, am
I right in assuming that THEY won't let you tell me who Ari's escort is now
'cause THEY want to surprise everyone with who it is, and two, how bad is my
costume?"

"Yes, an' not bad at all," Elaine nodded. "Men's clothin' hasn' changed much
ovah the last couple hundred yeahs. Jus' a basic suit an' Ah'll help yah with
the tie an' cuff links. It's right theah if yah wan' tah take a look." She
pointed to a black suit hanging in the closet.

Richie took the suit out of the closet and gave it a closer look. "Actually
that's not bad at all," he replied. "What can I say? THEY make me a little
paranoid. I mean, that one keeps trying to get me back in that damn kilt!"

"An' what's wron' weith the kilt?" Elaine pouted. "Ah like the kilt."

"Yeah, but she wants me to wear it in public," Richie explained.

"Ah like that ideah, too," she said, going up to him and kissing him.

"I'm not wearing it in public, Elaine," Richie replied. "However, be nice
and maybe I'll put it on later." He winked at her.

"Ahn' Ah always nice tah yah?" she asked, rubbing up against him.

"When you want something," Richie replied, trying to ignore his body's
immediate reaction. "But since that's part of the reason why I love you, I
can live with it."

"Good. Cause Ah don' come anay othah way." Elaine kissed him again, grinding
her body against his.

"Um, Elaine," Richie half moaned, "I know I'm gonna regret this, but aren't
these stories supposed to be PG-13?"

"Yah would have tah remind meh of that." Elaine reluctantly pulled away from
him. "Ah'm going tah finish dressin'. Why don' yah do the same?"

"Believe me, it wasn't my choice," Richie answered. "And okay, if I must."
He gave her a quick kiss and then she left the room.

Most of the clothes Richie had to wear were familiar, but different enough
to make it a challenge. The underwear, for one thing, was a one piece union
suit and made out of wool. ("She has got to be kidding me," he groaned. "Wool
and Mr. Happy, I don't think so.") At least Immortals didn't have allergies.
He didn't even want to think about getting a rash from it.

The shirt was easy enough. Though the collar was stiffer than he was use to.
Stiffer, hell. The damn thing stood up all by itself. Not to mention the
cuffs. Four buttonholes and no buttons.

"'Laine!" Richie called. "I think this thing is broken!"

This time, when she came in the room, he had a hard time not laughing. 

"What is that thing?" he snickered.

"Mah bustle," she said, hurt. "Jus' beh glad this isn' twentay yeahs
eahlayah. Hoop skahts had wiah cages undahneath them."

"I'm sorry, 'Laine, honest," Richie replied. "It just looks really funny."

"Trust meh, it'll beh wahth it when yah see the final product," she assured
him. "What do yah wan' this time?"

"Oh I know it will," Richie replied. "After all, you'll be wearing it." He
gave her a quick kiss and then held up his arm. "There's no buttons."

"A'cahse not, sillay. That's what the cufflinks ah fah. Why don' yah get yah
trousahs on an' then Ah'll help yah," Elaine suggested. "Anythin' else while
Ah'm heah?"

"Okay," Richie answered, grabbing his pants. He held them up, looked at
them, and then lowered them again. "There's no zipper."

"Zippahs wahn' inven'ed until eighteen ninetay three," she told him. "Check
the pockets."

Richie did and found two buttons above each pocket on the waistband. "Remind
me again why I can't just go in jeans?" he sighed.

"Because no gen'leman would evah beh seen in such a gahmen'," Elaine
patiently explained. "Even Reese nevah woah them."

Richie put his pants on, but he grumbled to himself the whole time.

"Quit yah whinin', yah go it easay, believe meh," she snapped. 

"All right, now what?"

"Hold yah ahms behind yah an' Ah'll help yah with yah vest."

Richie did as he was told. "I am not whining," he said. "I'm complaining
like crazy, but I'm not whining."

"Close enough." Elaine buttoned his vest. "Cufflinks ah in the box on the
dressah."

Richie grabbed the box and opened it. "'Laine, these are gorgeous."

"Ah should hope sah. They belon'ed tah Jimmay." She took the links out of
the box and fastened them into Richie's sleeves.

"Theah, that's all done," Elaine smiled. "Evah done a bow tie befoah?"

"Do clip-ons count?" Richie asked, a sheepish grin on his face. "Tessa 
usually did them for me. 

Elaine looked at him. "What do yah think? Heah, hand meh the one on the
dressah."

Richie shrugged as he grabbed the tie. "I'm all thumbs, what can I say?"

"No wondah yah ended up with two of us," Elaine teased as she put it around
his neck and tied it. "No one pahson could handle yah by hahself."

"Ha ha," Richie replied sarcastically.

"Yah cn put yah jacket on now," she added, stepping back.

"Oh my," she said when he did.

"I take it that that's good?" Richie replied.

Elaine nodded. "A finah figah then Reese evah made."

"I should certainly hope so," Richie replied.

"Then Ah should go an' make mahself a sui'ible match," she suggested.

"You're already a suitable match," Richie replied. "You're more than
suitable. Although I will let you go only because I want to be the only who
gets to see you in your undies. Except for Ari, of course."

"Yah too good fah meh," she teased, then kissed him and left the room.



"I'll get it!" Richie called.  He ran over to the buzzing intercom and hit
the switch. "Party central, how can I help you?"

"It's Lou," Lou's voice answered. "Mama 'Laine said she wanted me here an
hour early."

"Hey Lou," Richie returned. "'Laine unlocked the elevator so you can come on
up."

"Sure thing. Be right there."

Elaine appeared in a dressing gown at the top of the stairs as the doors
opened. "That Lou?"

"One and the same," Lou answered for himself.

"Oh good," she said, not bothering with the steps and just appearing at the
bottom. "If yah come this way, Ah'll help yah with yah outfit."

"Careful, Lou," Richie said. "You never know what these women have planned."

"Oh pish tish," Elaine objected. "Lou's goin' tah love anaythin' Ah put him
in, ahn' yah, Lou?"

"Whatever you say, Mama 'Laine," he immediately answered.

"'Laine," Richie admonished, "what did you do to Lou?"

"Jus' a few thin's lef' ovah from when Ah raised him," she shrugged.

Richie rolled his eyes. "Go help Lou get dressed," he sighed. "I'm gonna go
check on Ari and the food."

With a laugh, Elaine led Lou up the stairs. The next time Richie saw him,
the old man was completely transformed, now wearing the powdered wig, fitted
coat knee-breeches and stockings of a late eighteenth century gentleman.

Richie tried. He really fought hard, but in the end he couldn't help
himself. He burst out laughing.

"Horrible, isn't it?" Lou said. "But Mama 'Laine insisted. And you know what
she's like."

"Yeah, I know," Richie agreed. "Look at what she got me in."

"Ah think yah both look smashin'," Elaine appeared again at the top of the
stairs, this time fully dressed.

Both men's jaws dropped. The dress Elaine was wearing was the most exquisite
either of them had ever seen. It started off the shoulder, then wrapped
around to an incredibly small waist. From the waist, it billowed out into a
voluptuous floor length black skirt, trimmed in layers of blue lace. An
overskirt also hung from the waist, where it was first swept up into the
bustle, then fell into a long train. Elbow length gloves, a fan, a ribbon
around her neck and hair captured in an intricate knot involving flowers
completed the vision.

"'Laine, you ... you look incredible," Richie finally managed to stammer
out. Then he found himself going up to her and bowing at the waist. "May I
have the honor of escorting you this evening?" he asked, holding out a hand.

Elaine responded by curtsying low before him. "Thank yah, kaind sah." She
took his hand and rose and the two proceeded down the stairs. "Well, Lou? Yah
haven' said anythin' yet."

"Words can't begin to describe, Elaine," Lou answered.

"An' heah Ah though' that expensive college education Ah paid fah was wahth
somethin'," she teased.

"You could strike even the most learned of men dumb with your eternal
beauty, m'lady," Lou replied.

"Much bettah," she smiled. "Yah undahstand what yah supposed tah do?"

"Be the doorman," Lou answered. "Basically announce the guests when they
arrive, right?

"Yup," she nodded. "Steven'll give yah their names on the eahpiece yah
weahrin'."

"And they're all gonna be in costume, right?" Richie asked. "I mean, you
didn't do this just to humiliate Lou and me, did you?"

"Would Ah do a thin' like that?" Elaine asked. "Ah alreaday tol' yah, no
modahn clothin' allowed."

Richie pulled the pair of gloves Elaine had given him earlier out of his
pocket and pulled them on. "So let's get this shindig started."


Half an hour later, the party was in full swing. Richie walked around the
room, making sure everyone one was taken care of. He passed out a drink here,
made a little small talk there, until spotting a disheveled Duncan entering
the room with a flushed blonde.  

"And just want do you think you were doing with my daughter, Mr. MacLeod?"
he admonished.

"Just havin a little fun, Papa," Carolyan said. "The same way Mamas always
do when you're wearing the kilt."

"Of all the things you had to get from your mothers," Richie sighed. "I'd be
totally gray from you two if I wasn't Immortal."

"If you weren't Immortal, Aria and Elaine would have worn you out long ago,"
Duncan said.

"Don't start with me, Mr. MacLeod," Richie replied. "You're in enough
trouble as it is. Sneaking around with my daughter. If I weren't a gentleman
I'd smack you senseless."

Duncan rolled his eyes. "You're just enjoying this a little too much, Richie."

"Just be glad it's me and not Elaine who caught you," Richie countered.

"Oh Papa, would you quit teasing him?" Carolyan asked with a long suffering
sigh. "Where is Matkack anyway? I don't see her."

"Just look for the crowd of men," Richie said. "She's probably at the center."

"Isn't that her dancing with General Lee?" Duncan asked.

"Joe looks great in that outfit, doesn't he?" Richie replied.

"He's gorgeous," Carolyan corrected. "I think I'm going to steal him since
this song's almost over. See ya." She kissed both men, Richie on the cheek
and Mac on the lips, and left them.

The two went over to the buffet table, where they were soon joined by Elaine.

"It appeahs Ah've los' mah dancin' pah'nah," the blonde said, grabbing a
glass of champagne and taking a sip.

"That's what you get for having such a huge influence over your daughter,"
Richie teased as he popped an hors d'oeuvre into his mouth.

He picked up a glass of champagne for himself and caught a glimpse of the
Scot at his side. "Something wrong, Mac?"

"I thought Elaine couldn't eat or drink," Duncan said.

"Oh I don't know, she drinks just fine," Richie replied, winking at his lover.

"Champagne?"

"And what's wrong with good champagne?" Cory Raines asked, grabbing a glass
for himself.

"Who let you in here?" Duncan growled, totally distracted from his interest
in Elaine.

"George Washington, over there," Cory waved towards Lou. "Nice skirt."

"It's a kilt, ya haggis," Duncan snapped, his accent coming out strong. "An'
you should talk, you're wearing a dress."

"Mac, don't make me sick Ari on you," Richie warned.

"It's a tunic. And at least I have hose under it," the former peasant shot
back.

"If you two don't knock it off right now, neither of you is going to have
anything under anything!" Richie snapped.

"That Aria over there?" Cory changed the subject. "It's about time I said
hello to her."

"Good idea," Richie said, gently shoving Cory away.

Cory shoved his champagne glass at MacLeod and went over to the leather-clad
figure.

The warrior was leaning against a column, her back to the room, talking to
Janette, when he snuck up behind her, placing a hand on her rear end.

"Hi babe!"

With lightning speed, the warrior grabbed Cory, flipped him to the floor,
and drew her sword. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take your head
right now, maggot," she said as she placed the tip of the blade to his Adam's
apple.

"You're not Aria," he belatedly realized.

"Wow, I'm impressed with your grasp of the obvious," she replied
sarcastically. "I am Emily, daughter of Aria, Andraven sworddancer and
shieldmaiden, First of the New Blood, Daughter of Destiny. Or Emily Elaine
Ryan depending on the mood I'm in or which of my parents you ask."

Janette laid a hand on Emily's arm. "Put your sword away, cherie. Your
mothers would not appreciate blood being shed tonight."

Emily did as she was told. "Lucky for you I'm Andraven," she replied. "And
that Janette makes sense. Mid-Winter and all that."

"No problem. I'm Cory Raines," Cory said, getting up and holding out a hand.
"You're really Aria's daughter?"

"Yep," Emily answered. "You're really Cory?"

"The one and only," he bowed with a flourish. "You've heard of me, then?"

A slight blush crawled up Emily's cheeks. "Mom told me about you," she
answered. "I'm sorry about that, I wouldn't have flipped you if I'd known it
was you or that you thought I was Mom."  Then she shrugged and the blush
disappeared. "Oh well, consider it payback for the time you drove Dad off the
road. Twice."

"Your dad?" he asked.

"Richie Ryan," Emily answered.

"Oh him. He needs to learn to take a joke," he shrugged. "You haven't
introduced me to your friend."

"Cory, Janette. Janette, Cory," Emily replied, making the introductions.

"My lady," he took Janette's hand and kissed it. "It's nice to see a woman
from the old country. And such a beauteous one, at that."

"He is good, I will give him that," Janette replied with a laugh.

"Yeah, that's what Mom always said," Emily replied, grinning.

"And what has Mom always said?" Aria asked, coming up behind them.

"What a smoothie Cory here is," Emily answered.

Cory turned around and started. "Dear lord!" he gasped. "You two, you...."

Aria smiled as she moved beside her daughter. "Amazin' likeness, ain't it?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "How?"

"Long story," Aria answered.

"Let's just say it was Mama 'Laine and leave it at that," Emily added.

"Cherie, why don't you and your mother mingle?" Janette suggested.

"Good idea," Emily replied. "C'mon, Mom, let's go see who else we can freak
out."

"You had to get your father's sense of humor didn't you?" Aria asked.

Emily shook her head. "Nope, I got yours." Then she grabbed her mother's arm
and pulled her out into the ballroom.

They were immediately intercepted by a pair of gypsies.

Aria grinned broadly. "You two look great!" she laughed.

"This?" Diana looked down and swirled her skirt. "This is old thing I have
in trunk."

"Well it still looks fabulous," Emily said.

"I'm just surprised you got the ol' geezer to go along with it," Aria teased.

"She ... convinced me," Methos blushed. "I think she's been taking lessons
from Elaine."

"But it looks so good on you," Diana said. "I miss the days vhen you vould
dress like this for me all the time."

"You never told me you were a gypsy," Aria replied, looking pointedly at the
other man.

"I've been everything," he answered with a shrug. "And I didn't want to talk
about it."

"He is man of mystery, no?" Diana teased.

"And the biggest mystery of all is how you put up with me," he teased back.

"Exactly," Diana replied, grinning. "He knows me so vell."

Seeing a face across the room, Methos separated himself from the women.
"Would you excuse me?"

Diana gave him a quick kiss. "Do not be gone long, my falcon."

The three women watched him go up to a man in a Roman tunic. The two talked,
and then walked out of sight.

"Why's Uncle Meaty going off with Uncle Luce?" Emily asked, confused.

"They ... used to know each other, a long time ago," Aria vaguely explained.

Luckily for Emily, she had a history of catching on quickly. "Oh, gotcha,"
she answered.

"I do not like that man," Diana said simply.

"You, too, huh?" Emily said. "Anyone else getting hungry?"

"Starved actually," Aria answered. "And as far as I'm concerned, LaCroix'
only redeeming quality is that he was always good to you and your sister."

"What about Mama 'Laine?" Emily asked, as they headed over to the buffet.
"She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

"I know, sweetie, and believe me when I tell ya that fact nauseates me to no
end," Aria answered. "But for Mid-Winter's sake, we won't go into that
tonight."

"Won' go intah what?" Elaine asked, interrupting her conversation with a
gentleman from the nineteen forties.

"Why Uncle Adam just wandered off with Uncle Lucien," Emily quickly covered.
"Another new boyfriend?"

"Watch who you're calling a boyfriend, toots," the 'man' said, turning around.

"Oh, hey Chronos," Emily replied, waving sheepishly.

"Hey yourself," Chronos waved back.

The mutant rolled her eyes and turned back to Elaine. "You owe me so f'in'
big for this," she grumbled. "First all the bullshit I had to go through to
get you here and now everybody thinks I'm a f'in' guy!"

"It was the onlay costume yah'd weah," Elaine shrugged. "But weh reallay do
appreciate it. Anay ideah when she's ahrivin'?"

"I don't even know why I'm here," Chronos sighed. "It's such a stupid f'in'
holiday."

"Did you have to invite Chronos?" Richie asked, walking over to them.

"Watch it, Ryan," Chronos shot back. "Ya know, Cory and I were having the
most interesting discussion on incendiary devices. I'd be more than happy to
give him a demonstration."

"Yes, Ah did," Elaine interrupted. "Ah needed hah help with somethin'."

"Speaking of which," Chronos replied, "she should have been here by now. All
I can figure is she got ... distracted."

Before anyone could ask who 'she' was, Lou announced it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Matthew McCormick of Salisbury and Fleur de Brabant."


While most of the crowd were still stunned, or didn't know enough to be
stunned, Carolyan pushed through, with Duncan in tow. "Matkack, what's Lou
babbling about?"

"Why don' yah wait fah the doahs tah open an' see fah yahself?" Elaine
suggested.

Everyone waited as a pair in medieval garb stepped out of the elevator. 

Emily was just as confused as her sister. "Mama 'Laine, how can Fleur be
showing up when you're already here?"

Elaine, at least the person they had thought was Elaine, took a cheese puff
from the buffet and ate it. "It's verrah simple. Ah'm not the Elaine y'all ah
familiah with."

Chronos turned to Richie. "Now you know why I'm here, jackass."

"What do you mean not the Elaine we're familiar with?" Richie asked.

"Quantum universes," Aria answered.

"Oh not that again!" Richie groaned.

"'Fraid so, dipwad," Chronos said.

"Would someone mind telling me what's going on?" MacLeod asked.

"Ever heard of Schrodinger's Cat?" Chronos replied.

"Of course, that's when you stick a cat in a box, along with a vial of
poison controlled by an atom of radium, hooked up so as the radium decays, it
opens the vial and kills the cat. But since nobody knows exactly when the
vial will open, the cat's alive and dead at the same time, until you open the
box. It's used as an analogy for quantum mechanics, even though it's not a
very good one," Mac said, sounding very much like a pompous old professor.
"Is that what this is about, quantum mechanics?"

"Well I'll be damned," Chronos said, "Kiltboy here _actually_ knows
something."

"It takes him a while, an usuallay yah have tah beat it in with a
sledgehammah, but occasion'lay a few facts do manage tah sink intah his
head," Elaine smirked.

Chronos took a sip of her non-alcoholic punch to hide her grin before
continuing. "Quantum mechanics is a good enough way of putting it. This guy I
work with, Hank, calls it the shrimp fried rice theory."

"The what?" Richie asked.

"Okay, say every day for lunch you go to the same burger joint and order the
same thing," Chronos began. "But one day, you have this incredible craving
for shrimp fried rice, so you go to this new Chinese place instead. Only the
shrimp turns out to be bad, so you get food poisoning, spend the next week in
bed, lose out on an important assignment at your job, lose your promotion,
and spend the rest of your life avoiding Chinese restaurants like the plague
while stuck in this dead end job. But, at the same time, a different reality
is created where you didn't go to the Chinese place, you went to your burger
joint. So you didn't get sick, you didn't miss that assignment, you got your
promotion, and went on to buy a Chinese restaurant. Or whatever. The point
is, the main theory is that for every decision you have made in your life, no
matter how tiny, there's a reality where you made the different one and
something else happened."

"You mean like the alternate time line that was created when Mac got his
head chopped off in sixteen twenty-five that you and I went back to fix?"
Richie asked.

Chronos grinned. It was not a pretty sight, but at least it wasn't an evil
grin. "I am _so_ glad you brought that up," she said. "See, this is the
Elaine from that reality."

Everyone looked at Elaine, who smiled and waved her fingers, then started
talking at once.

"You're not a vampire."

"Where's Mama 'Laine?"

"Who are you?"

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"But if you're not a vampire and you don't buzz, why are you still alive?"

Chronos let out an ear-shattering whistle, immediately getting everyone's
attention. "If you all would shut the hell up for one f'in' minute, we can
get this whole <USA BLEEP> thing sorted out," she said. Then she turned back
to Elaine. "You know, I really hate these PG-13 stories. I can't swear worth
shit in 'em."

"Tell meh abou' it," Elaine agreed. "The onlay two who've go'en anay this
ev'nin' ah Cahrolyan an' Duncan an' they wah in the closet."

"Richie!" Duncan hissed.

Carolyan just blushed.

"Don't look at me, I didn't tell her," Richie replied. "I'm just as confused
about all this as the rest of you."

"Ah have good eahs," Elaine told them. "Tah ansah yah questions, no, Ah'm
not a vampiah, Ah don' even think vampiahs exis' wheah Ah come from, the
Elaine y'all know is back home at Anda Savan enjoyin' mah gran'children an'
the reason Ah'm still alive, if yah call it that, is because Aria, mah Aria
that is, gave meh half hah soul."

That last comment was greeted with a chorus of "Huh?"

"The Great Mother works in mysterious ways," Aria replied, smiling.

"That She does," Elaine agreed. "Mos' of the time Ah don' even undahstand
what She tells meh an' Ah'm closah tah hah than even Aria is."

Another round of "Huh?" worked its way through the crowd.

The non-vampire bit her lip. "Yah know how the Elaine y'all know had LaCroix
brin' hah across an' he has a cah'in' amoun' of authahritay ovah hah?
Andraven is in a similah position fah meh, onlay from what Ah gathah, She's a
lot nicah."

"There's the biggest understatement of all time," Aria muttered.

"Mother," Emily admonished.

"Oh, Ah don' mind," Elaine said. "Ah don' like him much eithah, though Ah cn
undahstand why she does. Ah feel the same way fah Callenck."

"Is anybody else as confused as I am?" Richie sighed.

"Nice to know this Studpuppy's just as thick headed as the one I'm used to,"
Elaine said in Andraven to Aria. "Ah mean Aria," she then clarified in
English. "She saved meh from Reese the way LaCroix did yah Elaine."

"Incredible," Richie breathed.

"Amazing," Emily added.

"Way to go, Matvan!" Carolyan said.

Aria shrugged. "From what I know, every universe where the three of us
exist, we're together," she replied.

"Theah ah a couple univahses wheah weh don', like the one wheah Aria an' Ah
find out Richay's da'in' both of us, drump him an' become lovahs, but fah the
mos' paht weh ha," Elaine said. "This is a pahday good one, though. Ah've
seen a lot wahse."

"Well, there is the one where I found you before Reese or LaCroix and Duncan
found Richie a lot sooner too so the three of us are actually pretty well
adjusted," Aria said. "But all in all this is still one of the best."

"Wait a minute," Richie said. "You knew about these other dimensions?"

Aria nodded.

"And you never told me?"

Aria shrugged. "Well, I really just found out about them m'self," she
explained. "Andraven only lets me in on these things when She decides they're
important."

"But why didn't you tell me about this Elaine coming here?" Richie asked.

"Fah the same reason Ah couldn' tell yah Emilay was Aria's escaht," Elaine
told him. "THEY wan'ed it tah beh a sahprise. Annoyin' ahn' they?"

"Totally," Richie agreed. "So how did you get here and our Elaine get there?"

"That's where I come in, dorkweed," Chronos answered. "Dorkweed? Shit, I
can't even get a decent insult in." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of
her nose and then continued. "Anyway, you know how I see time as energy lines
sort of moving constantly through and around everything? Well, because of
that I can see the points where time lines diverge and those alternate
realities are created. Now I don't like to do this 'cause it takes a lot out
of me and leaves me wiped for days afterwards, but if I concentrate, I can
find the point where a time line split and then use my powers to 'jump' into
that alternate time line. So Elaine and Aria here call me up, ask me to jump
Elaine over to this other universe and then jump this Elaine back over here.
And in return I get to come to this borin' as shit hooten-nanny."

A young red-headed man came forward. "Actually, this is more of a shindig
than a hooten-nanny," he said.

"Oz, this is neither the time, the place, nor the universe," Chronos replied.

"Oh, sorry," Oz replied. He grabbed a plate of hors d'oeuvres and then
headed back into the crowd.

Sighing, Richie led Elaine away from the others. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yah wan't ah know wabou' yah coun'ahpah'," Elaine guessed when they were
alone. Or as alone as they could get, anyway. "Methos tol' meh yah had
visi'ed him once, tah get thin's back right 'n' propah in yah own time line."

"He remembers that?" Richie replied. "Chronos told me we'd be the only ones
who'd remember once we put the time line straight again. Well, tell him I'm
sorry I threatened him the next time you talk to him, okay?" Then he sighed.
"But yeah, I do wanna know about my double. I mean, if all of us are together
in some way in every universe where we all exist, then you have to at least
know him, right? So is he okay? Is he safe and happy and all that shit?"

"No one in yah time line may remembah it, but it's still mah time line, sah
nothin's changed," Elaine reminded him. "But Ah'll tell him yah said that.
He's stayin' at Anda Savan right now, sah it won' beh that hahd."

"The old geezer's over there too?" Richie asked. "Boy, he really gets around
doesn't he?"

"Andraven sent meh aftah the Hahsemen an' he waz the fahst one Ah found.
Onlay instead of meh killin' him, weh ended up in bed instead," Elaine said.

"Oh I bet Aria just loved that," Richie replied with heavy sarcasm on loved.

"Aria didn' know abou' that," she corrected. "At that time weh hadn' seen
each othah fah sev'ral decades."

"No, I just meant 'cause of her history with the old guy," Richie explained.

"What hist'ray?" the blonde asked. "Aria nevah met him until Ah introduced
them."

"You mean they weren't lovers for awhile?" Richie asked. Then he sighed
again. "I _really_ hate quantum universes."

"Methos an' Callenck wah lovahs?" Elaine repeated. "Ah mean yah Methos an'
Aria?"

Richie nodded. "For about twenty years," he answered. "Of course, this was
nearly two hundred years ago."

"Int'res'in'. Anyway, Methos an' Ah finished off the rest of his Brothahs
an' then he convinced meh tah retahn home," Elaine continued the tale. "Which
is wheah Ah met mah Richay."

"So you do know him," Richie replied.

"A'cahse," she smiled. "He's ah lovah."

Richie broke into a wide grin. "Then he is okay," he laughed with relief. "I
mean, if he's with you two and if he loves you even half as much as I love my
Ari and Elaine, then everything oughta be just about perfect for him now."

"He's verrah okay," Elaine assured him. "Theah ah a few issahs from his pas'
that weh'ah still dealin' with, an' he can' go anay place fah a few moah
decades, but othah then that, he's fine."

"Well, I could think of worse places to be stuck at than a beautiful English
estate with the two greatest loves of my life," Richie said.

"Sah cn mah Richay." Elaine paused and smiled. "This mean yah won' kiss meh
now?"

"Now I know you're Elaine," Richie laughed. Then he kissed her gently on the
cheek. "I think I'll leave the good stuff to my counterpart, after all, he
deserves it more than I do."

"Richay," Elaine placed a hand behind his head so he couldn't move and
kissed him soundly. "Don' think."


Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, a similar conversation was taking
place.

"It's very simple," Fleur was explaining, "Matthew needed a date and I
wanted to do it. But since I couldn't very well be a guest and host the party
at the same time, Elaine and I had a talk with Andraven and She did a little
'arranging.'"

"Arranging?" Nick repeated.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Haven't you paid attention to any of the
stories that haven't happened yet? Why don't you do a flashforward?" she
suggested. "It's the part where I tell you what I did until Elaine was born."

"Flashforward?" Nat asked.

"Yes. We vampires tend to be prone to rather vivid remembrances of things
past," LaCroix told her. "In this case, Nicholas would be remembering
something that hadn't happened yet. Normally an impossibility, but anything
can happen during one of these infernal parties."

Everyone watched Nick's face blank out while he moved ahead. For once, they
were given the perspective usually reserved for the audience and thus were
able to see what Nick saw.

"Well, that was interesting," Nat said when it was over.

"So you met Andraven when you were traveling and She arranged for you and
Elaine to be, what, separated?" Nick asked.

"Not quite," Fleur answered. "She arranged for the Elaine you see by the
buffet table to be brought in from another universe."

That went down well. Nick and Nat started while LaCroix took a drink from
his blood-champagne.

"Wait a minute. If that's not Elaine, then where's my great grandmother?"
Nat finally asked.

"In the other universe," LaCroix said. "Enjoying her new grandchildren, I
imagine."

That earned him a couple of looks. 

"You knew about the switch?" Nick asked.

"Of course I knew," LaCroix answered. "Since I would have felt the change
when it happened, Andraven saw fit to inform me first."

That was all he would say on the matter. Being interrupted in the middle of
a very delicious dream involving Divia and a spanking machine with the on/off
switch permanently broken in the on position by someone who wasn't supposed
to exist was _not_ something he wanted to dwell on.

"What I am more concerned about," he said, pointing to Matthew, "is what
Fleur is doing with _that_."

"Sir Matthew and I have a history," Fleur answered.

"What kind of history?" Nick asked.

"Fleur and I became lovers after Etienne died," Matthew said.

Nick started blustering and carrying on indignantly. LaCroix arched an
eyebrow. Nat just grinned.

"Way to go, Fleur," she laughed.

"Nicholah, I told you about Matthew," Fleur reminded him. "Didn't you read
any of my letters?"

"Well of course I did," Nick replied. "But you never said you two were ...
were...."

"Having sex," Nat finished for him. "Go on, Nick, you can say it. They 
were having sex."

"Still," Nick replied.

"C'mon, Nick," Nat said, "it's not like she was a virgin. She'd had a son,
remember?"

"And women were allowed to have needs then," Fleur added.

"Why do I bother?" Nick sighed.

"Because she's your sister and you're looking out for her," Matthew said.

"Face it, Nick," Nat added, "you're just a big ol' ball of big brother."

"Nicky's just a big ol' ball period," Fleur said.

"Women!" Nick groaned.

"Yes?" Fleur and Nat said.

"Anybody else need a drink?" Nick asked through clenched teeth.

"I could use one and I'm sure Fleur could, too," Matt said.

Nick headed towards the bar, muttering to himself as he went.

"I'm afraid Nicholas has never had a full appreciation of the fairer sex,"
LaCroix said, stepping closer.

"Tell me about it," Nat agreed.

"How are you and Nicholas getting along?" he asked. "Is he still running off
to Janette every chance he gets?"

"Pretty much, yep," Nat answered. "For somebody who swears he doesn't want
to be a vampire, he sure spends a lot of time hanging out with them."

"Nicholah has never known what he wanted," Fleur said. "Even growing up, he
always had at least two girls on the hook."

"Well, I can't speak for Janette, but this girl's gettin' pretty damn tired
of hanging around, if you know what I mean," Nat replied.

"Then why wait? I'm sure there are other men who would enjoy your
attentions," LaCroix suggested.

"Well, there is _somebody_ who might prove to be rather interesting," Nat
admitted. "But, uh, I'm not sure how my 'condition' might affect things."

"Who?" Fleur asked.

"I'd rather not say," Nat answered. "THEY want me to keep it a surprise."

"How do you stand it all?" Matthew asked. "Having other people controlling
your life and what you can say and do?"

"Hey, right now THEY're controlling you as much as THEY are us," Nat pointed
out. "Who do you think decided to give you that past with Fleur?"

"Well, I had hoped that was my own choice," he said. "I gather it wasn't?"

"Nope," Nat answered.

"I suggest you not worry about it, my friend," LaCroix suggested. "Even your
precious God controls the lives of his believers."

"Think about stuff like this too much and your head's libel to explode," Nat
added. "And I really don't want to be the one to do the autopsy report on
that one."

"And I would not want you to lose your head either," Fleur added. "I
wouldn't be able to kiss it then."

Matthew smiled. "And I can't think of a better reason to keep it firmly
attached." Then to prove his point, he kissed her.

Naturally, that was when Nick returned, carrying a tray of drinks.

Nat grabbed the tray quickly before Nick could drop them all over the
Immortal-former-knight-turned FBI-agent.

"Why don't I just take that," she said. "Matt, yours is the clear champagne."

"I can see that," he said, taking his glass and a pinkish one for Fleur.

"Nicholas, why don't you go save Janette from that annoying Raines fellow?"
LaCroix suggested.

"Cory's here?" Matthew asked. "Then I think I'll go with you."

"I shall go as well," Fleur said.  "I would love to meet your student,
Matthew. Between you and Aria, I have heard many good things about him. Even
if his personality is a bit, how should I put this, explosive?"

The three walked over to where Cory was telling Janette obviously
exaggerated stories of his exploits.

"Funny, I thought that one ended with you landing face first in a pile of
horse manure," Matthew said, picking up on the tail end of Cory's current
story.

"Nicholah!" Janette jumped at the chance for escape. "Come, let's dance."
She grabbed Nick's arm and led him to the dance floor before he had a chance
to protest.

Shrugging it off, Cory turned around to greet his former teacher and the
woman at his side. "Why Matthew, how thoughtful," he said. "One beautiful
woman leaves and you bring me an even lovelier one to replace her."

"Thank you," Fleur almost blushed. "Matthew's told me a lot about you."

"If it's anything like that last comment, don't believe a word of it," Cory
replied.

"Then I shouldn't believe that you were the original Robin Hood or that you
always help the misfortunate?" Fleur teased.

"Well, _that_ part of it was true," Cory answered. "What can I say? I'm a
soft touch."

"You're thick headed and you can't resist a challenge" Matt corrected.

"Ah, you're just jealous 'cause I'm the one they wrote about," Cory shot back.

"I don't need to be written about, my record stands for itself," Matt
insisted.

"And you're both too good of friends to argue tonight," Fleur interrupted.

Cory bowed low. "Far be it from me to disagree with a beautiful woman," he
replied.

"You know, it's real interesting you said that," Matt said. "Because we have
a proposition for you."

"A proposition?" Cory asked. "Okay, how much is it going to hurt?"

"You're going to die," Fleur answered. "But it's an enjoyable death."

"Excuse me?!"

"THEY have provided a way around the Game wherein we don't have to kill each
other," Matt explained. "If you're interested." 

"What do I have to do?" Cory asked suspiciously.

Fleur leaned over and whispered into Cory's ear.

"I WHAT????"


As if led by some silent signal, most of the Immortals raised their heads at
the same time. Everyone, in fact, except Duncan MacLeod.

"What?" he asked Carolyan.

Carolyan patted his arm. "Nothing, love, don't worry about it," she said.
"You'll find out about it in a couple of centuries."

Duncan sighed. "I really hate these parties," he replied.

"Then why do you keep coming to them?" she teased. "Besides THEM telling you
to?"

"I have no earthly idea," Duncan answered. "That's the problem."

"Maybe it's because you're a closet masochist," Emily suggested. "I gather
Mama 'Laine got another one?"

"Feels that way," Carolyan answered.

"Got what?" Mac asked.

"Nothing," the girls said in unison.

"Matkack's just working her way through the Immortals," Carolyan then added.

"Why am I not surprised?" Duncan replied, rolling his eyes. "Although I
didn't think you two would be able to feel that."

"The Goddess works in mysterious ways," Emily said. "Cory?"

"Has to be," Carolyan said. "She's done everyone else here."

"Other than the three of us, of course," Emily quickly added at Duncan's
stricken look.

"Okay, I know about Richie and Aria, but she's slept with Methos?" Duncan
asked.

"Couple of times," Emily answered.

"So has Dad," Carolyan added.

Duncan started to turn green. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope," they both said.

"Screwin' Uncle Meaty's almost a family tradition," Emily added.

For a brief instant, Mac wondered how much of the family held that
tradition, then he decided he didn't want to know. "What about Connor?" he
asked instead.

"Did him before we were born," Emily said.

"Before or after she got pregnant and do I really want to know?"

"Before," Carolyan assured him.

"Well there's a relief, I think," Duncan sighed. "What about Matthew?"

"He and Fleur were lovers in the thirteenth century," she said.

"But they did it again, just to be sure it counted," Emily added.

"Amanda?"

Emily and Carolyan exchanged a look.

"SHE SLEPT WITH AMANDA?!"

"You already know about that, Mac," Carolyan reminded him.

"I do?" Duncan asked, confused.

"Or you will," Emily said. "But that story hasn't happened yet."

"I don't feel so good," Duncan sighed.

"Now you know how Dad feels about these parties," Carolyan said. "But he
puts up with THEM because of his sex life."

"But I don't need THEM for a sex life," Duncan pointed out. "Hell, THEY
don't even like me. Obviously."

"Yes, you do," Emily contradicted him. "Who do you think set you up with
Carolyan?"

Duncan sighed. "I'm in big trouble, aren't I?"

"Only if we break up or I die," Carolyan said, smiling.

"Then I better make sure that doesn't happen, huh?" Duncan replied, suddenly
feeling a lot better.

"Yup," she agreed, going in for a kiss. 

Emily sighed. "Now I think _I'm_ gonna be sick."



Meanwhile, Aria was standing with a group of young people in oddly colored
uniforms.

"Enjoyin' yourselves so far?" she asked.

"Considering you're the third person we recognize here, and you only from a
holopic, we're having a blast," a blond man stepped forward. "You must be
Aria. Elaine's told us a lot about you. I'm Tom Paris and this is B'Elanna
Torres, Sharah Norian, Neelix, Harry Kim, Seven of Nine, Doc, Kathryn
Janeway, Tuvok and Chakotay." He held out his hand for Aria to shake.

"Pleasure to meet ya'll," Aria replied as she shook Tom's hand. "So 'Laine
knows ya all from our future, right?"

"So we've heard," Janeway said. "We're still wondering how we got here."

Aria shrugged. "Truth be told, none of us are really sure how we get here,"
she replied. "We just know that THEY brought us here."

The crew looked at each other and said as one being, "Q."

Suddenly there was a flash of light behind them.

"You rang?" a man in a Santa Claus suit and carrying a red bag said.

"Q!" Elaine appeared with Richie in tow. "What the ... ah yah doin' in this
stahrah? Yah wan' invited. Get out!"

"'Laine, I'm hurt," Q replied. "Just for that, no present from Santa Q for
you."

The blonde pulled up short. "Presen's?"

"Of course, presents," Q answered. "Why else would _I_, the great and
powerful Q, dress up in this gaudy thing? Really, I'd think you'd know me
better than that by now."

"Ah know yah a whole lot be'ah then that," she said.

"Him, too?" Mac was heard to say in the background, followed by the twins
hushing him.

Elaine ignored him. "Which is why Ah know be'ah then tah trust yah. What do
yah wan', Q?"

Q turned to Janeway. "Kathy, baby, help me out here," he said. "Here I am,
trying to do something good and selfless and this is the thanks I get. You
trust me, don't you?"

"In a word, no," Janeway answered. "The only time you ever do something good
and selfless is to see what kind of mess you can cause. You haven't answered
Elaine's question. What do you want, Q?"

"To hand out presents so THEY can finish this blasted story," Q answered,
indignant. "And just for that, no presents from Santa Q for you either."

"Well, why didn' yah say sah?" Elaine let go of Richie, disappeared and
reappeared next to Q with her arms around his neck and her head on his
shoulder. "Ev'ryone heah's nice an' all, but Ah miss Ariack," she said,
planting a big kiss on his face.

"Oh don't you try playing nice with me now," Q huffed. "Isn't that always
the way? I show up for a little fun and it's 'Go away, Q.' 'We don't trust
you, Q.' 'What do you want, Q?' But the minute they want something, I'm
everybody's bestest buddy. I mean, really, what nerve!"

"Oh, but jus' a'mit it, yah like it when weh get uppi'ay," she said, toying
with the top button of his suit.

"No, I like it when Picard gets uppity," Q replied. "On you, it's annoying."

"Sah what do yah like meh tah do?" she asked, working on the next button,
the first one already undone.

"Right now," Q replied, "I'd like you to kindly stop that so we can keep
this thing PG-13 and so I can get this Santa thing over with."

Elaine paused, her fingers still on button number three. "An' Kathryn an' Ah
still get ah presen's?"

"Maybe," Q pouted.

"Pahday please?"

"One condition," Q answered.

"What?"

Q snapped his fingers and a sprig of mistletoe appeared over his head. "You
two want your gifts, you gotta give me a kiss."

"No problem." Elaine placed her hands behind his ears and gave him a long
kiss on the lips.

After taking a second to recover, Q snapped his fingers and a brightly
wrapped package appeared in Elaine's hands. "Your turn, Kathy," he said to
the starship captain

Janeway didn't move.

"Go on," Harry nudged her. "It's Christmas, after all."

"You two have got to be kidding me," Janeway sighed.

"C'mon, Captain," Tom backed Harry up. "Get into the holiday spirit."

"This is beginning to border on mutiny," Janeway pointed out.

"Not if I order it," the Doc said. "Then it's medical advise."

Grumbling to herself about court-martials and deleted programming, Janeway
went to give Q a very reluctant peck on the cheek.

Q turned his head at the last minute, so the kiss landed on his lips instead.

Q snapped his fingers, giving Janeway her present. "There, now was that so
bad?" he asked.

"I think I need to wash my mouth out with soap," she commented. "What about
the rest of my crew?"

"Well, Seven, B'Elanna, and Norian aren't too bad, but Chalky over there
isn't exactly my type, you know?" Q replied.

"I'll do theah kisses," Elaine offered. "An' theah's still the rest of the
gues's."

"This could prove interesting," Q replied, grinning. He snapped his fingers
again and every one of the guests found themselves sitting around a large
Christmas tree, each with a present in his or her lap.

"Much be'ah," Elaine said, before digging into her box.

"Q, this is pahfect," she exclaimed. "How did yah evah know?"

"I'm omnipotent of course," Q replied. "I know _everything_."

"Elaine's right," Richie agreed with her. "This is ... this is great."

"Oh pish, do go on," Q replied, waving them off.

The rest of the guests quickly added their own agreements that their
presents were exactly what they wanted.

"See, I can be a good guy," Q said to Elaine. "Ready?"

"Yah takin' meh home?" the blonde asked.

"You and everybody else that doesn't belong in this twisted little tale," Q
answered.

"Let meh say goodbye tah ev'ryone." Elaine walked around the room, hugging
and kissing the guests, saving Richie for last.

"Make sure you remind my double how lucky he is," Richie said as he gave her
a hug.

"He alreaday knoss," she told him, kissing him back. "But Ah'll remind him
jus' in case."

She then returned to Q, indicating she was ready to leave.

Q snapped his fingers and everyone was suddenly returned to their rightful
places in their respective universes, leaving Ari, Richie, and Fleur behind.


Fleur slumped over, Richie catching her just in time to prevent her from
falling to the floor.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, concerned.

"Weh'ah okay, meh retahnin' was jus' a li'le sudden, that's all," Elaine
assured him.

Richie smiled, relieved. "Good to have you back, beautiful," he said.

"Nice tah beh back," she said, returning the smile.

"Have fun playin'?" Aria asked.

"It was ... intahrestin'. Nobody quite knew what tah make of meh since
they'd nevah seen a vampiah befoah."

"I could definitely see how that would mess 'em up," Aria replied, grinning.

"They wah real intahrested when Ah tol' them abou' the twins," Elaine said.
"Ah think Ah've given them a few ideahs."

"Leave it to you and go and start somethin'," Aria laughed. She and Richie
helped El to stand up and then both gave her a welcome home kiss.

"Ah have somethin' fah yah," Elaine said as they led her to the couch.

"Aside from your radiant beauty and overwhelming charm?" Richie asked, only
half teasing.

"It's Chris'mas, isn't it?" she teased back. "Ah had Q hide them undah the
tree befoah he lef' If one of yah'd caah tah go get them?"

Richie got up and grabbed the few packages that were under the tree. "Looks
like you weren't the only one hiding things under the tree," he laughed. 

"Let me see," Aria said, taking the presents from Richie. "This two are
marked Elaine, these two are for Richie, and these are mine." 

"Don't you just love how these work out?" Richie grinned, taking his
packages. 

"One from each of us tah each of us," Elaine agreed, taking hers and opening
the first one. Untying the ribbon around the tube of paper, she looked at it.
"Ah don' recognize this piece."

"I should certainly hope not," Aria replied, "what with the fact that I had
it written special for ya."

"Fah meh?" the blonde repeated. "An ahriginal Wildhahn an' Bricusse wri'en
jus' fah meh?" 

"No, for Mr. Tone Deaf over there," Aria replied, cocking her head towards
Richie. "Of course for you, silly." 

Elaine hummed a few bars, enchanting the Immortals. "Oh, this is lovelay,"
she decided. "Absolutelay lovelay."

"I'm glad you like it," Aria said. "It was hard gettin' what I wanted
across, what with m'not knowin' that much about music, but I think it turned
out pretty good."

"It is," Elaine assured her. "It's one of the pahdayes' pieces weh've evah
hahd."

"Nice to know Fleur approves too," Aria laughed.

"Of course I do," Fleur said. "I'd love anything you gave me."

"Open mine now," Elaine then said.

Aria grabbed the package and ripped it open. "Oh 'Laine, it's absolutely
beautiful," she breathed.

"Yah reallay like it?" the blonde asked. "Mama had a set jus' like it that
Papa gave tah hah fah a weddin' presen'."

"They're stunning," Aria answered, taking the brush, comb and hand mirror
out of the box. "The details on these are just breathtakin'. They're almost
too pretty to use."

"Yah won' use them?" Elaine asked, hurt.

"'Laine, I said almost," Aria answered teasing. "We'll have to break 'em in
good next time you get the urge to do m'braid for me."

"Promise?"

Aria nodded. "Promise."

"Good," Elaine smiled, then turned to Richie. "Yah tahn."

"Whose do I open first?" he asked.

The two women looked at each other. "Mine," Elaine decided.

Richie ripped the paper off the box and opened it. "Hey, this is great!" he
said, taking the watch out and replacing the one on his wrist with it.

"Ah had that custom made,' Elaine said. "It's supposed tah beh light'nin'-
proof, sah a Quickenin' won' ruin it."

"Even better," Richie replied. "You wouldn't believe how many watches I've
fried since becoming Immortal, it's ridiculous."

"Considahrin' the numbah yah wen' through on that spree of yahs, Ah have a
faah ideah," she reminded him.

"Let's not remind me of that, shall we?" Aria asked, trying to change the
subject.

"Then why don' yah open yah othah presen'?" Elaine suggested. "The one
Richay got yah."

Aria opened the box and burst out laughing. "This is too bloody perfect!"

"What?" Elaine asked.

Aria handed her the box. "Guess who this is supposed to represent?" she
teased.

Elaine looked inside and picked up a small Confederate Battle Flag charm.
"Ah have no ahthlay ideah," she teased. "Othah then meh havin' the real thin'
in mah Seacouvah apah'men', that is."

Richie grinned. "I had to all but _go_ down south to find that thing too,"
he said. "But if Ari's the sword and I'm the motorcycle, then that had to be
Elaine."

"Well it's lovelay," she agreed. "Hol' out yah wris' an' Ah'll put it on,"
she told Aria.

Aria did as she was told, holding out the silver charm bracelet that always
adorned her right wrist.

Elaine opened the link, then closed it on the bracelet. "Theah now, how's
that?"

"Absolutely perfect," Aria answered as she gave the blonde a quick kiss.
Then she gave Richie a slightly longer one in thanks.

"Why don't you open your other one, Elaine?" Richie suggested, wanting to go
last.

"All right." Elaine untied the ribbon around the scroll and read it. "Astra
Fleur Elaine?" she asked.

Richie's grin could only be described as little boyish. "I got you a star,"
he answered.

"I didn't know you could do that," Fleur said. "This is wonderful. How did
you know?"

"I found it in of those weird catalogs Ari's always getting," Richie
explained. "You know, the ones they always send out to rich people who have
everything? And it was Nick's suggestion. He said growing up you always used
to stay up late to watch them."

"I'm surprised he remembered that," Fleur said. "That was a long time ago
and one of the things that first attracted Lucien and I to each other."

"I think that's part of the reason why Nick told me," Richie replied.

"To overshadow my memories of Lucien," Fleur reasoned. "Figures. He never
did approve of our feelings for each other." She sighed and put down the
scroll. "But that's all in the past now. Old memories are old memories and
now I have something better. I have you two."

Richie leaned over and kissed her gently. "So both of you like?" he asked.

"A'cahse," Elaine said. "Weh love it."

Richie smiled with relief. "Good, I'm glad."

That left one more present, for Richie. He opened the very large, wrapped
rectangle and gasped. "Oh my."

"Ya like?" Aria asked.

Richie nodded, currently no longer capable of speech.

"Ah think that's a yes," Elaine teased.

The painting was a life-sized portrait of his two loves in bed together in a
very alluring pose. Elaine was completely nude and just beginning to remove
Aria's black teddy, which just happened to be his favorite piece of her
lingerie. 

"Oh my," Richie replied again. "This is.... This is.... Oh my."

Elaine couldn't resist. "Ah think that's a definite yes," she corrected
herself, looking at his crotch.

Aria did a quick investigation herself. "Oh yeah, that's a definite yes,"
she agreed.

Richie gently leaned the painting against the wall and went over to his
lovers. Then he gave them both a long, slow, passionate kiss in turn. "I
absolutely love it," he said. "And I absolutely love both of you."

"An' weh luv yah," Elaine answered. "Caah fah a re-enac'men' of the pain'in'?"

Richie grabbed a hand from each lady and pulled them to their feet. "I
thought you'd never ask."

THE END!

Merry Christmas Everyone!