I love my pets,
This is their home,
From which, I hope,
They never roam.
They're faithful friends,
I love them best,
This is their home,
You are a guest.
If pets to you,
Are just a peeve,
Then by all means,
Feel free to leave.
~
Author Unknown ~
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Who ever said, "Let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs. The
first thing you
discover when you bring a dog into your bed is the striking difference in weight
between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.
Rule#1: The deeper the sleep the heavier
the dog.
Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal
deformities rather than rent the
heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate
part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until
they have achieved the center position on the bed, with all covers carefully tucked
under them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining
territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm
his
way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs,
shove a sleeping human to the floor.
Rule #2: The deeper the sleep the louder
the dog.
As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing
you had covers, your sweet pup begins
to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible. Once that quiets down,
the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed becomes a
battlefield and playground of canine fantasy. It starts out with a bit of
"sleep running",
lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night
like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It
is
particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head
like a demented Daniel Boone cap.
Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.
The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the
3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog.
The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh sleeps breathing heavily
and passing wind. Then, too soon, it's dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a
distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself
centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent
results simply by sneezing on your face, or the could roam all over your sleeping
bodies, or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.
So, why do we put up with this? There's
no sane reason. Perhaps it's just that we're
a pack and a pack heaps together at night safe, contented, heavy and loud.
~
Author Unknown ~
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