PAT BOONE ON BERZERK RAMPAGE

AP Anaheim, Feb 21 1997

Christian hipster and big band - heavy metal - gospel performer Pat Bone

shocked viewers on the Trilateral Broadcast Network when 2300 club broadcast a

lurid home movie, Friday. According to sources, the video footage transmitted

during the regular 2300 club eight oclock news report, depicts Pat performing

a wide variety of criminal and amoral activities over a six day period. The

home made 'documentary', narrated by former child star Davie Osmoon, was made

in 1996 during a week long cocaine and alcohol binge, some of which took place

in the lavish home of Big'Uns Magazine publisher Harry Flant, as well as in

various other locations across the southwest.

Throughout the tape Pat Appears wearing a tight PVC bondage outfit, a

green mohawk haircut, and pink high heel shoes. At several points he proudly

displayed his grotesquely peirced genetallia. A badly mixed sound track

played death metal, gangster rap, and AABA in the background.

Pat laughed and giggled during the lurid scenes, while huffing gas,

smoking crack, engaging in oral sex with prostitutes, and distributing

pornography to mentally disabled minors in a trailer park in San Bernadino,

California. During the second half of the engaging movie, Pat was seen

digging up corpses and performing necrophillia in a San Diego graveyard during

a Satanic ritual conducted by Church of Satan frontman Tony LaVoom. Pat then

crossed the border into Mexico, where he performed a partial-birth abortion on

a fourteen year old girl, and then returned driving several illegal aliens

across the U.S. \ Mexican border near San Ysidro in a stolen hearse. In a

final segment during three days spent in a desert campground in Arizona, Pat

is clearly shown teaching nazi bikers how to set up a clandestine

methamphetimine drug lab, and making pipe bombs with members of the Viper

Militia.

Pat had no comment when contacted by AP Friday night, but was reportedly

seen at a Beverly Hills medical clinic where records indicate he has paid for

breast implant surgery. According to an inside source, after recovering from

the surgery and getting used to his new breasts, Pat is planning to return to

San Diego, where he will steal a city bus and start on a cross country

pilgrimage to visit the grave of notorious punk rock lowlife Kevin Michael

('GG') Allen, where he will explode the bus and himself with 500 home-made

pipe bombs he has constructed, as a tribute to Satan.

TBN has announced that they will not carry his long running Gospel music

show for the forseeable future.

Drifter "Bob" reporting for AP (ANT PRESS) News