"I Can't Believe It's Not Slack!"

Yes, now you can have all the rich taste and fresh scent of actual Slack

without that annoying sloth and laziness that may interfere with your job

and purchasing habits! It's "I Can't Believe It's Not Slack"! Fat-free,

cholesterol-free and best of all, Slack-Free - but only you will know that

it isn't real Texas-grown Slack!

"How can he have so much Slack and yet hold down two jobs AND work

overtime?" your friends and neighbors wonder. Only you will know that

it's thanks to "I Can't Believe It's Not Slack"!

Available in your local supermarket, right next to the frozen gutted

prairie squid.

- The IrReverend Friday Jones