Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption

by Bob Arson

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This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human

body from the full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat.

As in any field, there are a number of methods to the practice,

and you may wish to view this as a set of suggestions rather

than concrete rules. You will notice that the carving of the

larger or "commercial" cuts down into smaller specific or

"retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing, and not

concentrated upon. Also, the use of human fat and viscera is

generally avoided, and left only to the most experimental chef.

These choices, along with recipes and serving suggestions, are

nearly infinite in variety, and we leave them to you. We've

found these guidelines to be simple and functional, but

recognize that there is always room for improvement and we

welcome your suggestions.

Before getting to the main task, it must be mentioned that the

complete rendering of the human carcass requires a fairly large

amount of time, effort, and space. If the consumer does not

wish to go through the ordeal of processing and storing the

bulk of the entire animal, an easy alternative is as follows.

Simply saw through one or both legs at the points directly

below the groin and a few inches above the knee. Once skinned,

these portions may then be cut into round steaks of the

carver's preferred thickness, cut into fillets, deboned for a

roast, etc. Meat for several meals is thus readily obtained

without the need for gutting and the complexities of preparing

the entire form.

The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history

as "long pig" and "hairless goat" in the case of younger

specimens) is not generally thought of as a staple food source.

Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one can see that the animal

is neither built nor bred for its meat, and as such will not

provide nearly as much flesh as a pig or cow (for example, an

average 1000 pound steer breaks down to provide 432 pounds of

saleable beef). The large central pelvis and broad shoulder

blades also interfere with achieving perfect cuts. There are

advantages to this however, especially due to the fact that the

typical specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily

manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.

Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It

is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter

are kept in tightly controlled environments with their health

and diet carefully maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only

is the meat of each person of varying quality, but people are

also subject to an enormous range of diseases, infections,

chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically

increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses

its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is

ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months

old is a more common slaughtering point. You will obviously

want a youthful but mature physically fit human in apparently

good health. A certain amount of fat is desirable as

"marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We

personally prefer firm caucasian females in their early

twenties. These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a very

large herd.

The butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work (an

interior location is suggested), and a large table for a

butcher's block. A central overhead support will need to be

chosen or installed ahead of time to hang the carcass from.

Large tubs or barrels for blood and waste trimmings should be

convenient, and a water source close by. Most of the work can

be done with a few simple tools: sharp, clean short and long

bladed knives, a cleaver or hatchet, and a hacksaw.

Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For

best results and health, freshness is imperative. A living

human in captivity is optimal, but not always available. When

possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but

plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system, purging

stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making bleeding and

cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will

then be stunned into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to

the head are best, tranquilizers not being recommended as they

may taint the flavor of the meat. If this is not possible

without exciting the animal and causing a struggle (which will

pump a greater volume of blood and secretions such as

adrenaline throughout the body), a single bullet through the

middle of the forehead or back of the skull will suffice.

Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready

to be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the

head down. This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple

loops of rope may be tied around the hands and feet and then

attached to a crossbar or overhead beam. Or, by making a cut

behind the Achilles tendon, a meathook may be inserted into

each ankle for hanging support. The legs should be spread so

that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the arms roughly

parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis, and

keeps the arms out of the way in a ready position for removal.

It's easiest to work if the feet are slightly above the level

of the butcher's head.

Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head.

With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and

make a deep "ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the

opposite side. This will sever the internal and external

carotid arteries, the major blood vessels carrying blood from

the heart to the head, face, and brain. If the animal is not

yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and allow for the blood to

drain in any case. After the initial rush of blood, the stream

should be controllable and can be directed into a receptacle.

Drainage can be assisted by massaging the extremities down in

the direction of the trunk, and by compressing and releasing,

"pumping", the stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost

six liters of blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless

some source is waiting to use it immediately for ritual

purposes. It acts as an emetic in most people if drunk, and it

must be mentioned here that because of the eternal possibility

of AIDS it is recommended that for safety's sake all blood

should be considered to be contaminated and disposed of in some

fashion. It is not known whether an HlV-infected human's flesh

is dangerous even if cooked, but this is another item to

consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the low-risk

strata.

Beheading: When the bleeding slows, preparation for

decapitation can be started. Continue the cut to the throat

around the entire neck, from the jawline to the back of the

skull. Once muscle and ligament have been sliced away, the

head can be cleanly removed by gripping it on either side and

twisting it off, separation occurring where the spinal cord

meets the skull. This is indicative of the method to be used

for dividing other bones or joints, in that the meat should

generally be cut through first with a knife, and the exposed

bone then separated with a saw or cleaver. The merits of

keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for two principal

reasons. First, a human skull may call suspicious attention to

the new owner. Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due to

the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening

the skull. The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue

and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire

cage may be effective. The cage allows small scavengers such

as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while

preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as

dogs and children. After a sufficient period of time, you may

retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to

sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.

Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body

down. Because there is no major market for human hides,

particular care in removing the skin in a single piece is not

necessary, and makes the task much easier. The skin is in fact

a large organ, and by flaying the carcass you not only expose

the muscular configuration, but also get rid of the hair and

the tiny distasteful glands which produce sweat and oil. A

short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing into muscle

and viscera. The skin is composed of two layers, an outer

thinner one with a thicker tissue layer below it. When

skinning, first score the surface, cutting lightly to be sure

of depth and direction. The diagram of the skinning pattern is

an example of strip-style skinning, dividing the surface into

portions easy to handle. Reflect the skin by lifting up and

peeling back with one hand, while bringing the knife in as flat

to the skin as possible to cut away connective tissue. The

external genitals present only a small obstacle. In the male

the penis and scrotum can be pulled away from the body and

severed, in the female the outer lips skinned as the rest of

the body. It is important to leave the anus untouched at this

point, and a circle of skin should be left around it. You need

not bother skinning the hands and feet, these portions not

being worth the effort unless you plan to pickle them or use

them in soup. The skin can be disposed of, or made into fried

rinds. Boil the strips and peel away the outer layer, then cut

into smaller pieces and deep-fat fry in boiling oil until puffy

and crisp. Dust with garlic salt, paprika and cayenne pepper.

Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the

carcass. To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point

between the breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be

very careful not to cut into the intestines, as this will

contaminate the surrounding area with bacteria and possibly

feces (if this does happen, cleanse thoroughly). A good way to

avoid this is to use the knife inside the abdominal wall, blade

facing toward you, and making cautious progress.

Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with

twine. This also prevents contamination, keeping the body from

voiding any material left in the bowel. With a saw, cut

through the pubic bone, or "aitch". The lower body is now

completely open, and you can begin to pull the organ masses

(large and small intestines, kidneys, liver, stomach) out and

cut them away from the back wall of the body.

For the upper torso, first cut through the diaphragm around the

inner surface of the carcass. This is the muscular membrane

which divides the upper, or thoracic, and the lower abdominal

cavities. Remove the breastbone, cutting down to the point on

each side where it connects to the ribs, and then sawing

through and detaching it from the collar bone. Some prefer to

cut straight through the middle, depending on the ideas you

have for cuts in the final stages. The heart and lungs may be

detached and the throat cut into to remove the larynx and

trachea. Once all of the inner organs have been removed, trim

away any blood vessels or remaining pieces of connective tissue

from the interior of the carcass, and wash out thoroughly.

Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready

to begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and

remove the arm bone, the humerus, from the collar bone and

shoulder blade. Chop the hand off an inch or so above the

wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow and shoulder, as

the muscle groups are larger here and due to the fact that

there are two bones in the forearm. Another way of cutting

this portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the upper

arm near the shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk)

before removing the limb. This decreases the percentage of

useable meat on the arm, but allows a larger shoulder strip

when excising the shoulder blade. Purely a matter of personal

preference. Cut into and break apart the joint of the elbow,

and the two halves of each arm are now ready for carving

servings from. Human flesh should always be properly cooked

before eating.

Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split.

Some like to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to

neck. This leaves the muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on

the end of the ribs. The meat here however is tightly wrapped

about the bone, and we find it more suitable (if used at all)

when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred method is to

completely remove the entire backbone by cutting and then

sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.

Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down,

unless your preparation table or butcher block is very short.

This is inadequate, and you will have to quarter while hanging,

slicing through the side at a point of your choosing between

rib cage and pelvis. Now is also the time to begin thinking

about how you would like to serve the flesh, as this will

determine the style of cuts you are about to make. These will

also be greatly affected by the muscular configuration

(physical fitness) of your specimen. First, chop the feet off

at a point about three inches up from the ankle. The bones are

very thick where the leg connects to the foot. You will want

to divide the side of meat into two further principal portions:

the ribs and shoulder, and the half-pelvis and leg. In between

is the "flank" or belly, which may be used for fillets or

steaks, if thick enough, or even bacon strips if you wish to

cut this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh may also be

rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along the

edge of the ribs, and then decide whether you will cut steaks

from the flank into the thighs and rump, and carve accordingly.

Cutting the Top Quarter: Although not actually 25% of the meat

you will get, this is designated as one-fourth of the carcass

as divided into major portions. You may trim away the neck, or

leave it to be connected with the shoulder, or "chuck". The

first major step with this mass is to remove the shoulder blade

and the collar bone. The best and easiest way we have found is

to just cut along the outline of the shoulder blade, removing

the meat on top and then dislocating the large bone. To excise

the collar bone make an incision along its length and then cut

and pry it away. Depending upon the development of the breast,

you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it before

cutting the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely

of glands and fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing

appearance is rather inedible. The ribs are the choice cut of

the quarter. An perennial favorite for barbecuing, you may

divide into sections of several ribs each and cook them as is,

divide the strip in half for shorter ribs, or even carve rib

steaks if the muscle mass is sufficient.

Cutting the Lower Quarter: This is where most of the meat is,

humans being upright animals. The muscle mass is largest in

the legs and rump. The bulk is so comparatively large here

that you can do just about anything with it. The main pieces

are the buttock or rump and the upper leg, the thigh. Our

typical division is to cut the leg off at the bottom of the

buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the knee, at places

two to three inches away in either direction. Before doing

this, however, you may want to remove the whole calf muscle

from the back of the lower leg, as this is the best cut in its

area. The upper leg is now ready for anything, most especially

some beautiful, thick round steaks. The rump will have to be

carved from the pelvis in a rather triangular piece. The legs

attach at the hip at a forward point on the body, so there will

be little interference as you carve along the curve of the

pelvis. Remaining meat will be on the thighs in front of the

pelvis.

And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty of

storage space, or you may even wish to build a simple

old-fashioned smokehouse (just like an outhouse, with a stone

firepit instead of a shitter). Offal and other waste trimmings

can be disposed of in a number of ways, burial, animal feed,

and puree and flush being just a few. Bones will dry and

become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be

pulverized.

Bob Arson's White Devil Dinky-Dao Mothafucka Bobbacoo Sauce

Marinade/Baste/Dip/Bloody Leroy Mix

Ingredients:

1 8 oz. can tomato sauce

1 6 oz. can tomato paste

1 cup black coffee

3/4 cup beer (Killian's Red preferred)

3/4 cup fruit juice (citrus: orange/pineapple/mango type)

2 tblsp. whiskey

1 tblsp. lemon juice

1 tblsp. worcestershire sauce

1 tblsp. vinegar (red wine garlic preferred)

3 cloves garlic. minced

3 jalepeno peppers, minced

1/4 large onion, minced 1/8 red, 1/8 white preferred)

2 1/2 tsp. liquid smoke

2 tblsp. brown sugar

1 tblsp. molasses

1 1/2 tblsp. crushed red pepper

1 cube beef bouillon

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/2 tsp ground black pepper

1 1/2 tsp. paprika

1 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

3 dashes basil

3 dashes oregano

3 dashes savory

ashes of one fine thin joint

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This article reprinted without the kind permission of :

The Church of Euthanasia

P.O. Box 261 Somerville,MA

02143 USA