Subject: Let's Get MegaLizabethan
Date: 01 Jan 1998 00:00:00 GMT
From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)
Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu
Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack
Wherefor-the-fuck art the BACON? Hast thou not, through constant
tangling learned whatnot about such shit? Nay, though your dulcet lip
music is as a balm to one who lacks the salty skin of need, yet you
wouldst insist on fucking singing it!
I charge thee, tender well my ears for BACON. I would not lose them
were it here to hear. Nay, they are not for fucking practice! Wouldst
that we should blow our nails together content in discontent and in
plainness should confess THE DEVIL'S OWN BACON and keep thy tongue to
it!
Now is the sunset of our pork products, and in this closing happy time
of trials belike we must have a harpy upon ourselves to remember best
that hell hath the merest warm waftings next to the trotfire of the
flaming flesh pit that is to come!
Therefore frame your manners to the time and wring my ears with BACON
or face the sad chance which thy diseases earn a thousand times!
That's the way the pork wags, I say. Thou art not daunting my ears
with roars of "BACON!" Rather, by my fay, thou art a poor and
loathsome courier of "Gee whiz!" striving mightily and slipping the
inconstant frenzied bacon in its stead!
I beseech you, softly, WHERE'S THE FUCKING BACON?
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Spunky: "Lookit all the foot prints! Lotsa people were here!"
Sparky: "OR it was ONE THING with a jillion feet."
* alt.foot.fat-free: where you can collect yummy cheese!