Author:Phineas Narco

Email:pnarco@worldnetREMOVE2REPLY.att.net

Date:1998/05/25

Forums:alt.slack

Jesus Goes Temping

Reported by Phineas Narco

In the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the fastest growing economies

in the world, corporate downsizing has led to a booming market in

temporary employment.

Into this setting walks an unlikely figure of a man. Wearing a

sackcloth garment and sandles, a pager hanging off the sash around his

waist, the Son of God punches in at 9am Monday thru Friday at Guidant

Technologies in San Jose, CA where he works as a 'call coordinator' in

the tech support department. Here, he makes $11 an hour helping

people with computer problems get routed to the right technician.

"It's interesting," says Christ, "I'm kinda getting out of the 'saving

the world' gig. I want to help people on a more personal level, like

letting them know if their software will work in an NT environment, or

making sure the desperate administrator on line 2 gets a call back

that afternoon to troubleshoot his installation problem. That's the

thing that gives me personal satisfaction."

Christ believes things got 'out of hand' the last time he was here

because he chose such a high profile approach to changing things.

Co-worker Lori Miller praises Christ's job skills: "He's incredible.

He's very personable and helpful, ALWAYS on time, and has an

incredible ability to well, make complicated issues very simple. Last

month, I remember my hard drive crashed. I lost months worth of work

that I, uh, hadn't backed up. Well I was in such a state but then

Jesus came over from the lunch room and put his hands on the computer

and said "Data come forth!" and when I booted it up everything was

back like before. Oh, except that now I had Microsoft Publisher. Hey,

I'm not complaining."

Jesus is the most popular worker there. Whether he's turning the

contents of the water cooler into Snapple, showing his co-workers 'the

pencil trick', or producing doughnuts for the entire building out of a

Winchell's dozen, people just like him. People with problems will

often call in asking "can I speak to Jesus?".

"I'm not a tech support person, just a call coordinator" Jesus

explains to a distraught administrator who's server keeps crashing.

"But maybe I can help you my child".

"We've offered him higher positions, even management," says Judy

Wudrow, Jesus' supervisor, "but he wants to remain a receptionist. I

tell him he's wasting his talent and that he could be making a whole

lot more money but he just smiles at me and blesses me".

How did the Prince of Peace come to get a job as a receptionist

anyway?

"Well I first went to Manpower but they treated me rather shabbily,"

says Christ. "They wanted me to take a drug test and, hah, let's just

say I don't agree with that. I forgave them. But then I just decided

to send my resume to a number of temp agencies. I see it as casting

corn on the ground. Some of the corn will hit hard stone and nothing

will come of it. But SOME corn? hold on, I've got a call on line two"

Here, in a world where upward-mobility is the rule Christ is seen by

some as an underachiever. Others realize that he's not in it for the

money.

"Oh we went out to lunch the other day and he explained it to me,"

says Eddie DeGardo who occupies the cubicle next to Christ's. "He said

at his last job he tried to take on too much responsibility and that

he just got carried away. He tried to change the whole company and he

majorly pissed off management basically, and they nailed him.

Crucified him more like, to hear him tell it. Poor bastard."

"It's just something I want to do right now" says Christ. "Some of the

people are kind of difficult to deal with, but it's up to me to be

loving to them and understand that--oh shit, I forgot I had this guy

on hold".

"He's great," says Vicki at StarTemps who got Jesus his position at

Guidant two years ago. "I wish he'd do more, but when he's ready to

move on he'll have some good references there. They tell me that if

they have just about any type of problem there, they just turn it over

to Jesus. He's a real? miracle worker".

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