Re: a troll

Author:kevbob

Email:kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net

Date:1998/03/09

Forums:alt.slack

Felix The Cat <felixxx@goodnet.com> wrote in article

<35032507.5F39D33E@goodnet.com>... > > did i never pay you for that XD?

i thought i had finally replaced that for > > Why don't we all pitch in

for a Real Doll. He, he. >

becasue geoff has a wife? and an XD is a disc golf disc, and real dolls

don't have quite the same versitility that an XD has? it's a driver,

approach disc AND a putter,

ALL IN ONE!

Frankly,

i can't imagine whippin' a Real Doll around a church, through 5

pedestrians, through an open car, shimmy off the pavement into a trashcan,

HOLE IN ONE!

can you?

no, i didn't think so.

in fact, now that this little troll has taken off and gotten the ball

rolling ever so slightly, let me take this opportunity to

BERATE YOU

for celebrating that

FALSE ANTISLACK PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THE "CON" IN ACTION HOLIDAY

otherwise known as St. Patrick's Day.

St. Patrick's Day, you gasp? Unable to comprehend how such an innocent

holiday that merely promotes the most intensely

NECESSARY

hobby of alcohol abuse, the one TRUE hobby that allows one to GO THROUGH

ONE MORE DAY to CARRY ON and PERSEVERE through it all, the AGONY, the

HOPELESSNESS,

JUST ONE MORE DRINK

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!

can't quite wrap your EXCUSE FOR A MIND around the CONCEPT,

NOW CAN WE???????

no, i didn't THINK SO!

ok, then. this one is for YOU, for all you USELESS wannabe CLIQUE-ISH, "i

wanna be COOL, and HANG wit' "bob"" folks out there who grasp upon your

CARDS OF SALVATION with your SWEATY PALMS mumbling over and over

"oh god please let X-Day REALLY COME becasue i can't BEAR to LIVE or TRY

to LIVE any MORE all i have to LIVE for is the HOPE that on an OUTSIDE

chance SOMEONE SOMEWHERE will ALLOW me to GET back at ALL those people who

BEAT ME UP IN HIGH SCHOOL."

ya,

this one's for you.

the "con", boys and girls, is alive and well, and you are so wrapped up in

your PUNY and PATHETIC "oh my how could someone DARE to call posters to

alt.slack slackers and OH MY GOD there was a CROSSPOST from a NANA group,

WAAAA WAAA WAAAAA",

so wrapped up that you FAIL to REALIZE just how INSIDIOUS it REALLY IS!

you all think that St. Patty's day is just an EXCUSE to DRINK!

HA!

wrong again, BOY-CHICK! you may have pulled the WOOL over your OWN eyes,

BUT THE WOOL WAS PRODUCED BY CHINESE SLAVE LABOR RUN BY THE "CON".

St. Patrick's day has NOTHING to do with DRINKING.

it has as MUCH to do with DRINKING as does HAPPY HOUR.

nope, St. Patrick's day is

THE DAY OF CELEBRATION FOR THE "CON'''S MOST _*IMPRESSIVE*_ VICTORY

*****EVER********.

let's open up our history books, CHILDREN, let's PERUSE the PAST,

SHALL WE???????

The Irish people, for which St. Patty's day has been PROPPED UP as

GLORIFYING, were a bunch of SLACK-FILLED yokels, happy and JOYOUS to STAY

on their OWN island, and EAT DIRT and just LIVE, and were CONstantly

INVADED,

yet these people just KEPT ON TRUCKING!!! "oh great, invaders, pour

another glass and boil some more potatoes".

they never got TAKEN OVER, they just ABSORBED.

until,

THE CHURCH, IE THE "CON" DECIDED THAT THAT JUST WOULDN'T DO IT ANYMORE AND

HAD TO BREAK THEM ON THE RACK OF CLOSE MINDEDNESS AND SHEEP MENTALITY.

THEY HAD TO BREAK THEM, AS THEY HAD BROKEN COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLES,

COUNTLESS OTHER YETIS!!!!!!!!!!

so the NEXT time you think you'll be a HIP and COOL SUBGENIUS and dress in

ORANGE and stroll on down to a PUB and harangue the YOKELS and act all

COUNTERCULTURE

MARK THIS WELL: YOU ARE ONLY ACTING AS THE "CON"'S PAWN!

that day is a CELEBRATION of the EXISTANCE OF THE CONSPIRACY!!!!!

it is a REPRESENTATION of EVERY single TIME the CON has BROKEN a YETI and

LOBOTOMIZED a PEOPLE,

caused WAR, and STRIFE and ALCOHOL INDUCED BRAIN DAMAGE and U2!!!!!!!!!!

if it wasn;t for that CON-DUPE SNAKE CHARMER, the day would MERELY have

ANOTHER NAME, like St. Stang's DAY, or HAVE A PINT FOR LEGUME DAY!

now go back to COWERING in your

SET WAYS, YOUR RUT, YOUR SAFE LITTLE HOLE IN THE SAND WHERE YOU HEAD FITS

IN WHILE YOUR ASS WAGS IN THE WIND READY FOR YET ANOTHER "CON" DOCUMENTARY

ON THE LIFE AND TIMES OF BABE RUTH!!!!!!!

i don't even KNOW why i BOTHER to TRY to EDUCATE you PEOPLE.

VERILY,

moo, my DISTANT cattle cousins.

verily, moo.