Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Women Pay You For Intimate Bananas

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Date: Tue, 11 Nov 1997 15:42:17 GMT

Bennet McComish <bennet.mccomish.1@uni.massey.ac.nz> wrote:

: Well, given that the main motivation for Jockdom is the desire to feel

: included and popular, I reckon the assumption is largely correct,

Ding!Ding!Ding! I reckon MOTIVATION is largely the wrong word. If I

can cast my recollectors back there...yeah...I'd say that the main

motivation in playing sports was TO WIN. I don't remember seeing very

many of the desperate-to-be-loved going out for sports, it was the

beefy, can-do kids who had the natural or implanted urge to KICK BUTT

who were trying to get on teams.

It's the attributes of "winners" or (gag) "highly effective people"

that made them popular in the first place. The rest of the kids could

imitate some of it, and exploit their own strenghths to make too many

"friends," but if they lacked the sporting ethos, they'd never make it

to Jock Nirvana and would be consigned to SECOND BANANA HELL.

SECOND BANANA HELL is a very unstable perch, because some other eager

banana is always rubbing up against the first banana. Loyalty of the

primary banana cannot be more vital in these triangles. If the loyalty

force collapses, well, then the hypotenuse collapses until there is a

collision and the formation of the SECOND BANANA COLLECTIVE HELL.

Without the sole tutelage of the primary banana, the second bananas

are forever shouldering each other, trying to establish the greater

proximity to the primary's force of personality. They bicker

endlessly, testing the primary, until either a choice is forced or the

primary experiences A FIRST BANANA PERSONALITY SPLIT in order to

maintain the peace for the entire bunch.

Whatever path is chosen, all paths lead to corruption and/or brown

spots...what was I saying?...Oh, yeah....OOOK OOOK.

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* "Okay! Okay! I'll NEVAH EVAH do it AGAIN!" - The Spunky

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