Subject: FoodPorn 1
Date: 19 Apr 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: revjack@radix.net (Rev. Jack)
Organization: the Minivan Clench
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: vegetables as aphrodisiacs. April 19, 1996.
Folks, this is about vegetables as aphrodisiacs.
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Vegetables as Aphrodisiacs
Q: Which of the fruits and vegetables are best to stimulate the sexual libido of my spouse?
A: ASPARAGUS: The ancient Greeks first discovered the aphrodisiacal powers of asparagus. Asparagus is eaten usually after steaming and dipping into a sauce of melted butter or processed cheese. [Ancient Greeks invented processed cheese - RJ] Make sure you only choose the tender young shoots of asparagus since the tougher, older ones have the opposite affect to what you are trying to achieve.
BANANAS: The sexually stimulating powers of the banana are thrown away with
the peel. The white pithy substance under the skin contains the same
hallucinogen found in magic mushrooms. You can collect this by scraping it
with a spoon before disposing of the peel. To make an appetizing aphrodisiacal meal, serve baked bananas and mix the juices with the scrapings. Flavor this dish with a little orange juice or a lot of rum.
ONIONS: Most cultures have long appreciated the revitalizing powers of the
onion. Egyptians banned their celibate priests from eating onions because of
the potential outcome. The French used to take onion soup to newlyweds after
their wedding night to revive their libido.
RJ A little Old Bay wouldn't hurt, either.
_________________
revjack@radix.net
Subject: Re: FoodPorn 1
Date: 22 Apr 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Organization: Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy
Newsgroups: alt.slack
References: 1
I'm not sure if this qualifies as food porn or not, but it certainly
is Slack. Last month I wrote a restaurant review for a place in Noble,
Okla called, Kendall's. It's a nice place, good service, and it boasts
the biggest chicken fry I've ever seen. So, I do the review. This
means I get a free meal for me and my guest (usually the Bearded Guy),
and I get paid to write the article. So, today I get the mail and
there's a letter from Kendall's. It seems that they loved my review,
think my shit don't stink AND they sent me a gift certificate for 20
smokes to say thanks. Now fuck me if that isn't SLACK!
***Reverend Mutha Tarla Star***
As long as men keep thinking with their dicks,
women will keep fucking with their heads.
//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
Subject: Re: FoodPorn 1
Date: 20 Apr 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)
Organization: Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy
Newsgroups: alt.slack
References: 1
revjack@radix.net (Rev. Jack) wrote:
>04/18/96
>Fish/veg mix:
snipped...now suffer (this is the essential stuff from a recent
review):
We started our meal with a cocktail. My companion tried the Rogue
Golden Beer from Oregon, while despite the excellent wine list, I
tried the house Chardonnay. It was pleasantly dry with a light citrus
aftertaste. I also sampled the Lindeman's Bin 95 Sauvignon Blanc from
Australia, a smoothly soft wine with complex layers of flavoring.
While we were enjoying our drinks, the Sweet Potato Pot Stickers
arrived. These steamed Asian pastries were filled with a puree of
sweet potato flavored with onion and other seasonings. I was sorely
tempted by the Orange-jalapeno smoked Salmon, but I wanted to leave
room to enjoy both mine and my companion's entrees. They smoke the
salmon in-house and it's cut into thick fingers of fish.
Our salads arrived, a caesar for my date and a mixed green salad
with gorgonzola cream dressing for me. The salads were accompanied by
Tuscan bread, a spicy loaf seasoned with rosemary and black pepper. It
was like biting into a warm sausage roll. We devoured it entirely.
For our entrees we chose the Grilled Sea Bass with Banana butter
and lime for my date, and I had the Balsamic Marinated 1/2 roast
Chicken with grilled onions. Both entrees were served with a couscous
stuffed broiled tomato. The fish was moist and flaky with just a hint
of sweetness in the buttery topping, the chicken was outstanding! It
was so intensely flavored that it was almost beefy in its depth. The
dark vinegar creates a deep rich glaze that covers the chicken and
penetrates the meat throughout.
(and for dessert)
The Grilled Bananas with Orange-Mango sauce was
my companion's favorite. He pronounced it "simple, tasty, and
something you can actually eat even when you're full." I had a hard
time choosing between the Old Fashioned Bread Pudding with chocolate
chips and dried cranberries and the Kahlua-chocolate pate in raspberry
sauce. The tartness of the cranberries, balances the sweetness of the
chocolate perfectly. On the other hand, the pate melts in your mouth
so sensuously that you feel almost no guilt at the sheer numbers of
raspberries who gave their lives for that sauce.
( I get to eat like this and get paid to write about it...Jack, aren't
you GLAD you quit yer job fer "Bob?" I know *I* am!)
***Reverend Mutha Tarla Star***
As long as men keep thinking with their dicks,
women will keep fucking with their heads.
//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html