Subject: Now They Tell Me

Date: 04 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT

From: jimvan@gate.net (Jim Vandewalker)

Organization: http://extra.newsguy.com

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free

I didn't feel worth a durn when I got up this morning and got worse as the

morning went along. My head felt like it was stuffed with cottonwool, and

when I tried the six flights of stairs up to the office I had to quit at

four, puffing and dizzy.

I was a little better during the afternoon, and stopping off at the funeral

home to pick up some death certificates cheered me up some.

Then I got home and checked the mail and found out why I feel so rotten.

I'M DEAD.

It's a disappointment too. I thought there'd be more of a release from

physical suffering, but I've still got the acid reflux and sciatica and

that ache-all-over feeling.

But I got a letter from the Veteran's Administration offering their

condolences for my recent death, so I guess I MUST be dead. I mean, it's

the GOVERNMENT. They KNOW this stuff don't they?