Russian system to be adopted by world

AP Vladivostok, Russia, dateline Mar 27 1997

In the past few years the former soviet union, now known as Russia, has

made great progress in the field of labor reform. The vast majority of

factories, business, and employing institutions both private and state run,

have not been paying their employees. Some sectors of the economy have not

seen wages paid for six months, others for as long as eight months or a year.

North American and Multi National corporations are very excited by this

trend. "We really like what we are seeing in Russia. Near zero wages helps

make companies much more competetive in the world economy." an unnamed ceo

gloated. "This is the direction our shareholders want to see us go, the next

logical step being to make them pay for non-corporeal products and services."

Nobel prize winning economist Stanley E. Strangelove agreed with the

prognosis "There is currently a high demand for wageless workers. Russian

workers must adapt to their new environment. The fact is, they don't deserve

wages and never have. People should be glad they get to be inside a factory

or a mine and out of the rain and snow for part of the day, if they don't like

it we have plenty of prisons, or we can cook up ethnic massacres to entertain

them."

'Shut up and do your time' may well become the new patriotic adage for

the 21st century, and has already been adopted instead of the outmoded 'pledge

of allegience' by three elementary schools in South Carolina and Alabama.

"Wageless work is the solution to economic conditions which the world now

faces, and it's time people learned to except it." strangelove continues, "I

only wish Ronald Reagan was lucid enough to really see this happening. Praise

Jesus!"

Big Dummy reporting for AP (Ant Press) news