Column 85 for June 3, 2001

I can’t wait to get my tax-cut check! I think it would be very patriotic to spend it immediately to help get the economy rolling again. I saw some interviews in the Journal last weekend about how other folks plan to spend theirs, and that’s what triggered this excitement.

Maybe you can help me. Let’s see… The way I understand it, a single taxpayer (me) can receive "up to" $300. The "up to" part is a little scary right off. Somehow it reminds me of looking for a cheap motel. You’ve seen the billboards: "Rates starting at $29.95," but when you pull in you find that the advertised rate was for people with green cars checking in on alternate Tuesday nights. "Besides" the clerk replies, "All those rooms are already taken." I begin to worry when I look out the smoke stained broken window and see only two cars in the parking lot.

Anyway, back to the tax cut and reality. The way I understand it, the government wants to reduce the tax on our first $6000 of income to a rate of 10%. Sounds fair to me, as this would benefit every earner equally. I like that. You can probably hear me digging out my recent check-stub from the desk drawer…

On my check (who really understands the withholding tables…?) it appears that $144.82 is withheld for every $1000 I make. I’m supposed to be a mathematics teacher, but if I screw this up, please let me know. I’ve never taught "fuzzy" math. (yet) Okay, now if the rate is reduced to 10%, that would be just $100 for every $1000 I make. If I’m doing this right, it means I should get a check for $44.82 for each of my first $6000. Let’s multiply: $44.82 times 6 equals $268.92! Voila!

This tax cut is for the whole year, right? I’ve got to keep using my calculator. How much per day will this check affect me? $268.92 divided by 365 days equals 73.7 cents per day. I’ve got to repeat that – 73.7 cents per day! Wow! I’m standing in tall cotton!

Just how much IS a cup of coffee in Washington? Thanks anyway, guys.

The good news doesn’t end here either. We can remind ourselves how lucky we are to be living in "don’t drink the water" Carrollton when we read the news from Copperhill, Tennessee. It seems that last week the mayor fired the entire police force. There seemed to be some conflict over who actually ran the city. After the locks were changed at the police department, the Aldermen mopped up and discovered not only missing checks, but they found a police car they didn't even know the city owned!

Have a peaceful week. tomiswho@mindspring.com