The Dread Pirate Seamus
by Lady Ysabeau de TaurionProvost of Defense, East Kingdom
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For reference:
Malagentia is southern Maine, and the Northguard is a mercenary company that exists largely in Maine but has some members scattered over the rest of the East - and a few other places too... |
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'Twas the hot and dusty weekend Of the 7th Great Northeastern War When pirates stood to battle On Malagentia's fair shores Two ships there were and proudly flew The banners from their prows To gain the other's treasure Was their most solemn vow The ships sailed on through the high seas And slowly wheeled about 'Til broadside to each other Then the grappling hooks were out Curses vile were hurled forth As the pirates drew their blades Sunlight flashed from sharpened steel As they readied the gangplanks The galleons closed for battle And the gangplanks were thrown down Bellowing their defiance The scoundrels sallied out Blade clashed on blade and blood ran free And one man lead the fray A landless rogue, a pirate born And Seamus was his name Neither tall nor short was Seamus Yet he had a commanding air And certainly his men did follow The beacon of his fiery red hair That battle raged back and forth For long hours through the day But Brita and _her_ crew were winning Much to Seamus' dismay But then, Seamus saw the tide had turned And he rallied forth his side He led his men in a valiant rush While poor Brita stood and tried To guard the bags of loot that were Stacked between her feet Because Heaven knows on Northguard pay You can't afford to eat Fair Brita fell dead where she stood Defending her pile of gold Seamus' men ransacked her ship And searched the cabins below They brought forth all the loot they found And dumped it in a pile They cheerfully worked on through the night Singing all the while; "We're thieves and killers and cut-throats Our hearts are black and vile We like to kill and loot and burn Screams only make us smile...." Seamus grinned cheerfully as he watched his crew Dump the bodies from the ships With fewer men, there'd be more gold For the rest of them to split And so Seamus was victorious His men had carried the day He himself had come out unscathed From the bloody, mindless fray And we in Malagentia Live in fear and dread That he had so much fun, he'll come back next year To loot and kill again. |
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