Promises, promises.....

James Randi --- Wizard ((no email))
31 Jul 93 19:06:30 EDT

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller was asked by NASA to use his psychic powers to
open a jammed antenna on the Galileo spacecraft.
FACT: When contacted, NASA replied that they'd never heard of Mr.
Geller, had not asked him anything, and that the antenna was already
working.

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller originated the clever scheme of printing a
"charmed" colored dot on a newspaper page so that the Faithful could touch
it and be blessed with good luck, riches, healing or whatever.
FACT: Two elderly California ladies who also profess psychic powers
came up with the idea years before Mr. Geller did, and used it in the
National Enquirer, that paragon of journalistic virtue and accuracy.
(Admittedly, their dot was blue, while Mr. Geller's is orange. That may
make all the difference.....)

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller has participated in an alchemical experiment in
which base metal was turned into gold.
FACT: The base metal stayed base. Besides, if the miracle had worked,
would not Mr. Geller now be busily turning out gold bricks in great
number?

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller has found the Holy Lost Ark of the Covenant.
FACT: A confusion probably arising from the fact that Steven Spielberg
is often mistaken for a documentary film maker. Also, Harrison Ford is
not REALLY an archaeologist; he's just an actor who puts on makeup and
plays the part.

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller was asked to beam good thoughts at Gorbachov
during a Soviet/West conference.
FACT: I wouldn't be at all surprised that he was asked, knowing how
bright some folks are. However, the USSR just folded up due to other
causes, an event not foreseen by Mr. Geller or by any other "psychic."

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller was paid one million pounds sterling "up front,"
non-refundable, by eleven mining companies, to find gold and oil for them
by psychic means.
FACT: Not so. Only one company paid anything, and that was far from a
million pounds. Nothing was found but sand. The company is not happy
with that result.

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller invented two devices, one to detect counterfeit
money and another to detect if a diamond is real or not.
FACT: Not so. The counterfeit detector has been around a long time and
does not work, the diamond idea uses a principle known long before Mr.
Geller was born.

CLAIM: That Mr. Geller stopped Big Ben (actually, Tower Clock) by his
mental powers.
FACTS: (a) That clock stops about twice a year, anyway.
(b) Mr. Geller only announced the miracle AFTER it stopped.
(c) Mr. Geller had been promising to do this wonder for some
twenty years.

CLAIM: Mr. Geller promised that he would bring back from the moon, by
his powers, a camera left there by astronauts.
FACT: The camera is still there, more than 20 years after the promise.

CLAIM: Mr. Geller has said that he will find Lassiter's Reef, a lost gold
lode in Australia.
FACT: Lassiter's Reef is still lost.

CLAIM: Mr. Geller has said that his psychic powers enable him to know
that he will win his present lawsuit against James Randi.
FACT: I'm waiting......

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These are eleven claims made by Mr. Uri Geller. When, oh when, are we
going to see these wonders? Surely just ONE of them will come to pass?

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