Creative Football Cookie Round Up!
A quick fix for those unexpected guests!
You have some choices in your journey through Creative Football Cookie. Please feel free to make them.
For the story lover, we have compiled an impressive selection of short stories, perhaps fables, which all have moral and intellectual merit. Read them and cherish your health; learn from the mistakes committed by their protagonists.
For those interested in self-help, we have a collection of essays concerning various facets of modern living. If you wish to aid in the betterment of our society, read these and memorize them. Make it your goal to see one of these cardinal rules of living realized every day, even if it means killing and maiming to reach your goal. After all, if one life is sacrificed to make the world a more aesthetically pleasing place, then wasn't that death worth it? YES.
Yes! It's the new, improved version of Creative Football Cookie, that journal of grim jocularity written by people, much like yourselves, who loathe the majority of the human race.
CFC aims to destroy the smug attitudes of all people, be they yuppies or rednecks, and point out their flaws, inadequacies, bumblings, and character traits which are just plain BAD.
It's been quite some time since we updated Creative Football Cookie. "Why, Why?" we have heard our fans cry out in unison across the globe. Well, it's very simple - we're lazy as hell. So, after six or seven years, we're finally getting around to updating this mofo because, let's face it - there's a hell of a lot more out there to hate these days than there was in 1997. For example:
It's clear - society is collapsing around us. Idiots run our country, idiots elect the idiots who run our country, and there is apparently no hope for change because Americans are too busy sitting their fat asses in front of the television and gorging themselves on Hot Pockets to think about anything at all. Fighting the idiocy is our only hope. Every one of them must die.
Creative Football Cookie Lite!
Modern Brain Food for Swingin' Swappers!
Every day brings some new form of terror for which we must strengthen ourselves, breathe deeply and move on, trying not to focus too hard on the atrocity we've just witnessed. All we ask is that the human race follow certain rules that will enable those of us who are not content to trundle around in flip-flops and spandex to go out in the open without feeling trapped in the Vortex of Doom.
We call to all others with senses of decency to lash out against the insipidity which is rampant in our world today. If you see someone who is offensive in any way, don't be afraid to let your feelings be known through either a tactful, "Excuse me, sir, but you're repulsing me; could you please go stand over there?" or the more popular, "Fuck off, scumbag!"
You may be one of us if you:
Creative Football Cookie
Last updated October 11, 2004
All written material is ©copyright Benjamin Harper and/or Emily Porter unless otherwise stated. Stealing it for your own gain will not only prove that you have no talent of your own, it will also cause you to die a horrible death. So try it if you dare.
What we love: