I first saw World Showcase Players' "Cyranose de Bergerac" in March 2001. Although *very* funny, it made no sense so after returning home I watched the movie. I watched the other movie. I read the book (ok, not really) and WSP's version *still* made no sense. In May I returned to Epcot to see the play again, and again. It still makes no sense and is still *very* funny. C'est la vie...I won't give away the jokes, they're bad enough once. ;)
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And now, put on your worst phony French accent (the cast does) because here is:
Cyranose de Bergerac
by World Showcase Players
France 1640 (ok, Epcot 2001), Paris is in turmoil, the people are miserable (an idea for a musical). But they do have ballet, taught by the best teacher in France, the charming and talented Nanette 
(who I thought was British but obviously is French). Since this is a love story, we must have a heroine, and we do, Nanette's star pupil, the most beautiful girl in Paree. She is a jewel, she is a gem, she is a cubic zirconia, she is... Roxanne 
( say ooh-la-la).
Now we must have a villain. Christian 
is strong, he is good looking (well...), he is manly! But he wants to be a dancer. As Chris (for short) puts on his tutu 
and becomes FooFoo Man (say booo), his evil plan is to use Roxanne (ooh-la-la) to promote his dancing career. How evil (booo)!
Now we need a hero (don't forget to accent the 'o'). He is brave, he is dashing...he is not here. But there is someone almost like that (he has a pulse), he is...Cyranose de Bergerac 
(say yay)! Cyranose (yay) has a large protruberance (with sunglasses attached) in the middle of his...face. With such a schnozz Cyranose (yay) realizes he can never win the heart of Roxanne (ooh-la-la) but he has the soul of a poet and writes really rotten poetry with which Chris (booo) woos Roxanne (ooh-la-la).
"I love you like a red red...ROSE, from your head down to your ...TOES, I love you every night and...DAY, you make me feel so happpy and ...GAY". Whatever. Roxanne (ooh-la-la) apparently doesn't know squat from poetry and is impressed, enough to break into song and lead the cast in a heartfelt rendition of "Feelings".
Meanwhile Cyranose (yay) confesses to Roxanne (ooh-la-la) that it is he with the big nose who wrote the poems. Chris (booo) 
grows jealous of Cyranose (yay) and arrives with an even larger nose of his own
, challenging Cyranose (yay) to an air-sword duel. Now, depending on how much beer the audience (and the cast?) has had, the also evil but rather limited Count de Quiche may show up to duel Cyranose (yay) in Chris (booo) place, lose the duel and die slowly, *really* slowly. Cyranose (yay) takes advantage of the laughter to unmask Chris (booo) who runs away, expose'd. Ya' got all this so far? I sure don't! No matter, the play goes on.
Nanette comes forward to protest but is hushed by Roxanne (ooh-la-la) with a stern "No, no, Nanette"(another idea for a musical).
Cyranose (yay) and Roxanne (ooh-la-la) are wed
, Chris (booo) goes on to become a Britney Spears dancer, Count de Quiche is still (somewhat) dead, the audience applauds because the play is over and they can go get more beer. They need it by now!
The stellar cast: Melanie (Nanette), Bill (Chris), and Glenn (narrator and Sergeant-at-arms), with guest appearances from SuzieZ (Roxanne) and ? as Cyranose (yay).
Bravo, World Showcase Players, bravo!!! A wonderful performance!
Do not miss seeing this stirring story, nor WSP's other presentation, "King Arthur and the Holy Grail".
19 May 2001