DOCUMENT: Classified Dossier
SUBJECT: Marti Lee M.
CLASSIFICATION: Need-to-know ONLY.
REVISED:3/4/98
BRIEF: The agent for powers unknown, "Marti Lee M.", is currently designated a random subversive factor by INTERPOL officials, and is wanted for questioning in relation to several incidents, including the abduction of 3000 experimental rodents, and the dosing of the lab staff with huge amounts of caffeine, nicoteine, and artificial sweetners (see report 37G, "Attack on Pearl Hamster"), Reputed involvement in "white slavery" (though in what capacity, it remains difficult to say), several exploding toilets which were delivered to neo-nazi headquarters world-wide, and installed by seemingly innocent contractors under legitimate work-orders (see report 816B, "I vas just filling der orders!"), and 27 unpaid speeding tickets.
Subject is difficult to trace, much less apprehend. Several ambushes proceeded as planned, only to have events reverse themselves at the last moment, allowing subject to make good her escape. Subject is linked to several radical elements in the Israeli Girls Scouts and Mossad's PETA club. Subject's greatest asset seems to be the abilty to totally confound attackers with a wink or other flirtation, leaving them open for defection or attack, attack often being carried out by subject's attack Schnauzer, known to INTERPOL as "Sgt. Pepper". Evidence also exists indicating that some of the experimental rodents have been retrained by subject to penetrate building defenses and chew vital data and power lines, eliminating security systems.
ANY contacts with subject should e reported to nearest command-level office; do NOT attempt to apprehend subject alone. Verbatim transcription of Executive Order #45678 follows:
"You bastards stay away... if ANYONE wrestles her to the ground, it's gonna be ME!"
BRIEF ENDS.
