Kind of a Chicago for children, GOLDIE! (Or; A Juvenile Delinquent in Toyland?) is a musical vaudeville for children. It celebrates flag-waving patriotism, corporal punishment and the judicial system within the world of Mother Goose and everyone's favorite Fairy Tale and Nursey Rhyme characters. Who needs the Simpson case or the Oklahoma City bombing to bring about edge-of-your-seat excitement when the classics of our childhood did it first and did it better!
Goldie! tells the story of Goldie Locks (née Shoemaker) who finds herself in the dreaded Toyland Penitentiary charged with Breaking and Entering, Bed-Sleeping and Petty Porridge Theft. She claims to be misunderstood, a victim of the Queen of Heart's merciless justice system. With the help of her attorney (Snow White), Goldie must convince the Queen and the Three Bears that she is not a menace to society. Along the way Goldie learns a few lessons in responsibility and the Queen learns to be more even-handed when bestowing parental disipline. Oh yes, and Snow White breaks free of her ingenue image.
Most important of all, the story allows nine of the most beloved characters in children's literature to sing and dance their way through 15 of the most beloved vaudeville, operetta and musical comedy numbers of a century ago (all with new lyrics hysterically appropriate to the tale.)
This page, like so many others is, yes, currently under construction, so please bear with me.
Soon to appear on this page - (hopefully) more production photos and downloadable WAV files of musical highlights.
THE CAST
GOLDIELOCKS - (strong belt alto/mezzo) - Brooklyn-esque street urchin. Should be played about twelve. Imagine Bugs Bunny in a dress, but her tough-kid exterior is just that - exterior. This kid is scared to death.
SNOW WHITE - (lyric soprano) - Now a lawyer. Desperately trying to break her ingenue image in a man's story-book world.
THE QUEEN OF HEARTS - (mezzo/dramatic/tramatic soprano) - Also the Queen of "Sing a song of Sixpence" fame. A Victorian tyrant of the highest degree. A diva with a BIG chip on her shoulder.
JACK (The Knave of Hearts) - (baritone) - Radical revolutionary & song-and-dance man. Friend to Goldie and arch-enemy of the Queen. Unconventional leading-man/dancer type.
TOM-TOM - (tenor) - The Piper's Son. Young, poor and terribly naive. The quintessential juvenile. Preferably a tenor.
SIMPLE SIMON - Mime role who supervises the entire production.
&
THE THREE BEARS - (Papa/baritone; Mama/soprano; Baby Bear/tenor) - Vaudevillian family song-and-dance act. A cross between the Cohan and Barrymore families. They must be seen to be believed.
MUSICAL NUMBERS
Featuring the music of:
HUGHIE CANON
GEORGE M. COHAN
HARRY DACRE
GEORGE EVANS
CHARLES K. HARRIS
JOS. E. HOWARD
KERRY MILLS
HENRY J. SAYERS
SIR ARTHUR SULLIVAN
CHARLES E. TREVATHAN
&
VICTOR HERBERT
OPENING: "TOYLAND"(Instrumental) ......................... Tom-Tom (on harmonica) "WE'LL GET A LAWYER FOR YA" .............................. Goldie, Jack & Tom-Tom "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" .............................................. Jack, Goldie & Tom-Tom MARCH OF THE TOYS ............................................................................. Orchestra "I'M NOW A LAWYER ........................................................................... Snow White "BEAR-LY ON STAGE AGAIN" .................................................. The Three Bears "AND THEN THE BEARS CAME HOME" ................ Goldie & The Three Bears "PLEASE GET ME OFF, SNOW WHITE" .................................................... Goldie "I'M ROTTING HERE IN PRISON" ............................. Tom-Tom, Jack & Goldie "YOU'RE NOT GONNA BITE IT" ..Snow, TomTom, Jack, Goldie & Three Bears "HOW COULD YOU HATE?" .................................. Queen (with the Three Bears) "PAPERS' CAPERS" ................................................ The Three Bears (with Queen) "BIG TIME AT LAST!" ................................................. Goldie & The Three Bears "A PARADISE CAN BE OUR OWN" ............................................... Queen & Jack FINALE: "TOYLAND" ...................................................... Snow White & Company
