THE DUNG BEETLE
Some of my
colleagues at the BRC have been asking questions about what our jobs have
become. They have asked what the company is trying to do to our jobs. They want
to know what the real function of the BRC really is. They would like to know
what the future holds for Business Response Specialists and Business Response
Generalists who work in the "Electronic Sweat Shop of the 90's"
(BRC).
The answer to those questions and more will be found in the
description of the "Dung Beetle". To find out if we are the "Dung Beetles" of
Verizon (AKA General Telephone) we must first take a look at the "Dung Beetle"
and how it relates to what we do in the BRC.
The 'dung beetle' is a
valuable member of our ecological system. In order to understand the role of
the Business Response Specialist and Business Response Generalist we must
understand the 'Dung Beetle'. I went to the WWW to do some research on Mr.
'Dung Beetle' and found out there are literally thousands of different types of
'dung beetles'.
In one article on the web from the African Wildlife
Update it described a 3.3 lbs. pile of elephant dung that attracted over
16,000 of the beetles. These beetles were able to dispose of this dung pile in
about 2 hours. How many times have we described the trouble in the queues as a
pile of s…? Haven't you heard trouble reports described by colleagues as
pieces of s…?
[In terms that the BRC
management can understand it would mean that if the 'dung' were changed into
911 reports, non IXC DDS, or all IXC services other than HICAPS the 'Dung
Beetles' made their commitment time]
I discovered there were
three different types of these beetles. Each of them is unique to 'dungdom'! It
appears they have their own food chain with the dweller 'dung beetle' at
the bottom of the food chain and the roller 'dung beetle' at the top. In
between the dweller and the roller is the tunneler 'dung
beetle'. The dwellers do not relocate their food and live freely in the
droppings. The tunnelers dig down and build nests below the source of
food and the rollers make balls of dung, roll them away and bury them.
[To juxtapose the above to the BRC inhabitants
there is the POTS type 'dung' that stays (usually) within the BRC for repair or
correction. The 'data dung' is similar to the 'dung' handled by the
tunneler 'dung beetle' and the hierarchy of the BRC 'dung beetle' is the
VIP 'dung beetle'! The VIP 'dungsters' roll that 'dung' out of here and bury it
somewhere where the rest of us cannot find it.]
'Dung Beetle'
behavior and ecology: Some weird behaviors take place among 'dung beetles'.
Some wait in one place for the odor of dung to get to them and will then go to
it. Other 'dung beetles' will fly around while foraging and they will devour
much more dung than the perching 'dung beetles'. 'Dung beetles' play an
important role in African savannas. Scientists have estimated that beetles bury
one metric ton of 'dung' per hectare per year in West African savannas. Primary
production is significantly higher in savannas with large herbivores and
associated 'dung beetles' than in savannas without mammals.
[In the BRC the 'beetles at the top of the 'dung pile' will
bring the 'dung' to the perching 'dung beetles' and ask them if they would like
to devour a bit of 'dung' they might have in their hands. The rest of the 'dung
beetles' listen to messengers telling of new places where 'dung' might be. One
can easily see the relationship of the Huntington Beach BRC 'dung beetles' and
the amount of 'dung consumed' relative to other BRC 'dung beetles' in smaller
savannas (Fort Wayne, Tampa or the Northwest
BRC's)]
Reproduction: Rollers establish a pair bond.
The two sexes usually meet at the dung pat or in its close vicinity. Brood ball
formation is initiated by one individual—the "active partner." In some
species, the male offers a food ball ("nuptial ball") to the female. The brood
ball is often rolled together by the two partners, but in some cases the female
climbs onto the ball and is rolled off with it by the male. During the rolling
process, other beetles often attempt to steal the ball.
[We can see this type of development in the BRC. It does not
develop in the same way with respect to the sexual implications but it does
develop with the dung itself. Sometimes this dung is handled in the form of a
'dung assist' with an IRC 'dungperson' or a CO 'dungperson'. The BRC 'dung
beetles' are constantly handing off dung to one another. How many times does
one hear a fellow 'dung beetle' cry out, "I am leaving at 4:30 will someone
take my dung? If nobody will accept some partially rolled dung it will be
forced onto an unsuspecting or innocent bystander 'dung beetle' by one of the
major players or 'dung' managers of the BRC.]
Dung Distinctions: Seventy-two percent of
'dung beetles' prefer large herbivore and omnivore dung. The size and quality
of the 'dung pat' is of significance to 'dung beetles'. The size is especially
important for nesting. [In the BRC the distinctions between 'dung
beetles' can usually be found at the upper end of the 'dung beetle' chain
(management of the 'dung'). The distribution of the 'dung' weighs heavily (pun
intended) on the already overworked minds of the 'dung distribution
team'.]
Competition: Rollers are often so abundant
that all the available resource is removed rapidly, on a first-arrived,
first-served basis.
[The competition for the
'dung' is non-existent just as it is non-existent with the rollers. The
'dung' is rolled out of the BRC almost as quick as it arrives. 'Dung' is not
allowed to hang around for long in the BRC. All, or at least most, of the
'dung' is shipped off to other, less voracious, 'dung beetles'. In many
instances these lesser functioning 'dung beetles' refuse the offerings of BRC
'dung beetles' and send it back. When that happens, the 'lead' dungers from
each savanna try to work out a 'dungdeal'. Half the time the BRC 'dung beetles'
don't know where their next load of 'dung' is coming from. When that happens
the blame is laid off on the 'dung' distributor
(ACD).]
Threats to Survival: Extensive destruction of forest
for timber, especially in the smaller, western African range, threatens the
tropical forest fauna, including 'dung beetles'. Many of the largest 'dung
beetles' are dependent on elephant 'dung', a declining resource in many areas.
Approximately one hundred species use elephant 'dung' primarily or exclusively
to provision their nests.
[The BRC needs this
'dung' for survival. If the 'dung' stops we are out of business. Does the
political statement (paraphrased here) "The 'dung' stops here!" have any
relevance? Can't we just say this to that, "Dang, don't stop the
'dung'.]
I think this means our world is becoming one big 'dung heap'!
Do you have any
thoughts on the dung beetle? Do you think I am overreacting? Do you take
exception with being compared to a 'dung beetle'? Have you lost your sense of
humor? Have you lost your mind? Are we all losing it? Have you 'dung' your job
today?
Please let me know by email or using the forum section.
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