Steele, Inc.-Atlanta Division
Steele in the Top 10
 
 

Holiday Edition

 
 
 

Top 10 Most Unlikely Places
for a Romantic Interlude on Valentine's Day 
 
10. in a monastery cellar
9. in the medical lab at a sleep clinic 
8. in the alley behind the Los Angeles County Jail 
7. in the trunk of a car as it goes through an automated car wash 
6. behind a Catelli statue in an art museum 
5. on the edge of an acid vat 
4. the cadavar room at a teaching hospital 
3. on a small cot in a homeless shelter 
2. beneath the body of a disassembled 1936 super-charged Auburn speedster 
1. in a trash heap amidst a pile of overturned garbage cans 
  

Top 10 Signs Your Partner is Irish
and Will Celebrate St. Patrick's Day
 
10. He knows Sean O'Casey's Shadow of a Gunman forwards, backwards, and upside down. 
9. He knows how to hook up and drive an Irish trap. 
8. His nickname was "The Kilkenny Kid". 
7. He sings McNamara's Band as a lullabye. 
6. His lilting brogue is music to your ears. 
5. You can't tell his truths from his blarney. 
4. He can charm the birds right out of the sky. 
3. He's a wonderful storyteller. 
2. He traveled to Ireland in search of his past. 
1. His eyes are as blue as the lakes of Killarney. 
  

Top 10 Places Not to Hide Easter Eggs
 
10. under the bed with the lint 
9. in a priority mail cart under a dead body 
8. in the middle of the dance floor at San Francisco's Top of the Mark restaurant 
7. in an urn in a Mexican mortuary 
6. in an acid vat at a deserted factory 
5. in a grain silo on a pig farm 
4. in a steamer trunk on a boat dock 
3. in a wine vat near a monastery 
2. in a coffin about to be cremated 
1. in a water tank filled with poisonous sea snakes with lots of teeth 
  

Top 10 Ways
to Create 4th of July Fireworks
 
10. Refer to your partner as "the little woman"
9. Shave your legs with your partner's razor, thereby nicking the blade 
8. Selfishly rush in to save your partner's life when they are in deadly danger 
7. Leave all of the paperwork for your partner to complete by themselves 
6. Have your partner arrested and thrown in jail to help you win a bet 
5. Insult your partner's freshly brewed coffee 
4. Demand that your partner plump your pillow, refill your glass, exchange your lemon for a lime, and be totally at your beck and call 
3. Plan and carry out an elaborate con behind your partner's back 
2. Volunteer your partner to join you in babysitting overnight for her nieces and nephew 
1. Start the wedding before your partner arrives at the chapel 
  

Top 10 Costume Choices
for the Remington Steele Investigations Halloween Party
 
10. Le Renard and Nancy Drew (childhood heroes)
9. Remington as Dr. Watson and Laura as Sherlock Holmes 
8. Sean/John Wayne and Mary Kate/Maureen O'Hara from The Quiet Man 
7. Remington as Grey Owl, an Englishman who pretended to be something he wasn't and Laura as Pony, the lady who won his heart 
6. Dashing Dave and Dollface from The Blaster comic strip 
5. Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, with Murphy as Ashley Wilkes and Bernice as Sue Ellen O'Hara 
4. Bogie and Becall 
3. Nick and Nora Charles from The Thin Man movies, with Doolittle as Asta 
2. Richard Blaine and Ilsa Lund from Casablanca 
1. Remington as George E. Mulch, Laura as Mildred Krebs, George E. Mulch as Remington Steele, and Mildred Krebs as Laura Holt 
  

Top 10 Things
for Which Laura and Remington Give Thanks
 
10. Not being stuck with a herd of high-tec pigs 
9. Knowing that the next time you break your leg, you won't have to buy crutches 
8. Neighbors who keep to themselves and don't complain about the strange happens at all hours of the day and night 
7. Good medical coverage 
6. A hard skull that recovers quickly from repeated head clonking 
5. A successful, rewarding job on the right side of the law 
4. Knowing that your partner's family is now your family as well 
3. A surrogate mother who provides both praise and constructive criticism 
2. Knowing that you've made peace with your past 
1. Knowing that, thanks to a push from Immigration, you'll be spending the rest of your life with the love of your life 
  

Top 10 Things
Not to Give Your Partner for Christmas
  
10. a free week at The Golden Dugout
 
9. a money clip--cash is too bulky 
8. a gift certificate to The Gap 
7. a case of Martin Rome's caviar 
6. a pleated muffler 
5. a Scotch plaid tuxedo 
4. a certificate for a year's worth of computer classes 
3. Butch Beemis' latest book, Bury Me Beneath the Mistletoe 
2. shares in *any* of George E. Mulch's inventions or business endeavors 
1. a cruise aboard a Mexican fishing trawler 

Steele, Inc.-Atlanta Div.

Back to Top 10 Index

dtalley@mindspring.com
 
Disclaimer: The characters of Remington Steele are used without permission.
All original writings copyrighted 1982-2005 by Debra Talley for entertainment purposes only.