Mildred Krebs, ever the
efficient secretary, was staying late at the agency while the
information she had requested on her trusty computer finally
came through. As soon as the printer cut off, Mildred tore off
the sheet of paper and gave the new information a quick glance.
She smiled as she added it to the folder she held in her hand
and hugged it to her. Mildred Krebs loved to dig!
Thinking it might be just the
break they needed in their current case, she figured Mr. Steele
and Miss Holt would want to see the information right away. She
quickly shut down the computer equipment, turned out the lights
and locked the office door.
As she hurried down the hall
and waited for an elevator, Mildred remembered overhearing Mr.
Steele and Miss Holt making plans for dinner at his apartment
for later that evening. Glancing at the folder in her hand, she
was torn between giving them their privacy or giving them the
new information her computer had just rendered.
"Well, they won't mind if I
just drop this by. They might want to go over it after dinner.
And if they don't want to bother with it, they don't have to!"
The elevator announced its
presence with a ding and Mildred hustled on board.In no time at
all she was busily unlocking her car door. She was so excited
about her new "hot off the press" information didn't even
notice the man who came up behind her and hit her on the head.
She crumpled to the ground,
still clutching the folder. But before the stranger could pry
it from her fingers, several bystanders rushed up to check out
the commotion. Mildred regained consciousness to find three
strange faces staring at her with concern.
One of the faces asked if she
was all right.
"I think so," Mildred replied,
"but my head hurts like hell. What happened?"
No one had actually seen what
had happened, but the ice cream vendor thought someone was
trying to snitch the folder of papers she had clutched in her
After assuring everyone she
didn't need to see a doctor, she thanked them for their concern
and headed toward Mr. Steele's apartment. If it was those
papers that had earned her that clonk on the head, the sooner
she got rid of them, the better. Besides, she had a pounding
headache and the aspirin at Mr. Steele's apartment were closer
than the aspirin at her place.
As she made her way to
Rossmore Ave., Mildred suddenly found herself giggling like a
schoolgirl. She couldn't stop thinking of Mr. Steele and how
closely they had worked together earlier that day while she
preformed her magic on the computer. He had been standing so
closely behind her that she could smell the scent of his soap
and feel his breath on her neck.
Mildred felt herself blushing
and giggled once more. She was starting to think of her boss in
a whole new light.
Remington was busily putting
the finishing touches on his beautifully set dining table. He
lit the candles and straightened a few pieces of silver and
crystal. Glancing around the room one last time, he realized
everything was perfect for a romantic dinner. The fresh flowers
added the perfect touch to the elegant table, just as the soft
music and glowing fire added the perfect touch to the room.
Glancing at his watch, he
noticed it was one minute before eight. Laura would be arriving
any moment; she was always punctual. He slipped into his tuxedo
jacket, which had been neatly hanging on a chair. He and Laura
had mutually agreed to make this a formal romantic dinner by
wearing their finest attire. Laura had teasingly promised she
would wear her provocative gown from the Presidential primary.
Remington had yet to see her in it and found himself smiling in
He figured he had time to slip
into the kitchen and check on the canard a vin rouge. Just
then, however, the doorbell buzzed.
"Laura," he said
affectionately as he opened the door, fully expecting to find
her standing there.
But it wasn't Laura who was
"Mildred?" he asked in
confusion. Puzzled, he looked around Mildred and scanned the
corridor. "I, ah, thought you were Miss Holt. What are you
doing here? "
Mildred held out the folder.
"That information you and Miss Holt requested finally came
through. I thought you'd want to see it right away."
She walked in. "So, Miss
Holt's not here yet?"
"Um, not yet," Remington
replied as he shut the door.
"Good," Mildred said as she
grabbed his arm and led him to the couch.
"Mildred, what are you
doing!?" he asked in a surprised voice.
She launched herself at him,
pushing him backwards onto the couch and pinning him against
the cushions. The folder flew out of his hands, scattering
papers all over the room.
"Mildred, please! You're
crushing my jacket, not to mention my ribs," Remington
"Oh, Mr. Steele! I've waited
so-o-o long for this!" Mildred declared as she tore off his
tie, ripped open his dress shirt and smothered him with huge,
"Mildred, please!" he
protested more forcefully.
Just then the doorbell buzzed
"Saved by the bell," he said
cheerily. He tried to get up, but Mildred wouldn't release her
hold on him.
The bell insistently buzzed
again, followed by a knock and Laura's voice.
"Mr. Steele? Are you
"I've got to answer the door,
Mildred. It's Miss Holt," Remington insisted.
"Let it ring," Mildred said
with a wave of her hand. "She'll go away eventually."
"Mildred!" Remington protested
in a shocked tone as she continued her amorous assault on
Meanwhile out in the hallway,
Laura was puzzled as to why her knocks and calls were going
unanswered. For a moment she was afraid something must have
happened to him, but she quickly decided he was probably still
in the shower. It wouldn't be the first time Mr. Steele hadn't
been ready on time.
She fished in her evening bag
for the set of keys to his apartment. Unlocking the door and
stepping inside, she was totally unprepared for the sight that
greeted her. There, just a few feet in front of her, were
Mildred and Mr. Steele writhing on the couch, groans and gasps
emitting from them both.
Mildred's voice was plainly
heard above the ruckus. "Oh, Mr. Steele! Let's go into the
After a beat to catch her
breath, Laura managed to gasp, "Mildred! Mr. Steele! What is
going on here?"
They both looked up to see
Laura standing in the entryway.
"Ah, Laura! Just in time!"
Remington exclaimed as he hastily extricated himself from
beneath Mildred. He quickly stood up and clumsily started
buttoning his shirt.
"Obviously," Laura said.
"Please.; don't let me interrupt. You two just go right ahead
and finish whatever it is you were doing. I'll just make myself
Laura calmly sat down in the
chair across from the couch.
Remington just stared dumbly
at her, then at Mildred, and then again at Laura.
"Just pretend I'm not even
here," Laura said with a smile as she put her arms on the arms
of the chair and began tapping her fingers.
"Laura, please believe me.
It's not what you think!" Remington sputtered
"Well, just what *is* it
then?" Laura asked.
"It's Mildred," Remington
gasped. "She's gone berserk! She threw herself at me like some
cheap floozy! No offense, Mildred."
"What do you have to say about
this, Mildred?" Laura inquired.
"It's true, Miss Holt,"
Mildred confessed as she straightened her dress and squared her
shoulders. "I can't deny my feelings any longer. I've been mad
with desire for the boss for months now! For years! I think it
started during the Pygmalion twin case, when he answered the
door in that towel. You can't imagine the sleepless nights I've
spent since then, lusting for him, yearning for him..."
"Mildred, please!" Remington
exclaimed in shock. "You don't know what you're saying!"
"Oh, I know exactly what I'm
saying, Mr. Steele," Mildred said seductively as she stood up
and put her hands on Remington's chest.
Remington pushed her hands
aside and started backing away. Mildred continued to move
closer even when Remington continued to back away.
"I watch you at the office
when you think I'm working," she went on. "I have dreams about
us--passionate dreams that would put the Dark Prince to shame.
I simply can't live without you any longer. I know business and
pleasure don't usually mix, but rules were made to be broken."
She made a desperate lunge and
grabbed Remington in a tight embrace, once again smothering him
with kisses. He struggled and finally managed to push her away,
holding her at arm's length.
"Mildred, please! That's
enough! Get a grip on yourself!" Remington demanded shakily,
pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping lipstick
from his face.
He looked at Laura, who was
still sitting in her chair, completely unruffled. "Laura,
please! Say something, for Heaven's sake!" he pleaded.
Laura slowly stood up, took
Remington's handkerchief and wiped off a smudge of lipstick he
had missed earlier.
"Icy calm, Mr. Steele. Icy
calm," she reminded him with a smile and a twinkle.
"How can you stand there with
a bloody smile on your face?! I mean, we have a definite
problem here!" he said as he retrieved his handkerchief, wiped
his forehead and then returned the handkerchief to his
"Patience, Mr. Steele. I have
an idea," Laura explained as she patted his arm reassuringly.
"Mildred, can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?"
"Sure, Miss Holt. But I warn
you--I know what I want and I won't give up without a
"The kitchen, Mildred?" Laura
repeated with authority.
Remembering that Laura was in
charge, even though Remington was the boss, Mildred headed
toward the kitchen. Laura grinned at Remington, gave him a
quick kiss and patted his face reassuringly.
"Don't worry," she said as she
followed Mildred out of the room.
"Don't worry," Remington
repeated to himself as he began pacing. "Don't
worry, she says. Don't
It wasn't long before Laura
and Mildred returned to the living room. Remington's hair was
tousled and his tuxedo was carelessly thrown over a chair.
Seeing that Laura and Mildred
were both smiling, he broke into a broad smile of his own.
"Ahhh! I take it everything is all straightened out and back to
Remington put his arm around
Mildred's shoulder and started ushering her to the front door.
"I assure you, Mildred, there are no hard feelings. We'll just
pretend that tonight's little escapade never ever happened,
"Ah, Mr. Steele..." Laura said
with a lilt in her voice.
Remington turned quickly, not
liking the tone of her voice or the look on her face.
"Mildred and I arrived at a
compromise," Laura explained as she walked over and took
Remington's free arm.
"A compromise?" Remington
asked with great trepidation.
"We're going to share you,"
Laura said cheerfully.
"Share me?" Remington asked
"We drew straws and Mildred
gets you tonight," Laura stated.
"You drew straws?!" Remington
repeated in disbelief.
Laura put her arms around his
neck and gave him a passionate good night kiss.
"Until tomorrow, Mr. Steele,"
she whispered seductively as she picked up her evening bag and
opened the door. Smiling, she blew him a kiss and then she was
Mildred attacked Remington
with renewed fervor as soon as the door was closed. Remington's
protests only served to excite her more her Despite his
reluctance, she once again managed to rip his shirt
"Mildred, please! Control
yourself! No! Stop that!" Remington pleaded as he slapped her
hands away. "Don't do this, Mildred. You're not yourself!
Please, Mildred...no! That tickles!"
"Oh, Mr. Steele, how often
I've dreamed of this! I promise you, this will be a Night to
Remember!" Mildred said as she began maneuvering him toward the
Once in his bedroom, Mildred
kicked the door shut. Remington's protests and Mildred's sighs
grew louder and louder behind the closed door