Written in 1985 - Mildred Krebs, ever the efficient secretary, was staying late at the agency while the information she had requested on her trusty computer finally came through. As soon as the printer cut off, Mildred tore off the sheet of paper and gave the new information a quick glance. She smiled as she added it to the folder she held in her hand and hugged it to her. Mildred Krebs loved to dig!
- Thinking it might be just the break they needed in their current case, she figured Mr. Steele and Miss Holt would want to see the information right away. She quickly shut down the computer equipment, turned out the lights and locked the office door.
- As she hurried down the hall and waited for an elevator, Mildred remembered overhearing Mr. Steele and Miss Holt making plans for dinner at his apartment for later that evening. Glancing at the folder in her hand, she was torn between giving them their privacy or giving them the new information her computer had just rendered.
- "Well, they won't mind if I just drop this by. They might want to go over it after dinner. And if they don't want to bother with it, they don't have to!" she decided.
- The elevator announced its presence with a ding and Mildred hustled on board.In no time at all she was busily unlocking her car door. She was so excited about her new "hot off the press" information didn't even notice the man who came up behind her and hit her on the head.
- She crumpled to the ground, still clutching the folder. But before the stranger could pry it from her fingers, several bystanders rushed up to check out the commotion. Mildred regained consciousness to find three strange faces staring at her with concern.
- One of the faces asked if she was all right.
- "I think so," Mildred replied, "but my head hurts like hell. What happened?"
- No one had actually seen what had happened, but the ice cream vendor thought someone was trying to snitch the folder of papers she had clutched in her hands.
- After assuring everyone she didn't need to see a doctor, she thanked them for their concern and headed toward Mr. Steele's apartment. If it was those papers that had earned her that clonk on the head, the sooner she got rid of them, the better. Besides, she had a pounding headache and the aspirin at Mr. Steele's apartment were closer than the aspirin at her place.
- As she made her way to Rossmore Ave., Mildred suddenly found herself giggling like a schoolgirl. She couldn't stop thinking of Mr. Steele and how closely they had worked together earlier that day while she preformed her magic on the computer. He had been standing so closely behind her that she could smell the scent of his soap and feel his breath on her neck.
- Mildred felt herself blushing and giggled once more. She was starting to think of her boss in a whole new light.
- ******
- Remington was busily putting the finishing touches on his beautifully set dining table. He lit the candles and straightened a few pieces of silver and crystal. Glancing around the room one last time, he realized everything was perfect for a romantic dinner. The fresh flowers added the perfect touch to the elegant table, just as the soft music and glowing fire added the perfect touch to the room.
- Glancing at his watch, he noticed it was one minute before eight. Laura would be arriving any moment; she was always punctual. He slipped into his tuxedo jacket, which had been neatly hanging on a chair. He and Laura had mutually agreed to make this a formal romantic dinner by wearing their finest attire. Laura had teasingly promised she would wear her provocative gown from the Presidential primary. Remington had yet to see her in it and found himself smiling in anticipation.
- He figured he had time to slip into the kitchen and check on the canard a vin rouge. Just then, however, the doorbell buzzed.
- "Laura," he said affectionately as he opened the door, fully expecting to find her standing there.
- But it wasn't Laura who was standing there.
- "Mildred?" he asked in confusion. Puzzled, he looked around Mildred and scanned the corridor. "I, ah, thought you were Miss Holt. What are you doing here? "
- Mildred held out the folder. "That information you and Miss Holt requested finally came through. I thought you'd want to see it right away."
- She walked in. "So, Miss Holt's not here yet?"
- "Um, not yet," Remington replied as he shut the door.
- "Good," Mildred said as she grabbed his arm and led him to the couch.
- "Mildred, what are you doing!?" he asked in a surprised voice.
- She launched herself at him, pushing him backwards onto the couch and pinning him against the cushions. The folder flew out of his hands, scattering papers all over the room.
- "Mildred, please! You're crushing my jacket, not to mention my ribs," Remington protested.
- "Oh, Mr. Steele! I've waited so-o-o long for this!" Mildred declared as she tore off his tie, ripped open his dress shirt and smothered him with huge, wet kisses.
- "Mildred, please!" he protested more forcefully.
- Just then the doorbell buzzed again.
- "Saved by the bell," he said cheerily. He tried to get up, but Mildred wouldn't release her hold on him.
- The bell insistently buzzed again, followed by a knock and Laura's voice.
- "Mr. Steele? Are you okay?"
- "I've got to answer the door, Mildred. It's Miss Holt," Remington insisted.
- "Let it ring," Mildred said with a wave of her hand. "She'll go away eventually."
- "Mildred!" Remington protested in a shocked tone as she continued her amorous assault on him.
- Meanwhile out in the hallway, Laura was puzzled as to why her knocks and calls were going unanswered. For a moment she was afraid something must have happened to him, but she quickly decided he was probably still in the shower. It wouldn't be the first time Mr. Steele hadn't been ready on time.
- She fished in her evening bag for the set of keys to his apartment. Unlocking the door and stepping inside, she was totally unprepared for the sight that greeted her. There, just a few feet in front of her, were Mildred and Mr. Steele writhing on the couch, groans and gasps emitting from them both.
- Mildred's voice was plainly heard above the ruckus. "Oh, Mr. Steele! Let's go into the bedroom!"
- After a beat to catch her breath, Laura managed to gasp, "Mildred! Mr. Steele! What is going on here?"
- They both looked up to see Laura standing in the entryway.
- "Ah, Laura! Just in time!" Remington exclaimed as he hastily extricated himself from beneath Mildred. He quickly stood up and clumsily started buttoning his shirt.
- "Obviously," Laura said. "Please.; don't let me interrupt. You two just go right ahead and finish whatever it is you were doing. I'll just make myself comfortable."
- Laura calmly sat down in the chair across from the couch.
- Remington just stared dumbly at her, then at Mildred, and then again at Laura.
- "Just pretend I'm not even here," Laura said with a smile as she put her arms on the arms of the chair and began tapping her fingers.
- "Laura, please believe me. It's not what you think!" Remington sputtered helplessly.
- "Well, just what *is* it then?" Laura asked.
- "It's Mildred," Remington gasped. "She's gone berserk! She threw herself at me like some cheap floozy! No offense, Mildred."
- "What do you have to say about this, Mildred?" Laura inquired.
- "It's true, Miss Holt," Mildred confessed as she straightened her dress and squared her shoulders. "I can't deny my feelings any longer. I've been mad with desire for the boss for months now! For years! I think it started during the Pygmalion twin case, when he answered the door in that towel. You can't imagine the sleepless nights I've spent since then, lusting for him, yearning for him..."
- "Mildred, please!" Remington exclaimed in shock. "You don't know what you're saying!"
- "Oh, I know exactly what I'm saying, Mr. Steele," Mildred said seductively as she stood up and put her hands on Remington's chest.
- Remington pushed her hands aside and started backing away. Mildred continued to move closer even when Remington continued to back away.
- "I watch you at the office when you think I'm working," she went on. "I have dreams about us--passionate dreams that would put the Dark Prince to shame. I simply can't live without you any longer. I know business and pleasure don't usually mix, but rules were made to be broken."
- She made a desperate lunge and grabbed Remington in a tight embrace, once again smothering him with kisses. He struggled and finally managed to push her away, holding her at arm's length.
- "Mildred, please! That's enough! Get a grip on yourself!" Remington demanded shakily, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping lipstick from his face.
- He looked at Laura, who was still sitting in her chair, completely unruffled. "Laura, please! Say something, for Heaven's sake!" he pleaded.
- Laura slowly stood up, took Remington's handkerchief and wiped off a smudge of lipstick he had missed earlier.
- "Icy calm, Mr. Steele. Icy calm," she reminded him with a smile and a twinkle.
- "How can you stand there with a bloody smile on your face?! I mean, we have a definite problem here!" he said as he retrieved his handkerchief, wiped his forehead and then returned the handkerchief to his pocket.
- "Patience, Mr. Steele. I have an idea," Laura explained as she patted his arm reassuringly. "Mildred, can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?"
- "Sure, Miss Holt. But I warn you--I know what I want and I won't give up without a fight."
- "The kitchen, Mildred?" Laura repeated with authority.
- Remembering that Laura was in charge, even though Remington was the boss, Mildred headed toward the kitchen. Laura grinned at Remington, gave him a quick kiss and patted his face reassuringly.
- "Don't worry," she said as she followed Mildred out of the room.
- "Don't worry," Remington repeated to himself as he began pacing. "Don't
- worry, she says. Don't worry..."
- It wasn't long before Laura and Mildred returned to the living room. Remington's hair was tousled and his tuxedo was carelessly thrown over a chair.
- Seeing that Laura and Mildred were both smiling, he broke into a broad smile of his own. "Ahhh! I take it everything is all straightened out and back to normal! Wonderful!"
- Remington put his arm around Mildred's shoulder and started ushering her to the front door. "I assure you, Mildred, there are no hard feelings. We'll just pretend that tonight's little escapade never ever happened, eh?"
- "Ah, Mr. Steele..." Laura said with a lilt in her voice.
- Remington turned quickly, not liking the tone of her voice or the look on her face.
- "Mildred and I arrived at a compromise," Laura explained as she walked over and took Remington's free arm.
- "A compromise?" Remington asked with great trepidation.
- "We're going to share you," Laura said cheerfully.
- "Share me?" Remington asked squeakily.
- "We drew straws and Mildred gets you tonight," Laura stated.
- "You drew straws?!" Remington repeated in disbelief.
- Laura put her arms around his neck and gave him a passionate good night kiss.
- "Until tomorrow, Mr. Steele," she whispered seductively as she picked up her evening bag and opened the door. Smiling, she blew him a kiss and then she was gone.
- Mildred attacked Remington with renewed fervor as soon as the door was closed. Remington's protests only served to excite her more her Despite his reluctance, she once again managed to rip his shirt open.
- "Mildred, please! Control yourself! No! Stop that!" Remington pleaded as he slapped her hands away. "Don't do this, Mildred. You're not yourself! Please, Mildred...no! That tickles!"
- "Oh, Mr. Steele, how often I've dreamed of this! I promise you, this will be a Night to Remember!" Mildred said as she began maneuvering him toward the bedroom door.
- Once in his bedroom, Mildred kicked the door shut. Remington's protests and Mildred's sighs grew louder and louder behind the closed door until...
dtalley@mindspring.com