Steele, Inc.-Atlanta Division
 
 Steele in the Top 10

Page 2
 
Top 10 Things
to Avoid on Your Honeymoon
10. dead dukes in suits of armor
9. public transportation that caters to chickens
8. Mexican jungles
7. cascading rapids
6. the office
5. Malvados
4. hotels unworthy of magical moments
3. Immigration officials
2. old flames who suddenly appear out of nowhere
1. jail
 

Top 11 Headlines
the L.A. Tribune Never Ran
 
11. "Steele Flees IRS-- Skips to Acapulco"
10. "Great American Detective Romancing Woman While Associates
Almost Murdered in Next Room"
9. "Remington Steele Solves Own Murder!"
8. "Steele Turns to Crime--Steals a Million Pounds from London Bank!"
7. "Remington Steele a Fraud--5 Passports, No Name"
6. "American Detective Remington Steele Attempts to Murder Earl of Claridge with Gold-Plated Shovel"
5. "Hapsburg Dagger Stolen; American Detective Remington Steele Under Suspicion"
4. "Hotel del Amor Sues American Detective ;Demands Payment"
3. "Remington Steele Marries Secretary on Tuna Boat to Avoid Deportation"
2. "Holt-Steele Marriage a Fraud; Both Face Prison Terms"
1. "Accused Murderer Remington Steele Escapes Mexican Jail; on the Lam with New Bride"
 
 

Top 10 Ways to Tell
When Remington is Upset
 
10. does legwork
9. hums or whistles
8. scowls
7. watches old movies
6. relaxes
5. doodles on his napkin
4. has shaky hands when picking a lock
3. makes confessions
2. yells
1. bites fingernails
 

Top 10 Ways to Tell
When Laura is Upset
 
10. works crossword puzzles
9. uses treachly tones and frozen smiles
8. throws things and yells
7. flirts with strange men
6. jumps to conclusions
5. teaches the road a lesson it won't soon forget
4. closes Remington's credit card accounts
3. crinkles eyebrows
2. wolfs down food and champagne
1. tap dances on Remington's toes
 

Top 10 Statements Overheard
During Laura and Remington's Marital Spats
 
10. "Don't call me the Little Trooper!"
9. "What movie is that line from?!"
8. "No, it would not be romantic to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary at the Hotel del Amor."
7. "And speaking of missing jewelry . . . Just exactly where is the necklace I gave you
after the Chef Gaston case?"
6. "You did a fan dance on a bar in Acapulco for a former boyfriend and his banker buddies.
The least you could do for me is wear the negligee I gave you instead of your flannel pajamas."
5. "You wouldn't even exist if I hadn't invented you!"
4. "How is it that when I do something dangerous, it's reckless.
But when you do something suicidal, it's a good idea?"
3. "You're the gourmet cook. If you want me to help with the cooking, then teach me."
2. "Pardon me for trying to save your neck!"
1. "The baby is not due for 8 more months. Why do we have to choose a name right now?"

dtalley@mindspring.com
 

Disclaimer: The characters of
Remington Steele are used without permission.
All original writings copyrighted 1982-2005 by Debra Talley for entertainment purposes only.