Things Not to Do
- When an Old Flame Shows
- 10. stuff
them in the bedroom closet
- 9. hide them
on the balcony
- 8. have them
hunker down beside the kitchen cabinets
- 7. shove
their coat under the coffee table
- 6. agree to
help them steal a famous painting from an art
- 5. do a strip
tease for them
- 4. turn them
over to Scotland Yard
- 3. ignore
your partner while you stare at them
- 2. introduce
them as your sister or brother
- 1. kiss them
within an inch of their life in order to make your
10 Romantic Mementos
- 10. a silver
- 9. a
purloined invitation to Devil's Playground
- 8. a Courtney
doll and tube of Ben Gay
- 7. an
original drawing of Dashing Dave and Dollface
- 6. a
photograph of a Long-legged Field Darter
- 5. smutty
little love poems from Laura's first "secret
- 4. the
sensitive letter Remington gave Laura during walk on
- 3. a key to
an ice cream truck
- 2. a black
- 1. a passport
in Remington Steele's name
and Remington's Top 10
- Recurring Child-rearing
- 10. "I'm not
sure it's a good idea for the children to help you
collect larcenies for your scrapbook."
- 9. "If Rocky
is the only babysitter you can get, then let's just
forget the symphony!"
- 8. "The baby
is only 3 weeks old. How much of The 39 Steps do you think he'll
- 7. "Mr.
Steele, please! Not in front of the children!"
- 6. "Be
sensible. The last time we took the children to the
circus on a school night, they fell asleep in
- 5. "No, you
will not order pineapple pizza again! From now on if I
cook it, you eat it!"
- 4. "What do
you mean we'll just take the baby with us when we
break into the museum?!"
- 3."Do you
think it's a good idea for the children to see you
eating chocolate quite so erotically?"
- 2. "I don't
think teaching the children to pick locks is the best
way to improve their fine motor skills!"
- 1. "They only
want to spend the night with Frances and Donald. It's
not like they're asking to go play in the run-off
tunnels with rats."
10 Wardrobe Tips
- 10. Don't
wear a white suit or white shoes in a Mexican bull
- 9. If you
must carry a gun, tuck it in the back waistband so it
won't ruin the line of the suit.
- 8. Sunglasses
are appropriate for any occasion.
- 7. Cash is
bulky and ruins the line of the suit.
- 6. Never show
- 5. Every suit
needs a matching pocket handkerchief.
- 4. Wear basic
black when either cat burglaring or romancing.
- 3. Never run
a marathon in a suit and tie.
- 2. Always
dress for the part.
- 1. Never
ever, under any circumstances, splatter mud on a
- Terminal Flights of
- 12. playing
hooky from the Agency to practice for a
- 11. driving
down Malibu Canyon without brakes
- 10. taking a
spur of the moment flight to London without a
- 9. necking at
a bus stop on streets of Bel Air.
- 8. betting a
romantic weekend in Paris against a year of
Remington's mysterious past
- 7. getting
gambling fever in Las Vegas
- 6. spending a
weekend on the Devil's Playground with
- 5. purloining
- 4. doing a
fan dance on a bar in Acapulco
- 3. doing a
strip tease in a winery to help an old boyfriend hide
a dead body
- 2. creating a
decidedly masculine superior
- 1. marrying
an illegal alien on a tuna boat in international