A short time later, Laura and
Remington were on their way to the office in the limo. Fred had
congratulated them on their marriage straight away. Laura didn't
miss the look that passed between Remington and Fred. She had
suspected for quite some time that Fred and Mr. Steele had
developed a special camaraderie between them. She wasn't sure she
really wanted to know what that look had meant, so she chose to
ignore it. For now.
"What do you bet Mildred
sabotaged the Auburn?" Laura asked as the limo headed toward
Century Center. "She didn't want us coming to the office today
"Remind me to give her a raise,"
Remington calmly remarked.
"Mr. Steele, need I remind you,
we have work to do. We can't just take off at the drop of a
"You're absolutely right, Laura.
We have reports to write, papers to file, paper clips to count and
pencils to sort.We couldn't possibly find the time for a
honeymoon, now could we?" Remington asked sarcastically.
"That's the price we pay for
being the best, Mr. Steele. Business before pleasure. Remember?"
Laura asked with a smile as she patted Remington's knee.
"It all depends on exactly what
one wants to be the best at. Eh, Mrs. Steele?" Remington asked
with a lop-sided grin.
Laura had no reply; she merely
crossed her arms across her chest. Remington, watching her from
the corner of his eye, did the same. And so it was that the two of
them sat in silence, arms crossed, until the limo pulled up to
"Remember, Laura," Remington
reminded her as he painted a smile on his face.
Laura rewarded him with a painted
smile of her own. She and Remington exited the limo and sent it on
Putting his arm around her waist,
he leaned close and said, "The happiest married couple in America,
"Why did I ever agree to this
charade?" Laura demanded in frustration.
"Because you don't want to see me
deported," Remington reminded her.
"I know, I know," Laura replied
with a sigh as she put her arm around Remington's waist. "When I
make a bargain, I stick to it. Don't worry."
"That's my little... trooper!"
Remington said, barely correcting himself in time to save his foot
from Laura's lethal stomp.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't
the newlyweds!" a voice declared from across the lobby. Laura and
Remington looked around and saw Grant, the manager of the lobby
newsstand, motioning to them to join them.
"I certainly didn't expect to see
the two of you today!" Grant explained.
"Yes, well, work stops for no
man," Remington explained as he rubbed Laura's arm.
"I'm surprised you have the
energy to work today. I mean, last night *was* your wedding
night," Grant explained with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"And truly ANight to
declared as he glanced at Laura with a smile.
"Brian Aherne. Loretta Young.
1942!" exclaimed Grant excitedly.
"Excellent, Grant!" Remington
"Hopefully, though, the only body
you uncovered was Mrs. Steele's," Grant said with a wink.
"Suffice it to say our marriage
is off to a lively beginning. Wouldn't you agree, my love?"
Remington asked as he cocked his head to one side and looked at
"Absolutely, Darling. I'd always
dreamed of being swept off my feet on my wedding day, and
Remington certainly didn't let me down," she explained as she
patted Remington's chest.
"I always was one to rise to the
occasion," Remington explained, looking deeply into Laura's eyes.
Placing his hand gently under Laura's chin, he leaned in for a
long kiss. He knew Laura wouldn't protest in a public place, so he
took his advantage while he could. He knew he'd probably pay for
it later, but it would be worth it.
When Remington finally broke the
kiss, he noticed that Laura was once again blushing. She wasn't
used to public displays of affection.
"Ah, perhaps, we'd better go
upstairs, Dear, where we can have some privacy," Laura
"Excellent idea," Remington
"Just a minute," Grant exclaimed,
grabbing a copy of the Los
Angeles Tribune and
placing it in Remington's free hand. "You can read this in the
elevator on the way up. Great picture."
Remington thanked him and led
Laura to the nearest elevator. As they waited for their floor,
they read about their marriage in the morning paper. The article
was accompanied by a large picture of a smiling Laura and
Remington outside Justice Hall's office.
They were the only passengers in
their elevator, so they were able to speak freely.
"At least they spelled our names
right," Remington finally commented.
"And one of us is a secretary,"
Laura said bitterly.
"This is no time to be petty,
Laura," Remington reminded her.
"You're right," Laura admitted.
"We should just be thankful that your brush with deportation
"True, but this is only one
newspaper. Chances are that all of the city newspapers will report
on our Marriage of the Year. Even the National Whisperer And don't you just know that inquiring
minds would love to know that the great Remington Steele is a
fraud who stands a chance of being deported?"
Laura put her arm around
Remington's waist. "Courage, Mr. Steele. They haven't licked us
yet. I won't let anyone hurt Remington Steele; yours, mine or
She gave him a quick peck on the
cheek as their elevator came to a halt on the eleventh
Laura and Remington walked arm
and arm down the hall towards their suite. They heard the mayhem
before they actually saw it, but it didn't register. When they
arrived at Suite 1157 and looked through the glass doors, they
came to an abrupt stop. Reporters and photographers filled every
nook and cranny of the Steele reception area.
"Let's get out of here!" Laura
whispered as she grabbed Remington's arm and they took off running
down the corridor.
"There they are!" yelled a very
perceptive reporter who looked a great deal like Jimmy Olsen.
Mildred was nearly trampled as she made a vain effort to keep the
mob away from the double glass doors.
Remington grabbed an empty
elevator as the stampede headed their way. He shoved Laura inside
before him and they both held their breath until the door finally
closed, not a moment too soon. He then quickly punched LOBBY and
then after a short wait, EMERGENCY STOP. The elevator jerked to a
stop between the sixth and seventh floors. Then quickly ripping
open the control panel and studying it for a moment, he
disconnected two wires. A quick rescue was now impossible.
Remington, breathing heavily,
turned and faced Laura. "I take it you don't want to go to work
today after all. Am I correct, Mrs. Steele?"
"How perceptive of you, Mr.
Steele," Laura commented.
"Yes, well, just one of my many
virtues," Remington said with a smile.
"So now what? Do we just wait
here until maintenance rescues us?" Laura asked.
"Well, that is a possibility.
Actually, it could prove to be a very interesting wait. I can
think of worse ways to spend the day than being stranded in an
elevator with you. But while the wait might prove interesting,
that won't solve our problem. The reporters will still be waiting
whenever we are rescued," Remington explained. "But there is
"I expected as much. You usually
have a back up plan," Laura remarked.
"Actually, escaping from a stuck
elevator is a very simple procedure," Remington said.
"Speaking from experience, are
you?" Laura asked teasingly.
"You mean I never told you?"
Remington inquired. "Ah, what an adventure! Stranded in a lift
with a beautiful heiress a million pounds in precious gems and on
the coldest day of the year with no heat. How we huddled for
warmth! Must admit, though, she was a mite miffed that I waited
seven hours to confess that I knew how to get us out of there. But
oh, what memories we made in those seven hours."
"Just skip ahead to the chase. We
don't have all day, you know. You can reminisce about your
beautiful heiress tonight on the couch," Laura said.
Remington just grunted. "And here
I thought you wanted to know about my past."
"Will you just shut up and get us
out of here?" Laura demanded impatiently.
"Of course. Whatever you say,"
Remington conceded. "Most elevators have escape hatches. We just
climb through the top of the car into the elevator shaft and open
the door on the floor above us."
"Sounds simple enough," Laura
"Okay. Okay," Remington said as
he bent over. "Just climb onto my shoulders so you can reach the
Laura climbed onto his shoulders
and he managed to pull himself to a standing position. After he
positioned them under the hatch, Laura managed to push the hatch
through and slide it onto the top of the car.
"OK. Now crawl onto the top of
the elevator," Remington directed.
Laura managed to pull herself
through the open hatch into the elevator shaft.
Remington then made a giant leap
and grabbed hold of the sides of the escape hatch. He crawled
through it onto the top of their car, finally standing beside
Laura. The door to the sixth floor was even with Remington's
waist. He tried to pry the elevator doors open, but
Taking a quick look around, he
said, "Ah, hand me the metal trap door, Laura."
Laura did so and by using it for
leverage, he was able to pry open the elevator door leading to the
sixth floor corridor. He quickly pulled himself up to the 6th
floor and gave Laura a hand.
"The back stairs, Mrs. Steele?"
Remington asked as he took off quickly in that direction.
"Lead the way, Mr. Steele," Laura
It wasn't long before Laura and
Remington exited Century Center by means of a side door and rushed
to the street to hail a cab. Before they could do so, however,
they noticed Fred and the limo approaching. That was just too much
of a coincidence. They quickly scrambled into the limo and
breathed a sigh of relief as Fred pulled into traffic.
"OK, Mate. Out with it!"
"Out with what, Sir?"
"How did you just happen to be
waiting in front of the building?" Laura asked.
"Orders, Mrs. Steele."
"I'd rather not say, Ma
"What's so funny?" Laura
"Mildred out conned us both! She
kept us from going to work today after all, bless her romantically
devious heart!" Remington noticed that Laura wasn't laughing. "Oh,
come now, Laura. There's no way we can go to the office without
"Well, what are we going to do
all day? I'm not about to return to the condo with you for the
rest of the day!"
"You don't hear me suggesting
that, do you? You're far more receptive to me in public these
days, so I suggest we spend the day somewhere very public."
"Oh, you're impossible! Besides,
aren't you forgetting that we're more likely to run into the press
in a public place?" Laura asked.
"Not if it's public enough. How
about Disneyland? Thousands of people, lots of hustle and
bustle--the perfect place to lose ourselves in the crowd!"
He watched Laura carefully and
was pleased when she broke into a wide smile.
"Disneyland!! Oh, Mr. Steele, I
like your style! It just so happens I love amusement parks almost
as much as I love circuses!"
Remington silently thanked his
lucky stars. Finally, he had found a new way to lower Laura's
defenses! With any luck, he wouldn't be sleeping on that bloody
couch another night after all.
The day was all Remington had
hoped for--and much more. He and Laura both forgot their
inhibitions and allowed themselves to enjoy each other's company.
Laura lived up to her end of the bargain and actually seemed to
enjoy acting the part of a newlywed. Remington pressed his
advantage to the limit. They convinced everyone they encountered
that they were the happiest married couple in America. The scary
thing was, they were even beginning to convince themselves.
Sometime after midnight they were
in the limo on the way back to Remington's apartment. Both were
laughing and Remington's arm was around Laura.
"I can't believe it took me over
three years to find out amusement parks were a shortcut to your
heart," Remington said.
"A girl can't give away all of
her secrets, Mr. Steele," Laura explained. "After all, you have
your secrets; I have mine."
"Maybe it's time we start sharing
some of those secrets. Eh, Mrs. Steele?" Remington asked.
"Maybe it is," Laura said coyly.
"You can start by telling me your real name."
"My real name. My real name.
Really, Laura, you do have a one track mind," Remington
"I might be willing to make a
trade," Laura said seductively as she ran her fingers across
"Unfortunately, that's the one
item not up for trade, Mrs. Steele. But perhaps we can come up
with a compromise," he suggested.
"A compromise..." Laura murmured
as she leaned in for a kiss. "I think that could be
Their kiss was long and sweet.
They didn't break it until the limo slowed to a stop two blocks
from Remington's apartment.
"What say we finish our
negotiations in bed, Mr. Steele," Laura whispered
Remington merely grinned and
licked his lips as Laura opened the door and stepped out of the
limo. He followed, helping her into her jacket before slipping
into his own. He then draped his tie around his neck, walked
around to the rear of the limo and banged on the trunk.
"OK, Fred," he said
Fred hit the trunk release and
Remington opened it, pulling out a spear gun with a collapsible
grappling hook attached by a rope. He then closed the trunk and
hit it twice.
The limo pulled away as Laura and
Remington walked towards Remington's apartment building, keeping
to the shadows.
"I'm impressed, Mr. Steele.
Entering your apartment from the bedroom window so we can avoid
the press stationed out front is brilliant idea," Laura
"Yes, well, hopefully you'll be
even more impressed before the night is over," Remington
"Indeed, Mr. Steele. I look
forward to it."
The grappling hook caught on the
air conditioning grate on the first throw. Laura started the long
climb first, followed closely by Remington. It wasn't long until
they scrambled onto Remington's fifth floor balcony. They made
their way to the bedroom window, which Remington jimmied open in
Once inside his bedroom, Laura
lingered in Remington's arms while they shared a long kiss.
Suddenly they heard someone clearing their throat behind them.
Turning quickly, they were stunned to discover a stunning woman
with long auburn hair and wearing an elegant dress sitting on the
Laura recovered her voice first.
"Goldilocks, I presume."
"Laura, I swear to you, I have
never seen this woman before! I have no idea how she got into our
apartment and I have no idea what she's doing on our bed!"
Remington explained desperately.
Laura looked from Remington's
pleading face to the strange woman's frightened one. "I believe
you, Dear," she said as she walked closer to the bed.
"You do?" Remington stuttered in
"Now, just who are you and how
did you get in here?" Laura demanded.