Joy's (Almost Completely) Text-Based Web Page!

After long and loud clamoring by my millions -- OK, hundreds --- all right, dozens (it's my page and I can lie if I want to) of fans, I've decided to ditch the adorable but untrue-to-life cartoon and insert an honest-to-God photo of The Real Me. [Insert trumpet fanfare of your choice.] The actual photo (and the person in it, for that matter) isn't quite this grainy, but it's the best I can do.

This photo was taken after my triumphant performance as Barbarina in "The Marriage of Figaro" in 1986. Don't get too excited -- it was only a college production, and since it was performed by students, we had to take turns with the parts, so I only sang for one performance, but I did get to sing on opening night, so that's kinda special, right?

In case anyone is interested, I didn't get to keep the costume (bummer), but I do still have the shoes, and even occasionally wear them at SCA events (see links).

Now you finally know what the real Joy looks like. OK, you know what I looked like twelve years ago. If you must know what I look like now, cut the hair shorter and make it straight, add (mumble, mumble) pounds and put me in (usually) jeans and a t-shirt, and there I am. At this point, you might be saying, "Why bother? I was looking for the [insert the personality's name of your choice] .GIF, anyway."

However, the point of my creating this page was for you to learn a little about me, whether you want to or not. I mean, nobody twisted your arm to get you here, right? So in the interest of filling space ... I mean, spilling my guts to unseen millions of 'NetSurfers (tm), here goes:

My "real" name is Joy M. Herring. I was born, reared, and live in the metro Atlanta area (which hosted both the Olympics and the Paralympics in 1996), and have all my life. Guess what -- that makes me a native Southerner. Look close, because we seem to be growing more and more scarce.

I'm thirty-something, to steal a phrase, and married to the best husband-creature in the world. Well, he would be the best husband-creature in the world, if I could get him to throw his dirty clothes in the hamper, and remember to give me my phone messages, and not play with the darned TV remote all the time .... But I digress.

We have no children, but we do have a cat, Charlemagne. If you're not a cat person yourself, let me assure you that when one has cats, one has no need for children. As you can see, he is a twentieth-century cat, despite his name. In fact, there was a time when he liked the computer almost as much as "the humans" did. That time has passed; he now has "important kitty stuff" to attend to. As befits a royal feline, Charlemagne has several titles: "Wholly Roaming Empurrer," "King of the Veldt," "Prince of Pownce" (his spelling, not mine), "Knight of the Byrd" (his favorite toy), "Defender of the Bowl," "FJC" (Fierce Jungle Cat) and "FCL" (Fierce Cave Lion). See why we don't need kids?

I pay the bills by being a drivers' license examiner for the GA Department of Public Safety . That means I get to observe the vagaries of human nature up close and personal, which is not always fun, but does mean I have lots of funny stories to tell at parties. I've been hit by a car, used as a target, spit at, called things it's not genetically possible for me to be , and pulled over by a cop in the middle of a road test. So the next time you think my job is easy, try to remember the last time those things happened to YOU in the performance of your bread-winning activities. To answer a few of the questions I know are coming:

No , our life insurance is no higher than anyone else's, though maybe it should be;
No , I don't like my job much anymore, but it pays the bills, and you just don't throw thirteen years away lightly;
No , we don't wear guns, and if you saw what we have to put up with you'd understand why; and
Contrary to popular belief, we do NOT enjoy making your life a living hell.

OK, if you actually read this far, you deserve a reward. So here're a few Web links that will give you some indication of what I like and what's important to me. Hey -- there's even the slim chance that between reading the above soul-bearing missive and checking out these links, you'll decide I might be fun to know. Miracles happen -- and if you don't believe me, be sure to click on that second link!

Thanks for stopping by ...

Joy

The SCA: What it is, and why you might care.

This site will tell you almost anything you might want to know about the Society for Creative Anachronism. My husband and I live in the Kingdom of Meridies , which is the only kingdom that matters. ;-) If you ever attend an event in Meridies, ask around for either Magdalen of Cheshire (that's me) or Lord Martin Dragonet (that's my husband-creature) -- we'd like to meet you!

TransWeb: What it is, and why you should care.

My dear husband-creature is a double transplantee -- he received a kidney/pancreas transplant on 19 February 1995 at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta. If you have ever had any questions about the organ donation process, this is the place to find answers. I encourage you to learn more about it -- then sign a donor card and tell your family why you did!

The WebMuseum: What it is, and why I care.

If you enjoy art, this is a must-see! If you don't enjoy art, take a look anyway -- you don't want people to think you're some kind of uncultured Philistine, do you?!

eBay: What it is, and Lord help your wallet if you start to care. ;-)

Like to spend money? Like to buy one-of-a-kind items that will be the envy of your friends and enemies? Like to do both of these without ever leaving the comfort of your home? Then eBay is for you! I've purchased things there I never thought I'd find anywhere, and I've purchased things I never knew I wanted. (Gulp!) Even if you never spend a dime, you'll have fun looking at what other people will spend their money on. Check it out!

The Electric Postcard: What it is - TELL me if you care!

I love getting mail -- as long as it doesn't contain the words "amount due." So if you have some comments about my site (good or bad), don't just drop me a dinky e-mail message - heck, anybody can do that! Send me a postcard -- and if I like your comments enough, I may even send you one in return!

One last word:
Folks, this is my first try at a Web page, so go easy on me, eh? I will truly appreciate constructive criticism and helpful hints, but the phrase "Your page sucks," IMO, is neither of these. Remember what you learned in kindergarten -- if you can't say something nice ...

And by the way --- this page was created with WebPen , an extraordinarily easy-to-use HTML Web editor. If you've been looking for a program that will (almost) write your page for you, try WebPen! (Tell 'em Joy sent you --- not that I'm on commission or anything. ;-) )

Always wanted to be a number? Well, ta-da! here you are!

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