This
information has been provided to you by Erik Fisher, Ph.D. : www.erikfisher.com
Tips
to Deal with Challenging Parents
- Always remember that the
parent’s first priority in a teacher meeting is often to protect
their child…at any cost. If they feel threatened, they may strike
back.
- The parent’s second
priority is often to protect themselves and their image of themselves as a
successful parent. Guilt and Shame often will call on Anger to protect
them.
- Some parents may be
looking to argue, because of their own issues, not yours.
- Some parents may revert
back to their school days when meeting with their child’s teacher.
- The teacher’s
priority is often to protect their image as a successful teacher. Take a few
deep breaths, find your power, and believe in yourself.
- Be willing to entertain
what the parents want and repeat what you hear back to them before you
tell them why it can’t work. Then offer a solution.
- Realize that if the child
has an attention or learning problem, since they are often genetic, the
parent may have them also.
- Avoid talking to a parent
as you may talk to your students.
- Just because you are a
teacher does not mean that you can’t learn a new way to do
something. Children often teach us much about ourselves if we are willing
to listen.
- Don’t feel like you
have to have all of the answers all the time. It is okay to not know about
something and get back to someone when you find what you need to know, but
be sure to follow up.
- If you feel a parent
meeting may be stressful or confrontational:
- Go for a walk beforehand
to get your thoughts together.
- Imagine yourself in a
peaceful, relaxing scene.
- Talk about the sources of
your stress with a friend.
- Be aware as to whether or
not your issues are playing into the stress.
- Explore the sources of
your stress:
- Is your stress
based in the present or past?
- What are all the
emotions you are feeling?
- How are you
expressing the emotions associated with your stress?
- How
powerful/powerless do you feel related to the source of stress?
- Are you taking your
stress out on others?
- How can you
increase your sense of power related to the stress?
- Look for options to
reduce your stress. Often when one recognizes that they have choices,
they are able to choose to feel less stress.
- Ask yourself if the child
is being served in their best interest.