The Mountain Revisited
Erik Fisher, Ph.D. : www.erikfisher.com
I climbed a mountain the other day and believe that I learned more about myself from that single experience then perhaps from any other single event in my life. I set out with a goal - to go on a journey to find a part of myself I thought was missing. I personally believe that there is always learning in life if we can learn to live in the moment and find the value in our experiences.
It was September in
As I continued through this second tier of landscape, the tall dew covered grass began to quickly soak my shoes and pants, and I was questioning my choice to continue. With a growing sense of hesitation, I continued onward and upward with the thought in the back of my mind that if I turned back now, I would have failed. Despite the many lectures I had given others, that failure is only a feeling, not a reality, I allowed the fear of it to push me onward. My feet and pants were growing colder and wetter. I also found that my path was not as straight as I would have liked, as many obstacles seemed to get in the way, and I had to find my way around them.
I came to a thicket of brush and trees that seemed to extend about 100 yards. Beyond the dense brush and trees I could see that the terrain to the top of the mountain was low growing grass, moss and lichens, which would be easy to hike through. However, I had to evaluate whether or not I wanted to hike through this thicket and was becoming aware of how ill-prepared I was for the elements. I then asked myself. "Why am I doing this? Why don't I want to turn back to acknowledge my inexperience and ill-preparedness?" I had set out on this journey and was not as prepared as I thought. I stopped at that time to reflect on the lesson that was being presented. The lesson: Throughout my life, I have often set out on my own path. Often finding myself in unfamiliar territory, I feel alone, confused, and lost but cannot turn back because I fear that monster, Failure, is following behind me. I then continued to remember my own lectures to others about failure. All that Failure wants is to be honored and accepted. I was then able to swallow my Arrogance and realize that I do not have to be perfect.
I decided to turn around, with the intent to find another route that had been traveled by others. I found that where I had previously walked up, there were almost no signs of my journey. After finding my original destination, I traveled back to a park a few miles back, taking a chance that perhaps there was access to a mountain trail. To my amazement, there was a path that wound its way up the mountain. I began my trek again, a little wiser and a little more humble.
The path was easy to follow. Although the incline did not look to be very steep, I found myself losing my breath every 100 yards or so. I felt my lungs laboring, so I stopped to catch my breath. Looking ahead to the twin peaks above, I already began to choose which one I would take to the top. Regaining my strength, I continued. As I climbed, I noticed that it was taking me longer and longer to catch my breath, and the distance to the top of the mountain was looking further and further. Once again, I doubted my ability to complete the journey.
I continued on again, beginning to scramble, occasionally pulling myself up with my hands. I was feeling like a pathetic example to my own aspirations. I was out of breath, and the two peaks looked further away with every step. My emotions were battling within for power, and Doubt and Fear were winning. I decided to stop and rethink my options. I decided to turn around and look where I had been... I actually had a view of what was below me. I could see the top of the fog in the valley below, and it no longer looked like it was going to swallow me up. I began to realize another important lesson that was being presented to me. The lesson: I have often had a tendency to plod tirelessly ahead toward a goal and forget to look back and admire where I had been. I quickly found that I was recovering my breath while soaking in the view and continued.
I soon found myself at the mountain pass between the two peaks. I unexpectedly came upon a hiker. We talked a moment, and I asked his advice for which peak he would climb. He pointed to the one on the left. Once again I was at a place to make a decision on whether or not to follow through with a previous intention. On the way up, I had chosen to climb the other peak. The lesson: I have often disregarded the advice of others because my Arrogance got in the way. I decided that he made a wise choice, bade him good luck, and started on my way. The journey up the peak was steeper than the previous climb, and I found that the rest periods were becoming more and more frequent. Regardless of looking to where I had been, Doubt and Pessimism continued to taunt me with Fear beginning to heed their call. I doubted that I would reach the top and began to find myself wanting to settle for possibly turning back from where I was. Step by step I continued the climb, winding my way around the peak rather than attacking it directly.
As I rounded the peak near the top I looked to my right only to find a rainbow appearing from a cloud and finding its way to the mountainside. I then felt an overwhelming cold chill run through me and felt a strong sense of reward and pride fill every part of me. I felt a presence around me that wanted me to remember the significance of this event. I appreciated this gift of nature as I continued to the top.
As I made my way down the mountain, I never saw the hiker again, but I internally thanked him for his guidance. The lesson: everyone and anyone you meet may have information for you to use in your life, if you are ready to listen. I know I chose the right peak for me, with his guidance. As I continued to revisit this event there was much for me to learn along the way, if I was willing to see it. I just had to have my eyes open to the lessons along the way...