The Death to Jar Jar Binks Home Page

 

Computer-Birthed Frog Boy

Jar Jar Binks, the all-CGI character in the Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and now Revenge of the Sith, is a blight upon our world and must be expunged! He is supposed to be a "Gungan", an alien indigenous to the planet Naboo. In reality he is a deadly cancer upon the Star Wars universe! Join the battle against his evil...

 

The True Star Wars Fans Speak

Our fearless readership can submit their own thoughts on Jar Jar here.

Read some of the excerpts from the fans page:

Vanessa writes: "Death to the floppy eared menace!"

"There are no words to describe the pain the Binks thing should be put through......" says the Dwood family.

Joe asks, "Any ideas on how we can actually impress upon Lucas how he's destroying his legacy by injecting fart/shit jokes (via Jar Jar) into the Star Wars stories?"

"two words chewbacca sodomization," says John.

 

 

The Jar-Jar Lovers Whine

Some semi-literate Jar Jar supporters managed to write in in support of their little buddy. Let's see what they have to say - I'm a fair guy!

You can read the comments from Jar Jar himself, and from poor little 10-year-old Jimmy who begs us not to kill his new friend!

 

 

The Critics Speak

The mass media joins the crusade against Jar Jar! Here are some excerpts from the various articles and critical analyses of Jar Jar, see the critics page for more...

Time Magazine says "The Gungan klutz Jar Jar Binks... is more annoying than endearing." In a fit of unusual venom they call him a "computer-birthed frog boy."

The Village Voice says "Jar Jar and his fellow Gungans suck the oxygen out of every scene; their human costars seem understandably asphyxiated."

 

 

Props for the Page

Hey media guys, if you use this page in print, Web, or TV it'd be nice if you at least dropped my an email to let me know here.

Yours truly was interviewed for an article on Jar Jar hate in the Colorado Springs Gazette!

Read the article mentioning us in Salon!

We got shown on ZDTV!

Jar Jar Hate Poll
With Episode III ready to release, what do you think will be Jar Jar's final fate?

Real father of Luke and Leia (explains Luke's bug-eyes).
Becomes "Grand Moff Jar-Jar", in charge of ill-fated early "Hindenburg class" Death Star experiments.
Obi-Wan decapitates him to get some "Dark Side Points" for the final battle.
Chewbacca sodomization!
R2-D2 tasers him in the nutsack and blows him out an airlock when no one's looking.
Mace Windu turns him into a Gungan-skin wallet with "Bad Mother Fucker" embossed on it.
He dies a true hero, saving Jedi from dying; I watch this scene lovingly over and over on the DVD while touching myself, and eventually commit suicide in solidarity with my man-frog.
Jar Jar becomes Emperor; Lucas releases new versions of the once-good original trilogy with him superimposed over all the Emperor's scenes. Poo-doo indeed.
His foul visage is plastered over another couple thousand tons of Star Wars merchandise no one wants, which ends up overflowing our nation's landfills.
Ahhh, who's going to watch Episode III anyway?


P
revious poll results:

What do you think of Jar Jar being a "respected statesman" in Ep. II?
Of 1604 votes
28% Kill him while he's nailing Padme "froggy-style"!
15% Why haven't you updated your damn site in a year?
14% Less Jar Jar screen time? Promote him again!
12% Yoda needs to kung-fu smack down Senator Tongue-Boy
11% Poorly-acted spaz Anakin must die first
9% I'm a Lucas-loving sissy boy and he can be my Senator
8% He must be Palpatine's "intern"
3% They have Kennedys there?

What do you think of Jar Jar Binks?
Of 1305 votes
36% Jar Jar must die
25% Jar Jar is OK with me
14% Death to all Gungans and Lucas too!
13% Jar Jar is pretty annoying
12% Who are you and where is my soup?

How should Jar Jar Binks meet his untimely demise?
Of 965 votes
25% Multiple lightsabers to the colon
24% Tied to a pod racer by this tongue
16% Drown in a pool of his own blood
13% Step in Bantha crap, fall into Sarlacc
11% Ejected into deep space by R2D2
10% Soul swallowed by new Hellraiser C3PO

 
 
Jar Jar is decried by the Church!
See the article declaring him "Satanic" and the Jar Jar doll a covert "masturbation toy!" From Landover Baptist, where the unsaved are unwelcome.

 

Jar Jar sex toy candy revealed!
See the article about this kiddie candy that "instructs youths in the ways of ungodly sex!" (I actually have one of these things - they are very scary. If you want to French kiss Jar Jar, your chance is here.) Also from Landover Baptist.
Update: This candy is getting re-released with Episode III! Watch out!

 

HERESY ALERT!
The alt.fan.starwars.jar-jar-binks.die.die.die newsgroup has been subverted by Jar Jar lovers. See their corrupt website for more. Please head on over to that newsgroup and flame away.

 

Brits are crazy
Check out this kid's Jar Jar shrine. A real serial killer in the making.

 

Some Jar Jar Movies
Check out this Lego-based Web story where Jar Jar gets beheaded!
And the classic "Jar Jar's Walking Papers."

 

Listen to the rap song "Jar Jar Binks Must Die!" from the rap group Damn Nation.

 

80 Billion Tons of Jar Jar Merchandise
Now 70 Percent Off

Read the article from The Onion!

Update: You can only see this if you're an "Onion Premium" subscriber, the money-grubbing bastards.

 

Brothers in Arms against the Gungan Menace
There is a Yahoo category for anti-Jar Jar pages! Hopefully we'll appear there soon, we've been submitted.