 |
| Entry #2 |
|
| Entry #2 |
Links Contact me |
 Over
the years I have had a variety of good friends and it is surprising how
they often turn into extended family. I have always been the kind of person
who looks at friendship in levels; acquaintance, friends socially, personal
friends, sexual friends, family friends and extended family, just to name
a few. I don't really think about putting people into categories while
I am with them and later when I try they always end up crossing lines and
being in several of my all too human categories. Actually, when I think
about it I really cannot divide people up so easily, but for the purpose
of writing stories it helps to put people into nice neat rows and define
them. Actually, it only helps me to remember each of them to the fullest
extent that I can and then spin them around a bit and release them and let
the pieces fly where they may. No wonder this book is beginning to feel
like the tilt-a-whirl.The older I get the more I seem to take delight in the simple things; a sunny day and blooming flowers, good conversation and a good joke. I have also found that as a gay man I have a good many women friends. I don't know that this is because when women and gay men mix there is no sexual pressure; certainly there are cases when this “boundary” has been crossed. I like to think it is because we actually have things in common. I have friends of both sexes and all sexual orientations and I find that all have one obvious thing in common. We all seem to love each other and our friendship, DUH! I appreciate a friend most when I am feeling low and just by being themselves, they are able to give my person sorry relief. I also appreciate them when I am able to do the same for them.  In
Portland, Oregon in 1991 I was at a low point in my life; my partner had
passed away and I quit the job I was in because they were partly responsible
for his death and they treated me like garbage after he died and I wanted
time off to deal with the entire issue. I took care of myself for a couple
of months and learned a bottle of booze is not the way to cope. I finally
took a new job which put me in a small Oregon town about 60 miles away from
Portland. I administrated over 2 group homes and a vocational worksite for
developmentally disabled adults. It was at this job that I met a very special
friend, Debra. Debra is a red headed Irish soul with an infectious laugh
and a kind heart. She is quick to find the positives in others and just
plain fun to be around. Whenever I found myself in Clatskanie I looked to
find her kind and smiling face. Debra had issues of her own, but unless
we agreed to talk about our “issues ” we found other things to
talk about and laugh about. I always left feeling lighter of heart and hopefully
I helped her feel lighter too. On occasion I stayed up there over night
in either a motel or in Debras' daughters room (minus the daughter,
thank you). Debra was divorced and her ex was quite the ass hole most of
the time. He manipulated whenever he could and Debra was always quick to
reenact his garbage with a particular twist and wonderful facial improvises
that always made me roar in laughter.One trip on St. Patty's day we ventured to the big coastal town of Astoria. We decided to bar hop and met friends of Debra's. I don't remember too much once we began pelting each other with green pistachios except that we were asked to leave, and singing we made our way out and back to her home. I do remember the trip home being very quick and a bit twisted, but the road does have multiple twists and turns. It didn't matter that we couldn't stop laughing at that time, however green beer leaves the same hangover as regular. Somehow I was hoping magic brew would leave us richer. The event made Debra and I closer than ever and we continued visits after I left the job and moved on. She last visited when I was living in a small beach town on the Oregon coast, she would call and tell me she was coming down so she could get some needed sand in her crack! While I was spending my 3 1/2 years in Rockaway beach on the Oregon coast in my Bed and Breakfast business, I met a charming person through a regular guest. Seems they were engaged and she would be coming with Doug and staying with me, too. Madeline was an instant friend. Actually, we both knew in an instant that we had been siblings in lives before this. We became close and talked for hours, even when I was supposed to be working, and I often was rude and talked to Madeline while customers gave me money and got their keys. She had two dogs, both mini-schnauzers and both very silly. Her fianc? Doug also had a bird, a cockatiel named Stevie. I remember Stevie most because every time we saw each other we danced. Sounds strange to dance with a bird, but he would see me and start bobbing his head and away we went from there. Madeline was a healer and very good at it. It took her a long while to get me to try the healing and yet eventually I did. She is able to manipulate the aura and tell what is good and not so good. She also produced heat from her hands and could actually make you feel better. She is the one who first told me to be careful of my lungs, liver and kidneys. How right she was as I have issues with all three. Perhaps by telling me she even helped save my life. She continues to this day to call me her little brother and called me when I moved to Savannah, Georgia because I lived on Walz drive and I had forgotten that before she married Doug her maiden name was Walz. She called at a perfect time, too, I had been thinking about her and dancing with Stevie. It seems funny that we are tossed into the ring with so many people and no matter where this happens we meet people who shape our lives, the one we are in and often others we have had. Madeline is so very much my sister; I have had many who became sisters, but seldom do I find a sister at first sight!  It
seems I have found myself living in many places and environments. Buddy
(my late partner) used to tell me that we have to accept that in addition
to living many lives as different people, we also live many lives in each
person. I know I have in each place I have lived and with people I have
loved. I came to Prescott Arizona by chance and it was a good place for
me. I learned to heal myself and to take better care and to like myself
after too long a waning period of toleration only. I met a wonderful friend
at the clinic where I worked as a Case Manager. Sarah is a Nurse who worked
with my team while I was there. Sarah is a very mild mannered and very kind
person who cares more for others than she often allows for herself. I found
that as I worked with her I would make excuses to go to the nurse's
office and visit. I didn't take other breaks, so I never felt guilty.
Breaks are essential at the clinic, we spent most of our time helping Mentally
ill people out of crisis. Sarah
and I could talk and share a laugh at something that happened and each of
us could twist an event that seemed stressful into something fun. Amazing
to laugh at a client who after numerous calls and threats to kill herself
or me or someone else, when I finally took a call and could hear the tinkling
of ice in a cocktail glass. When I confronted the client the phone suddenly
went dead and the calls stopped. Needless to say, crisis over! For several
years now, Sarah can just say “tinkle, tinkle” and make me laugh.
Sarah helped me see that our families and friends are most important and
that watching a baseball game and gabbing so much that we didn't know
it was over is a real event! I enjoy talking and hearing about the issues
she faces with her growing son (who is a gem of a guy and will break many
girls' hearts). Sarah is one of those people that I will always set
aside time for. She has visited us here in Savannah and is originally from
the East Coast and one day I hope she will return to this area near her
sister in North Carolina and us here in Georgia. Nothing is more fun than
walking in Forsyth park with Sarah and her sister with our late' drinks,
laughing about pictures taken and peeking into gardens on the streets of
Savannah.Friendship takes so many different forms and faces and as long as I breathe, I hope to make as many friends as there are stars. |
