This article is a while in coming to the site. I have been working on it and expanding the book of the same name, and it seems I could go on for a very long time about the friends I have had and loved over my life. I decided it was time to shorten the article and put in a few of my meetings of friends and loved ones and the others will appear at either a later date, or will find they fit well into the book. Thank you for your patience dear readers...

I have been thinking of late as to how we meet each other. All of us here on this little planet are strangers waiting to meet. It is amazing that we can meet someone very simply and develop a strong friendship that lasts for years and years, and again meet another easily and loose them after a brief time. I remember reading that there are different levels of friendship; this in addition to the numerous kinds of friendships. Some are fleeting and the friendship comes and burns bright and then disappears just as quickly never to be rekindled. Some friendships are seemingly open, caring and giving, they last a good while and later one finds that that friend, as well as ourselves, developed this friendship for a time because we needed each other and used each other and were better for it. These friendships end, too, and usually are of a mutual understanding that our time is done, to remain close would only hurt us. This kind of friendship also can also be applied to lovers as so many are there for a time, but once we grow apart, it is done and we are better for the experience and growth. The other type of friendship that I enjoy is those who stand the test of time and are always strong. These are the people we know well and who know us and care only for the friendship we have. No time or distance can limit this type of friendship; after many years, this sort of contact comes to feel like home.

I have been fortunate over the years to have had all kinds of friendships and loves. I enjoyed even the brief encounters, but appreciate and love mostly those people who are close to me, no matter where we are. Those I have known and loved for many years. It is wonderful to speak to friends who have been there most of my life. They are truly our kindred spirits; death will not take that away.

I met my friend Mike in high school. He was part of a group of people that all "hung out" together. I seemed to blend right in. Mike was introduced to me in Spanish Class by another friend, Frances. Mike and I had similar senses of humor and found many times to get together and laugh. Mike and I found it especially fun to do the wizard of Oz; all characters, all voices. Our favorite characters remained the munchkins, however. The group held together fairly strong until many years later. Mike and I rekindled our friendship on several occasions over the years. One of his most liberating contacts was to discuss his coming to terms with being gay. He was happy about his life and later brought a partner to Atlanta to visit me. We lost contact until I found him again while in Oregon. Soon after that contact we again lost contact, but somewhere we may again make contact and have new things to tell each other. It is interesting that Mike lived for a while in Phoenix, AZ and used to tell me it was his favorite city. I also lived in Phoenix and found it to be one of the worst cities I lived in. It was close to my folks at the time I was there and a city as opposed to rural living. And although I liked the weather as weird as that may be, as a city Phoenix is a cultural wasteland.

Back in 1973 I applied and was accepted as a high school apprentice to Purdue University in a summer stock for theatre. It was part of an equity group and the plays were part of the experimental theatre. During my busy schedule I met a student who was going to summer classes. We met at the university student union cafeteria. He was talking to another student, and as I was sitting alone, they decided to invite me to sit with them. They both invited me away from there, but I agreed to meet Sam later. Sam turned out to be my very first boyfriend. It was very short and exciting for me and as first loves usually are, very painful for me after we parted. I had to include this special meeting, as first love is something we all experience and never forget. It is something destined to end (usually) and always seems greater than it really was. I never heard from Sam again and it is probably a very good thing.

I did meet other wonderful people that same year at Purdue and through my roommate I met Dick. Dick was associated with the university, and lived in a large Victorian house in Lafayette. Dick was interested in psychic ability and the occult, as I was, and so we had much to talk about. Dick and I remained friends for a couple of years and through Dick I met one of the most important friends of my life. Tom was living with Dick when we met and we became friends during the time Tom and Dick were ending their relationship. I was a source of support to Tom and later he did the same for me. Tom and I have remained close for the past 32 years and he is one of those friends that no matter how long we are apart, once we are together it is as if no time has really passed. Tom has been there through every relationship I have had and has been there to listen to my doubts and worries. He and I have continued to see each other even when we were 2000 miles apart. He is someone I know will always be there for me as long as we both live. He has reminded me that no matter where I go in life, there will always be someone who loves me. This is also my feeling for Tom; he is the friend I will always love.

I remember my first "real" job. I was a Technician at a state hospital in Elgin, Illinois back in 1975 and I really liked many of the people with whom I worked. I remember Ann who was an older, heavy-set Irish woman who always said, "Old men, babies and dogs... they all love me, everyone else can go to hell". She always called me Dr. Killjoy and I called her Nurse Goodbody. There was Doris, Joanne and Rose, all who were kind and fun to be with. However, there was a woman, close to my age, who had been on swing shift (I worked days) and finally changed to an earlier afternoon shift. We had to work together at times and for some reason we didn't seem to like each other (probably something I said, I have a big mouth). I don't really remember the issues we had, only that we had them until we were forced to be together and suddenly found common ground. Linda and I worked together many times and when things got rough with one of the patients who may have needed and refused care, or was having a psychotic outburst, Linda and Geoff often got in and took care of things. I remember in particular a patient who desperately needed to be showered and refused... for days. Linda and I finally got him to come with us peacefully and while we all walked to the bath area, he managed to smear us both with shit... No big deal really, part of the YUCK job; but I remember having to wear state issued clothes and being stopped by security on the way out. Linda and I became friends after hours, too. I remember us helping each other with Halloween outfits one year. I also remember her little house next to the river. Over the years, Linda and I have lost touch for a while, but we seem to find our way back again and any time we talk or see each other it seems like I never left. We are currently in contact and I am grateful and want to remain in contact, 30 years is a long time to be friends. It is amazing what E-mail can do.

I met several wonderful people back in the 70's through a Gay Association, the Fox Valley Gay Association. I saw an ad in a newspaper and contacted them and went with my sister to a meeting. I remember meeting several people then, but the one who was most friendly was a man named Mike, an Asian American, who was very nice and the only one there who made it a point to help new people feel welcome. I later met his partner, Dennis, and became friends to the two of them. They had a nice home in Elgin and I remember birds in cages in the backyard. They were all shapes and colors and I also remember monkeys, who embarrassed Dennis because they were always humping each other, regardless of the gender. Smart monkeys! Dennis and Mike remain friends with me from their home in Ft Meyers Florida.

Another friend back then was Jim K. He and I became friends through a social function at the Gay Association called Rapp Sessions. Jim used to call on me frequently, knowing I am a chatterbox and that I would often get the conversation going and going and going. I am still bad about beating a topic to a bloody death. I lost contact with Jim after a few years. Dave was another special friend; he was the first president of the association and to me very attractive. I was smitten, but we were not introduced and when we actually met, it was odd and we didn't seem to care too much for each other. Later I was involved with the Associations Speaker's Group. We talked with various groups about being gay and civil rights. It was then that I made an impression on Dave. We began to be more friendly and maintained the friendship for several years, even after I had moved to Atlanta. I last saw Dave in 1983 and lost all contact until 2001. I found his address and sent a Christmas card to him. He e-mailed me and said he didn't remember me and would I refresh his memory. I tried, but perhaps I need accept the familiar thinking that we no longer need to be in contact. I am thankful for the Fox Valley Gay Association and I understand they continue to exist.

The meeting of my partner Buddy was an odd affair. We met and ended up seeing each other every week for over two years before we took a plunge and became more exclusive. We met by accident, actually. I took a good friend to the local baths as he had never been to one and asked me about them and also to take him to try it out. This was back in 1979 early in the year and one must remember that the AIDS crisis hadn't been heard of at that time. The baths were a local meeting place for relaxing, being with other gay men and, yes, for sex. Buddy was there that night and needless to say we liked each other. After other "activity" we went out to a deck area and sat and talked for a while. We were both at that time living with other people, both unhappy. The person I was living with was abusive and less than a roommate; Buddy's live-in was an emotional rollercoaster and although he made attempts to make something work, it was bound to fail. A friend repeatedly told Buddy that 'When you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas'.

Buddy and I continued to meet regularly and over the course of time we fell very much in love and when very shortly after we were both completely free, we hooked up again and I took him home and that was it. Most of the people we know never knew about our early years, we chose to keep that to ourselves. It may not have been terribly honest to the people we were living with, but that is one of the things about being Gay and not being given equal rights to marry. We have no real strings except love and if that dies, it is a matter of time before we just walk away. Buddy and I remained in a 1 on 1 for over 10 additional years and they were filled with struggles, but mostly they were filled with laughter. Buddy could take any song and change all the words and to this day when I hear the song 'Somewhere', I sing his words.

Meeting people in Portland once we moved across country was surprisingly easy. We met our first friend Hal at a gay bar in town. We had been visiting and looking at property to rent before actually moving there and we were not having any luck. We stopped at the bar to relax a bit and decide if we would stay in Portland or move on the look at Seattle. Hal was in the bar with another of his friends and heard us talking; he offered a name of a friend of his who owned some properties. Through Hal we met Dick who became our landlord for the first 4 months we were in Portland. Dick was a kind fella', fond of the drink and very emotional. He could cry at the drop of a hat, and although he did so, he was a basically happy guy. Dick is the person who told us about Loosee. He told us Loosee was a very large Indian fella' whom everyone loved and who was so kind and friendly that we should meet him. A very little while later Dick introduced us and Loosee immediately told us he was taking us under his wing. " I just love you guys, you're just fabulous." as he hugged us and then told the bartender "Oh Miss!... Miss... (The bartender was a guy) my friends are parched!"... The rest with Loosee is history. We spent many weekends having fun at bars, restaurants, movies, parties, trips to the ocean and even a ski trip.

Timmy was a friend of Loosee's. Loosee told us about Timmy and told us Timmy was a very hyper and silly/fun guy who loved to party and had pot. Buddy and I smoked it back then and we couldn't find any in Portland. Loosee being the matchmaker he was set us up with Timmy. Timmy turned out to be a very sweet guy, very silly and witty. We met weekly at his house to buy our eighth oz. and we met his partner Ron then as well. Ronnie was a quiet and very kind man, the exact opposite of Timmy as far as his affect; however, they were a good match.

We met many people in the years we stayed in Portland. Buddy passed in 1991 and afterwards I continued to meet and to lose friends. Late in the 90's I found the fun and exciting world of the Internet. I met several people in chat rooms and through a yahoo ad for friends. Two people I met through the Internet were while I was still in Oregon. Jim I met through another acquaintance. Jim and this other person were chat buddies and later I joined the chat room and got to know Jim. We eventually hooked up and began to chat on a personal message center and then by phone. We met several months later and began a friendship. Jim and I continue a friendship of distance, he is in California and I am here in Georgia again. He recently got married (he is a confirmed bisexual) and seems to be doing well with it. I continue to send and receive e-mail from him. The other person I met through a chat was David. He lives in metro Portland and is a very kind soul. He sings and is a chorus director and what a voice! We have continued to send e-mails and cards and occasionally a phone call.

The other successful person I met through the Internet is my friend, Bob. I had just relocated to Arizona, I didn't like it there, but I was in a position to help my folks and they were helping me, so I stayed there a while. I put an ad in Yahoo seeking new friends to go to dinner, movies, hikes etc. "nothing romantic". After the war of a bad quasi-relationship in costal Oregon, I was in no mood to even consider romance. Bob and I quickly became friends and went to dinner weekly and to karaoke afterwards where we watched the drunks making fools of themselves. We went for several weeks until we realized the same drunks were singing (sort of) the same songs every week and so we became bored and stopped the karaoke thing and just had weekly dinners. Bob has since moved to Kansas and retired and we continue our friendship.

Over the years I have noted the way we all meet people who become friends and lovers and no matter if they are straight or Gay or somewhere in between, our meetings all have common threads. We meet people in everything we do and we develop relationships based on commonalities and personality traits. It seemed when I was younger that my friendships were based on a commonality of sexual orientation and because it was something in common and because the gay community operates as a brotherhood/sisterhood, it seemed easier at one time. Now I realize it is a matter of where we put ourselves and how open we are to others. I find that in spite of our differences in who we choose to love, we have more in common than we have any differences.