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I had an exclusive interview this afternoon with Dr. Einstein, well actually it wasn’t that exclusive because other ghosts floated in as he spoke. He is so interesting! Of course I was anxious to hear what he had to say about President Bush’s Social Security plans. I told the old genius (by the way, he is in perfect health and looks terrific, although he still wears his hair in his own version of the fright wig).
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Let’s see where was I? Oh, I informed Dr. Einstein that Mr. Bush had declared the US Social Security system to be in a state of crisis. Therefore it had to be fixed immediately. Einstein said just one word, “nonsense.” I was stunned. But I gathered myself together and told Einstein that Bush now has declared Social Security racist because African-Americans die sooner than white people. Again Einstein said “and that is nonsense too since blacks die young or at birth because so many of them do not have access to health care. Many black babies die in their first year of life, dying at a rate two and a half times more frequently than white babies. If a black baby makes it through his first year and grows up and then grows old, his benefits from Social Security are actually a little better than the majority group of white babies.” I said, “Well what do you suppose Bush is after with Social Security?” Einstein looked bored. He stifled a yawn. He cleared his throat. He coughed. “He is ambitious, your president, he likes to change things around a great deal. He likes changing things in a big way; makes him feel like he’s powerful and attractive to powerful people. Power is his trip, it’s called your ‘King of the Hill’syndrome. His dad was a war hero you know. He might be trying to best his dad’s record.” What do you think? I was thinking this over when Einsten said, “But at this point in time your Social Security system is in perfect shape and will benefit people greatly the way it is set up for at least another fifty years and with a few minor adjustments all benefits will last and will be paid indefinitely. “But, Dr. Einstein,” I said, “the president is telling everybody...” He interrupted me. “What did he tell you about his war in Iraq?” “Oh yeah,” I said. “That didn’t hold water either.” “You should tell them down there, you should let them know!” Einstein said, as he jogged off to his office. Yes he jogs and he has an office in which he works on his many new mind-boggling theories. He is way beyond his E = MC2.
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