They don't exist - those complete records and those beautiful service medals. They don't exist for Bush and Cheney because Bush and Cheney skipped out on their military duty. Cheney signed up for nothing and Bush took early leave in his National Guard Never-To-See-Vietnam service.

And yet, with these dismal records, these two guys, Bush and Cheney (who stick together like glue and are known as the "testifying duo") bulldoze ahead and jab away at Kerry and his military service records. What gall!

Bush only wishes he had Kerry's credentials - The Bronze Star, The Silver Star, The Purple Hearts. Kerry has three Purple Hearts. But Bush and Cheney claim that Kerry didn't suffer enough injury in Vietnam to deserve Purple Hearts. With regard to honorable and courageous service to one's country, this reporter respectfully must inquire into the exact extent to which Bush and Cheney feel that their own bodies should be shot up, broken and war-torn before they would consider receiving Purple Hearts for themselves?

Oblivia Offenfaulty reporting for Grandma Minutia