It's a very cold day. I've lost my job. (Really my job left me behind when it went overseas.) So I'm pounding the pavement looking for work. On and on I trudge, worrying that I might wear out my only pair of decent shoes before I get a job. There is no work to be had. Corporations are only laying off employees, not hiring them. Rent due, I'm the sole support of my family and I'm completely desperate. What to do? What to do?

I hear of a job being offered by the Halliburton Company, but I realize I would have to relocate to Texas and then I would be in Texas and even though Dick Cheney has retired from the Company, I wonder. He must still have friends there and being in Texas with friends of Dick Cheney? I don't think so. Besides I have no money for moving "Texasward."

Then I hear of a job with New Bridge Strategies, a firm that gets contracts for reconstruction in Iraq. I also hear that Neil Bush, the president's brother, is involved with New Bridge Strategies. But I'm put off by anything to do with Iraq. I need a steady job with security and benefits. Another thought: how can I be sure Cheney wouldn't drop in for a visit at New Bridge...? That scares me.

Engineering Support Systems is a company that is hiring. Ah, but it deals with war equipment of all kinds, not a job I want. But really, I'm so desperate now... President Bush's uncle, William H. T. Bush, is the big shot in this company. I don't know, I worry that somehow Cheney might have something to do with it too. Finally I realize, in my horrifying dream, that all of the corporations that are hiring are somehow war-related, with friends and family of George W. Bush in charge. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Biting my pillow, struggling with my sheets, almost falling out of my bed in a panic, I wake up!

Vice President Cheney may be the man of my dreams but I'm here to testify that the man is a total nightmare!

Special report by Oblivia Offenfaulty