I just heard Bush speak and found out that things are just peachy-keen in our country. He noted that our economy is on the move and that home ownership is way up as well. He is sure that we all have lovely houses to live in. He said that jobs will be plentiful if we study more math and science.

He assured us that we are safe from terror as long as he is in charge. The terrorists wanted war and they got it. He doesn't need a "permission slip" to keep us safe, he said. Saddam came out of a hole and the president stepped on him. Osama bin Laden wasn't mentioned. Was he stepped on? Our vile enemies are disappearing nowadays too fast for me to keep up with them.

The tax breaks the president has given us will protect our prosperity, he said. We won't have a care in the world as long as he is in charge. He is our leader and he is so pleased that everything is going so well for all of us.

He strongly recommended marriage. He proposed that anyone taking steroids should stop and get married right away! Isn't that nice? His audience clapped and clapped and clapped and then stood up and clapped and clapped some more, especially Mrs. Bush. She was especially pleased.

However, one pretty little lady fell sound asleep during the president's speech, despite all of the noisy clapping. And I noticed that Ted Kennedy looked a bit drowsy. I think he was trying to stay awake by rolling his eyes.

God bless America.

Oblivia Offenfaulty reporting for Grandma Minutia