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Some Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a House to Run

1. If you have to throw up, get into a chair, QUICKLY! If you can't
    manage that in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is
    available, any good rug will do.
2.  ALWAYS accompany guests to the bathroom. It's not necessary to
    do anything; just sit and stare.
3.  Do not allow closed doors in ANY room. To get a door opened,
     stand on your hind legs and hammer with your forepaws.
4.  When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. 
     You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
     stepped on, picked  up, and consoled with food.
5.  Once a door is opened, it's not necessary to use it.   After you've
     ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out
     and think about  several things. It's particularly important during
     very cold weather, rain,  snow and mosquito season.
6.  Begin people-training early.  You'll then have a smooth-running
     household.  Humans need to know the basic rules.  They can be
     taught if you start early and are consistent.
~ Author Unknown ~


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Thirty Reasons It's Nice to Be a Dog 

1. No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2.  Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything
     else for that matter.
3.  When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never
    worry about being fired.
4. If it itches, you can reach it.
5.  And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in
6.  It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.
7.  You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.
8.  April 15th means nothing to you.
9.   People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.
10. Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.
11.  A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.
12. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.
13. As an adult, it's okay if you haven't amounted to anything.
14. The older you get, the more people respect you.
15. You can sleep late every day.
16.  If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
17. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap.
18. There's no such thing as bad food.
19. You don't have to worry about good table manners.
20. Someone else combs your hair.
21. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window
     to feel the wind in your hair.
22. You're always excited to see the same old people.
23.  Having big feet is considered an asset.
24. If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
25. Everything smells good to you.
26. A garbage can is a fast-food stop.
27. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.
28.  No matter where you live, you own the place.
29.   Your mate never complains because you whine.
30. Puppy love can last.
~ Author Unknown ~


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