A set of memories, to be added to by anyone who loved her:

Who Was Amanda?

I usually think of Amanda in motion. Coming down the stairs, her cordless phone tucked between shoulder and jaw. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, on her way out to a movie with friends, and maybe flashing her smile in my direction.

Who Was Amanda?

She was a good musician. Her last piano teacher suggested she might consider a career as a professional musician, but she wasn't sure that was the way she wanted to go. She liked to sit at the piano and play some of her old favorites; occasionally she would tackle a new and difficult piece, like the Levant solo piano transcription of Rhapsody In Blue.

Learning to play jazz piano was a challenge for her. She wasn't comfortable with improvisation, and she came to the conclusion that she hated playing solos. She hadn't signed up to return to the jazz band for her senior year. But she played a few very respectable, improvised solos with the jazz band. After school was out, she decided that she would try to rearrange her schedule, in order to stay in the jazz band.

Who Was Amanda?

She formed her own opinions, and she didn't hesitate to express them. She could be bossy, but she did not stop loving people who didn't share her opinions.

Who Was Amanda?

She was a loving person. She cared about her friends. Their photos form a large collage on one wall of her bedroom. Even when she had an argument with someone, the photo remained in place. She understood that disagreements are a part of love.

Who Was Amanda?

She was my daughter, my first-born, the one who first taught me the meaning of love. Once a little girl who was very close to me, she was turning into a woman whom I didn't yet know very well.

I don't think independence came easily to her. She had to struggle within herself to set herself free from the protective bonds of childhood. But she was determined to build her own life, and to do it on her own terms, at her own pace. Looking forward to the full experience of life, she was still cautious, opening herself to new experiences only as she felt herself ready for them.

She had grown up a lot in the past year. There was a new sense of self-confidence about her. Not yet certain exactly what she wanted to do with her life, she anticipated a bright future stretching out before her. So did we.

Who was Amanda? Many things to many people, and more things than can be contained in words. This is a tiny part of what she meant to me. I hope others can add to it, so we can all know her better in memory.

Robb Holmes 7/12/97