I Don't Know Why
I cannot sit down in class when you say
I cannot be still when you say
I cannot do my work when you say
I do not know why
The desk is polished wood
smoother than any I have seen
initials carved there center themselves
in my mind
whose
when
why
would mine feel as good
I cannot do the math
"I didn't finish the spelling?"
I cannot work the computer
"I didn't finish the math?"
"I cannot go out to play?"
"Yesterday I didn't share?"
I do not know why
Yesterday, the ball was so very round
smoother than any I have seen
it flies
it bounces
it does what I tell it to---almost
why does it do these things
there is so much to learn about balls
I cannot do the reading
but I can play games in my head
I cannot do the writing
but I can kick under the desk
I cannot draw a map
but I can make the world notice me
I do not know why
Today, I hit a smaller boy
because he was smaller
because he would make everyone notice me
because he could do and I could not
because he was busy and I was not
because--I'm not sure why--
I took all the paper from the boys' restroom
I stood in the hall and watched
shrugged at the bigger boys
laughed at the smaller boys
until the teacher came and got me
I do not know why