I Don't Know Why

I cannot sit down in class when you say

I cannot be still when you say

I cannot do my work when you say

I do not know why

The desk is polished wood

smoother than any I have seen

initials carved there center themselves

in my mind

whose

when

why

would mine feel as good

I cannot do the math

"I didn't finish the spelling?"

I cannot work the computer

"I didn't finish the math?"

"I cannot go out to play?"

"Yesterday I didn't share?"

I do not know why

Yesterday, the ball was so very round

smoother than any I have seen

it flies

it bounces

it does what I tell it to---almost

why does it do these things

there is so much to learn about balls

I cannot do the reading

but I can play games in my head

I cannot do the writing

but I can kick under the desk

I cannot draw a map

but I can make the world notice me

I do not know why

Today, I hit a smaller boy

because he was smaller

because he would make everyone notice me

because he could do and I could not

because he was busy and I was not

because--I'm not sure why--

I took all the paper from the boys' restroom

I stood in the hall and watched

shrugged at the bigger boys

laughed at the smaller boys

until the teacher came and got me

I do not know why