The Ann Landers Rebuttal Page

DEAR ANN LANDERS: I have been laid off from my job for the first time in my life. Let me tell you, the experience is shocking and humiliating. May I offer a list of "DOs and DON'Ts" for your readers who might know someone in my position?

DON'T expect your unemployed friends to enjoy the kind of social life they once did. Unless they have a lot of inherited money, it won't be possible. DO invite them over for dinner and offer to rent a movie. It will be appreciated.

DON'T keep asking if they have looked for a job yet. Believe me, they are looking. DO check with your own company, family or friends to see if they know of any jobs that match your friend's qualifications.

DON'T complain about your job, no matter how bad it is. Be grateful you have one. DO talk about ordinary subjects such as sports and politics. He or she might not have a job, but they still have interests.

DON'T try to affix blame for your friend's unemployment. You will never know the whole story. DO encourage your friend to stay positive, and take this opportunity to improve his or her skills in other areas.

Thanks, Ann. Maybe my suggestions will help someone else get through these rough times.

-- Looking for Work in California

Ann said:

DEAR CALIFORNIA: You and millions of others all over the country. We should have known the economic honeymoon could not last forever. We are now facing reality. The "glory days" are behind us for the time being.

For anyone who is looking for employment (and there are a lot of you), even though you may feel "overqualified," set your pride aside, take the job, and work your way up. You will be glad you did.

Cath says:

DEAR CALIFORNIA: DON'T tell people how to treat you. This approach always backfires. DO treat everyone you encounter with the same kind of courtesy and respect you expect for yourself. Each human is a mirror. (This is one of the lessons I learned during a particularly long stint of unemployment.)

DO keep an open mind and try your hand at whatever job is offered to you. However, DON'T stay in a job that you actually hate -- for example, if you get off the bus nauseous and shaking, and the first thing you think about is whether or not you can get away with puking in the potted plant in the reception area. (This is the other lesson I learned during that period.)

DEAR ANN LANDERS:I read the letter from the man whose mother-in-law kept her telephone number listed in her deceased husband's name. It reminded me of my late grandmother -- and made me smile. Grandma's husband, "George," died in 1966, but she never changed the directory listing. About 20 years later, a young woman made a crank call to Grandma and said, "Hey, lady, your husband George is in my bed right now. Guess what we're doing?" Grandma informed the young woman that George had been dead for 20 years so he couldn't possibly be doing much. The woman hung up immediately and never called again. We all got a good laugh out of the story and hope your readers will, too. -- Granddaughter in Alabama

Ann said:

DEAR ALABAMA GRANDDAUGHTER: Your grandmother had quite a sense of humor. Crank callers are a breed unto themselves -- short on brains and long on time. Every now and then, I get a crank call. I've learned the best way to handle it is to hang up promptly and take the phone off the hook for about 10 minutes. It works.

Cath says:

DEAR ALABAMA GRANDDAUGHTER: That's pretty funny. I haven't gotten a crank call in a long time. Then again, I don't pick up my phone.

DEAR ANN LANDERS: In case your readers might want to know, male reindeer drop their antlers from late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, Santa's reindeer are all pregnant females, including Rudolph. Please, Ann, let's set the record straight. -- Kay in Parkland, Fla.

Ann said:

DEAR KAY IN PARKLAND, FLA.: Does Santa know this? I'm shocked! My research says very young male reindeer also have antlers at Christmastime. Let's assume Rudolph is a boy. I can't speak for Donner and Blitzen.

Cath says:

DEAR KAY: I'll have to tell a friend of mine about this. We had assumed that since Santa's reindeer have antlers, that they were all male -- including Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen. This new information will certainly recast our theories about the reindeer's gender identities. Let's hear it for pregnant chicks! And Girl Power!

Home | Archives | Detailed Stats provided by Hitbox