Mission Statement
March 6, 2001
Welcome to the Ann Landers Rebuttal Page. Whereas I feel compelled to give Ann Landers credit for being a pioneer in the world of syndicated advice columns, I have to say, I feel that her advice often isn't very sound. As a twentysomething New Yorker, I expect that my take on other people's problems is quite different from Ann's. At any rate, I feel that Ann's (and my own) readers can only benefit from multiple points of view, and I tend to think that Ann would agree. I'm not so sure how keen her lawyers are on the idea, though.
Although I can't make any promises, I hope to update this site frequently. The more popular it becomes, the more incentive I will have to keep it fresh for you.
It is my philosophy that advice isn't meant to be taken. It is meant merely to be heard and considered. In the end, your own mind, heart, and guts are what guides you. Listen to them, not us or anyone else.-- Cath
Visit Ann Landers and the Web, for all your Ann Landers needs . . .
DEAR ANN LANDERS: My daughter just turned 16. "Becky" acts very innocent around me, but yesterday, I found her diary and was shocked to learn that she has been sneaking out of the house at night and doing things with boys. She hasn't "gone all the way," as we used to call it, but that will surely be the next step, and I fear it is not far off. How can I approach Becky without letting her know I read her diary? I don't want her to ruin her life by getting pregnant or worse. Please tell me how to handle this. - Worried Mom in the Southwest
DEAR SOUTHWEST MOM: You're going to have to admit to Becky that you read her diary, and be prepared to accept her wrath for doing it. This will be far less painful than pretending you don't know what she is doing with boys and then learning she's pregnant. Teenagers who start to have sex do not stop simply because they've been reprimanded. What Becky needs at this point in her life is information. Send her to a gynecologist who will inform her about how to protect herself from sexually transmitted diseases and what to do to avoid becoming pregnant. Also, Mom, try to open the channels of communication between you and your daughter. You can have a tremendous influence on Becky if she feels comfortable talking to you about her love life. And if you are helpful and non-judgmental, she is more likely to pay attention when you discuss her behavior.
DEAR SOUTHWEST MOM: Don't come clean about reading the diary. At least, not for a good couple of years. "Some things, a mother just knows," and this is one of them. The fact that you did it cliffs-notes style by reading her diary is of no consequence to her, so don't mention that part. (For the record, it's wrong, stop reading her diary . . . but you can't just ignore the info you've already gleaned from it, right?) Do go ahead and have a nice frank talk with her about sex and its potential consequences. Yeah, she gets sex ed in school, (or does she?) but she needs to hear your thoughts on the matter. If you're too embarrassed to talk about sex with her, no wonder she's acting all innocent in your presence. Let's face it, she knows how she got here, and so do you. Gynecological checkup at 18 years of age or when she becoms sexually active, whichever comes first. (Probably the best motivator to stay a virgin until 18 . . . )
DEAR ANN LANDERS:You recently printed a letter from a reader who was upset to see doctors smoking cigarettes on a television show. Your response was off the mark when you suggested the cigarettes were there because of product placement. Under the terms of the 1998 tobacco settlement agreement between members of the tobacco industry and the states, all the major tobacco companies are forbidden to pay for product placement in movies, TV shows or other performances. Philip Morris USA does not seek, pay for, or, for that matter, approve product placement of its cigarette brands in movies or on TV. - Ellen Merlo, senior vice president of corporate affairs, Philip Morris USA, New York
DEAR ELLEN MERLO: You deserve to be heard, and in the interest of fair play, I am printing your letter. OK, I believe you when you say Philip Morris does not pay for product placement, but when you imply that the cigarette company disapproves of product placement, I say, "Baloney."
DEAR ELLEN MERLO: [Note: I can not reply to this letter without incurring a chain of conflicts of interest, and creating a whole big mess involving those most dear to me.]
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Ann's words are copyright 2001, Creators Syndicate, Inc. Cath's words copyright 2001, Catherine McGivney. Cath has never sought, and Ann Landers and Creators Syndicate have never granted, permission to use the Ann Landers column on this website.