Mission Statement
March 6, 2001
Welcome to the Ann Landers Rebuttal Page. Whereas I feel compelled to give Ann Landers credit for being a pioneer in the world of syndicated advice columns, I have to say, I feel that her advice often isn't very sound. As a twentysomething New Yorker, I expect that my take on other people's problems is quite different from Ann's. At any rate, I feel that Ann's (and my own) readers can only benefit from multiple points of view, and I tend to think that Ann would agree. I'm not so sure how keen her lawyers are on the idea, though.
Although I can't make any promises, I hope to update this site frequently. The more popular it becomes, the more incentive I will have to keep it fresh for you.
It is my philosophy that advice isn't meant to be taken. It is meant merely to be heard and considered. In the end, your own mind, heart, and guts are what guides you. Listen to them, not us or anyone else.-- Cath
Apologies for not updating more frequently. I've been telemarketing . . . and drinking irresponsibly . . .
Visit Ann Landers and the Web, for all your Ann Landers needs . . .
DEAR ANN LANDERS: My 63-year-old mother has been dating since my father passed away five years ago. I have always welcomed her beaus with open arms. My concern is her latest gentleman friend. Mom met "Monty" three weeks ago through a personal ad. Now she tells me she is going away with him for a Caribbean cruise. They are sharing a stateroom, if you get the picture. All I know about Monty is that he has been married and divorced twice. Mom gets starry-eyed whenever she mentions his name. She has told me how "dreamy" it would be if she could be a "bride" again. I know Mom has been lonely, but she has never lacked for male companionship. I don't understand why she has gone so gaga over Monty. Talking to her does no good. She is not rational these days. I'm worried sick and need to know how I can persuade her to wait to get more serious until she knows more about this guy. - New York Daughter
DEAR DAUGHTER: I doubt that you can do anything to "save" your mother from what you perceive to be a disastrous move. On the other hand, Monty could turn out to be a wonderful person. You could hire a private investigator to have him checked out, but the results may not matter to your mother. All you can do is keep your fingers crossed and pray a lot. I'll pray, too.
DEAR DAUGHTER: You warned her. Now she has to make her own mistakes. Be a good girl when she comes to you for a shoulder to cry on.
DEAR ANN LANDERS:My husband and I have been married for five years and have one child. We have managed very few trips for just the two of us. On those rare occasions, I want our time together to be private and without interruption. When we are away, we leave a phone number with our baby-sitter and in-laws and make it clear that they should use it for emergency purposes only. Unfortunately, my in-laws pay no attention to our wishes. They call my husband constantly, saying they "just want to hear his voice." They don't care if they wake us up or interrupt us while we are making love, which they have done many times. I have asked my husband to inform his parents that their calls are not welcome when we are on vacation, but he refuses to do it. He says it would hurt their feelings. What about my feelings? I have suggested that we spend our next vacation at a resort where there are no telephones, but he said it would make him nervous to be out of reach. How can I get my in-laws to respect our privacy? - Bugged in Maryland
DEAR BUGGED: Your in-laws are not going to respect your privacy, especially if your wimpy husband refuses to cooperate, so give up on that dream. Your best hope is protection from the intrusions. Most hotels (and some motels) have switchboard operators. Tell the operator, "Please do not put any calls through to our room. Ask the caller to leave a number, and we will call back."
DEAR BUGGED: It's called voice mail. Use it.
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Ann's words are copyright 2001, Creators Syndicate, Inc. Cath's words copyright 2001, Catherine McGivney. Cath has never sought, and Ann Landers and Creators Syndicate have never granted, permission to use the Ann Landers column on this website.