Are You Andrea Dworkin?

Yes, you are, in a very fundamental sense.

The feminist activist Andrea Dworkin is dead. The Guardian had a good article about her. None of the articles said much that was coherent about the cause of death (osteoarthritis? That's not fatal!), but it seems that she had a number of chronic diseases. Probably her body just couldn't go on.

There is a tendency to praise people once they are dead. Or at least, to speak neutrally, as happened a lot with Dworkin. She was heavily criticized in life, and couldn't quite move into the positive after death. Those who start in a positive light tend to become saints after death.

Why is this? I mean, when people leave a company, it's usually only a short time before all the criticisms come out. People were polite about Bob's nasal voice and Joan's sloppy editing jobs while they worked there, but once they're gone-- no holds barred! People who are dead have effectively left the company forever, so why the strong need to praise, to find some positive remembrance?

Simple. People who die remind us that we will die. Every single one of us will fall ill and eventually succumb to something as Dworkin did (unless we just get hit by a bus or shot or something). It will probably be painful, and it will possibly be humiliating. Certainly it involves a loss of our present prowess, both physical and mental. The vast majority of us fear this immensely.

"Respect for the dead" means respect for our fear of death. Dworkin was a little farther ahead of the rest of us in line. But the line inches forward inevitably, and we'll fall off the cliff soon enough. We can honor the event when we see it occur in others as a way of honoring our own flickering flame, one day closer to the cliff every day.

Oh, don't worry, it won't last. Dworkin will be lampooned again in a matter of months. After a suitable period, during which we once again establish the pretense that we won't die, all the old invectives will be reinvoked. Like the way we are a bit more casual about 9/11 now than we were in the weeks immediately afterward.

Some decry our relaxation after 9/11, as if we've forgotten something horrible that we should instead be reliving, in all its horror, every day. Others call it a healing, a natural return to homeostasis. In the case of Dworkin, some will want to maintain the respect forever, now that she's dead, while others will be happy to respect the dead briefly, then return to the homeostasis of lampooning her.

A couple things come out of this for me:

First, why do we wait until someone dies to speak kindly and/or respectfully toward them? If Andrea Dworkin really possessed the good qualities outlined in the Guardian article, why were they never spoken about openly until she was cooling in the casket? Sure, there's negative stuff too-- name a person who doesn't have many faces. I just think it's an amazing waste of good will to only offer it after the subject of it is dead. That indicates that the praise is perhaps more for the giver than the receiver.

And second, the means for allowing the expression of good will while people are still alive is obvious, if unpleasant: We would all do well to reflect on our own mortality more often. Like, every day. Remind yourself that you will die, and that everyone around you will die (those you like and those you don't). It's not morbid, it's reality. And practiced carefully, mindfully, and with full respect for life, this reflection leads to greater good will. We are all in this together, and only for a short time.

You, yes you, are Andrea Dworkin.