Hello and welcome to the World of Koz. First thing. I'm gonna say flat out that if you are a sensative reader then please do not go to the World of koz. Its violent,often vulgar and it is absolutely no place for small children. (If you must show them some of my art, go visit my furry art collection. It's clean.)
OK Having read that if you are still around welcome! =) The world of Koz is a comic series I made throughout my years in high school and the early years of college. (Although I occasionally get a wild idea and reserect Koz for some obnoxious mayhem) The fun thing about Koz is that he is totally obnoxious, I cant really think of a good thing to say about him except he almost always wins and has a blast doing it! =) Koz is for those folks who like to see the bad guys win once in a while.
Another aspect of The World of Koz is a series of comics that I call the one framers. These are the one or two frame comics I drew that were spoof on real life events during high school. Uproariously funny to the folks who participated in them, (My friends wanting to see them again is the main inspiration for this page), the one framers usually have to be explained to onlookers from the outside before their humor becomes apparant. The main purpose of the text descriptions that will accompany the comics below is to give the viewer the background that usually comes from me as I look over their shoulder RL. =)
Well This being said, You've been warned! Welcome to the essence of insanity.
This page and its contents are the work of Chris Kozloski(koz@mindspring.com) The opinions, links and occassional questionable humor are not necessarily the opionions of Mindspring or my employers.
AS you can tell...this page is under construction. Most of the links are invalid simply because I do not have enough space to hold all the Gifs. I make the entire index in the hope I can eventually find (OOr afford) the space need to hold the archive. I'll try to rotate the active links so you can see the whole collection piecemeal---Koz
Remember those old Dodge commercials whered theys drop the cars from the ceiling behind the drivers? This is my response. (Oh and the picture is 10+ years old so expect the quality ya get)
Another Commercial Spoof. Remember the talking Banner toilet tissue roll?
I used to ski a lot when I was a Kid until I moved east. Here's my attempt to relearn (And yes I was a teenager at the time as the ending shows...)
Have a problem? Heres the solution
I drew this one right in the year we had the Aspirin tasmpering scare whose spill over totally ruined Holloween forever. I was so sick of these PSA's every 1o seconds on TV.
Koz gets a scuba tank and well the beach is never the same. Appologies to Preston Blair.
Koz gets his learners permit. God I hate "Baby on Board" signs.
Spike the dragon, The little toy that came with the castle. But excuse me. Arent horses the favorite food of dragons?
Kos's dream is to get some respect to his comic and he has done it by arranging an interview with Kareem Abdul Jabar....
Charlie and Mable spoof that god awful Donnagel commercial
Some gratuitious violence! Isn't it grand! =) (Oh and I dont really feel this way about punkers RL.)
I Hate the Smurfs...
John Mann did a comic where I took over his comic strip and started doing horrible things to his character. Well its time for him to get his revenge!
Koz gets revenge on John getting revenge
John gets revenge on my getting revenge for his getting revenge...Got that? =)
Ever wanted to drive a tank on the highway?
My first Job! And one of the most revolting endings I have ever drawn! =)
Koz challenges the Giants to a bet...
John hadnt sent me a tape in a long time so I remended him...
The name says it all. This was right when skate rats first started manastatising their insipid culture. (Needless to say I have not had good encounters with these people)
John Mann and his family invited me to go to a lake in upstate New hampshire for a week long vacation. One day John and I got bored and decided to throw some old beer bottle out into the lake and try to peg them with rocks. I got 4 of the five and the last floated away out of reach. John was pissed! (Specially since he did get a hit...resulting in a loud CLING but no shatter!
The news was spouting this big organ transplant procedure, a record, for over a week. Here's Koz's response.
This one really has to be seen in person to appreciate the damage I did to the paper in respect to the comic! =) It also has the honor of having grossed out the most people from the axe hacks on the bottom right corner! =)
Another thing I cant stand. Especially as they seem to be drawn to me when I'm trying to sleep.
One of my favorites. Somewhere I have an animation of this I did for my Broadcast animation class.
One of my Subtle -ahem- digs at the quality of my high school cafeteria's food.
A semi reactivation of the Revenge sequences...this didnt get going like I expected it to. Oh well.
We found the Fun Fruits Dinosaur! Its friendly! (Dont you wish it wasn't?)
Two raunchy comics. The Chili one has to do with an attempt in high school to be accepted at George Mason University to take some geology courses (As High School didn't offer any).
The scariest thing about this comic is that Bobby (Fish) CJ and I used to have food fights this bad at work all the time. (The managers philosophy was keep it out of sight, dont waste too much food and clean up your mess.)
More inventive ways to clean the gene pool.
The High School One Framers
The McDonalds I worked at had the highest concentration of flies I have ever seen in my life. Bobby and I used to go to great lengths to clear them out of the crew room before we came down with our food.
Koz and Fish go after the flies again.
At McDonalds again, showing the aftermath of one of our nightly food fights. As usual, Cj is getting the worst of it!
At one point we were doing this to Bobbys Car every night after work.
This was my standard greeting when calling Fish on the phone for several months before it got old! =)
When the word got out in school they were towing cars from the senior lot (The ones with out stickers) This was the usual frenzied result!
Bobby was the first of us to get a car and everyone (Desperate to escape the bus) started piling into his car for a carpool. Unfortunately, I was too late to find out before all of Bobbys seats were filled and then some.
The worst teacher I have ever had. Mrs Zinno. The poster cow for the evils of tenure. Describing Quote: "Heh, I don't care." She is the reason I hate mathematics.
The age old Joke about school cafeteria food
Student Government picks up on Cafeteria Fund raising.
Bitch Zinno again.
Fish decides to confront his car TPers! Big Mistake!
Gary McOwen. One of the biggest goofs I used to hang out with (The sacary thing is he is in the military and carrying automatic weapons now--Shudder--). One day about 8 of us piled into Fish's car and the goof started cooking off some of the most obnoxious gas I've encountered in my lifetime, all in close quarters where nobody could get away. Heres the comic response.
Kenny haad the most persistantly evil gas ever imaginable, and would cook them off silently in class. Of course they were silent so you didnt know he did it till one crawled up your nose and died. This boy literally could stink up an entire classroom.
The B-Wing at FAirfax High School had the deadliest air conditioning system ever invented. I'm talking meat locker.
Another Kenny Comic. This after eating the School burritos that tore US up.
Yet another Bitch Zinno Comic
We always busted on one another. Heres Bobbys turn to get the treatment! =)
CJ had this Blue Jean Jacket that he wore every day...
We had this Janitor at school. All he'd is walk around the cafeteria at lunchwith a big waste basket, "Trash...Trash...Trash...." You really had to see the guy to appreciate this! =)
Fish used to drive by my bus stop every morning.
Trash the Janitor gets revenge
Bobby forgets an essential step in using the school restrooms.
My opinion of "School Spirit"
Another Pun set up
Tisha and Crystal sat on either side of Bobby and teased him to the boiling point...then grabbed his underware and gave him one of the most horrific wedgies I have ever been witness to! =)
This ones kinda gross! =)
Another commercial spoof. I really like this one! =)
Bitch Zinno returns (Can you tell I really hate this woman?)
Another Pun
I think the name says it all. I still want to flush the guy.
Love is in the air like an electric field! =)
One of my most laughed at comics. This one is rude! =)
A Pun!
This guy named Kevin made a wind tunnel for an aeronautical science fair project. When he turned it on, it blew over displays 3 table rows over! =)
Um...CJ makes a Mistake! =)
The Washington Capitals are loosing another game that Jeff and I are watching.
Busting On CJ and his Blue Jean Jacket again.
Busting On Bobby and his Girlfriend
A pun!
A group of us went to Kings Dominion and it rained like the biblical flood.
Axis and Allies, a simple game, a competetive game, but by the time Fish, Alex, Jason, CJ and myself had been playing it for an age it became a point of honor! The comic describes the events after Alex finished his turn stood up with his guitar and drug the amp cord across the game board! The scary thing is we had the pieces back in under 5 minutes.
Coming back from Kings dominion we made a wrong turn.
Busting on CJ.
Bobby left one of his shoes in mt car from the Kings dominion trip.
CJ's step dad Bob, a.k.a. "The Flabmaster"
Busting on CJ. This one is rude.
Bobby Alex Squid and Jason practiced months for the Battle of the Bands...and then Fish got restricted for breaking curfew 2 days before the competition.
CJ went out with this hideous girl once. (I'm talking overweight, drunk and Downright Ugly) To this day we still havn't let him live it down! (Hey CJ! Mooooooo-cow! Suuu-eeeeeee!! Suuu-eeeeeee!!)
Two Comics commenting on Senior Prom
Bitch Zinno again (The most irritating thing is I knew all the material...I just coundn't pass the bloody tests.)
At one point, we had so much Library pass abuse the school cracked down on issuing them.
You see all these comics I've done? My friends got even by making me the main bust target during lunch! "Bust him back down to size" it was called! =)
The joys of channel surfing. Go from a wild life film to the sports channel and this is what comes out! =)
Now they are gone Id rather have them back instead of the power rangers, but this comic seems to remind me of the horror when TMNT was king.
One of the Dangers from living in Kentucky too long!
An old visual gag.
One of Bobbys conquests was this chick named Maria, 14 and had been down on everything but the titanic...
Bobby had an operation for scoliosis. Heres the comics I drew for him while in the hospital.
The Almighty Fishhead, ladies man, hasn't had a date for months! (Too much "Upgrading" caught up!) He's gettin desperate!
CJ with a date? Could it be true?
More comics about CJ's blue jean jacket
On a trip to the beach, Fish and CJ spent hours trying to blow up some sand crabs with fireworks! The end result!
CJ spent a full hour blowing up this huge raft to ride the waves in. I think next time he'll use a pump! =)
One of my "Classics." Here myself and I lot of my old friends from Jr High continue on the most resent installment of a spoof on Star Trek.The inn jokes are too thick to explain without a special page devoted to this! =) (Note: A Star trek 3 remake is in the writing.)
The result of our weekly risk games. Alex rolling badly, Fish and Jason ridiculing him loudly, CJ pondering a banzai run after his next series of bad rolls and me with my usual late night headache. This comic was carried around in the game box for years! =)
Bobby, Jason, CJ, Alex and I played a game of axis and allies that lasted for 3 weeks. (The boasting and egos riding on the outcome prolongued the game because no one wanted to take a risk and end up the looser...(I eventually did... Yes Fish my rolls suck!)
Bobby has a dream of some..err...special endowment...and it turns disasterous!
Bitch Zinno returns
Revenge on the Censors! The origonal has the corner literally burned out where the censor sensor hit.
This is not an origonal Koz Comic...but its absolutely dreadful! =)
My celebration of the victory in the Persian Gulf war! =)
The comic I drew after my wisdom teeth were pulled. This hung in the dentists office for months they said.
College One Framers
The Elevators at PFT (Pierce Ford Tower) were obnoxiously slow.
Our friend Heath decided to quit smoking. We gave him all sortsa hell! =)
Western is located on a very steep hill.
Like most campases, parking at WKU sucks!
Troy and I went looking for the mall the first weeek in Bowling green...and took a wrong turn
The Soviets had sold advertising space along side one of their missles on a space launch...
A Pun! =)
Troy and I cooked up this hideously hot batch of chili one day.
Every year the fire alarm test was held at 6 in the morning on a monday to effect the max number of residents...
Another Pun
One of the most amazing things about out cafeteria on campass ia I never ever saw a single fly in the thing....
My freshman year was marked by a rash of fire alarms in the wee hours of the morning, usually because Idiots constantly threw lit cigarettes down the trash chute.
The arrival of Koz's arch nemesi
Oh yes. When we did have alarms we wer kept outside well after it was known the fire was out...I'm talkin hours here.
This one has to be seen.
My roomate had an infuriating habit of hitting the snooze button 5 times before getting up...waking me up each time...)
There was a corner on campas which every idiot driver took too fast with a squeeling of tires...
A sad but true Pun
In Louisville a whacko flipped and shot up the Standare Graviure building and its occupants. Thjis inspired me on some rather anti NRA Comics. (The amazing thing is I support the NRA 90 percent of the time)
Yet another pun
We had some rude idiots on campas when it came to crossing the street.
Michael and Jeffery. The differences between two people in one dorm room.
A Jab at Modern art teqhniques with a koz type twist. =)
A truly Awful Pun
Finger Foods
Koz gets an interview with Poge and the old critter end up like all possoms do. Appologies to Walt Kelly.
One of out RA's, in an attempt to quell the weekend trashing of the bathroom by the floors children, decided the best idea was to take all the TP from the bathroom when people flung it everywhere...
A marketing idea. Do you think it would sell?
The Hair wars I think is the best example of my ability to take a single insignificant incident and blow it completely out opf proportion! It is based upon my freshman decision to try and grow a beard. This has to be one of the filthiest comics I have written as far as language is concerned. Consider yourself warned.
Um...this one is visual and disgusting.You have been warned! =) Oh this reminds me of one of my dorm plots to fill the Urinals with Lemon Jello to see how many people I could make sick! But I digress! =)
Actually I hate Basketball because I think the sport sucks and I'm sick of its fans. But this is a definate other reason. And it is based on a true story. 8T
The Care Bears return in an attempt to spread the word of caring through Koz's comic.
Have you ever noticed that the moment you clean your windsheild something happens to it?
It was a sad day in History when Bloom County gave us its last farewell. Here's my tribute to one of the comic strips that gave me inspiration to excell.
Up to this point I had avoided picking on religion in the World of Koz. But after this hyperzealous cow looked over my shoulder in class to see what I was drawing, had a major attack of religion, and then condemned me to hell for being so foul (I was drawing the Care bears vs Koz (see next entry) for gods sake and it's not that bad) I decided the time had come for this comic to be born. Beside if she was gonna go balistic on me I figures some salt in the old wounds would be fitting! =)
The bears decide to warm Koz's Heart agian. And he answers with the set up for another awful pun.
Our Dorm PFT (Pierce Ford Tower) had all its windows sealed to stop people throwing junk from them. (It was a 26 floor dorm, folks) Unfortunately this totally disrupted the planned air circulation of the building which resulted in horrible levels of dust, mold pollen etc. Here's my response.
Coming home for spring break, 1992. I was clocked doing 82 in a 65 zone. The end result.
Koz is always looking for ways to promote himself and here from the blue comes the chance of a lifetime! Appologies to Jim Davis.
Our Next Door Dorm mate Michael Carter was a very learned gentleman. And I so enjoyed showing him the new comics for the day! He swore he would suffer brain damage if he saw another one! Heres his attempts to sneak into his room without my subjecting him to his daily bout of torture.
Community Showers inthe doorm You have to love the stupidity of the concept. Well at least I got a comic out of it! =)
He! He! Arent you tempted to do this every year when the little snips spread all the leaves ya just raked all around! =)
This is based on a day where Fish CJ and I went to Springfield mall and the plumbing was down in the entire place due to a sewer leak. When we left CJ's eyes were about to turn yellow and with the traffic it took us 30 minutes to go 4 blocks to the nearest McDonalds. (After discovering the local 7-11 didnt have customer bathrooms)
Don't tree huggers get on your nerves? Heres my response. Oh and Just for the record, the inspiration for this came from the day I nailed a squirrel on campass with a water baloon. I hope sometime in your life you can see a pissed, waterdripping squirrel squawking at you from way up in a tree! It was one of the hardest belly laughs I have ever had in my life! =)
Some HARD Physical humor...Its rather disgusting! =)
The Carebears finally push Koz too far and have to resort in the ultimate weapon to keep Care-a-Lot from being destroyed. The PR Bears. This one is very twisted.
Juanitas is based on a mexican restaraunt my friends and I used to descend upon before we discovered the Chi-Chi's Lunch Buffet. The idea here is an extention of the horror story of Koz and Fish Working in the same restaraunt! =) Oh yeah - Unfortunately the stupid sketchpad I was using is too big for the scanner so I lost around a centimeter on the top or the bottom. I'll try to include whats missing in the comments for the gif if ya download it.