by Jeff Goode & Larrance Fingerhut
copyright 1992

(Sam holds the crown.)

ALL. What would you do, if you were King for a day?
Throw your cares in a dungeon, and throw the key away?
Would you outlaw depression, and make it a crime?

Sam. When I was just a lad, I had to be sad,
But now I really haven't got the time.

ALL. If you were King for a day.

Wiz Let me try.

(Wiz holds the crown.)

ALL. What if today, for one day, you were King?
Would you gild all your worries with diamonds and things?
And eat lots of candy, and cookies and milk

Wiz. I could never sink, I don't think, to wear mink
Could you show me one of these in silk?

ALL. If you were King for a day.

(Spoken section:)

Sam. I think I should straighten out a couple things. This isn't a kingdom.
It's an empire. So I'm not the king, I'm the emperor.
Wiz. Oh, I see. So I'm not your friend, I'm the emperor's friend.
Sam. Yes. ...or no. Now I'm completely confused.
any Excuse me, your highness.
Sam (correcting:) Your Majesty.
Wiz. Just call him, butthead.
any. Is this where you wanted the dance sequence?
Sam. Please.

(Dance section.)


Sam I'm ready to rise to the occasion.
If the occasion isn't too high.

(Spoken section:)

Squire Excuse me.
Sam. Excuse me, what?
Squire Excuse me, butthead.
Wiz. That's royal butthead to you.
Squire Can I have a verse too?
Wiz. Sure, go ahead.
Sam. Hey, I'm the king.
Wiz. Emperor.
Sam. Emperor.
Wiz. Junior.
Sam. I think I should be making the decisions here.
Wiz You make the big decisions. I'm your trusted advisor. I handle the
small stuff.
Sam But--
Wiz Look out, small stuff comin' through.

(Wiz shoves Sam out of the way as the chorus enters for the
final verse.)

(Squire holds the crown.)

ALL. If you were King (for one day) what would you do?
Summon your troubles, and paint them all blue?
Coat them with glitter, and throw a parade?

Squire blah-blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah blah-blah
and something that rhymes with parade.

(Everybody glares at Jeffrey for his stupid verse. Then they

ALL If just for one day, I could have it my way.
For a day, I would think I'd have it made!

If I were King for a day.
If I were King for a day!!

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