[ outline of below: childhood/adolescence/high school was weird. i live in atlanta now. i don't mean for things that i write to the list, etc. to be taken as seriously as i have heard that people do.]

my whole life is pretty much a blur, and i sometimes combine memories of different events all into one big memory. i used to remember dreams as things that really happened, but i grew out of that.

the breakdown:

now:
i live in atlanta, but i don't want to for long. i moved from auburn, alabama where i got my b.a. in journalism. i think i will eventually go back to school. i work for the atlanta journal-constitution where i am currently one of three resident automatons. i hate my job and am looking for a new one. i have about 4 friends in atlanta, but am making steady progress toward more. straight, liberal. even though i have been (until the past few months) been reading asg-x for more than a year, i am still a newbie. still subscribed to all three lists, post less frequently than i think about doing so.

i work at night and am constantly on irc (crnflkgrl/atomica/ and most recently eee), lots of time with it in the background. i have been told i am much more intresting/fun irl. i have also been told that the things i say on here are sometimes taken as me whining, when in actuality i am joking (actually 85 percent of the time i am joking). i never would have known, but i'm glad i do. i am sincere about important things, like offering help. if it is not wanted -- that's cool too. no worries.

i appreciate, very much in fact, people's honesty in all areas of my life.

i read not as much as i should. last night i reread part of skinny legs and all, a zelda fitzgerald short story (i can't remember the name -- i suck with remembering things) and the j. crew clearance catalog. i love music, all sorts, and i appreciate the stuff i don't like for its worth to other people. last night i listened to the lemonheads, indigo girls, billy bragg and mozart's requiem. that's not extremely accurate of what i consider my tastes, but it's a start.

i think all things are relative. i am not religious, but i am spritual. i believe in the power of nature and of other people. i care a lot, and give too much (at least that's what my shrink tells me -- today was my third visit, she says i shouldn't come back until things start bothering me again). i like to color in coloring books. i have a lot of 8 tracks (i guess i collect em, but i never thought of it that way). red wine is better than white. i smoke, but not around (or even near) people it bothers, i think that's rude. many of my friends are meese. yes, i have an accent. rain is the coolest, and you guys are pretty rockin' too.

childhood:
lived in centreville (notice the faincy spellin'), alabama until i was six and my parents divorced (moved to tuscaloosa, my sister, who is now 28, stayed in centreville). i was a tomboy. most of my friends were boys. i liked forts in the woods, mud, bb guns and my drum set. i had one barbie which i mangled beyond repair. i was in my first play when i was 4 and i thought it was cool because i got to smear this mud stuff all over me and pretend i was a native american princess (i am part cherokee, as well as a bunch of other stuff -- greek, french, german and irish to name a few). i had bad hair. i loved wonder woman, had the halloween costume and the underoos. i had a pretty rockin time.

adolescence/junior high:
i was a geek, in gifted class and all that like most of you i presume. i lived in a college town, so i was exposed to a lot more than people growing up in normal towns -- for that i am grateful. most of my friends were still boys. i did some plays in my spare time. i got into my first and only fight in 7th grade. well actually it wasn't a fight, it was more like me knocking this guy in the head with a snowball (it was amazing that it snowed first of all, but it snowed in april too!) because he was picking on this other guy. he came up to me, asked me if i did it. like a dumbass, i said yes. BAM! WAAAAAAAH! i just ran away crying with a bloodied face. his gloves had snow all stuck to them and made big scrapes all the way down my face. i'm not big on fighting or violence in general, i can't watch bloody movies easily and normally try to avoid them. i still had bad hair.

high school:
i was a joiner, but a weird sort. i was involved in all sorts of clubs and crap, officers in some, just there in others. i was in choir. i wasn't fucked up enough to hang with the weird people, not was i pretentious enough to hang with the snots, so i ended up making my way into several different social circles. i was one of those people who never got into trouble, but was doing the exact same thing other people who did get into trouble were doing. i spent most every weekend drunk from about tenth grade on. i had better hair. i got called skater and hippi a lot by rednecks, which i thought was funny. especially if they would go, "hey! have you been smoking some of that wacky tobaccy?" redneck watching used to be a pastime of mine.

my relationship with my mother during this time was very bad, at best. we argued continually, until i finally just got to the point where i couldn't deal with having continually bad feelings about her and her about me, so i left and moved in with my father. a power struggle ensued between the two of them, which ended with my mother attempting to get the school board in tuscaloosa not to let me enroll in my senior year of high school there and my dad pulling rank and politics and getting his lawyer and friend of the family (also a friend of the superintendent) to talk to the school people. my dad won. politics normally do. i love my parents, and they are probably two of my best friends now. it took a while to get to that point, though.